HELP !!! I am being verbally harassed :( (long & fussy)

[kricau]

Ok, so I have some stuff for sale on this website. Well, I also had other stuff for sale on eBay. A lady bought one of the ebay items then contacted me and asked if I had any more school related items for sale. So I gave her the link to this website. I assumed she would realize that this in NOT eBay and the eBay rules do not apply here.

 

She emailed me (over a three day period) saying things like she was interested in a certain book, but asked a ton of questions about it. I would email her back and answer her questions. I was starting to get a little annoyed as I was not sure if she was actually going to buy anything, and was just using me to get a bunch of info about the books.

 

So last night I got another email saying that a book had sold on Amazon. I had completly fogot that awhile back (before eBay or here) I had tried to sell on Amazon. So I email her and tell her that the book has sold, "sorry".

She writes back all irrate that I sold it "right out from under her". I appologized (again) and told her that I had forgotten about it being on Amazon. I did not say (but I wanted to) that she had never said for sure that she was buying anything. And that untill something is paid for it is still up for grabs. She emailed me again, more complaints "refund the buyer and sell to me". Yada-yada.... I emailed her back and told her I didn't like where this was going and I have apologized several times. But it needs to be over with. I even offered to refund her money for the book she DID buy on eBay if she didn't want to deal with me.

 

So here is my questions : What would you have done? Am I totally in the wrong here? Please speak freely.

[gingersmom]

I would send her emails to spam. :001_smile:

[oasis]

I think it's "too bad, so sad" for her; she should've bought it right away if she wanted your copy so much!

 

If she's already paid for her eBay book, I'd send that right away, then block her user ID on eBay.

 

After that, I'd totally ignore any communication she sent.

 

If she gives you a negative feedback on eBay, I'd contact eBay directly. They'll sometimes (although very rarely!) delete feedback that isn't fair.

 

Good luck with the eBay feedback; I don't think you did anything wrong at all. It isn't like you oversold the same item!

[Jean in Newcastle]

She's a whackadoodle. You have no moral obligation to her. You have no legal obligation to her.

[Soror]

I think it's "too bad, so sad" for her; she should've bought it right away if she wanted your copy so much!

 

If she's already paid for her eBay book, I'd send that right away, then block her user ID on eBay.

 

After that, I'd totally ignore any communication she sent.

 

If she gives you a negative feedback on eBay, I'd contact eBay directly. They'll sometimes (although very rarely!) delete feedback that isn't fair.

 

Good luck with the eBay feedback; I don't think you did anything wrong at all. It isn't like you oversold the same item!

 

:iagree:

[kricau]

Thank you :) I am glad that you three think I am not in the wrong :)

[kricau]

I am starting to realize this :(

Nothing you can do. I don't even sell books anymore because I don't want to deal with stuff like this. I also don't buy books from individuals. I've never made enough money to justify the aggravation.

[NorthwestMom]

She is wrong. Your line is, "This is a business transaction. The item was for sale until somebody bought it, and someone did. I do not hold items for potential buyers. It seems you will be happier buying from someone else in the future."

 

I would not have offered her money back on the other item, but if she asks for it, send it to her and then don't deal with her again. She is going to be trouble.

[DusksAngel]

She is wrong. Your line is, "This is a business transaction. The item was for sale until somebody bought it, and someone did. I do not hold items for potential buyers. It seems you will be happier buying from someone else in the future."

 

I would not have offered her money back on the other item, but if she asks for it, send it to her and then don't deal with her again. She is going to be trouble.

:iagree: After that, just send her emails to the spam/trash.

[LaxMom]

I'm sure a LOT of books are dual-listed on various sites. I've had transactions canceled on Amazon Marketplace with "sorry, that title is no longer available" on occasion. The only time I've been annoyed is when it's taken several days to be notified. It's just one of the "risks" you take when buying from private sellers. No harm done.

