How do you school through crisis?

[Sue G in PA]

I mean...how do you keep schooling when crisis situations arise? Whether it be chronic illness, death in the family or of a close friend, behavioral issues/mental health issues in children or yourself (LOL), job loss, unexpected move, miscarriage, etc. You know. I can't share specifics, but we are going through one of those tough life seasons right now. School is the absolute LAST thing on my mind and it should be that way. But my kids need to be educated, right? We must maintain some semblance of school, shouldn't we? Public school is not an option. I'm praying this season for us is short...but it might not be. :( I am glad it is summer and am hopeful to be in a different place come September. But, there are just too many unknowns right now. I'm just looking for some advice from anyone who has btdt. I'm trying to be prepared. Thanks.

[Um_2_4]

My crisis was not as severe as some(almost lost the twins at 18 weeks and was put on strict bed rest and meds that made me loopy till 36 weeks, then a rough c/s followed by 2 follow up surgeries within 3 months of delivery), but it came suddenly with no time to plan and no help around. My kids were younger (oldest DS was 5.5 and oldest DD was 3) so all I had to worry about academically was 1st (he was a young KGer), but before my ordered bed rest I was kind of winging it as I had oddles of material from my teacher days, so I didn't have a plan someone could take over for me.

Two things spring to mind. For one, I quickly utilized technology. Up till then we had been pretty low tech. Secondly that is actually when I "found" the living books/classical method as I was not capable of doing projects/worksheets/running around playing games. Amazon delivers (our library was horrible). I got a bunch of books on some topics and we read, and DS drew and dictated. That was content subjects till the twins were older (and sometimes still is ).

I think now if a crisis arose I would stick to basics: math. spelling , writing as much on auto pilot as possible. (TT for math, or the like) and take the children's interests (and needs) to make up some independent unit studies. Make a show using stop motion on topic XXX. All with some timeline for them, but less day to day requirements from you (depending on ages of course).

[sewingmama]

Well I've experienced a lot of those. In a lot of the instances the consistancy of homeschooling really helps you keep your sanity. HS has actually been what has kept me sane a few times because I know I have to focus on something else. As for the specific situations this is how I handled it:

 

Miscarriage - take a week off and then continue schooling. The schooling takes your mind off it and helps you focus on and appreciate the children you do have. Interacting with your children helps heal your hurt.

 

Job loss - just keep schooling, just keep schooling. Everyone really needs the routine especially if the working parent is now at home every day. Your kids will go beserk if there are too many changes - so keep up the schooling routine.

 

Mental issues (adult) - get it sorted. You can't homeschool if you are not at least semi-stable. Your kids are better off at school then being at home with an unstable parent. Seeking help is hard - I realised I had to do it or put my kids in school because if I didn't they would grow up with mental issues themselves. Medication changed mine and their lives but if you can control and deal with it other ways thats fine too ......but deal with it before homeschooling your kids.

 

Acute illness - this one is hard. At one point I had a mystery illness that left me unable to stand up due to dizziness, muscles too weak to even brush my hair and eyes that could barely see, tremours, pins and needles.. I had a million tests for brain tumours, MS etc. all came back negative. Anyway thankfully this was during summer holidays so I didn't have to worry about school. Doctors diagnosed "mystery virus" and sent me on my way. If it happened during school term I probably would have just not schooled for a while till it got sorted and relied on the fact they were young and could easily make it.

 

Chronic Illness: my acute illness lessened into a chronic illness It took me 18 months to recover from that to where my body felt normal again. This is when you choose curriculums that are "do the next page" and fairly independent. When you are well you have a full school day. When you are not you do as much as you are able. Don't choose a curriculum that is time and teacher intensive. You adjust the schooling to suit you.

 

Unexpected move; We just did that. We had 4 weeks to prepare. I just did the basics Reading,maths, language and that was it. I kept their school things in a basket and when we moved I took it in the car with us. That way we just continued on with the basics in the new house until we got sorted. We unpacked the schoolroom first LOL. I unpacked at night and on the weekend.

