how do you deal with this type of person?

[HappyLady]

I have a couple of family members that are always "sick." You can tell them you had a cold 2 weeks ago and within minutes they're "coming down with something." :glare: Or they go to the extreme with everything. One example is this one relative sprayed outside their home for wasps and because of that they had every side-effect the can said they could experience if they inhaled any of the vapors. :001_rolleyes:

 

Quite frankly, I can't deal with people like this. If someone doesn't try and take care of themselves (these people won't go to the doctor when they're "sick") or you complain every time I talk to you, don't expect sympathy from me.

 

Now one of them is mad at me because they apparently inhaled muriatic acid while dumping it in their pool. :001_huh: When they told me I had no reaction. They followed that up with an email to me about all of the side-effects they were supposedly experiencing. When I didn't respond to the email they blasted me for not caring.

 

It's like the boy who cried wolf with these people! I'll feel bad if ever anything is seriously wrong and I don't react to it, but how much can one person hear about how someone is going to "die" and then is fine the next day?? :glare:

 

Seriously, what do I do?? Give them sympathy each time so I don't look like a jerk? Tell them to suck it up and deal with it? I'm just fed up!

[Murphy101]

Meh. I wouldn't respond. Eventually they will whine to someone else.

 

That or I'd be snarky and say, "Guess you won't do that again then!"

[Forget-Me-Not]

I say something vague and non-committal like "Oh, that's too bad" and quickly change the subject.

[Slartibartfast]

I would tell them if they are concerned they should go to the Dr.

 

"Are you saying you have POISONED yourself?!?! You should see a Dr!"

[Laurie4b]

You will probably need to decide whether it is worth it to confront it or not. Confronting it will probably cost you.

 

You could confront in different ways. One would be to exaggerate your response in response to theirs: "Oh no! Muriatic acid! You had better go to the ER now.,.. but with all those side effects, you could DIE!" (This will have the effect of putting the hypochondriac in the position of telling you it's not that bad. )

 

A cold: "Oh no! Again! I've heard that a cough that doesn't go away could be a sign of lung cancer. You'd better go to the doctor and ask for a full work-up.... but it might not be just a cold. You might just think it's a cold but you've had so many things related to coughing that it could be something MUCH. MORE. SERIOUS. "

 

(This method could be fun.)

 

Another other option is to offer a tepid,

"I'm sorry that happened to you," whenever they complain (and just tell yourself that is easier and you're not reinforcing them with much of a response.)

 

Since the people involved obviously need attention, I would suggest looking for any opportunity to give it when they are not ill. (Reinforce health, hobbies, etc. with your interest and attention.)

[Reflections]

My response has been: Sorry you had that happen to you. Maybe next time you'll be more careful around those chemicals. :D

 

Or: Sorry you're sick. Maybe you should get the doctor's opinion on why you are sick so often. :D

 

Repeat.

 

And then roll your eyes when they can't see you.

[OH_Homeschooler]

I had a co-worker like that once. Every day when I asked how she was, she acted like I wanted a rundown of every organ in her body! Or heck, even if I didn't ask how she was. Like LemonPie suggested, I learned to barely respond and change the subject. I'd usually just say "huh, pass the bean dip!"

 

And I agree, it becomes even more frustrating when they just complain and never go to the doctor. In my co-worker's case, even when she went on and on about having a headache, and even though she had tons of sick leave available to her, she would just never go home. Then just be quiet if you're not going to do anything about it!

 

I would guess they don't get a lot of positive attention in other situations and this is their way of getting that kind of attention, but I've decided that's not my job. If they need attention, find it somewhere else. I don't care anymore if I seem unsympathetic. Actually I AM unsympathetic.

 

Smart people learn...they will stop doing it and seek more positive ways to get attention.

[happi duck]

What I've done: Never, ever, ask "how are you?"

 

Looking at your situation, I'd probably ignore anything written and to any verbal exchanges always say "you should call your doctor".

[Tammyla]

I know someone who simply responds with a...

 

 

"Well, there you go."

 

I'm pretty sure it means what ever:tongue_smilie:, but it sounds nicer.

[Mom-ninja.]

I see you've been talking to my mom. :tongue_smilie:

 

This is exactly how she is. She will accuse me of giving her a cold through the phone.

 

Funny, however, is that she used to complain all the time about her "weak stomach" and how sick she is every day. Then I was diagnosed celiac, and she refuses to be tested. She doesn't want to change her diet, and she likes the attention she gets with being sick all the time. So, she no longer tells me about her "weak stomach" problems because she knows I'll cut her off and tell her to get tested for celiac.

