GoVanGogh Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 What if your spouse works crazy hours and is never home at the same time two nights in a row? After 25 years of marriage, I am tired of making supper at 5:30 one night, 7:30 the next, 6 the next, etc. DH commutes about 40 minutes. He calls as he is leaving work and I start supper then, so it is ready when he gets home. I went on a cooking break (everyone fend for yourselves and eat when you are hungry) a while back and I loved eating at the same time every day. I really want to start eating my final meal of the day at a set time, instead of it fluctuating so wildly from night to night. But I also want to eat together as a family. What works for you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BinahYeteirah Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We have dinner every weeknight at the same time, no matter when dh gets home. The kids need a predictable schedule, so this works for us. Dh sometimes doesn't get home until 11 pm or 12 am, so, obviously, we can't wait that long. Even on his early nights, he's not home until around 7:30 or 8:00 at the earliest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NASDAQ Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Dinner goes on the table at six. Late-comers can warm it up in the oven. If dinner doesn't happen at six, then bedtime is delayed, and if mummy can't get off duty by eight then no one is going to be happy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We don't, but it is based on my schedule and ds's extra curriculars as much as dh's schedule. He works crazy hours and sometimes doesn't get home until very late, so we don't wait for him to eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We eat later (usually 7:00-8:00). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ssavings Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We have dinner every weeknight at the same time, no matter when dh gets home. The kids need a predictable schedule, so this works for us. Dh sometimes doesn't get home until 11 pm or 12 am, so, obviously, we can't wait that long. Even on his early nights, he's not home until around 7:30 or 8:00 at the earliest. :iagree: Same here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Yes. No. Depends. :D The first 12 years, yes, because Mr. Ellie came home at the same time every night, and we like to eat early and be done with it. The 16 years we spent in San Jose, no. The first job took him all over the Bay Area and I never knew what time he'd be home, and I don't cook dinner just for me and the dc (we snack big time when he's not home, lol); the second job was 7/24, and he could be walking out the door and be called back in. Our first few years here, no, for the same reason. Since then it's been all over the place. I SO prefer him to be home at the same time, although I've become pretty good at choosing meals that I can start after he walks in the door and have food on the table within half an hour. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 On the nights that we eat dinner together, the meal happens within a relatively narrow window of between 5:30 and 6:30. In other words, if at least three of the four of us are going to be home at a normal dinner time, I serve dinner then. If not, "dinner" becomes a more casual affair. If, for example, I'm out of the house taking a kid to a rehearsal and will be gone for more than a couple of hours that overlap the usual dinner time, I might tell the kids to make themselves something and then prep something simple (a plate of sandwich fixings, a burrito, etc.) for my husband to microwave when he's hungry. On weekends, we might have a late lunch together and then skip dinner in favor of snacks while watching a movie. But, if there's going to be a traditional dinner, it happens at a pretty traditional time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We have dinner every weeknight at the same time, no matter when dh gets home. The kids need a predictable schedule, so this works for us. Dh sometimes doesn't get home until 11 pm or 12 am, so, obviously, we can't wait that long. Even on his early nights, he's not home until around 7:30 or 8:00 at the earliest. :iagree: Dh joins us when he can, obviously on the weekends, but we don't eat dinner around his schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I serve dinner at a certain time every night (within about 15 min. for cooking leeway). If dh is here he joins us. If he is a tad bit late then he joins us. If he has to go early and he lets me know, then I will serve dinner a bit early (this hardly ever happens). If he's late then he can heat up what I served later and eat it. Part of our situation though is that we have sports after dinner so we have to get done in time for me to take the kids to their activities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodhaven Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 That is a difficult situation. Ours is similar. We eat late - 8:00 pm - because my dh usually works late and has a 45 minute commute (on good days). But if he is going to be later than that, we just go ahead with dinner. Dh really wants us to at least have one meal a day together as a family around the table, and I agree. So we try. But it doesn't always work and we go ahead without him, but it is scheduled late enough that he is here 90-95 percent of the time. Sometimes he is home as early as 6:30, but we still eat late. "I" need a schedule to work with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 (edited) I try to work dinner around everyone's schedules as much as possible. For us, that means dinner around 6:30 - 7 pm. This is fine for us because my kids don't need to be in bed by 8 pm. When they were younger, heck yeah, dinner was earlier! My husband generally has been able to be home for diner during that time. Sometimes he has to fly back out for a meeting. My kids and I have few obligations in