really? how hard is a checklist?

[ktgrok]

DS has a weekly print out with all his assignments on it, broken down by day. It is printed from Homeschool Tracker Online. He is to check off the box next to the assignment when it is completed. Sounds simple. but EVERY week when we go over it there are things that he did that he didn't check off, and things he didn't do that he DID check off, because "he was going to do it" so he checked it off. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That TOTALLY defeats the purpose of the checklist!!!!!!

 

Drives me CRAZY. I mentioned it to my ex dh today, Ds's father, and he just laughed and said he would have done exactly the same thing. Um..yeah..but you are near forty and live with your parents......not exactly the reassurance I wanted.

[Rhonda in TX]

DS (16) has been using the HST checklist for years. He really does do best with a checklist, but I think sometimes he sees it as a list of suggestions. Sigh...

[cin]

My daughter loses the checklist. :glare:

Edited September 29, 2012 by cin

[Lara in Colo]

I have grown employees that cannot follow a checklist :glare:

[Jean in Newcastle]

I now keep the checklist and check things off as they are handed in.

[SJ.]

Checklists are very hard, especially if you are like me and get side tracked resulting in forgetting that you even have a checklist.:auto:

[ktgrok]

lol...not sure if I'm reassured or dismayed that this may be normal behavior and continue! He NEEDS the checklist, loves having it so he isn't waiting for me to tell him what to do. And I get forgetting to check things off...just do it before you give me the checklist please. But checking things off he hasn't done, because he is "going to do them"? Sigh....at least now I know he is somewhat normal. thanks!

[mommymilkies]

Checklists are very hard, especially if you are like me and get side tracked resulting in forgetting that you even have a checklist.:auto:

 

:iagree: :tongue_smilie:

[happypamama]

We do workboxes. I put each subject for each child in a box, and I stack the boxes at each child's workspace. They can look at their boxes and choose one to start on; they know which things they can do on their own and which things need me. As they finish a subject, they put the box for that subject back in the stack on my desk, and anything I need to check in a box that is separate from the big stack. Then I check things off on the checklist -- which I hold.

[yinne]

Has my ds been hanging out at your house??? He does the same exact thing!!! Drives me crazy!!

 

Yvonne in NE

[LBS]

I print nice, happy colored checklists. I send him a copy of the checklist, so he can check it on his computer (and click on the assigned videos that go with his science and his history.) On a clipboard. Clipboard on the hook on the wall next to his desk. Written procedures for each subject. Notebooks, cubbie boxes for papers/notebooks/books for each subject on a shelf next to his office. His office in main open area of the home.

 

Checklist has holes in it, doodles.....it was huge improvement when he started just striking thru the items on the list. He can go for days getting done about 1/3 of his work. I heard myself say to him the other day that I would not give him dinner till he finished some things. Incredible. I'm becoming a nut. He has no motivation. He will be learning algebra as a 25 year old. He'll live here forever. I need to install a program on his computer that does not allow him to do anything but his work, no games, no Youtubes.......is there a program that will send me an e-mail when he erases the history? Can I lock his history ON till I check it. Then how do I punish him? Take away stuff. He's fine with that. He's a happy person, can read anything and be happy....no amount of yard chores slows him down.

 

Oops, I thought this was the thread about motivation, boy child driving me crazy, NOT doing his work, and me not having any idea how to get him to do what he is supposed to (stick or carrot.) I guess I need to go searching for those threads. ARGH!!!!

[cindergretta]

My ds18 sees any list as a "suggestion," like a PP mentioned. :glare: It drives me BATTY!!!!!!

[Thia]

Is it too big? Would a daily checklist be more manageable for him?

[Canadianmumof5]

DS has a weekly print out with all his assignments on it, broken down by day. It is printed from Homeschool Tracker Online. He is to check off the box next to the assignment when it is completed. Sounds simple. but EVERY week when we go over it there are things that he did that he didn't check off, and things he didn't do that he DID check off, because "he was going to do it" so he checked it off. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That TOTALLY defeats the purpose of the checklist!!!!!!

 

Drives me CRAZY. I mentioned it to my ex dh today, Ds's father, and he just laughed and said he would have done exactly the same thing. Um..yeah..but you are near forty and live with your parents......not exactly the reassurance I wanted.

 

We use the same concept here & DS11 doesn't check it off at all. It drives me insane. I hate having to babysit him on every.single.subject. Some weeks are better than others though......

 

My other 2 LOVE getting a little sticker on their schedule when their work is done for the day. It is a BIG DEAL to see which sticker Mom chooses. Obviously with DS11, a sticker just ain't gonna cut it.