 

Behavioural/health issues in kids: (one of the reasons I am on anti-depressants LOL). My DD has both of these and cannot go to school because of it. We have good days only occaisionally. Most days there is a lot of school refusual and screaming and time outs in the bedroom. You do what you can while negotiating these issues. Keep in mind school work can always be made up, gaps can always be filled, the kids can always school till they are 20 if they have too. Lots of consistancy works here and lots of daydreaming about the day they turn 18 and you can kick them out ;) This one is actually my hardest challenge. Health is always better managed at home as is behaviour.

 

I hope you manage to find a way to survive whatever you are dealing with

Hugs

[HS Mom in NC]

My girls are now 17,15 and 7.

 

I've homeschooled my then 7 and 9 year olds through our international adoption process and year of h3ll type transition for my youngest who had severe sleep and mild attachment issues when she arrived her at 7 months. Later that year my husband had some clinical depression issues and a crisis of faith and he became an atheist. Since he opted for anti-depressants were were no longer considered eligible for international adoption so I had to deal with not having the large family I wanted. His crisis of faith has been difficult on the marriage since then. We've been in and out of marriage counseling for a couple of years and working out two diametrically opposed world views and approaches to life but we're still together and functioning. Tomorrow is our 20th wedding anniversary.

 

I've homeschooled through my maternal grandfather's 4 month long terminal illness in 2009 and helped my mother, an only child, care for him and my maternal grandmother who had Alzheimer's for about a year total before his death. Then I helped take care of my widowed maternal grandmother, who lived with mom for 2 years before she had a stroke and spent a month in hospice where we didn't let her be alone until she died. My brothers and thier wives helped too.

 

Last year my husband, a computer programmer, quit his job because his company is teetering on the edge of complete dissolution and started his own business. It's been up and down. Mostly down. As soon as we can get out of this house we will. We're in one of those parts of the country where the housing industry boomed and then busted. It may be another year or two and we'll be able to break even if things keep going up-they may not.

 

This December my husband's sister, who beat breast cancer 7 years ago has been diagnosed with terminal cancer in her spine, liver and probably skull. It's genetic. She's 43, married, and has an 8 year old daughter and 12 year old son. She has the dreaded gene that creates a type of breast cancer in females and fast growing prostate cancer in males. My FIL was diagnosed with prostate cancer 2 weeks after her. He had it removed. My husband is opting not to be genetically tested because it could have devastating consequences for medical coverage and life insurance, so we have him in for check ups and pray-I pray anyway.

 

My mother has a condition that may result in brain surgery if this last option for medication doesn't work. Her best friend died a few years ago during surgery for benign brain tumors so my mother's stress level is off the charts adn we're trying to manage it.

 

A few weeks ago a friend asked me, "How do you do it? You're always in a crisis and you keep schooling."

 

1. Focus on essentials. If the reading, writing and math you're doing is high quality, it's all you really really need. You can add other subjects when things calm down, or if you have fluent, mature readers, have them read high quality materials in other subjects (History, Science, Economics, Civics,Logic etc.) along with the writing and math.

 

2. Quality over quantity. The most important thing anyone ever told me about homeschooling was said by the great Pam Woodberry, "If what you're doing is high quality, you don't have to do as much." Reading the Federalist Papers in High School (the originals or the modern English version) along side the Constitution is far better a use of time and energy than any amount of workbook or textbook assignments on the subject. Read Richard Feynman's writings instead of some lab and dry textbook for Physics. Read Aristotle's Rhetoric instead of writing an essay on your views of any given debatable topic. Go to the masters and leave the middle man behind if you have to choose. Choosing very high quality games that reinforce academic skills like math and logic is a perfectly valid addition to your core 3Rs subjects.

 

3. Education is more than academic. There is nothing I could teach my children on any academic topic that is of greater value than having them watch our family care for those in need. The time spent caring for my Grandparents, their sister, my in-laws, staying and working things out with my husband, or in other woods, taking values out of the abstract and demonstrating them in real, concrete ways is even more important than the academics we put aside during the hardest times.

