Jean in Newcastle Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 There is just so much that needs to be done. I could easily spend two weeks of 8 hour days on the finances and home business matters and filing before getting it really under control. I could easily spend an entire month of 8 hour days on getting the yard under control. Same for the entire lower floor of my house - a huge part of which includes our school room. The reason this would take so long is because some repairs and light remodeling is necessary as part of it. Our main floor would only take a couple of 8 hour days. Then I could easily take a week of 8 hour days to do make-ahead meals to make life easier. Such dedicated time is luxury I don't have, though. So what do I do? I get so frustrated trying to fit a bit "extra" in here and there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 When you can, you do something. A few times here and there, you push to get a project done that is possible to do. And close your eyes to the rest. Relationships are worth more than perfection of your home. At least that is what I say! When you have the time, there won't be any kids at home (they will be grown!). So, enjoy the kids and their lives. The rest will be there later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Go check out flylady.net -- she's great! Baby steps, housework (or anything) done imperfectly still blesses the family, lots of help and cheering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Susan said it well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I agree...there is only so much one person can do. Do your best and let the rest go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Do what you can do but please pace yourself out. It is a season, soon our kids will be old enough to help and it wouldn't always be this way forever. You need to take your health into consideration and not wear your self out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Another SusanC chiming in with a sympathetic ear. And the thought that you should bump that meal thing up on your priority list and see if that can help free up more little bits of time. Or at least reduce some day-to-day stress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
countrygal Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I feel like I have that load too... plus babies and toddlers. So there is no hope for me short of pulling all-nighters. Guess I know that all this stuff to do will be there when the kiddies get older as well. One day at a time. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I'm laughing--I thought you meant the preschool book SWB recommends in WTM. "What the heck? Jean has PRESCHOOLERS now?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 I'm laughing--I thought you meant the preschool book SWB recommends in WTM. "What the heck? Jean has PRESCHOOLERS now?" I wish! I was able to make that book work for us! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Wish I lived closer to you, Jean. I rock at housework. Yard work? Not so much. But, I could definitely rock out the house. Do what you can when you can. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrairieSong Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Honestly, are you sure you aren't overestimating the time it would take to do those things? I tend to do the same thing and get overwhelmed, but then if I just dig in, the dreaded tasks don't take nearly as long as I thought. Do what you can with the time you have. Prioritize. If you have 15 or 30 minutes or whatever, do what is most important, what will make the most impact. I hope your kids are helping you! They are old enough to do almost any chore, cook meals and clean up, do laundry, etc. Sometimes we do the beehive method when the house is a wreck. Everyone works in one room to pick up, put away, vacuum, and then move on to the next room. Sometimes we split up. It just depends on the day and what needs to get done. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Honestly, are you sure you aren't overestimating the time it would take to do those things? I tend to do the same thing and get overwhelmed, but then if I just dig in, the dreaded tasks don't take nearly as long as I thought. Do what you can with the time you have. Prioritize. If you have 15 or 30 minutes or whatever, do what is most important, what will make the most impact. I hope your kids are helping you! They are old enough to do almost any chore, cook meals and clean up, do laundry, etc. Sometimes we do the beehive method when the house is a wreck. Everyone works in one room to pick up, put away, vacuum, and then move on to the next room. Sometimes we split up. It just depends on the day and what needs to get done. Maybe I'm over estimating. But most days I don't have the stamina to do something for hour after hour so it gets hard to figure out how long things will take since it seems to take days and days. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Flylady may make you feel like more of a failure. I am a Flylady drop out and am not going back! Go check out flylady.net -- she's great! Baby steps, housework (or anything) done imperfectly still blesses the family, lots of help and cheering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Flylady may make you feel like more of a failure. I am a Flylady drop out and am not going back! I've gotten some good things from flylady - the crisis cleaning thing esp. But the daily stuff is not something that fits with my chronic illness needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted March 30, 2013 Author Share Posted March 30, 2013 Thank you so much for your encouragement. I just realized (duh!) that this is probably a rant more about not having consistent good health so that I can chip away enough at this stuff for it to make enough of a difference. I've been having a couple of good days where I have gotten some done and it was making me feel frustrated that the house etc. wasn't more ship-shape. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Do you have good friends you could call on? One of the things I realized this year is that my girlfriends really are happy to come spend the evening chatting and helping me out while we nosh on yummy treats. Really. When I spent May-November on modified bedrest last year, my bestie came and cleaned my house every Thursday. Other good friends came and spent a long morning or afternoon with me putting together freezer meals or finishing up other projects. We all enjoyed ourselves and it was great getting to see them. I thought it was just because I was on bedrest. Last week, my aha moment came. A bunch of us have been helping other friends deep clean or paint or pack.....I am helping them because they are my friends and I love them. It's not like they are having rough times in life....it's just really fun to get together and talk.... Would something like that work in your situation? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Grace. Extend yourself the grace you would show me. I know you, Jean, and if you were at my house, and I was saying what you were, you'd be gentle, encouraging, loving and patient. So, since I can't be there to do it for you, do it for yourself. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
serene Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 I hear what you're saying, and completely understand! :grouphug: I remember feeling like there was never enough time to get everything done when my children were younger, but I was also aware that was a season in my life that would soon pass. During that season, there were times I could push and get a lot accomplished when necessary. But now. . . Now, chronic illness impacts my life in so many different ways. This season will last the rest of my life. The tasks that need to be accomplished will always take more time & energy than I will be able to manage, even with help. Deciding what to prioritize is difficult. It's always a gamble on whether I'll be able to fulfill a commitment on any given day. Daily basics like showering, dressing, fixing my hair take up way more energy than most people will ever realize. Nevermind homeschooling, household tasks, dr's appointments and other outside obligations. I know everyone doesn't understand what my life entails, and most days I'm thankful that others don't have to know the same limitations I do. Rare days, some empathy is appreciated. So, the only solution I really have to offer is extending grace to yourself. You know you do all you can do to the best of your ability. That has to be enough; if others think it isn't, that's their problem, not yours. On the days you are feeling 'less than', remember you are *amazing*. You 'tackle' an awful lot everyday. You really do accomplish SO much, you're an inspiration! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted March 30, 2013 Share Posted March 30, 2013 Hi Jean, I don't know if you want practical ideas, but here is what I do when even extending grace won't do, in other words, the house needs attention and I can't stand it another minute! All of my family are home, dh works here, ds23 hasn't found a job, dd19 goes to local college and is in and out. The recipe for a disaster. Luckily, ds took over the dishes, he comes downstairs throughout the day and just does them. Dh empties the dishwasher when ds doesn't. Dd is useless with all her homework, lol. I can't clean showers, but my trick is to spray the foaming cleaner in and then holler for someone to wipe it within 10 minutes. Works every time. I also declare "house emergencies" and whatever time we have, anywhere from 30 min. to a couple hours, everyone cleans their guts out. Then, while things are not perfect, bathrooms are clean, floors swept and vacuumed, dusting done, and a reasonable amount of straightening up has happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 31, 2013 Share Posted March 31, 2013 Maybe I'm over estimating. But most days I don't have the stamina to do something for hour after hour so it gets hard to figure out how long things will take since it seems to take days and days. Baby steps. If you have 15 minutes,or 5, or 30 seconds, pick something and do it. Don't try to get the time to catch up or do it right -- this is perfectionism that will cripple you. Just jump in where you are work with the time you have at the moment, and pick something. These are basic Flylady concepts. Please do check her out. I'm what some would call a 'Flylady failure, too, but I don't consider myself such. Each time things get 'behind' I just pause for a rest break (I've put myself in time out, which the kids understand to mean Mom needs a moment), quiet my brain for a bit, and think on what I can do in the moment I have. I don't think beyond that moment -- all I need is one short thing to do to get me going. Once I start my brain figures out some more of how to break down the bigger load and tackle it. And writing the above caused me to remember that I find routine physical tasks very helpful for thinking. Because I am partially focused on something that doesn't require my whole attention my brain gets a rest, and can mull stuff around in the background. It can be calming. While a lot of Flylady tactics are stuff I had done piecemeal before I knew about her Flylady put it all together, added stuff I hadn't thought of, and provides reality checks. People who feel they've failed Flylady have missed the point entirely. Please just go look: Flylady.net. It's free, and takes no more time than visiting these forums. Start with the shiny sink -- just do it even if you don't get it. Sooner or later you will. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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