 

I've just resigned myself to the fact that I need to watch this one like a hawk.....not fun.

 

(hope you & baby are doing well :))

[Ellie]

One of my closest friends cannot keep her life together, even with a checklist. Her children inherited her disability. Watching the three of them try to get out of the house at one time was exceedingly painful. One year her sons were given scholarships to attend the school run by her church; they were expelled by December because of the demerits they had accumulated for things like forgetting their lunches, forgetting pencils, forgetting homework. My friend had checklists ON THE INSIDE OF THEIR FRONT DOOR, which they had to look at as they went out to get in the car every.single.morning.

 

:001_huh:

 

I do not understand it, but it is so. People like that need to marry people like me.:D

[abbeyej]

Are you only going over it with him once a week? Many, many kids cannot handle that at this age. You may *need* to sit down with him at the beginning and end of each day and discuss what *his* plan for the day is and how he's going to approach, then, later, how that worked out, how much he *really* got done and whether he needs to erase or add any checkmarks. Try to ask open questions that force him to consider and come up with his own plan, but also ask specifically about assignments rather than assuming a blank or a check means what you think it means. If he gives any vague answers, follow up -- it may mean that he thought about doing something, but never actually did it. ;)

 

Really, I don't think this is unusual -- particularly at this age -- but it's *absolutely* worth coaching him through *DAILY* (not just weekly). Then you can catch problems quickly and redirect (or ask him how he's going to get back on track).

 

Some people just get this, and some people need (a lot!) more coaching. But I do think it's something he can LEARN to do -- just perhaps not as quickly as seems reasonable to you. ;)

[mommymilkies]

One of my closest friends cannot keep her life together, even with a checklist. Her children inherited her disability. Watching the three of them try to get out of the house at one time was exceedingly painful. One year her sons were given scholarships to attend the school run by her church; they were expelled by December because of the demerits they had accumulated for things like forgetting their lunches, forgetting pencils, forgetting homework. My friend had checklists ON THE INSIDE OF THEIR FRONT DOOR, which they had to look at as they went out to get in the car every.single.morning.

 

:001_huh:

 

I do not understand it, but it is so. People like that need to marry people like me.:D

It's considered an Executive Functioning disorder, and it's really not very funny. Not something we choose.

[Denisemomof4]

I remember those days with my sons.:glare:

 

Dd12 has huge issues with her memory so I cut her some slack. It is AMAZING, however, how much better her memory is when she's earning back her electronics (especially her phone) and time with friends. :angry:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Are you only going over it with him once a week? Many, many kids cannot handle that at this age. You may *need* to sit down with him at the beginning and end of each day and discuss what *his* plan for the day is and how he's going to approach, then, later, how that worked out, how much he *really* got done and whether he needs to erase or add any checkmarks. Try to ask open questions that force him to consider and come up with his own plan, but also ask specifically about assignments rather than assuming a blank or a check means what you think it means. If he gives any vague answers, follow up -- it may mean that he thought about doing something, but never actually did it. ;)

 

Really, I don't think this is unusual -- particularly at this age -- but it's *absolutely* worth coaching him through *DAILY* (not just weekly). Then you can catch problems quickly and redirect (or ask him how he's going to get back on track).

 

Some people just get this, and some people need (a lot!) more coaching. But I do think it's something he can LEARN to do -- just perhaps not as quickly as seems reasonable to you. ;)

 

:iagree: My ds15 has problems with this. His ten year old sister does not. It is more difficult for him but with compassion and patient teaching, he is learning skills and techniques to handle it.

 

What has worked for us this year is to put him first in the line-up of who works with me. As we have our daily "seminar" on the topic of the day, he brings his checklist. We spend just a couple of minutes looking it over. I don't take over ownership of the checklist but might ask questions like "have you figured out what order you want to do things today?"

 

Once we've gotten into his independent work part of the day, even though I'm working with his sister, every hour or so, I will ask him to "report" on what he's done. It's done in a friendly way and he responds accordingly. He knows that I'm helping to keep him on track instead of trying to find out if he's been goofing off, if that makes sense. That whole attitude of coming along side him is a huge improvement this year for me and has done wonders for our relationship. Because I ask him to report a couple of times a day, I have a mental checklist of how he's doing for the day.

 

Usually on Thursday during our morning seminar time, I will say "let's make a list of anything that hasn't gotten done in time." This is because Friday is his hand-in day for all assignments. This gives him some time to do catch up if he needs to. Even so, there are times when work will spill over onto the weekend. It did for us this weekend because ds has had a man cold.;) At our Friday morning seminar, we look again at the assignments due that day. For situations like today when work will have to be pushed off onto the weekend (a natural consequence that is not seen as a punishment), we try to make the weekend work as little as possible by getting everything that can possibly done on time done. All reading work has to be "handed in" by him specifically reporting what he has read.

