elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Fortunately I got dressed early this morning, as I had a knock on the door. I hadn't brushed my teeth yet, poor guy. Anyway, I need a sign to put up. We live in a small town and we get the "save your soul" knock every few months. As we get closer to, um, fall, I bet we'll get the "save your country" knocks too. The school started back so there will be "save our schools" knocks too. I answer the door, we live in a small house, I can't and don't want to hide. Plus we have a pear tree, which may or may not have good fruit this year. People often knock to ask if they can pick pears and I don't mind those. Yes, please, take some. So I need something witty, but not rude. I know someone talked about them not too long ago, but I can't remember what they said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenMama Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 We've got a No Soliciting, No Trespassing, No Handbills sign up and it has been lovely. There are no more strangers knocking on the door - I always found that annoying and unsettling. There are no more things rubber banded to the door handle. That's a great safety boost for when we're out of town. If those flyers are hung on the door and a shady character notices they're undisturbed for a few days, they've got a flag that no one's around. We live in an HOA community, so we had to go with the 9"x3" approved plaque. If I had a choice, I'd prefer to get a small wooden plaque blank at Michaels or Hobby Lobby and paint an aesthetically pleasing version. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 "My soul is saved, my politics are firm, but everyone else is encouraged/welcome to knock!" That eliminates all but the schools, but hey - 2 out of 3 ain't bad! It's kinder and more gentle than my husband's sign: "Solicit At Your Own Risk," which has proven surprisingly effective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Oh I like that. Mine could read "beware of rabid atheist". :D but I think that would cause more to knock louder! LOL. OP - I'm glad you asked. We moved into a new neighborhood (a "real" neighborhood ;)) and I'm getting very weary of all the soliciting already! I hate to be a grump - but I just know it's going to get worse this fall. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 We've got a No Soliciting, No Trespassing, No Handbills sign up and it has been lovely. There are no more strangers knocking on the door - I always found that annoying and unsettling. There are no more things rubber banded to the door handle. That's a great safety boost for when we're out of town. If those flyers are hung on the door and a shady character notices they're undisturbed for a few days, they've got a flag that no one's around. We live in an HOA community, so we had to go with the 9"x3" approved plaque. If I had a choice, I'd prefer to get a small wooden plaque blank at Michaels or Hobby Lobby and paint an aesthetically pleasing version. That would look nicer than the printed page taped to the screen. "My soul is saved, my politics are firm, but everyone else is encouraged/welcome to knock!" That eliminates all but the schools, but hey - 2 out of 3 ain't bad! It's kinder and more gentle than my husband's sign: "Solicit At Your Own Risk," which has proven surprisingly effective. :lol: I saw one that said Solicitors will be eaten by zombies. Oh I like that. Mine could read "beware of rabid atheist". :D :lol::lol: My dog wanted to greet the young man today. Poor guy looked nervous enough already. I was wearing my "42" shirt. I should have told I already knew the answer. :lol::lol: Oh, why do I think of these things afterward? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Oh I like that. Mine could read "beware of rabid atheist". :D :tongue_smilie: I used to live within walking distance of a church that was big on evangelization. Their group would hit us multiple times weekly, and the frequency is what got to me. I can only say "No, thanks" so many times per day in my nice voice before my cranky, uncharitable nature starts showing! So I put up a sign that read: "Buddhists Live Here." Wouldn't you know that they starting coming MORE FREQUENTLY?!??! I suspect because now I wasn't just not-saved, I was REALLY not-saved! So I had to take it down LOL. :lol: I saw one that said Solicitors will be eaten by zombies. Oh this I like :D or along those lines: Soliciters will be screened by my motormouth preschooler :tongue_smilie:(they'd never get a word in edgewise, and I could prop my feet up, have a tea, and let my ears enjoy a rest!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brett_ashley Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 not my style, but this one was funny. http://livingwithlindsay.com/2012/08/nancy-drew-and-the-case-of-the-ringing-doorbell.