Jump to content

Menu

Update on dd's pg, and question about those remembrance pendants


StaceyinLA
 Share

Recommended Posts

Dd's levels continued to drop slowly, and they did another ultrasound to verify that the pregnancy wasn't viable. She ultimately chose to go through with a D&C yesterday. I think the emotional roller coaster over the last few weeks had really taken its toll. She is feeling okay, and I think she had come to grips with the loss even before the procedure.

 

In light of this, I would like to get her one of those necklaces to just be a remembrance. With her sister expecting, and the excitement that will accompany that, I surely do not want her to think I am forgetting about, or diminishing the pain of, her loss.

 

Thanks to anyone who can point me in the right direction, and I appreciate all the prayers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No links for the pendants, but I want to say what a wonderful thing it is you are doing for her supporting her through this, and the pendant.  I know it seems like it should be a no brainer.  It's your dd and so you support her, but so many mothers are not like that.  My last loss I found out a couple days before my sister's bridal shower.  The baby had not started to pass yet, but I had bad cramping, and had already confirmed it.  I had to put a smile on and help host the bridal shower, I was not able to mourn for the baby that would never be, everything had to be sunshine and roses for my sister.  It was very hurtful to have that added on top of the loss.  That had been my 6th loss and I was having a harder time coping with it than the ones before.  And I really could have used my mother's support.  It is so uplifting to me to see how you have stood by your dd and supported her through every step of this.

I am sorry for her loss and hope she recovers from the D&C quickly.

back to the pendant.  With my last loss, I bought a bracelet that I had made using the birthstones of the month the baby was due.  It wasn't anything fancy, it was made by someone who makes jewelry at home, so a beaded bracelet but it felt good and right to have it.  I wore it for a very long time.  Now it sits in my jewelry box seldom worn but I like going and holding it and praying for that little soul (and the ones before).  I have not seen pendants before for remembrance of a m/c but I know if it was me I would have loved for my mother to have gotten me one.  Having someone else acknowledge that this was a life and wanting to remember it would have made the whole grieving process easier.  Too often moms to be are expected to just get over it as soon as possible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No links for the pendants, but I want to say what a wonderful thing it is you are doing for her supporting her through this, and the pendant.  I know it seems like it should be a no brainer.  It's your dd and so you support her, but so many mothers are not like that.  My last loss I found out a couple days before my sister's bridal shower.  The baby had not started to pass yet, but I had bad cramping, and had already confirmed it.  I had to put a smile on and help host the bridal shower, I was not able to mourn for the baby that would never be, everything had to be sunshine and roses for my sister.  It was very hurtful to have that added on top of the loss.  That had been my 6th loss and I was having a harder time coping with it than the ones before.  And I really could have used my mother's support.  It is so uplifting to me to see how you have stood by your dd and supported her through every step of this.

 

I am sorry for her loss and hope she recovers from the D&C quickly.

 

back to the pendant.  With my last loss, I bought a bracelet that I had made using the birthstones of the month the baby was due.  It wasn't anything fancy, it was made by someone who makes jewelry at home, so a beaded bracelet but it felt good and right to have it.  I wore it for a very long time.  Now it sits in my jewelry box seldom worn but I like going and holding it and praying for that little soul (and the ones before).  I have not seen pendants before for remembrance of a m/c but I know if it was me I would have loved for my mother to have gotten me one.  Having someone else acknowledge that this was a life and wanting to remember it would have made the whole grieving process easier.  Too often moms to be are expected to just get over it as soon as possible.

 

Thank you for your kind words. I am sorry for your losses as well. I am very sad for dd, and my oldest dd's baby shower is next weekend. I know it is going to be so difficult for her; I can't even imagine. As a parent, it is so very difficult to have so much happiness for one child, while having so much sadness for another. I'm sad for my oldest dd because I know this is going to put a damper on how much excitement I outwardly show for her. I don't want to hurt my younger dd by constantly chatting about babies and baby stuff with oldest dd. I feel guilty, and like I am in a lose-lose situation sometimes.

 

I think if I can acknowledge that this is something I am thinking of with her, by remembering the baby, it might help her through it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So sorry for this loss. I remember when I lost one that it helped me to name the baby, even though mine was an early loss and there was no way to know gender.  My little one would have been born in August, and I called her Summer.

 

Agree about naming the baby. I named both of the babies that I lost. There were several friends and family members who were expecting babies around the same time that both of mine would have been born. That was VERY hard on me. I had to avoid all things pregnancy and baby related for a while until I healed emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Let your daughter know that it's okay if she has to do the same. I am praying for her, and I am sorry for the loss.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So sorry for all of you, this must be especially difficult for you as the mother being pulled emotionally in two directions at once.  I lost a baby as well and the D&C was the least of my pain.  I don't wear jewelry with th exception of my wedding rings, so I planted a knockout Rose.  My baby's name is Lily.  (((hugs))) to all three of you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So sorry!

 

Has anyone every told her to try a low dose aspirin? I ask that because I know quite a few ladies on baby forums who are taking a low dose(baby) aspirin for miscarriages. I don't know a lot of information about it but maybe try to google it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I make bracelets. I just opened an Etsy shop for this. I don't have up memorial bracelets yet, but this is something I want to get into, as a charity. My shop is called wordly wear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm so sorry. What a wonderful mother you've been through all of this. I would have loved for my mother to have done something so thoughtful when we lost our baby this spring. I agree with letting her know that she doesn't have to go to th e baby shower if she's not comfortable with that right now. It was helpful for us to name the baby also. We picked out a gender neutral name that we would use if we couldn't find out the sex, and then when the genetic results came back, we were able to give her a name. Your daughter is in my prayers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sorry for her loss.  It may be too late for this post to be useful for you, but I liked jewelry on http://www.october15th.com  It helps to have a "date" to remember/acknowledge as well.  As for aspirin, it was recommended to me by a prior high risk OB when they found a uterine artery blood flow problem during my last pregnancy.  They thought it "may" be helpful, and likely not harmful, so I took it.  It was a successful pregnancy. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...