 

4. School on the hoof. We have car schooled, hospice schooled, waiting room schooled, and schooled in the evenings and summer as needed. Do what you can when you can-you only have now make the best of it.

 

5. Change approaches as necessary. If there's a darn good reason to drop your preferred educational philosophy temporarily so you can do more hands on with your kids or do less hands on with your kids, trust your instincts and do it. It's not a failure to adjust to reality. One aspect of a different approach may better fit your life for a short or longer period of time-it's perfectly OK. If you just need to do a prepackaged school in a box thing for now, do it guilt free. Is video instrcution by someone the best option now? Do it. If your kids need more mom in the mix and you want to connect with them in school then get your Charlotte Mason on and read aloud and discuss a wonderful living book with all of your kids at once. You can change back later when it it's a better fit if it's a better fit.

 

6. As a Christian, I have to say my best times in my relationship with God has been in difficult circumstances. Telling Him I couldn't do it and that I needed Him to help me get through the next hour, day or year helped our relationship tremendously. Telling Him (and believing) that it was up to Him to see it through because I couldn't handle it myself and I didn't even have the energy to worry about it was such a weight off me. I was going to do what I thought He wanted me to and the results were up to Him. He hasn't failed me yet. It hasn't been easy but I haven't felt or let down. I was OK with the idea that my kids might have to be homeschooled another year when they were 18 if it was necessary.

 

 

My older two are enrolled in Community college in the fall. My 15 year old tested in college level calculus. They tested out of Reading and the 15 year old did test into a high school level writing class-it's a 95 level, but I don't consider that a failure for a 15 year old. The older one tested into regular 101 type classes. That's good enough.

 

Edit:

 

Besides, the CC just tests all incoming students for Reading, Writing and Math. I believe the standard SAT and ACT type tests focus on those subjects too.

[sewingmama]

I forgot to add - if all else fails there is always Easy Peasy Homeschooling. http://allinonehomeschool.com/

[Chris in VA]

Just want to say you are amazing women!

 

The whole five years I got to home school, we had family disruption due to a child with addiction issues. Thankfully, there were moments of respite. I did put my dd in school for a year, and went back to work part-time. I literally cried every day of that school year, on my way to work. Too much stress, and for me, no good solution. I'm not good at sucking it up and moving on with grace as you guys seem to be! But I got thru it.

 

You will get thru it,too, Sue, whatever it is.

[elegantlion]

One day at a time, with the motto "Blessed are the flexible for they shall not be bent out of shape."

 

I won't recount our crises, but we've been in and out of it for about 3 school years. We refer to 7th grade as the year that almost was. 8th grade was a tad better, this year was going well until spring then life ...well, still in crisis mode.

 

Appreciate what has already been said, too.

 

It also depends on if this is a temporary we-will-survive-this type of crisis, or a long term change in our reality crisis. We've done both, yippee <---sarcasm

Some things I have done: Let go of my picture of the perfect classical high school education. Ds is stubborn and questions everything, it's easier to school when he's had say in the subjects.

 

Realize some days are going to academically suck. It helps me to plan when I can, prioritize what has to be done (I feel the added pressure of high school level work), what would be nice to get done, and what is going to have gaps.

 

Realize my emotional limit. Ds and I have a very chatty type of schooling. There have been a few days I've handed him the list for the day, and had to put out fires all day.

 

Unschool a thing or two. You don't have to unschool everything. Ds ended up basically unschooling computer programming this year. He got more done than I could have ever tried to put into a program. It also kept him distracted from the chaos. I guarded his free time.

 

Don't forget about bonding over something non-academic too. Ds and I watched most of the current seasons of Doctor Who in the last few months. I cried at about every episode, but it was bonding over something not school and not chaotic. I believe it is important that our kids see that we'd like to escape from the chaos of the moment for a while too. I also believe it's important that they see us take that break and then take a step forward.