the evening. Scouts starts at 7:30; husband's meetings usually start either 7 or 7:30. Well, he's unemployed now, so not having meetings anymore - I keep forgetting that! We don't do sports, and that's OK with me - I hated 6:00 practices. Actually I try to avoid any evening activity that starts before 7:00. Our church tends to start the women's events at 6:30 and I just don't go, or show up late if it's something I want to do. I don't get their thinking, starting something that close to most peoples' dinnertime. Edited July 12, 2012 by marbel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Nope. I cook when I have time, so dinner revolves around my schedule and no one else's. Dh works from home, so we are all 5 together in the house most of the time, so his "arrival time" is not an issue. When dinner is ready, everyone can eat, only those who are hungry at the moment can eat, or everyone can postpone eating until later. I don't "serve" dinner. I make it, it stays on the stove, and each family member fills his/her plate as necessary. Typically, I have tutoring students until 5:30 on weekdays, and often I want a short break after that, plus ds has karate and soccer, etc., so dinner usually isn't ready until 8pm or so. Lately, though, dh and I have been taking a 40 minute walk just before sunset, so I've been trying to finish cooking by 7pm. The kids might eat while we're out walking, or we all eat upon our return (usual time). Even when dh had a 9-5 job, he wasn't one to expect dinner on the table upon his arrival, so we never ate before 7pm. I just can't make myself think about starting dinner before 5pm. To me, dinner is the culmination of the day, and cooking any earlier than that shortens the day in my mind, if that makes any sense. I also don't make a big deal out of eating together around the table. We are literally all together, all day, every day. We each take advantage of meal time to do our own thing (read, internet, TV) and have a break from "family interaction" for a short time. It works for us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 I try to have dinner ready by 6p. Then there are evenings like tonight when dh leaves to go on a fire call (barn burning) at 5:22. He might not be home until 9 this evening. It is hot and I'm not cooking now. It is almost 6:30 and dd is in the shower. We will eat what we find and dh can have something when he gets home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We usually eat between 5/5:30. Dh is usually always home by 5pm, but if he wasn't I would probably adjust dinner to fit his schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 then if he gets home earlier, great. He can have a snack and a drink, hang out with the kids, chat with you while you cook, etc. But if dinner is always at 7:30 and he is almost always home by then, it works. My husband had erratic evening hours, and when he does leave work early, it's often so that he can go to an art class or play tennis. And my kids also have evening activities, so some nights we don't eat together. Other nights, we do, but it's almost always on the late side during the school year. It doesn't bother me. I put out healthy snacks for people who are home and are having trouble waiting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happyhomemaker Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 Yes. Dh works retail hours so his schedule is different just about every night. If he's not here when dinner is ready (around 6:30-7), I make him a plate to heat up later. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We have dinner at 5pm every night. Usually dh is home by then, sometimes I put his plate in the micro until he gets home. We have evening activities 4-5 nights a week. They all start around 6 and don't like to eat at 8pm. We start our days early here, so eathing dinner at 5 is fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acablue Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We're pretty flexible about dinner time. I usually wait until SO is home to start cooking, but if it's too late I'll go ahead and feed the kids. I always hold off so we can eat together. We still make it a "family dinner" by having the kids eat their dessert while we eat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiniBlondes Posted July 12, 2012 Share Posted July 12, 2012 We used to be very random about dinner. It was never planned, never thought about. Suddenly it's 7 and we need food. McDonalds! About a year ago we decided to be more organized about it. Meal plans and all that. DH is home from work at 6 every evening. I try to have dinner ready but 6:15 or 6:30 at the latest. Our lives are so much smoother this way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 We've always had a regular time for dinner. Even when dh worked erratic hours and I never knew when he might be home I made dinner and fed the kids around the same time. Now, I strive for dinner to be ready around 6pm. I like to be "done" with my day after dinner so I don't want to be cleaning up later in the evening. We are more flexible in the summer though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 We eat whenever it's convenient for everyone who's going to be there. This means supper can vary from 4pm to 10pm and it doesn't bother me in the least. It's never bothered my kids either. If one gets hungry earlier - or later - there are snacks around. What does bother me is when I go places (like my in-laws) where supper has to be between 5 and 6 pm even if people are having fun doing other things... It seems a shame to break off what was being done just to eat - esp when people aren't hungry then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted July 13, 2012 Share Posted July 13, 2012 We eat dinner as a family on weekends. Dh's work schedule is too unpredictable and the kids are hungry by 6pm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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