[kricau]

Thank you. Yes, I am worried about her eBay feedback. She also (in another email) asked me to be sure and wrap her book "very well, in a box if possible". So I am worried she is going to use any excuse on the Ebay side to give me negetive feedback. I did wrap the book VERY well. In saran wrap with cardboard on both side in a bubble mailer. I couldn't find a box that would work :(

 

Yes, I will be contacting eBay if she does leave negetive feedback. But I am worried they won't do anything because her emails were directly to me, instead of on eBay.

 

I will definatley be blocking her, thanks for the suggestion :)

 

Yes, it is in the mail. But I told her if she didn't want to go through with it to email me right away and I will take it out. I would rather loss the sale than have to keep dealing with her :(

 

 

I think it's "too bad, so sad" for her; she should've bought it right away if she wanted your copy so much!

 

If she's already paid for her eBay book, I'd send that right away, then block her user ID on eBay.

 

After that, I'd totally ignore any communication she sent.

 

If she gives you a negative feedback on eBay, I'd contact eBay directly. They'll sometimes (although very rarely!) delete feedback that isn't fair.

 

Good luck with the eBay feedback; I don't think you did anything wrong at all. It isn't like you oversold the same item!

[kricau]

Yeah, I did too and I was very bummed :( Taht is why I WILL NOT refund the buyer and do that to her/him. If she would have paid first I would have explained it to the other guy. I believe in first come first served,and that means paid first the book is yours :)

 

 

I'm sure a LOT of books are dual-listed on various sites. I've had transactions canceled on Amazon Marketplace with "sorry, that title is no longer available" on occasion. The only time I've been annoyed is when it's taken several days to be notified. It's just one of the "risks" you take when buying from private sellers. No harm done.

[kricau]

:iagree:

She is wrong. Your line is, "This is a business transaction. The item was for sale until somebody bought it, and someone did. I do not hold items for potential buyers. It seems you will be happier buying from someone else in the future."

 

I would not have offered her money back on the other item, but if she asks for it, send it to her and then don't deal with her again. She is going to be trouble.

[Davysmom]

The only thing you did wrong was apologize. :tongue_smilie:

 

She is completely wrong!

 

I would say ebay is even more strict on the fact that no matter what you are doing communication wise the first one with the money gets the goods. You did nothing wrong at all!

[kricau]

This is what she just emailed me:

 

"I am again disappointed with customer service. This has been a poor transaction and there is no question of integrity. I mentioned ebay because you offered them to me before listing them again on ebay, but then sold them elsewhere.

 

 

You need not reply."

[kricau]

So I went into the eBay message and wrote her this (just so it will be covered incase of negetive feedback):

 

"In response to your emails to my direct email address. I would like to offer you a full refund and transaction cancelation on this book. If you are unsatisfied with my customer service ???

Thank you, Kristy"

 

I hope that will be the end of it :(

[Forget-Me-Not]

I would simply refund her money at this point, re-list the book she bought and refuse all further communication with her.

[kricau]

:lol:

The only thing you did wrong was apologize. :tongue_smilie:

 

She is completely wrong!

 

I would say ebay is even more strict on the fact that no matter what you are doing communication wise the first one with the money gets the goods. You did nothing wrong at all!

[kricau]

Well I want to do that . But she will still be able to leave me negetive feedback if I do :(

 

I would simply refund her money at this point, re-list the book she bought and refuse all further communication with her.

[TranquilMind]

She writes back all irrate that I sold it "right out from under her". I appologized (again) and told her that I had forgotten about it being on Amazon. I did not say (but I wanted to) that she had never said for sure that she was buying anything. And that untill something is paid for it is still up for grabs. She emailed me again, more complaints "refund the buyer and sell to me". Yada-yada.... I emailed her back and told her I didn't like where this was going and I have apologized several times. But it needs to be over with. I even offered to refund her money for the book she DID buy on eBay if she didn't want to deal with me.

 

So here is my questions : What would you have done? Am I totally in the wrong here? Please speak freely.

 

Well, the only thing you are "wrong" about is offering to refund money for a different book just because she didn't buy the one she was asking you about! You are WAY too nice.