 

I'm going back to read everything else again. ((hugs)) I'm sorry you're having a difficult time.

[Lizzie in Ma]

It depends on the crisis.

When sil died in September, we went up to be with family and did no school for three weeks.

In the 3 weeks prior to her passing, while dh lived at the hospital with her, we did the basics and tried to keep things fairly normal.

 

When my Mom had a heart attack in February and it was my time to live at the hospital, the kids did the basics on their own for a month.

 

There will always be a season where schooling doesn't seem to fit in. I think that is ok. I think it has to be or we would go mad wouldn't we? Consider them times to build on our relationship with our family. Consider the importance we are placing on the things that truly matter in this life.

 

School is important to us all, obviously, or we wouldn't be homeschooling. Rigor and staying on track are excellent goals. But when things go wrong, as they will, it isn't the end of the world, just part of it.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug:

[GoVanGogh]

:grouphug:

I liked Elegentlion's motto above, "Blessed are the flexible..."

 

My child needs structure and routine, so homeschooling actually helps keep him contained.

 

I also try to remember that public and private school teachers have times of crisis, too. Sometimes they take a leave of absense, but they often have to soldier on... Put on a fake smile, pull back the shoulders and keep on keeping on... That is what got me through a double hit several years ago - my adopted mom passed away and, two days later, my husband's company went out of business. He was home for two months, unemployed.

That was a crazy season. I pulled some fun unit studies off "Homeschool Share" website and we just snuggled on the couch and read and talked, did "lighthearted school." (Not "light" school, but "lighthearted." Things that were easy on my soul.)

 

When my real mom had sudden, life-threatening health problems, I didn't have time to plan anything before I went out of town to be with her. I just pulled out a stack of workbooks, books and videos and told DS, "Do this when I am gone." DS went to work with dad and actually got a fair amount of school done during my absense.

 

We are now in the middle of a major health issue with DS, one that will take up a good portion of our week for several years. I am still trying to find balance. I know I need to pull back on our school hours, as his health is most important. I know I could drop a few subjects that he is advanced in, but those are his favorite subjects and the highlight of his school time.

This has proven to be the biggest challenge of our homeschool to date. We are six months in and I still feel like I am floundering. But we are moving forward, just at a slower pace.

[swellmomma]

I make homeschooling the peg I structure my day on. It may be the last thing on my mind, I may not want to do it in favor of focusing on teh crisis or hiding my head from the crisis. BUt in the end it becomes my fake until I make it peg. We may be only do bare bones stuff, but it gets done, and then I consider those small bits a success and use it to grab back to real life as we come out of the crisis. My life often seems like 1 crisis after another with very little repreive between them, if I didn't make it the must do regardless we would never get school done, ever. This last year has been more like unschooling, but it still got done. We had one year that more like nonschooling before I figured out I had to make it be that staple of each day instead of the crisis being so and we are still trying to make up for that year of lost time.

[Sue G in PA]

Thanks everyone. WIsh I could give you all a big hug for everything you have gone through or are going through. I schooled through my own depression issues. Got that under control. 12yo's major behavior issues...ongoing...likely needs therapy. Heck our entire family likely needs major intensive family therapy as a result of it. Not blaming the 12yo but his issues coupled with my bout with depression...recipe for disaster. It's summer. I need to re-group...again. Thanks for the advice. I think my head is currently in mid-spin and I just can't even wrap my brain around our current crisis. It still feels like one huge nightmare. :(

[Slipper]

We had a moment of crisis with our youngest this year. Her behavior had been off for quite a while and during therapy, quite a bit came out. She had major regression and has completely forgotten all of 1st grade. We're having to re-teach. Her therapy was weekly with a therapist and monthly with a psychiatrist. I have another daughter who is disabled and had lots of doctor visits. All of our appointments were an hour away as we're in a small town. My daughter's crisis caused me to have my own personal crisis (anxiety/depression kicked in). My middle daughter has Celiac, so I couldn't take shortcuts in cooking.