[swellmomma]

for things like the inhaling of vapors my usual reponse is "well that was stupid" (said for any "sickness" or "injury" caused by something the person did, come to think of it I say it for real sicknesses and illnesses caused by the actions of that person)

 

For illnessess I usually say something like, "oh you should go lay down, I'll leave you be now" and walk away/hang up. No audience and they can't claim I was heartless, afterall I was worried enough to let them go lay down :D

 

Now the 2 yr old in my care everything is a national emergency. Apparently her birth mother was a major hypochondriac and the adoptive parents are worried they are in for the same with teh little girl. She came in today with no less than 10 ailments, and she already tries to one up people. Yesterday dd said her tummy hurt after she had been running around a lot as the little girl's mom showed up. Little girl runs over saying "my tummy hurts lots and I threw up on mommy" Mom looked at her then at me and said, "that's not true". She comes to me at least every 30 minutes with another "injury" or illness. My pat response, is "you are fine". She repeats it a couple times and goes on her way again until the next 30 minutes. Even when she has actually been hurt (tripping on the sidewalk for example), I keep saying "you are fine" because she goes from having a tiny scrape that didn't even need a bandaid to telling everyone she sees that her leg is gashed open and needs a dr.

 

SHe is only 2.5 so part of this is a phase, but even in the phase it is over the top of any kid I have ever worked with in the close to 25 years I have worked with kids.

[fraidycat]

My standard response when I don't feel like dealing with other people's issues is "Man, It sucks to be you.". And depending on the person, situation, and tone of voice that I use to convey the statement, it can be viewed as sympathetic, funny, empathic, or just plain *shut up and leave me alone* rude. In any case, it doesn't really require any response from them, so they can either move on in the conversation, or just move on. ;)

[DragonFaerie]

You could confront in different ways. One would be to exaggerate your response in response to theirs: "Oh no! Muriatic acid! You had better go to the ER now.,.. but with all those side effects, you could DIE!" (This will have the effect of putting the hypochondriac in the position of telling you it's not that bad. )

 

A cold: "Oh no! Again! I've heard that a cough that doesn't go away could be a sign of lung cancer. You'd better go to the doctor and ask for a full work-up.... but it might not be just a cold. You might just think it's a cold but you've had so many things related to coughing that it could be something MUCH. MORE. SERIOUS. "

 

(This method could be fun.)

 

LOL... I love this idea! I knew a minister once who told a story about seeing an obviously perfectly healthy woman park in a handicapped parking spot. He went rushing over offering to help her get out of her car, etc., quite to the embarrassment of the perfectly-capable woman. :lol:

[gardenmom5]

"oh, that's too bad." (they're just words - you don't have to expend any emotion saying them.) and change the subject. sounds like classic hypochondria to me.

 

the other thing, never ask them "how they are doing" if you don't want an answer.;)

[AK_Mom4]

You will probably need to decide whether it is worth it to confront it or not. Confronting it will probably cost you.

 

You could confront in different ways. One would be to exaggerate your response in response to theirs: "Oh no! Muriatic acid! You had better go to the ER now.,.. but with all those side effects, you could DIE!" (This will have the effect of putting the hypochondriac in the position of telling you it's not that bad. )

 

A cold: "Oh no! Again! I've heard that a cough that doesn't go away could be a sign of lung cancer. You'd better go to the doctor and ask for a full work-up.... but it might not be just a cold. You might just think it's a cold but you've had so many things related to coughing that it could be something MUCH. MORE. SERIOUS. "

 

(This method could be fun.)

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

Laurie4b, you made my whole day!

[Belacqua]

I've had some success with, "So what's the plan?" or, "What are you going to do about it?" It would seem that most of these people just want to grumble and really don't care to be asked how they're planning to solve their many, many problems. One friend accused me of being "such a guy" when I did this with her.

 

Of course, there's always the danger that this will backfire horribly and I'll have to listen to (since I did ask, after all) a detailed description of tests and medicines and side effects...hasn't happened yet, but I'm prepared for the possibility.

[Clear Creek]

I wish I knew how to deal with this. Dh does this all the time--I mention that ds had yet another massive nosebleed or that he can't breathe and I have to hear all about how HE'S not feeling well/getting enough sleep/allergies. Hello! You have NO IDEA what allergies are! Yeah, you get a bit stuffy for one week out of the year. Not quite the same thing as having to stay indoors and watching your eyes swell shut. The kids will get a stomach bug (as in puking for three days) and HE had an upset stomach so didn't eat dinner once last week. It's not always about YOU! And I will come right out and say that, which is probably not helpful. I know it's a holdover from his upbringing--his mom, the hypochondriac, was always sick, had to have special food, etc. (The kids grew up with no fruit save an occasional apple because the fruit was for HER). She finally died of a non-existent illness caused by a spider bite that never happened. The kids were never allowed to be sick (she didn't have time to be bothered and g'pa thought that if you just worked hard, you wouldn't feel bad--he extended this to broken bones). Maybe I'll suggest an ambulance for the next slight bout of intestinal upset...

 

I could have written the bolded above. Same examples, even. I keep waiting for my dh to actually get sick so he knows what it is really like. I think that is the problem...he doesn't get sick. I don't think he has run a fever once in our entire marriage.

[momteel]

I would go with those who say do not give extra attention... and try to GIVE attention for behaviors more sociably tolerable!!!

laura