jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 can't believe i'm having to ask this but i'm at a loss here. 8 yo ds played at a friend's house yesterday and came home with a stolen lego hat in his pocket. he proceeded to come up with multiple stories about it, starting with one about how it was actually his from a certain set. i contradicted his every lie until he finally gave me the truth. friend had several, he thought it'd be ok to take one. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? i feel like a failure of a parent right now. if you've btdt or even if you haven't, i need some advice. he's apologizing all over himself to me and dh. i don't know the appropriate punishment. also concerned about him jeopardizing this friendship. aaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh. please talk to me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Don't stress. Many kids make that same mistake, especially young boys and Legos. Take him back over to the friend's house to give back the Lego hat and explain what happened. Ground him for a few days from playing outside of your direct supervision and have a good talk about honesty. It will be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Having been through almost that exact situation, I can tell you how we handled it. First, the theft. Not only does he apologize to the friend and the friend’s parent(s), but also he returns the Purloined Plaything PLUS several more – five or ten – of his own, which now belong to the friend. It helps if you and he each choose the pieces he’ll be forfeiting; otherwise he’ll give up the least important/favorite items and learn nothing. You will have to choose a favorite or two, and a specialty item or two. And he has to choose some too so he feels the sting a little more personally than if you just handed him a full baggie. Second, the lying. So much more difficult to deal with! I have given many guilt-trips as well as emotionless frank discussions about how lying affects trust, and I have tried to bring it up repeatedly for some time after a Grand Round of Lying. Everything you tell him to do – like put laundry away – you have to check thoroughly afterwards, and tell him that you are doing so because his word is not trustworthy right now. You have to make sure it’s something verifiable, though (e.g., not “did you drink your milk,†because he might have poured it down the drain and you wouldn’t know). In addition to the trust talks, he also loses a significant privilege. In this case, it’s Legos. You don’t have to take them all, but take a LOT, and tell him that because he is lying to you over Legos, he can’t have the Legos. It takes a lot more time and effort to regain trust than it does to lose it in the first place, and he will earn back a few items at a time when you are satisfied that he told the truth (about having put away his laundry, or whatever verifiable task you assigned). So: Assign – Ask – Verify – Return Items. Sorry this got so long. I hope it works faster for you than it has for me – but we have made quite a lot of progress, so I am hopeful that I will eventually see a young man with impeccable integrity! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 My eldest over the years has "found" things and decided to keep them, only to be caught every time by us. We quiz her royally until she confesses to who it belongs to, and then we make her give it back, explain how she got it, and apologize. As she got older she hated facing the person she had wronged more and more, and concurrently started empathizing more. But it took a few years for her to grow out of this and firmly learn the lesson. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 Don't stress. Many kids make that same mistake, especially young boys and Legos. Take him back over to the friend's house to give back the Lego hat and explain what happened. Ground him for a few days from playing outside of your direct supervision and have a good talk about honesty. It will be okay. that was my plan but dh said, he can return it when he sees him monday at scouts and explain/apologize then. he thinks i shouldn't drive him over there today and make a bigger deal in front of kids' mom. (actually they aren't home today, but... - before Monday). i feel a need for "punishment" but all i can think of are things like : take away legos for x number of days/weeks/etc..., go to bed early, no tv or computer. should it be all of those? one of those? for how long? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 If he truly feels bad, I think it is punishment enough. I wouldn't do any additional punishments or shaming. You want him not to steal and lie in the future because it truly feels bad, not because he fears a punishment. Kids do stupid things all the time. the idea of property is not well defined at this age as well. I wouldn't be freaking out unless it became a pattern. ETA: I took it for granted that it would be understood that the toy should be returned, and he should apologize. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I had a similar issue recently (hoping it's resolved). It feels crummy! But it is not unusual. Whatever you decide to do, be consistent for as long as you need to. I agree with returning the toy, giving the child some of his own toys, and putting the Legos in time-out for a memorable period, in addition to general punishment and lots of counseling. I have also checked my daughter's pockets etc. for a while in situations where she might have been tempted to steal; but I am not sure if this was helpful or just kept the focus on stealing. It's a balance - you don't want to beat a dead horse and keep taking the child's mind back to the idea of stealing, and yet you need to take it very seriously. Best of luck! (Sorry I cannot use the enter key! Hating this!) .... ETA: if this is your son's first offense, doing all of the above would probably be overkill. Returning, apologizing, and knowing why it's wrong are the main things. I would probably add an early bedtime or some such. In my dd's case, there was an ongoing problem, but your son may learn his lesson the first time. I hope so! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 so, i'd like a consensus on the return of the toy would you make it happen asap or is the next time they are together (monday) appropriate? is getting other child's mom and dad involved necessary/appropriate (i.e. should I be saying something to other mom or let my son handle it)? do you think my son handing over his legos to other child is the right thing to do and if so, how many pieces? this is so hard b/c it feels like such a reflection of me as a parent and i worry about the relationship with his friend and even myself feeling awkward around his parents! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 sorry double post?!?!?! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 The drawing the it out until Monday does give him a lot more time to think. During that time I'd have him buy (with his own money/or he has to work for you to pay it off) a Lego set to give to the friend.he stole from. That addresses the stealing. The lying needs severe consequences. Or at lease it would in my house. And of course that will vary from house to house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 that was my plan but dh said, he can return it when he sees him monday at scouts and explain/apologize then. he thinks i shouldn't drive him over there today and make a bigger deal in front of kids' mom. (actually they aren't home today, but... - before Monday). i feel a need for "punishment" but all i can think of are things like : take away legos for x number of days/weeks/etc..., go to bed early, no tv or computer. should it be all of those? one of those? for how long? {{{Mom}}} You haven't done anything "wrong" to create this problem. It is very common for children of this age to go through a "stealing" and associated "lying" stage. It does not suggest a trajectory in terms of life success/life of crime. I encourage you to not catastrophize this event. I also encourage you to not "engage" as you did with giving him multiple opportunities to lie. That really just created an adversarial tone in which you were accusing and he was defensive. It is age expected that he defend himself, with lies if necessary. Don't read too much into it. A better way next time is "This lego hat is not yours to take. Let's return it." I would not add anything to the issue in terms of punishment. I'd have him return the lego, offer an apology and get on with the business of being a young boy. All the punishment you list are not related to the issue, and likely to be counter productive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 The drawing the it out until Monday does give him a lot more time to think. During that time I'd have him buy (with his own money/or he has to work for you to pay it off) a Lego set to give to the friend.he stole from. That addresses the stealing. The lying needs severe consequences. Or at lease it would in my house. And of course that will vary from house to house. what is an appropriate consequence for lying? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AMJ Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Having been through almost that exact situation, I can tell you how we handled it. First, the theft. Not only does he apologize to the friend and the friend’s parent(s), but also he returns the Purloined Plaything PLUS several more – five or ten – of his own, which now belong to the friend. It helps if you and he each choose the pieces he’ll be forfeiting; otherwise he’ll give up the least important/favorite items and learn nothing. You will have to choose a favorite or two, and a specialty item or two. And he has to choose some too so he feels the sting a little more personally than if you just handed him a full baggie. Second, the lying. So much more difficult to deal with! I have given many guilt-trips as well as emotionless frank discussions about how lying affects trust, and I have tried to bring it up repeatedly for some time after a Grand Round of Lying. Everything you tell him to do – like put laundry away – you have to check thoroughly afterwards, and tell him that you are doing so because his word is not trustworthy right now. You have to make sure it’s something verifiable, though (e.g., not “did you drink your milk,†because he might have poured it down the drain and you wouldn’t know). In addition to the trust talks, he also loses a significant privilege. In this case, it’s Legos. You don’t have to take them all, but take a LOT, and tell him that because he is lying to you over Legos, he can’t have the Legos. It takes a lot more time and effort to regain trust than it does to lose it in the first place, and he will earn back a few items at a time when you are satisfied that he told the truth (about having put away his laundry, or whatever verifiable task you assigned). So: Assign – Ask – Verify – Return Items. Sorry this got so long. I hope it works faster for you than it has for me – but we have made quite a lot of progress, so I am hopeful that I will eventually see a young man with impeccable integrity! Oh, yes, the lying. Similar to this -- well explained, Miss Mousie! We also had lots of appeals over the years for "second chances", which usually failed when given. We have to institute immediate and undesireable consequences, and I remind them that when they've been given a second chance in the past they'd burn through it pretty quick, which in effect is another lie (saying something to get off the hook and not intending to follow through