 

Honestly, we didn't do much school. We cut way back on math since my youngest couldn't do any of it and my middle daughter worked at a slower pace on her own. Putting the family back together was more important than schoolwork. (And, I saw my doctor and started taking medication for anxiety). I used lots of educational videos, computer games, reading books. I spent lots of time just enjoying the girls; swinging, cuddling, playing games. I also cut myself a break and I refuse to feel guilty for this year. It was a rough year. We're continuing with schoolwork through the summer to catch up in math, but everything else is on track.

[Sue G in PA]

Putting the family back together was more important than schoolwork.

 

 

This is exactly where I am right now. My family is and has been falling apart for some time. For so long, I wasn't in a place to deal with it emotionally...and so it only got worse. I had 12yo and his outward behavioral signs alerting me to trouble and so we focused on him. 10yo began with signs of anger issues and we added him to the mix of "children to focus on". Well, while focusing on the "squeaky wheels", I failed to notice a wheel that wasn't making any noise or acting in a way that a "wheel" shouldn't. Until recently. And it was nearly too late. And life is now a bit upside down and spinning out of control like some raging tornado on a path set for major and complete destruction and devastation. School is the last thing on my mind. Period.

[Spetzi]

You ladies are making me count my blessings today. Wow, you are one tough bunch!

 

The biggest challenge to our homeschooling was when our home was flooded last school year (Hurricane Irene). We were relocated and our beautiful year of doing Sonlight on the couch was replaced with a lot of commuting and time at Home Depot. Any way, we definitely slowed on the schooling, but I also just picked up some workbook/independent things for the kids to do. I also tried to get to the library a lot (which may not work for you). You may need to re-think how much you want them to do and how involved you should be. Can a friend or relative help with the schooling? Is it time for an online class or using Khan Academy to keep things moving if you can't be available?

 

Keep it simple and it all worked out (it always does!)

[Zoo Keeper]

. It's not a failure to adjust to reality.

 

 

One aspect of a different approach may better fit your life for a short or longer period of time-it's perfectly OK. If you just need to do a prepackaged school in a box thing for now, do it guilt free. Is video instrcution by someone the best option now? Do it. If your kids need more mom in the mix and you want to connect with them in school then get your Charlotte Mason on and read aloud and discuss a wonderful living book with all of your kids at once. You can change back later when it it's a better fit if it's a better fit.

 

 

 

 

This is good advice, and very well said.

 

We had a rough year last year--finances, emotions, health issues--we were stretched. And then stretched some more. I had to re-think different things about our school plans. Some things for my two oldest went on auto-pilot; they read the TM, they did the lesson, they checked their work. Did some things slip through the cracks? Probably. I had to choose what things I still could do and do well with the kids, and just let the rest get done, however and whenever it got done. I had to completely drop a few things for one of my boys. I will pick it up next year.

 

I give you permission to cut back, and prune some things from your plans. Sometimes pruning brings more fruit, even if the plant looks pitiful in the process. Growth will come, even if it does not look like much is going on.

 

I will pray for you and your family; God is at work, even when we can't see Him.

[Sue G in PA]

 

I give you permission to cut back, and prune some things from your plans. Sometimes pruning brings more fruit, even if the plant looks pitiful in the process. Growth will come, even if it does not look like much is going on.

 

I will pray for you and your family; God is at work, even when we can't see Him.

 

Yes. This. Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. I love the pruning analogy.

[Zoo Keeper]

 

Yes. This. Exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you. I love the pruning analogy.

 

You're welcome. I'm "preaching" to myself as well....

[mothergooseof4]

When late dh passed, I was only schooling one, with three babies/preschoolers. I was first of all thankful that the one that I was schooling did not have to go back to school after loosing her daddy. She would have gotten behind just from the week or so of going through the funeral, then had to be thrown back into "normal." Instead, we took off until she brought me her books one day and asked me to make her a to-do list. It was actually only a few weeks. I think the routine helped her.

 

After a bit, getting back into our daily routine helped us all. It was definitely never normal again, but it helped to stay busy.

 

A few years later, I went through a really rough time of loneliness and spent half my day in Bible study and prayer time. It is the only way I got through. By then I just had a 1st/2nd grader and two preschoolers, and while it didn't help him to have his mom so batty, it didn't hurt him either. He is now going into eighth. He and the rising 5th grader have some bad habits to overcome and need a bit more writing instruction before I feel we are caught up from that season, but overall, it hasn't hurt them. There is still plenty of time to get them were they need to be.

 

I experienced a miscarriage earlier this year, and I will say this threw me for a loop. It took me a couple of months to get my motivation back for school, but we should be caught up by early fall. Since we school year round, I am not really worried about it.

 

In a long term crisis, I would make some changes to our curriculum or any other areas that needed adapting. Cut back on expectations. Life is school, and learning to get necessities done around our challenges is part of it.

 

Prayers for you and your family.

[Suzanne115]

This past year was a rough year for us. It doesn't seem so rough compared to what some of you have shared. We had a house fire in May. No one was hurt. We weren't home and the dogs weren't either. Even the fish survived. We were totally blessed. However, it still turned our life upside down. At first, I wasn't sure I could continue to homeschool. I was totally overwhelmed with all the decisions that had to be made. We also had to go through and inventory our entire house. Most of our things survived, but many of them were badly damaged by smoke. Between the insurance paperwork, decision for restoring our house, emotional trauma from everything, it was difficult. I decided to enroll my daughter in a one day a week class. The class provided lesson plans for us to do during the week. I knew that if I just covered what was in their lesson plans, we would not be behind. It was a huge help to me. My mother got severely ill in April and it really helped during that time as well. I'm glad we can go back to doing school the way we used to, but the service of that school was very helpful for me this year.

 

Blessings for you and your family,

Suzanne

[Punchie]

My father passed away from cancer at the very beginning of our school year this past year. For good or bad, he and my step-mom were visiting (he shares a birthday w/my son), and after their birthday, his health tanked the following day. He passed away a week later. The last thing I wanted to do was to start school, but my step-mom was there, and I wanted to make sure she was busy, so I forced us to do it, and I involved her as much as she wanted to be involved (reading fun books, painting/crafts...that kind of thing). Forcing normalcy helped everyone cope.

[HS Mom in NC]

I was thinking about the fact that I introduced my terminally ill SIL's son to hiking with my brother's family and most of mine (my husband doesn't do outdoorsy things) because some people find being in nature healing. My nephew seemed to respond strongly to it. (At this point he doesn't know his mom is terminal-just that the doctors are doing everything they can for her.) Not everyone lives in PHX, so some of you have more opportunities for in the field nature studies like CM recommends may be an option for you.

 

I find nature calming and seeing God's creation as a reassurance of His sovereignty, power, and attention to detail. If you respond deeply and positively to nature too and you live somewhere that the weather allows for outdoor activities now, you might want to grab some field guides, watercolor pencils and watercolor notebooks, a picnic lunch, a flower press, and a bug jar. Pack up your kids and take them to see some creation and beauty to heal your troubled soul.

 

I'm working out every day so I can do a very challenging hike with my brother (one of my favorite people who recharges and inspires me) this fall to some very hard to reach Native American ruins. Then next Spring we're hiking the Grand Canyon's Havasupai Falls together. My marriage counselor asked my husband, "What makes your wife happy?" He told her one of the things was going into nature with my brother. She replied, "Then we need to work on getting her out to do things that make her happy." She is now on the list of things that makes me happy.

 

So, I ask you, What makes you happy? What recharges you? Can you work a little more of whatever that is into your life right now?

[G5052]

Not being flippant, but there are short crises and long-term crises. Sometimes you can take a week or two off and do fine, and sometimes you just have to buckle down and keep going. Emotionally that is tough, but your children are just as important as the crises you are personally dealing with.

