mama2cntrykids Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 He's almost 12. His friend lives in Witchitha (sp?). They just moved there last summer, before that they used to live 4 miles from us. His best friends grandparents (also our neighbors) are traveling to Kansas (we live in MN) on Wed. and will be gone until Sunday. I totally trust all adults involved, my only hesitation is that my mom and grandpa will be here on the exact days that ds would be gone. I've spoken to my mom and she said to let him go and that it didn't bother her. I made sure that she wasn't just saying that because she knew it would make ds happy and she said she was being honest. He is currently sick, but if it's the same junk my dd just got over, it'll run it's course in a little over 24 hrs (he just started throwing up after dinner). So, wwyd, given the circumstances? I don't know the next time he'll have this opportunity, but my mama heart is already saying...what if...what if...what if...you know? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 As long as he is feeling better, I would let him go. I would let my DS go. There will always be what ifs...but what if he goes and has a great time and comes back in one piece? ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Personally I think seeing family is more important than seeing friends. I'd keep him at home with us if it were my son. But that is me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dory Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I'd let him go. With his friend living so far away an opportunity like this isn't going to come up every week for him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraciebytheBay Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Can he go another time? I know your concern isn't really that it's the holiday, but it would be mine. I am not one to be fearful, but I also wouldn't want my 12 yr. old to ride with someone else over a holiday. (Control freak much? :laugh: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would let him go, but if your gut is telling you not to, because you just have a bad feeling, then no. Listen to your gut. I wouldn't keep him home just because of family though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ. Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would keep him home and make plans to visit the friend another time. Spending time with grandma and great-grandpa is more important, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 Yeah, I am really still torn on this. We *may* be going there this summer to visit, but it's not for sure. His friend's mom (who I am friends with) wrote me and said it was her idea b/c her ds really misses mine. He hasn't really connected with anyone down there and he talks about my ds a lot. The boys DO talk on the phone. The best friends dad is military, so they move quite often. Sigh...I need to make up my mind! It doesn't help that I have reservations AND I'm an indecisive person to begin with! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
plansrme Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would let him go. Friendships are important, too. Will he see the grandmas at Christmas? They will be here in a month. I try to protect my children's friendships. Sure, they are just kids, but each of my 3 kids has at least one friend he or she had had since preschool and who, I am confident, will be a friend through adulthood. I love that and would happily give up a Thanksgiving once in a while to nurture those relationships. Terri Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LearningMomm Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I'd let him go too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbeym Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would be inclined to let him go visit his friend, as long as I didn't have any feelings of something bad happening while he was away. DH would probably say no though b/c he's more strict than I am and it's the holidays. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elisabeth in IL Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would let him go but my kids see their grandparents all the time. If they didn't then I'd probably keep him home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Unless he only sees those grandparents once a year, I'd let him go. That of course also assumes that he is a generally-all-around decent kid, makes an effort to stay in touch with his granparents beyond cashing their birthday check... KWIM? What wonderful grandparents to be s0 understanding of your son's feelings. For the record- we are the kind of family who rarely celebrates a holiday or birthday on its actual date anyway- so we're far more flexible in what we allow & do on holiday celebrations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 He doesn't see them very often. We saw them at the beginning of August and we'll see them at Christmas. He's sick right now, so that plays a factor in my indecisiveness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotSoObvious Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 No...sick kid, grandparents you don't often see, a long trip without me over a holiday. It just wouldn't fly in our family, but I could see why you would let him go if you did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rivka Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would let him go, but only if he's gone 24 hours without throwing up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would not. I couldn't imagine my kids not here for the holidays. But also I am uncomfortable with them traveling without me anywhere, and with anyone. So there is that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I'd let him go probably if this was a big opportunity for him and you weren't sure when he'd get to see that particular friend again. He will have excellent memories of the experience! Especially if he was going to see that family over the holidays. Over Christmas, I might be more reluctant. Thanksgiving is not a huge deal to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter are family holidays for us. No one goes anywhere except home to us :) . Is that possibly what is making you feel torn? :grouphug: its hard, but making time and room for family traditions and celebrations is important. ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LeslieAnneLevine Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 If he's feeling better and he really wants to go, I would probably let him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would let him go, assuming he's generally responsible and trustworthy and all that. Yes, family is important, but so are close friendships. When you're that age, a good friend provides something that family really doesn't. Plus, as homeschoolers, it's not as if we're short on quality time with our kids. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would let him go, assuming he's generally responsible and trustworthy and all that. Yes, family is important, but so are close friendships. When you're that age, a good friend provides something that family really doesn't. Plus, as homeschoolers, it's not as if we're short on quality time with our kids. ;) :iagree: I do feel as a homeschooling family that I do have a little more flexibility with this kind of decision. If we were a 2 income family and my kids were out of the house most of the time, I would most likely cherish these individual days the whole family is in the house. Our whole family is in our house most days and we're close. Being home a few days a particular week isn't going to alter that in any way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jujsky Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 Let him go. It will be a nice opportunity for him to spend a good chunk of time with his friend, and if you trust all the adults involved, why not? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 I would let him go. Your mother has already said she understands, you know that your immediate family sees quite a bit of each other...make this holiday happy for him and his friend. They are at an age where their friendships can be for life, give him that. I will say that I'm not to much of a family must be together person, particularly at Thanksgiving, so that colors my view. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 He doesn't see them very often. We saw them at the beginning of August and we'll see them at Christmas. He's sick right now, so that plays a factor in my indecisiveness. This is VERY often for us! My mom lives here and we see her weekly usually. All the other grandparents (3 sets) live within two hours and we see them yearly. So, if my pre-teen child saw their grandparent a couple of months before and would see them again in a month, but would not see his very best friend for a year, if that, and I trusted the family, I'd let him go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted November 20, 2012 Share Posted November 20, 2012 If it would be a really special time for your son, I'd let him go. Spending time together as family over holidays is important, but this sounds like a unique opportunity. However, I'd make sure he was completely over his bug before sending him. A sick child away from home is not fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 I've decided to keep him home. I just can't imagine him gone during Thanksgiving, especially at his age. Plus, he's still not feeling well. He's fine with it. I mean, there is a possibility of us going sometime next year, so... Thanks everyone for your feedback. Other people's thoughts help me sort out my own a lot of times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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