 

Ds knows that I'm modeling out loud what he needs to be asking himself about projects and assignments in his self talk. This way, I hope to prepare him to be ready for college when I won't be there to ask him to report.

[marbel]

Are you only going over it with him once a week? Many, many kids cannot handle that at this age. You may *need* to sit down with him at the beginning and end of each day and discuss what *his* plan for the day is and how he's going to approach, then, later, how that worked out, how much he *really* got done and whether he needs to erase or add any checkmarks. Try to ask open questions that force him to consider and come up with his own plan, but also ask specifically about assignments rather than assuming a blank or a check means what you think it means. If he gives any vague answers, follow up -- it may mean that he thought about doing something, but never actually did it. ;)

 

Really, I don't think this is unusual -- particularly at this age -- but it's *absolutely* worth coaching him through *DAILY* (not just weekly). Then you can catch problems quickly and redirect (or ask him how he's going to get back on track).

 

Some people just get this, and some people need (a lot!) more coaching. But I do think it's something he can LEARN to do -- just perhaps not as quickly as seems reasonable to you. ;)

 

:iagree: We spend a lot of time working on checklists here. Now it's true that my son has AD/HD (inattentive type), and working memory deficits, so he may be more prone to distraction and forgetfulness than most. But we have to work daily or even hourly on checklists.

 

He's slowly getting it.

 

He has a daily planner in which he is to write all the things he's to do that day; we sit together and I tell him what to write. I feel like writing it may help cement it in his mind better than being handed a list from me. Then I remind him to check it off as he goes. He also has a medicine checklist as he is struggling with allergy-related illness and has to do various nasal sprays and such throughout the day. It will be a while before he has a weekly checklist!

 

Even my daughter, who has no such dysfunctions, has a hard time with checklists. She loses them, or says "Oh, I meant to do that, but... I ran out of time." (But her nails are freshly decorated with the latest trend from Pinterest... but that is a mommy failure, right?) ;);)

 

The good news is my son can use a checklist when it's something very interesting and important to him. When he is packing for a Scout campout, he has his list and he rarely forgets anything.

 

So maybe he just has to be a professional Scout when he grows up. Could happen!

[cin]

One of my closest friends cannot keep her life together, even with a checklist. Her children inherited her disability. Watching the three of them try to get out of the house at one time was exceedingly painful. One year her sons were given scholarships to attend the school run by her church; they were expelled by December because of the demerits they had accumulated for things like forgetting their lunches, forgetting pencils, forgetting homework. My friend had checklists ON THE INSIDE OF THEIR FRONT DOOR, which they had to look at as they went out to get in the car every.single.morning.

 

:001_huh:

 

I do not understand it, but it is so. People like that need to marry people like me.:D

 

This sounds like my oldest and me.

[Elinor Everywhere]

I print nice, happy colored checklists. I send him a copy of the checklist, so he can check it on his computer (and click on the assigned videos that go with his science and his history.) On a clipboard. Clipboard on the hook on the wall next to his desk. Written procedures for each subject. Notebooks, cubbie boxes for papers/notebooks/books for each subject on a shelf next to his office. His office in main open area of the home.

 

Checklist has holes in it, doodles.....it was huge improvement when he started just striking thru the items on the list. He can go for days getting done about 1/3 of his work. I heard myself say to him the other day that I would not give him dinner till he finished some things. Incredible. I'm becoming a nut. He has no motivation. He will be learning algebra as a 25 year old. He'll live here forever. I need to install a program on his computer that does not allow him to do anything but his work, no games, no Youtubes.......is there a program that will send me an e-mail when he erases the history? Can I lock his history ON till I check it. Then how do I punish him? Take away stuff. He's fine with that. He's a happy person, can read anything and be happy....no amount of yard chores slows him down.

 

Oops, I thought this was the thread about motivation, boy child driving me crazy, NOT doing his work, and me not having any idea how to get him to do what he is supposed to (stick or carrot.) I guess I need to go searching for those threads. ARGH!!!!

 

:lol::lol::lol: Honestly, I'm laughing in desperate commiseration....my ds is just now pulling out of the "doodle, draw, write, MAKE PAPER AIRPLANES" phase of a checklist, and now actually CHECKS the items off. Sometimes. He's almost 15! Grrr.

 

P.S. We recently put an Internet lock on his computer so that only my dh and I can sign him onto the Internet, and when we do, he has to use it under supervision. Sad that it came to that, but the boy just would not do his school work when Internet games were a click away.