 

First one with the cash gets it. Period. That's the way life works. If she chose not to pull the trigger, then she loses out. It is not your fault that she was indecisive. Absolutely DO tell her that she chose to interrogate you about the book rather than buy it, and someone else bought it. Then don't talk to her any more.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Well I want to do that . But she will still be able to leave me negetive feedback if I do :(

 

How much positive feedback do you have? I rarely use ebay, but if I encounter someone with, say, 99 positive reviews and 1 negative review, I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the negative reviewer was likely at fault somehow.

[TranquilMind]

So I went into the eBay message and wrote her this (just so it will be covered incase of negetive feedback):

 

"In response to your emails to my direct email address. I would like to offer you a full refund and transaction cancelation on this book. If you are unsatisfied with my customer service ???

Thank you, Kristy"

 

I hope that will be the end of it :(

You should outline the transaction and what her unreasonable expectation was, not just say something vague like this, which suggests you could be guilty of bad customer service.

 

I'd say something like, "On X (date), customer inquired about X. Customer had multiple, in-depth questions about (fill in the blank) and a series of emails transpired between X date and time and X date and time. While customer was in the midst of the interrogation about the item, it sold on Amazon. Customer is angry that she did not purchase the item before it sold, which is in no way a customer service issue. The first person who purchases the item is entitled to it, not a person who is merely asking multiple questions about the item."

[Cricket]

How much positive feedback do you have? I rarely use ebay, but if I encounter someone with, say, 99 positive reviews and 1 negative review, I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the negative reviewer was likely at fault somehow.

 

Absolutely! I also think you were too nice. Don't worry about negative eBay feedback. Since she paid for the eBay book I'd send that but no longer deal with her. Well, after I sent her an email telling her what I thought.

Edited July 9, 2012 by Cricket

[elegantlion]

She's a whackadoodle. You have no moral obligation to her. You have no legal obligation to her.

 

Jean, you should put that in your signature so we can just refer to it as necessary, which seems like a lot lately.

 

You should outline the transaction and what her unreasonable expectation was, not just say something vague like this, which suggests you could be guilty of bad customer service.

 

I'd say something like, "On X (date), customer inquired about X. Customer had multiple, in-depth questions about (fill in the blank) and a series of emails transpired between X date and time and X date and time. While customer was in the midst of the interrogation about the item, it sold on Amazon. Customer is angry that she did not purchase the item before it sold, which is in no way a customer service issue. The first person who purchases the item is entitled to it, not a person who is merely asking multiple questions about the item."

 

:iagree: Be very specific about dates and level of communication.

 

I will also overlook negative feedback on amazon or e-bay if everything else seems to be in order.

[LaxMom]

You should outline the transaction and what her unreasonable expectation was, not just say something vague like this, which suggests you could be guilty of bad customer service.

 

I'd say something like, "On X (date), customer inquired about X. Customer had multiple, in-depth questions about (fill in the blank) and a series of emails transpired between X date and time and X date and time. While customer was in the midst of the interrogation about the item, it sold on Amazon. Customer is angry that she did not purchase the item before it sold, which is in no way a customer service issue. The first person who purchases the item is entitled to it, not a person who is merely asking multiple questions about the item."

 

Indeed. I appreciate seeing updates to the odd negative feedback for sellers. It suggests they actually DO care about providing good service.

 

I'm curious: if she left a store to think about purchasing an item, only to find the item gone when she returned, would she demand the proprietor go hunt down the purchaser and take it back so she could buy it? :001_huh: (it's a rhetorical question obviously)

[kricau]

That is a VERY good point!!!

 

Indeed. I appreciate seeing updates to the odd negative feedback for sellers. It suggests they actually DO care about providing good service.

 

I'm curious: if she left a store to think about purchasing an item, only to find the item gone when she returned, would she demand the proprietor go hunt down the purchaser and take it back so she could buy it? :001_huh: (it's a rhetorical question obviously)

[coffeefreak]

I don't sell on ebay anymore. I use homeschoolclassifieds.com, Amazon, and this site. The only problems I ever had were on ebay.

