joannqn Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 DS10 and I spent the weekend at a star party (camping with intent to practice astronomical viewing) with the astronomy club we recently joined. We were all sitting around and schooling came up...a few times. One member who we've met at the few club meetings we've been to had homeschooled for a couple of years. Both the father and the 18 year old son adamantly believed that all kids needed to attend public school at some point. Why? Socialization. The 18 year old explained that if a kid is homeschooled all of K-12, they would be awkward and lack social skills once they hit college. If nothing else, they needed experience dealing with difficult people, like bullies. I was flabbergasted that someone who has homeschooled, even for just a couple of years, would argue the socialization issue. Meanwhile, I had only brought one of my kids with me...the socially awkward one. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 How does he explain socially awkward people who went to school? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Wow! I just read your post to my dd 15 who is sitting next to me and I asked her what she thought of the 18 year old's remarks. She said, "I think his logic is flawed." :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) That may be her experience, especially if she has an introvert who wasn't as happy as she would have hoped. I know a couple of hsing kids who seem to need much more than their family situations are able to provide. I don't know your friend's situtation, but as I have been hsing over a decade, *nothing* surprises me. Hsers are the same as anyone. They have their highs and their lows. I have met hsers whom I've thought should be sending their to school, and I have known schooling families who would be amazing hsers. I don't know the whole story your friend shared, or how she shared it, but I can understand things turning out in ways one did not plan. Edited July 23, 2012 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 It never ceases to amaze me how, people feel the need to let us know how we should raise and educate our own kids. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick_Mom Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Maybe he feels the need to defend his decision to stop homeschooling? Not that that's the way to do it, but he sounds like he needs to declare himself in the "right" camp. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
garddwr Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 How does he explain socially awkward people who went to school? This is what I always wonder when people bring up the socialization-so-they-will-fit-in issue. I have an aunt who doesn't approve of homeschooling because she has met homeschool graduates who are socially awkward. She brought up a mutual acquaintance as an example. Um, said mutual acquaintance is definitely socially awkward, but so are both of his parents--and if she is going to blame homeschooling for his awkwardness she had better blame public schooling for theirs! You can't have it both ways... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 You aren't going to be able to discuss the issue with some people at all. And you can't discuss the socially awkward argument in front of any of your dc, especially not the one who is awkward. Some people are just awkward and school will not change that. I would just agree to disagree and move on to another topic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 Hmmm...well, you could start laughing and act like they told a joke. Say, you are soooo funny! Bean dip? Disarms frustrating opinions quickly.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 My kids are different than other public school kids. Maybe that is what they mean? I see kids my kids ages and there is no hiding it mine are not like them. Even the child who now goes to school is just different than other kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I see a difference too. Not a bad difference, but a difference. Yeah I just got up sorry, it is not a bad difference but there is no hiding it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 My kids ARE rather socially awkward, if you go by the definition "fits into the social scene." This year, my middle child went to high school. He's 15, and definitely socially awkward. But his best friend, since age 4, has drifted away because friend is now with the pothead\skateboarding crowd. Ds misses his friend, but he's not in that crowd. When I talk to friend's Mom, I get the feeling she pities ds a bit! For his "social awkwardness." The kind of social skills that mean you will "fit in" and be popular in high school aren't always the kind you'd actually like your child to have. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I wear the difference with pride. :D I'm often complimented on my children. And I have yet to come across anyone with a negative opinion about homeschooling (that they've said to my face anyway). You are so lucky I have gotten plenty of rudeness maybe enough for the both of us. Yes I see the difference as good and I am glad for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laundrycrisis Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 My kids ARE rather socially awkward, if you go by the definition "fits into the social scene." This year, my middle child went to high school. He's 15, and definitely socially awkward. But his best friend, since age 4, has drifted away because friend is now with the pothead\skateboarding crowd. Ds misses his friend, but he's not in that crowd. When I talk to friend's Mom, I get the feeling she pities ds a bit! For his "social awkwardness." The kind of social skills that mean you will "fit in" and be popular in high school aren't always the kind you'd actually like your child to have. I know that homeschooling will make our kids a bit different. But what many other parents see as social success or fitting in includes elements that I do not want for our children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zebra Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 How