 

We've never had a year without some big issue going on. A decade of mess amid homeschooling, as I call it. We had years of over-the-top eldercare issues, lost all four parents, executed estates for various departed relatives, and a member of my immediate family has extremely complex health issues that require ongoing surgeries and out-of-state travel. And I have maintained my professional career at some level. One of my "best buds" survived numerous health issues, a fire, a failed business, and a divorce while homeschooling. We keep each other going.

 

So for us, we pretty much don't miss a beat. My curriculum is chosen with simplicity in mind, and mine have been taught to manage their own schooling as much as possible. Good health habits and organizational skills are critical too.

[G5052]

 

Absolutely. Thankfully my issues have been relatively short term. But yes, if it was something long term, obviously I couldn't just take all that time off.

 

Although it seems the issues also happened when the kids were young and it didn't matter so much if I didn't do Kindergarten level work for a month with them. As they are getting older I don't like them to take a ton of time off.

 

 

Yes, that's been my problem. The crises effectively has never ended in the last ten years, so at a certain point I had to decide whether to put them in school or just streamline and tough it out. Locally, the high school usually throws out homeschool credits, so we had to commit and stay the course at that point.

[Courtney_Ostaff]

My husband lost his job at the end of October, I've been working through infertility problems all winter, I had surgery in March, my husband started a new job working away in April, and promptly developed a debilitating anxiety disorder in May--thankfully he was treated quickly and this week is is last week working away. Next week he starts a new job, at home, albeit with a 46% pay cut. My HS time with my daughter has become our "us" time, our time that we can enjoy & focus with each other, instead of all the scary things life throws at us.

[rieshy]

Our two youngest children have a genetic error of metabolism. Only the 7 yo is severely affected- 11 or 12 hospitalizations (I've lost count) in the last 5 years. Add to that the economic downturn which almost buried my husband and his business and we've had a lot of crisis to deal with. I went a couple of years getting no more than 2 hours of sleep at a stretch and one full year of an average of 4 hours total sleep a day because of all the medical needs of my son.

 

The following is only my advice. It may or may not work for you.

 

You do what you can. You let go of what you didn't do. That letting go includes letting go of all the things you could have or should have but didn't have the knowledge or the skill set or the money at the right time. It also includes all the things you should have or could have done if you had been a perfect mother/humanbeing/spouse.

 

You streamline and redefine the important things.

 

You get up and do what you can and are extra kind to yourself and extra kind to your family.

 

You let go of whatever pictures of perfection you may have had for your life.

 

You pray for grace and strength and forgiveness and you work through your anger and disappointments. You let go of feeling guilty about the anger. You eventually let go of the anger. You also drink a lot of coffee.

 

It does get better. It even gets good. It even gets great again. It's just different.

[katilac]

Mostly I like to keep on trucking as much as possible, for two main reasons.

 

One, a familiar structure and routine can be a godsend in times of crisis. School gives me something to focus on other than whatever is going wrong, and it reassures the kids that the world is not ending, kwim? You can drown in your troubles if you don't step away from them sometimes, and, usually, there is only so much to be done anyway. It's generally not useful to be in crisis mode 24/7.

 

Two, if we didn't school through crisis, we'd never school. It's not like our lives are a constant disaster zone, lol, but we have had quite a few moderate to major disruptions over our ten years of hs'ing. Yes, we might shorten or simplify, but we rarely come to a full stop. It's easy enough to overcome one unplanned break, but repeated ones pile up on you, and it can be discouraging to both teacher and students when it feels like nothing is ever finished & there's rarely straightforward progress (even if that's sometimes a false perception). Working, progressing, doing what you're supposed to do feels good; it can be a mental boost at a tough time. It can also be empowering when everything else feels out of control.

 

Having a plan and a routine (not necessarily a strict schedule, but a solid routine) is a big help when life happens. The kids have some idea of what they're supposed to do, and take comfort in doing it. We've always been able to just modify our own plans, but I would go to a boxed curriculum or other stuff I wouldn't normally use if needed.

 

Good luck; I hope the current crisis improves soon!