on the promise made). My eldest niece also went through a lying faze when young. She wanted a Christmas present that Santa left for a cousin, and so she swapped the gift tag with one of hers (too big to wrap, so it was obvious what they were). She tried to cheat at Candyland! After she seemed to have learned her lesson (parents caught her in many blatant lies and claims of property) I found her showing my youngest how to guess at Webkins codes on their website because my youngest had already removed and lost the tag from the Webkins gift she received. She was shocked when I explained that that was also stealing -- by guessing at codes until one works she is taking over the code on another Webkins critter in a store somewhere, and when another child gets it and tries to log on their code won't work because she had already taken it. I hated the look on her face -- she went quite pale -- but she started asking adults for help or advice when she wanted to try something instead of just assuming everything she wanted to do would be okay. She's just as inventive as ever now, but stops to think about unintended ramifications for a moment before proceeding. She'll be in high school next year (urp!), and is such a wonderful oldest cousin for all of the kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Just return it and apologize. Fini. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 Just return it and apologize. Fini. \ ok to wait til monday? or make it happen asap? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 \ ok to wait til monday? or make it happen asap? Mom? Please, breathe. Relax. You are over-thinking and over reacting to this. Return the lego ASAP at a time convenient for the family from which it was taken. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 Mom? Please, breathe. Relax. You are over-thinking and over reacting to this. Return the lego ASAP at a time convenient for the family from which it was taken. yes. i over think everything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 yes. i over think everything. :grouphug: Hang in there. I'd also rethink buying a gift for the other child. If the situation were reversed, would you want a child who stole to give a present to your child? I would've felt uncomfortable (as the parent on the receiving end). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 \ ok to wait til monday? or make it happen asap? As far as I know we only had this happen once, when our then four yr old took a shark's tooth from our pastor's house while we were there for dinner. We found it right when we got home and dh told ds that we'd have to return it. Since they lived so close we just went right back. Pastor was so kind to ds. Accepted his apology and forgave him right away! So little one didn't have to dread or anticipate or worry over the return. But there's a difference between four and eight. I might think about making a phone call to the mom and let her know the item will be returned asap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 what is an appropriate consequence for lying? IMO lying calls for the severest consequence you have available. Like I said earlier, that will vary from family to family. Opinions and consequences will vary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkyandtheBrains. Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Just return it and apologize. Fini. It is this simple. It can wait til Monday if you want. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 IMO lying calls for the severest consequence you have available. Like I said earlier, that will vary from family to family. Opinions and consequences will vary. For us it would be loss of trust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Try to separate your feelings, your embarrassment and fear of loss of relationship from what your boy actually did. What he DID is, fortunately or unfortunately, fairly normal for his developmental stage and doesn't warrant a freak out. Just handle it calmly and forthrightly at the most convenient time. This will build trust with your kiddo, so that next time he will not find it intimidating to admit a failure, which will decrease his impulse to lie. Handling it calmly and honestly as a parent will build your relationship with the other family as well. It will be okay. On the off chance that the other family freaks out and cuts the relationship, which sounds like is your fear, I'd say you learned something important about them and that they probably aren't the healthiest family for your kiddo to hang around. Relax and stay strong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 Try to separate your feelings, your embarrassment and fear of loss of relationship from what your boy actually did. What he DID is, fortunately or unfortunately, fairly normal for his developmental stage and doesn't warrant a freak out. Just handle it calmly and forthrightly at the most convenient time. This will build trust with your kiddo, so that next time he will not find it intimidating to admit a failure, which will decrease his impulse to lie. Handling it calmly and honestly as a parent will build your relationship with the other family as well. It will be okay. On the off chance that the other family freaks out and cuts the relationship, which sounds like is your fear, I'd say you learned something important about them and that they probably aren't the healthiest family for your kiddo to hang around. Relax and stay strong. thank you. may i put your number on speed dial? :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Try to separate your feelings, your embarrassment and fear of loss of relationship from what your boy actually did. What he DID is, fortunately or unfortunately, fairly normal for his developmental stage and doesn't warrant a freak out. Just handle it calmly and forthrightly at the most convenient time. This will build trust with your kiddo, so that next time he will not find it intimidating to admit a failure, which will decrease his impulse to lie. Handling it calmly and honestly as a parent will build your relationship with the other family as well. It will be okay. On the off chance that the other family freaks out and cuts the relationship, which sounds like is your fear, I'd say you learned something important about them and that they probably aren't the healthiest family for your kiddo to hang around. Relax and stay strong. :iagree: :iagree: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 {{{Mom}}} You haven't done anything "wrong" to create this problem. It is very common for children of this age to go through a "stealing" and associated "lying" stage. It does not suggest a trajectory in terms of life success/life of crime. I encourage you to not catastrophize this event. I also encourage you to not "engage" as you did with giving him multiple opportunities to lie. That really just created an adversarial tone in which you were accusing and he was defensive. It is age expected that he defend himself, with lies if necessary. Don't read too much into it. A better way next time is "This lego hat is not yours to take. Let's return it." I would not add anything to the issue in terms of punishment. I'd have him return the lego, offer an apology and get on with the business of being a young boy. All the punishment you list are not related to the issue, and likely to be counter productive. I think the bolded is important. I've found that lying is one of those things that, the more you focus on it and make it a big deal, the more it happens. MUCH better to not give them the opportunity to lie and to make sure that when they tell you the truth you're calm and reasonable so they know you're safe to talk to. Every time I made lying a big deal with my kids it got worse. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Just return it and apologize. Fini. Yup! Call and apologize and return the toy Monday. He's little and needs to learn - be patient and kind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I think the stolen item needs to be returned by your son ASAP. He should apologize to his friend and to me, that is enough for a first time offense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I think the stolen item needs to be returned by your son ASAP. He should apologize to his friend and to me, that is enough for a first time offense. ETA...returning a stolen item shouldn't be done when it is convenient. That sends the wrong message. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 well, his friend is coming over this afternoon. it will be taken care of shortly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I think the stolen item needs to be returned by your son ASAP. He should apologize to his friend and to me, that is enough for a first time offense. I agree that a "first offense" should not be all dramatic. My above post was probably overboard because my dd had multiple offenses. Off to edit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 Having been through almost that exact situation, I can tell you how we handled it. First, the theft. Not only does he apologize to the friend and the friend’s parent(s), but also he returns the Purloined Plaything PLUS several more – five or ten – of his own, which now belong to the friend. It helps if you and he each choose the pieces he’ll be forfeiting; otherwise he’ll give up the least important/favorite items and learn nothing. You will have to choose a favorite or two, and a specialty item or two. And he has to choose some too so he feels the sting a little more personally than if you just handed him a full baggie. Second, the lying. So much more difficult to deal with! I have given many guilt-trips as well as emotionless frank discussions about how lying affects trust, and I have tried to bring it up repeatedly for some time after a Grand Round of Lying. Everything you tell him to do – like put laundry away – you have to check thoroughly afterwards, and tell him that you are doing so because his word is not trustworthy right now. You have to make sure it’s something verifiable, though (e.g., not “did you drink your milk,†because he might have poured it down the drain and you wouldn’t know). In addition to the trust talks, he also loses a significant privilege. In this case, it’s Legos. You don’t have to take them all, but take a LOT, and tell him that because he is lying to you over Legos, he can’t have the Legos. It takes a lot more time and effort to regain trust than it does to lose it in the first place, and he will earn back a few items at a time when you are satisfied that he told the truth (about having put away his laundry, or whatever verifiable task you assigned). So: Assign – Ask – Verify – Return Items. Sorry this got so long. I hope it works faster for you than it has for me – but we have made quite a lot of progress, so I am hopeful that I will eventually see a young man with impeccable integrity! That sounds quite excessive for the op's situation. It was a Lego hat. The kid didn't exactly commit grand theft auto. And frustrating as I'm sure it is, this kind of boundary-testing is normal for the kid's age. Also, telling a child that his word means diddly squat over and over sounds like a great way to tear him down until he starts to believe that he's practically a criminal. I mean, these are little children, not hardened convicts, and continual shaming is never a good parenting tactic. OP, just have him return it and apologize. A massive overreaction would be a great way to ensure that if something like this ever happens again, he's going to make darn sure you don't ever find out about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 