does he explain socially awkward people who went to school? I know far too many awkward people who went to PS. I wouldn't dare blame it in on their public school education, there are too many factors to do that. It may just be that you have a certain personality, and it's stronger than PS or HS or WHATEVER situation you find yourself in. But, I do love how people like to blame any problems a person has on homeschooling. I have always wanted to march around with a t-shirt that says, "I am a product of the (city name) school system". To explain any bad behavior I might be displaying at any moment ;). You know, like homeschooling :lol:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 DS10 and I spent the weekend at a star party (camping with intent to practice astronomical viewing) with the astronomy club we recently joined. We were all sitting around and schooling came up...a few times. One member who we've met at the few club meetings we've been to had homeschooled for a couple of years. Both the father and the 18 year old son adamantly believed that all kids needed to attend public school at some point. Why? Socialization. The 18 year old explained that if a kid is homeschooled all of K-12, they would be awkward and lack social skills once they hit college. If nothing else, they needed experience dealing with difficult people, like bullies. I was flabbergasted that someone who has homeschooled, even for just a couple of years, would argue the socialization issue. Meanwhile, I had only brought one of my kids with me...the socially awkward one. :tongue_smilie: They aren't arguing the socialization issue, they're arguing that their experience is the only right one. I'd just smile and change the subject. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tiffanieh Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I have an awkward child and a "make friends with anyone" child. I homeschool both. Homeschooling didn't make the awkward child anymore than homeschooling made the social child. They are who they are, regardless of where they school. I also think that more of us homeschool BECAUSE we have awkward children. I know that my oldest (the awkward child) went to K and had a difficult year...it also was one of the biggest reasons we started homeschooling 4 years ago. Did not want him returning to 1st grade and struggle with acceptance. He was starting to hate school and that is NOT what I wanted for him. Little brother probably would have done JUST fine in school, but he gets to homeschool too now! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 You might be amazed at the number of homeschoolers who Just Never Get It.:001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauranc Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 You know what? He's 18... it's basically his 'job' to take a look at things with a critical eye. My 17 year old (always homeschooled) started to do the same thing this past year. We've had numerous discussions about whether homeschooling is good... whether it's ethical etc.. It's his way of sorting out his own thoughts. Initially I felt threatened by the discussions, but now I just listen to what he's saying and respond with my opinion when he asks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauranc Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 (edited) The 18 yr old has a valid point. Developing conversational skills, good manners, and interacting with people who come from other cultures takes practice. Hard to get that practice if the child rarely goes anywhere but church and home, where the cultural diversity nmay be insufficientl. A diverse public school is one way easy way to get those skills, and will help those who are going on to a diverse work place rather than a tour of the European continent post high school. :iagree: I agree with this whole heartedly. The homeschooled kids I've come in to contact with who literally only spend time with their family or with other like-minded people do come over a little awkward. And I'm not just talking about religious homeschoolers either. I've met quite a few unschool-y (dare I say... unparent-y) kids who only socialize with their own families and other families just like them--- I think they also are at a disadvantage. (and seem a little.... awkward) I see value in knowing and sharing conversation with many different kinds of people. It does prepare kids for a more rich and diverse life. ETA: Thinking more about it... I am not saying it is homeschooling that causes the awkwardness... but being socially 'limited'. Edited July 23, 2012 by lauranc another thought Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MommyK Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 I have four children, and we are pretty conservative and tight knit. My kids are well-behaved and do act a little different. We have not homeschooled. They have always attended PS. I have had a few people just assume we did based on their behavior. This behavior, is always POSITIVE behavior. What does this tell me? Good stuff is happening at home. We will start homeschooling this year (as soon as the rest of our materials arrive in the mail!) and I've had EVERY SINGLE PERSON that we've discussed it with, act seriously concerned over the "S" word. It makes me want to stick sporks in my ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted July 23, 2012 Share Posted July 23, 2012 That may be her experience, especially if she has an introvert who wasn't as happy as she would have hoped. I know a couple of hsing kids who seem to need much more than their family situations are able to provide. I don't know your friend's situtation, but as I have been hsing over a decade, *nothing* surprises me. Hsers are the same as anyone. They have their highs and their lows. I have met hsers whom I've thought should be sending their to school, and I have known schooling families who would be amazing hsers. I don't know the whole story your friend shared, or how she shared it, but I can understand things turning out in ways one did not plan. :iagree::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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