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 So what was it? Was she stopping by to say hello? Or was she taking a cheap shot? Grrrrr My really good friend is devout in a denomination that is well-known for being aggressive in their evangelization efforts/missions. Not aggressive like gnarly teeth, beat you over the head; aggressive like, hitting the pavement night and day. She does exactly what you described. I've seen her in action. I no longer invite her to dinner parties ;). If I didn't know and love her, it'd tick me off. She uses her sweetness and any kernel of connection she has with you to lull you into a comfy conversation, then *WHAM* the proselytizing hits. Because I know her, I know she truly has these people's souls in her heart and that's why she's using any in she possible has. She feels that strongly she needs to do this. Your old babysitter was using that kernel of connection LOL. But like my friend, I'm betting she was also there to say hello and to catch up. Two birds, one stone, ... YOUR SOUL ... ::evil laugh::. I have to just appreciate the caring gesture. And invest in high-quality mouthguards from the teeth gritting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 (edited) There is a sign not far from my home that reads: No Soliciting Large guard dogs patrol the premises. If you must approach the house, remain in your vehicle and blow your horn. Wait for someone to come and escort you. Do not leave your car otherwise. Trespassers may be eaten. I do feel for the religious visitors though. Many of them are actually more in fear for their souls than excited about yours. I have talked with many who believe their salvation and possibility of a good quality afterlife or to be reunited with loved ones depends heavily on the number of actions they do at the bidding of their religious leaders. I would hate to live like that. Never sure about whether I had done enough to "get my ticket punched" or not. I'm sure that is why they work at it so relentlessly. We live in a different world now. I hate anyone invading my property and privacy uninvited. IMO, churches will do much better at attracting converts if they make themselves available (through community events, charities, etc.) than to continue the age-old practice of knocking on doors. A stranger in my driveway immediately puts my hackles up and makes me focused on getting them to leave, not at all open to hear what they are saying. Edited September 7, 2012 by hillfarm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Sadly, some people completely ignore the signs even if they're up! When I worked for a certain investment firm, I was trained to ignore said signs. But me, being the rule follower I am, ignored that bit of training. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Oh I like that. Mine could read "beware of rabid atheist". :D Well I have actually had more than a handful of people who thought atheists worship the devil :lol:. So maybe that would work. We have cameras that are visible and I think over time it has deterred people from knocking. We rarely get any solicitors anymore. Of course the last time the alarm system people came after 8:30 I kind of freaked out on them. The entire world may have heard me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 not my style, but this one was funny. http://livingwithlindsay.com/2012/08/nancy-drew-and-the-case-of-the-ringing-doorbell.html :lol::lol: I could put something like Solicitors will be asked to teach algebra. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 There is a sign not far from my home that reads: No Soliciting Large guard dogs patrol the premises. If you must approach the house, remain in your vehicle and blow your horn. Wait for someone to come and escort you. Do not leave your car otherwise. Trespassers may be eaten. I do feel for the religious visitors though. Many of them are actually more in fear for their souls than excited about yours. I have talked with many who believe their salvation and possibility of a good quality afterlife or to be reunited with loved ones depends heavily on the number of actions they do at the bidding of their religious leaders. I would hate to live like that. Never sure about whether I had done enough to "get my ticket punched" or not. I'm sure that is why they work at it so relentlessly. We live in a different world now. I hate anyone invading my property and privacy uninvited. IMO, churches will do much better at attracting converts if they make themselves available (through community events, charities, etc.) than to continue the age-old practice of knocking on doors. A stranger in my driveway immediately puts my hackles up and makes me focused on getting them to leave, not at all open to hear what they are saying. I try to be nice to the people who look really uncomfortable, this guy did today. But you know, I'm not a morning person, and I was in the middle of writing a test and trying to find just the write question in Japanese and he broke my concentration. Sadly, some people completely ignore the signs even if they're up! When I worked for a certain investment firm, I was trained to ignore said signs. But me, being the rule follower I am, ignored that bit of training. Bless you. :D Well I have actually had more than a handful of people who thought atheists worship the devil :lol:. So maybe that would work. We have cameras that are visible and I think over time it has deterred people from knocking. We rarely get any solicitors anymore. Of course the last time the alarm system people came after 8:30 I kind of freaked out on them. The entire world may have heard me. :lol::lol: There is now a big read X on the map they use. Don't go to her house. I have a "Educational Anarchist" shirt. I don't wear it out around here because I swear people will read it as "Educational anti-christ" and then I'll be subject to their rant of what a horrible person I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Many years ago I had one that said "No solicitors please, religious or otherwise." It was effective. You could alter that to "No solicitors please, religious, political, or otherwise." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 There is a sign not far from my home that reads: No Soliciting Large guard dogs patrol the premises. If you must approach the house, remain in your vehicle and blow your horn. Wait for someone to come and escort you. Do not leave your car otherwise. Trespassers may be eaten. Wow. Bet that works! I live in the boonies, and my neighbors have similarly straightforward signs. I've seen plenty of Guarded By Smith and Wesson, any number of Guard Dog on Duty Three Days a Week: You Guess Which Days, and the charmingly concise You Loot, I Shoot. I've met that last guy: he means it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 here's some fun ones! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belacqua Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 The Thin Mints sign is brilliant. I love that GS Cookies are an almost universal exception to no soliciting sentiments. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 Many years ago I had one that said "No solicitors please, religious or otherwise." It was effective. You could alter that to "No solicitors please, religious, political, or otherwise." I like that, simple and sweet. Wow. Bet that works! I live in the boonies, and my neighbors have similarly straightforward signs. I've seen plenty of Guarded By Smith and Wesson, any number of Guard Dog on Duty Three Days a Week: You Guess Which Days, and the charmingly concise You Loot, I Shoot. I've met that last guy: he means it. My guard dog will bark and then lick them. here's some fun ones! The Thin Mints sign is brilliant. I love that GS Cookies are an almost universal exception to no soliciting sentiments. I like the pirate one. The Think Mints is good, but we never get the girl scouts coming to the door and thin mints aren't gluten free, sadly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5LittleMonkeys Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Well, mine isn't fancy...thought about putting it in a frame...but it has worked. Since I put it up I haven't had anyone solicit. I've actually seen them come up to the door stand for a minute and then walk off.:D (I can see the front walk from my office window.) Here's a pic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Well, mine isn't fancy...thought about putting it in a frame...but it has worked. Since I put it up I haven't had anyone solicit. I've actually seen them come up to the door stand for a minute and then walk off.:D (I can see the front walk from my office window.) Here's a pic. That is good!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 Well, mine isn't fancy...thought about putting it in a frame...but it has worked. Since I put it up I haven't had anyone solicit. I've actually seen them come up to the door stand for a minute and then walk off.:D (I can see the front walk from my office window.) Here's a pic. Love it!!:D:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Some of those signs are hilarious. I almost wish I had this problem so I could put one up. :D I have only once had someone come to my door selling something, or proselytizing, and that wasn't at my current house but when I lived in an apartment complex. Even the sales for school kids is usually done through email or facebook. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Keep in mind I live in a very democratic town and during election season they come out almost daily. So ours reads- If your not Republican don't knock. This is also replaced during certain times of the year with- If your reading this, your in shooting range. I would go to another house, quickly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southernm Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 I guess I need a sign too. Just had a visit from a guy from "Urban Development" Thank goodness I closed the door quickly. After a little internet research, it turns out to be a scam. I can't wait to get a house in the country with a huge gate across the driveway!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
somo_chickenlady Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 At our last house (we now live in the middle of nowhere, so no one comes here) I just bought a "NO SOLICITING" sign from Walmart. You can get them just about anywhere, though, generally in the hardware section. That was effective enough to keep everyone away. At the time, I worked nights and slept during the day, so it was REALLY annoying when someone would ring the doorbell. Oh, that reminds me...my husband also disabled the doorbell, so even if someone happened to stop on a rare occasion, I didn't hear them. Anyone we were expecting to come over were instructed to knock rather than ring the bell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 These are great. I'll run them by dh, he may not want a sign out when he is home, he likes to chat. But at least something during school, I hate being disturbed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 We live in the country and get a lot of people asking if this and that is for sale (truck, tractor, boat, etc)... I've NEVER had the guts to go up to someones home and ask if I could buy their van. ANYWAY- what would work for these people to stop coming to my home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Awesome ideas. I particularly love the GS one. Well, I actually particularly love the GS cookies. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nmoira Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted September 7, 2012 Share Posted September 7, 2012 Lol, you ladies are making me glad we live in a ghetto apartment. No one comes around here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2012 Author Share Posted September 7, 2012 I should so put that one up, at least on Halloween. :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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