If this is his first time doing something like this, and given that he is so young, I really wouldn't punish him. Let him know it was wrong, and have him return it and apologize. The end. My son did that once at a department store at about that age when he saw a cool pair of train socks that he wanted. We went back to the store the next day, he apologized and gave them back, and he never did it again. He felt really badly, and he was embarrassed about the whole thing, and really, that was punishment enough. Our daughter, on the other hand, told little white lies starting at an early age and continuing for a long time, and that had to do with her just wanting so very much to please us. Once we got to the bottom of it, we were able to deal with it -- not by disciplining -- but by trying to understand her feelings behind it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lynn Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 can't believe i'm having to ask this but i'm at a loss here. 8 yo ds played at a friend's house yesterday and came home with a stolen lego hat in his pocket. he proceeded to come up with multiple stories about it, starting with one about how it was actually his from a certain set. i contradicted his every lie until he finally gave me the truth. friend had several, he thought it'd be ok to take one. ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!? i feel like a failure of a parent right now. if you've btdt or even if you haven't, i need some advice. he's apologizing all over himself to me and dh. i don't know the appropriate punishment. also concerned about him jeopardizing this friendship. aaaaaagggggghhhhhhhh. please talk to me! I think returning items and apologizing to whoever he stole from and the other person accepting apology is life lesson taught. Nothing more needs to be done. Consequences set and known for when it happens again should be set and followed through. Usually once is enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Mousie Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 That sounds quite excessive for the op's situation. It was a Lego hat. The kid didn't exactly commit grand theft auto. And frustrating as I'm sure it is, this kind of boundary-testing is normal for the kid's age. Also, telling a child that his word means diddly squat over and over sounds like a great way to tear him down until he starts to believe that he's practically a criminal. I mean, these are little children, not hardened convicts, and continual shaming is never a good parenting tactic. OP, just have him return it and apologize. A massive overreaction would be a great way to ensure that if something like this ever happens again, he's going to make darn sure you don't ever find out about it. You may be right; I don’t think I was quite that harsh when DS was 8, and by the time he was 10 or so these things had happened enough that I thought it was time I got tougher. As for thinking he’s a hardened criminal … well … if he doesn’t want to feel that way, all he has to do is stop stealing and lying, right? (Not being snarky – I just don’t understand how the bad feelings would come from my words but not his own actions.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackson'smama Posted March 28, 2013 Author Share Posted March 28, 2013 well, he gave it back and apologized. i could tell he was embarassed (i was watching out the window without him seeing me). i think the whole ordeal has shook him more than any punishment i could conjure up! probably shook me a little more than it should have too! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 well, he gave it back and apologized. i could tell he was embarassed (i was watching out the window without him seeing me). i think the whole ordeal has shook him more than any punishment i could conjure up! probably shook me a little more than it should have too! I think you handled it perfectly, and that your son was courageous for admitting what he did and returning the Lego hat. I'd be willing to bet that you will never have to deal with anything like this again from him, because he was upset and embarrassed about it. I would only have been concerned if he'd shown no remorse, and that clearly wasn't the case here. I hope you'll let him know that you're proud of him for doing the right thing, because sometimes it's hard and scary to do the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I think it's sometimes helpful to gently discuss the feeling of temptation, and how that can happen in all kinds of situations, and how to recognize it, and how to think through the feeling and decide what the right course of action is. The *feeling* of temptation is OK and something we all have to some extent, but the *actions* it suggests are often not a good choice. It's OK to see a cool LEGO hat and want it, it's not OK to actually take it - how to think that through, what to consider, etc. before acting. It's also OK to talk to mom & dad when you're feeling tempted, and they can help you think through your feelings and decide how to handle them. This kind of thing is *hugely* helpful in laying a framework now for the choices they will face as teens, when you aren't around every second to keep an eye on them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted March 28, 2013 Share Posted March 28, 2013 I would have my son return the toy with a written and verbal apology. He would lose his legos for a week. Id talk about the importance of trust and truthfulness and why it hurts when those are broken. Then we would move on. I wouldnt harp on it or bring it up again. This is his first offense, right? we all make mistakes. now your job is just to love him through it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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