 

The suggestion I want to give you is, don't enter into conversations with your buyers. If they are asking questions on condition or the edition of your curriculum, AND the answer is not found in your listing, answer the questions. I have found the people that grill me on the curriculum itself, asking if we enjoyed it, would it work for their family, etc, they are the ones that never buy, and get mad when I sell it to someone else. Also, if someone asks me a question and the answer is found in my listing, I reply with, "The answer to your questions are found in my listing." There are too many scammers out there and I don't want to get taken. If someone gives me the willies, I just stop the conversation. No replies no nothing.

 

HTH!

:grouphug:

Dorinda

[kricau]

Ok, it's over :) Thank the Lord!!!

 

She replied to my request to cancel and refund (on the eBay message) that she still wants the book sent to her. So I am covered if she tries to leave negetive feedback I will just contact eBay explain what happened and they can look up our messages and see that I offered her a full refund.

 

Thanks everybody who replied. I LOVE this site :)

[kricau]

:iagree:That is VERY good advice. And I hope I remember to take it. I did have the "willies" about the whole thing. But I was so hoping that she would buy more than just the one book, that I let her lead me down that path :(

 

I don't sell on ebay anymore. I use homeschoolclassifieds.com, Amazon, and this site. The only problems I ever had were on ebay.

 

The suggestion I want to give you is, don't enter into conversations with your buyers. If they are asking questions on condition or the edition of your curriculum, AND the answer is not found in your listing, answer the questions. I have found the people that grill me on the curriculum itself, asking if we enjoyed it, would it work for their family, etc, they are the ones that never buy, and get mad when I sell it to someone else. Also, if someone asks me a question and the answer is found in my listing, I reply with, "The answer to your questions are found in my listing." There are too many scammers out there and I don't want to get taken. If someone gives me the willies, I just stop the conversation. No replies no nothing.

 

HTH!

:grouphug:

Dorinda

[Rebel Yell]

How much positive feedback do you have? I rarely use ebay, but if I encounter someone with, say, 99 positive reviews and 1 negative review, I give them the benefit of the doubt and assume the negative reviewer was likely at fault somehow.

:iagree:

 

You should outline the transaction and what her unreasonable expectation was, not just say something vague like this, which suggests you could be guilty of bad customer service.

 

I'd say something like, "On X (date), customer inquired about X. Customer had multiple, in-depth questions about (fill in the blank) and a series of emails transpired between X date and time and X date and time. While customer was in the midst of the interrogation about the item, it sold on Amazon. Customer is angry that she did not purchase the item before it sold, which is in no way a customer service issue. The first person who purchases the item is entitled to it, not a person who is merely asking multiple questions about the item."

:iagree:

 

Indeed. I appreciate seeing updates to the odd negative feedback for sellers. It suggests they actually DO care about providing good service.

 

I'm curious: if she left a store to think about purchasing an item, only to find the item gone when she returned, would she demand the proprietor go hunt down the purchaser and take it back so she could buy it? :001_huh: (it's a rhetorical question obviously)

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I don't sell on ebay anymore. I use homeschoolclassifieds.com, Amazon, and this site. The only problems I ever had were on ebay.

 

The suggestion I want to give you is, don't enter into conversations with your buyers. If they are asking questions on condition or the edition of your curriculum, AND the answer is not found in your listing, answer the questions. I have found the people that grill me on the curriculum itself, asking if we enjoyed it, would it work for their family, etc, they are the ones that never buy, and get mad when I sell it to someone else. Also, if someone asks me a question and the answer is found in my listing, I reply with, "The answer to your questions are found in my listing." There are too many scammers out there and I don't want to get taken. If someone gives me the willies, I just stop the conversation. No replies no nothing.

 

HTH!

:grouphug:

Dorinda

:iagree:

[gardenmom5]

did she say she wanted to buy it (and actually sent money to pay for it), or just ask a ton of questions? more importantly, had you committed to sell it to her before it sold on amazon? If not - it's her problem it sold before she bought it.

 

eta:I occasionally read the negative reviews on ebay - usually it's obvious they're a flake, especially if there are a bunch of positives with glowing reviews. when the seller posts a response, it becomes even more evident the unhappy buyer was a flake with unreasonable expectations.

Edited July 9, 2012 by gardenmom5

[gardenmom5]

I'm sure a LOT of books are dual-listed on various sites. I've had transactions canceled on Amazon Marketplace with "sorry, that title is no longer available" on occasion. The only time I've been annoyed is when it's taken several days to be notified. It's just one of the "risks" you take when buying from private sellers. No harm done.

or when you've completed the purchase and it is only canceled AFTER asking the seller where it is? that one really ticked me off.

 

at least amazon is really good about refunds.

[Soror]

did she say she wanted to buy it (and actually sent money to pay for it), or just ask a ton of questions? more importantly, had you committed to sell it to her before it sold on amazon? If not - it's her problem it sold before she bought it.

 

eta:I occasionally read the negative reviews on ebay - usually it's obvious they're a flake, especially if there are a bunch of positives with glowing reviews. when the seller posts a response, it becomes even more evident the unhappy buyer was a flake with unreasonable expectations.

 

:iagree: I would totally ignore 1 bad review from a flake.

[QuirkyKidAcademy]

"Until I receive your money, you are just another looky-lou."

[kricau]

:lol:

"Until I receive your money, you are just another looky-lou."

[kricau]

No & No :( She was tippy toeing around the idea of buying it. And hadn't even gotten to the part about how much it woud be total-let alone pay for it.

 

Thanks

 

did she say she wanted to buy it (and actually sent money to pay for it), or just ask a ton of questions? more importantly, had you committed to sell it to her before it sold on amazon? If not - it's her problem it sold before she bought it.

 

eta:I occasionally read the negative reviews on ebay - usually it's obvious they're a flake, especially if there are a bunch of positives with glowing reviews. when the seller posts a response, it becomes even more evident the unhappy buyer was a flake with unreasonable expectations.

[justamouse]

Ok, so I have some stuff for sale on this website. Well, I also had other stuff for sale on eBay. A lady bought one of the ebay items then contacted me and asked if I had any more school related items for sale. So I gave her the link to this website. I assumed she would realize that this in NOT eBay and the eBay rules do not apply here.

 

She emailed me (over a three day period) saying things like she was interested in a certain book, but asked a ton of questions about it. I would email her back and answer her questions. I was starting to get a little annoyed as I was not sure if she was actually going to buy anything, and was just using me to get a bunch of info about the books.

 

So last night I got another email saying that a book had sold on Amazon. I had completly fogot that awhile back (before eBay or here) I had tried to sell on Amazon. So I email her and tell her that the book has sold, "sorry".

She writes back all irrate that I sold it "right out from under her". I appologized (again) and told her that I had forgotten about it being on Amazon. I did not say (but I wanted to) that she had never said for sure that she was buying anything. And that untill something is paid for it is still up for grabs. She emailed me again, more complaints "refund the buyer and sell to me". Yada-yada.... I emailed her back and told her I didn't like where this was going and I have apologized several times. But it needs to be over with. I even offered to refund her money for the book she DID buy on eBay if she didn't want to deal with me.

 

So here is my questions : What would you have done? Am I totally in the wrong here? Please speak freely.

 

She was WAY out of line.

 

If you are at Marshalls, and there's a skirt you like. It's the only one on the rack and you decide to come back tomorrow but by the time you get there, someone else bought it. Do you demand that they find the buyer and make her return it because you wanted it?

 

Too bad, so sad, send her e-mails to spam. Even apologizing-though nice-was unnecessary. You run a business. She didn't buy it, someone else did and that's that.

[ThisIsTheDay]

Don't let yourself get sucked into her drama. You were under no obligation to sell the material to her. She had not paid you and had no claim to it. I would stop apologizing and end all communication with this person immediately. :grouphug: