How do YOU bring peace and joy to your homeschool?

[Mallorie]

Once I decided I do not have to prove anything to anyone, that changed a lot. If *I* am happy, our day is fabulous. I NEED to have a clean house, or I just feel lousy. We always have one huge clutter spot, but as long as I can have a n hour or so of devoted cleaning a day I am a different person.

 

I haven't read past this post yet, but I wanted to say thanks for writing it. I am the same way, dh keeps saying let it go, and I have in some ways. But I NEED to feel organized, or I do not function well.

 

Going back to read the rest. :)

[PentecostalMom]

Working on making things easier here. Headed more towards a relaxed education with focus on 3 R's as well. They are only kids once! We can up the academics in a few years.

 

You ladies have given great insight! Keep the ideas coming!

[Halcyon]

I think the big thing here is for me to just lighten up and :chillpill:. I'm in assessment/planning mode right now, and what I realize is, we have gotten *so much* done this year! We didn't (re)-start 4th grade till late October when we started homeschooling, and at first I felt so behind, especially in math, and was so panicked, but you know what, it has all worked out fine! We're right where I wanted to be in math, in terms of curricula, and in terms of conceptual understanding and problem-solving skills, we are light years ahead of my wildest fantasies.

 

Really, everything goes so much faster when you are teaching one on one. We've started almost all our "5th grade" work already, I'm really focusing on going deep and making connections instead of trying to add every new cool thing I hear about. Next year's plan is lean and clean. And you know what? I'm giving us permission to lighten up over the summer. We'll still do some math and latin, and of course read-alouds, but with everything else, it's going to be fine if we just stop now and start up again when Mo goes back to school.

 

I guess my point is just for me, to realize that we are doing enough, I can lighten up and don't have to be the relentless overachiever every second, well - if I can live in that place, there is a lot of peace.

 

And when Mama's happy, everybody's happy, so bring on the joy!

 

I agree, especially with bolded. I think you and I are on the same page, in many ways. I think we are going to continue with our "light" summer schedule. I want to do nature studies in our new backyard when we move next week, so I am on the lookout for a guide (anyone?) that will help us, particularly with Florida flora and fauna. I also agree with the pp who said that it's important for some of us to recognize that we OVERSCHEDULE. For example, today we only worked on Latin, math, some science, and writing...and really, that was enough. And it's far less than we do on many days, but those days feel more hectic, less "deep" and less relaxing and joyful. Recognizing too that on days when we have out -of-the-house activities, or on days when I work, I need to schedule MORE transition time...I can't stop school at noon and expect to be somewhere 15 minutes away by 12:30. It. Just. Doesn't. Happen. and I get stressed out and upset. I need to give more "margin" in our day (I believe CM talked about this), and that alone can make a huge difference.

 

Thank you for all who have posted. This has been very enlightening!

[Alice]

I have just recently created check lists for each of the boys for all of the lessons that need to be cover in a week. I never would have guessed how beneficial this would be. The boys have more ownership over their lessons(DS9 prefers to do 3 or 4 days worth of a subject at a time, who knew). I am less stressed about sitting down and getting each subject done each day because I am less worried it will get away from us. I am no longer the task master, the list is! So far this has really been revolutionary in our homeschool.

 

We have been doing something similar the past 6 weeks or so. It's been really great. Everything feels much more relaxed, but we're getting the same amount "done". My son loves feeling in control of what he has to do and when he does it.

 

At the beginning of the week we sit down and I show him the list of things I want to do that week and we discuss what other activities there might be. So if Friday is going to be a field trip out all day, I'll tell him that at the beginning of the week and he knows he needs to get more done earlier in the week.

 

I'm also more realistic in my planning. I've been making sure to plan in for more free time and for things like field trips and nature walks and playing with friends.

 

We go through seasons in our homeschool. For months we will follow a strict schedule of academics...and then for months we will follow interest led learning, do tons of read alouds, art projects, music etc....then that gets old and we go back to scheduled academics in core subjects.

 

I am always amazed at how much my kids accomplish during those unschooley seasons! It seems when they hit their limit...and need more skill teaching....we go back to that.

 

I purport that homeschooling, like life....goes through seasons. Paying careful attention to the needs of your family and your kids can help determine when those seasons take place and the shape they take.

 

Enjoy the season you are in...and plan/look forward to the next....

 

This is great advice, and something I am still learning.

[melmichigan]

The (near) Daily Quiet Time/Nap is the key to peace and joy around here -- my peace and joy. It has two rules: (1) Lie down; (2) Be quiet.

 

:iagree:

[Critterfixer]

I am looking to focus more on me a bit....my health, needs and education...so I can be a better me for my husband....and kids.....and especially for ME. Maybe it sounds selfish...But when I am peaceful, it seems everyone else around me relaxes a bit as well.

 

 

 

That's exactly it.

 

I also had begun to really notice that my boys were tending to some of the same traits that always kept me from being able to organize. They would clutter the same way I did, they would lose things for not keeping track of where they left them, they would leave things about 3/4 done instead of finishing what they had begun. They would get distracted easily and then flustered when they tried to pick up what they had left undone.

So I figured that I really needed to show them that a disorganized, easily distracted, paper-accumulating, where-have-I-put-my-keys-this-time? kind of person COULD be organized. It does not come naturally to me, at all. But I needed to do it, and they needed to see that it could be done. And slowly, I've been seeing some good changes in them as they begin to follow me. It's sort of funny to see us all running up and down the driveway at eight in the morning as we "have our run". They have begun to show better ability to throw away old artwork to make room for new. They now put their clothes in their basket (Yippie!) and know (most of the time) where their shoes are! It's slow, but boy I hope they can hold on to some of what they are learning now, because it may be helpful to them later on.

For now, it is making them more peaceful, because they know what to expect from me, and what I expect from them. I've really seen a jump in their imaginative play since I started using my schedule. I'm not sure if that was related or not, but it may be due to the fact that they now have a lot more free time despite five hours scheduled for school activities.

[Chrysalis Academy]

I agree, especially with bolded. I think you and I are on the same page, in many ways.

 

 

I think so too. We will have to make sure our dc meet some day ;).

[Pen]

That's exactly it.

 

I also had begun to really notice that my boys were tending to some of the same traits that always kept me from being able to organize. They would clutter the same way I did, they would lose things for not keeping track of where they left them, they would leave things about 3/4 done instead of finishing what they had begun. They would get distracted easily and then flustered when they tried to pick up what they had left undone.

So I figured that I really needed to show them that a disorganized, easily distracted, paper-accumulating, where-have-I-put-my-keys-this-time? kind of person COULD be organized. It does not come naturally to me, at all. But I needed to do it, and they needed to see that it could be done. And slowly, I've been seeing some good changes in them as they begin to follow me. It's sort of funny to see us all running up and down the driveway at eight in the morning as we "have our run". They have begun to show better ability to throw away old artwork to make room for new. They now put their clothes in their basket (Yippie!) and know (most of the time) where their shoes are! It's slow, but boy I hope they can hold on to some of what they are learning now, because it may be helpful to them later on.

For now, it is making them more peaceful, because they know what to expect from me, and what I expect from them. I've really seen a jump in their imaginative play since I started using my schedule. I'm not sure if that was related or not, but it may be due to the fact that they now have a lot more free time despite five hours scheduled for school activities.

 

I am learning a lot from this thread in general, and I think maybe I'll try to put organization as the main topic for this summer's work. I started a daily checklist some time back, but it is not quite right and needs to be tweaked...anyway it needs changes for the summer. But I think I will put "finish and put away ____" as a specific check item for everyone! It doesn't seem to come naturally here for any of us. I'll also take the idea of getting myself calm first by doing what I need to do for me. I think that is probably very true that if the mom is relaxed everyone else can be more relaxed too.

[Critterfixer]

I changed mine for the summer. Self-preservation, really. No matter how I try, running in 90+ degrees is NOT relaxing! So I've basically got the fall/winter schedule shelved and moved into my summer schedule.

I was scared. The winter schedule was working so well!! How could I change and possibly see everything fall apart?

Well, I'm pleased to say that not only did it not fall apart, it's just right, everybody is over the moon because we now have ALL MORNING off!

(Well, the boys have the morning, off. Sort of. They still have chores. They still have to clean their room once a week on Mondays. BTW, everyone likes Monday now. That's the day we all get fresh, clean sheets off the line and our rooms are soooo nice to lie down in. It's also my rest day for exercise, so we go to the library on Monday morning. Or the park. It's nice to LIKE Monday.) I've got housekeeping and exercise scheduled in the morning for the summer, which means that once they've done their chores and their exercise, the boys are free to play until lunch. School is now scheduled for the afternoon.)

 

What I planned around, though was the three hours for me. Exercise for two, self-education for one. I put those hours where I wanted them first.

[keyjoh62080]

Mama read a book called Homeschooling with a Meek & Quiet Spirit http://www.titus2.com/ecommerce/products/prod_listing.php/1120 and things are looking a lot better around here because of it.

[keyjoh62080]

This looks a lot like our family. I am curious, what do you consider a good bedtime? I know it depends on what time everyone gets up. These are our bedtimes: Baby-7:00 (gets up to eat again at 10pm), 3yo-7:30, 7yo-8:00, 9yo-8:30. Some people seem to think this is really early. And some, like my parents, even think we are kind of mean! Everyone is up by 7am. I would be interested to know when others are putting their children to bed....

 

These are the same times in our home. Since the time change and the neighborhood kids spending more time outside since school is almost over for the year makes my littles upset but so far we have not changed the times. We've been doing this for years.

[coffeefreak]

I am learning a lot from this thread in general, and I think maybe I'll try to put organization as the main topic for this summer's work. I started a daily checklist some time back, but it is not quite right and needs to be tweaked...anyway it needs changes for the summer. But I think I will put "finish and put away ____" as a specific check item for everyone! It doesn't seem to come naturally here for any of us. I'll also take the idea of getting myself calm first by doing what I need to do for me. I think that is probably very true that if the mom is relaxed everyone else can be more relaxed too.

 

I have always thought of myself as an organized person, but then I married a messy man and had his messy kids:lol: Anyway, I'm currently reading 30 days to a simpler life and I LOVE IT! I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to get organizdd over the summer. It will probably take me 60 days because life stalled.me on day 8, but that' s ok. At least I'm on the right track!

[Pen]

Coffeefreak: Thanks for the book idea...would you let me know if it actually works and gets you to your goal? I know I can easily have a whole mess (literally) of books on organization which inspire, yet do not actually yield the result I want. I started Fly Lady recently and am going to try that unless something else seems like it would be far superior, but several people have told me that flylady really did work for them.

 

To whomever asked about bedtimes: Bedtime here is a little later in summer and a little earlier in winter as that seems to fit the seasons. But basically, it was 7PM until age 8, then moved to 8 PM. It is now officially 8PM bedtime, 9PM lights out time. Sometimes it is a little later. Sometimes special events make it quite a bit later (but rarely). Last night my son was up reading until way past lights out time, and was rather a bear today.

 

So with a late time getting to sleep last night, no schoolwork got done today except for more reading (he is hooked on the Red Pyramid series and cannot put it down...). I decided to opt for peace and joy and not fight it. A year ago, we were struggling with words like Cat and Dog and thinking his dyslexia was more dire than it now seems, so I decided to just be thankful. I think if this thread had not been started I might have been more frustrated and stressed trying to get the usual day's work done. So, I have decided to add another idea for peace and joy, trite but useful, count one's blessings and don't stress over the little things.

[coffeefreak]

Coffeefreak: Thanks for the book idea...would you let me know if it actually works and gets you to your goal? I know I can easily have a whole mess (literally) of books on organization which inspire, yet do not actually yield the result I want. I started Fly Lady recently and am going to try that unless something else seems like it would be far superior, but several people have told me that flylady really did work for them.

 

.

 

I will. I tried Flylady when my girls were itty bitty, and it drove me crazy. You'll have to tell me what you think. I hear she has changed some. Back then, you would get e-mail alerts every 15 min. It was maddening to me!!! Manager's of their homes was what worked for a while, but the clutter really creeps up on you over the years. I think it's time for MAJOR reorganization in my house! That should help bring back the peace :). . . Right?:tongue_smilie:

[kubiac]

5. Read alouds. Outside in nice weather. My neighbors have all gotten quite the education from eavesdropping on our read aloud time (or so they say). One summer, when new construction was going on behind us, the workers would all stop talking when we came outdoors and read "Across Five Aprils", a biography of Lincoln, and another book on Civil War battles. One guy even shouted, "Quiet guys, it's time for the Civil War!"

 

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. Is there a standing ovation smiley for this story?!!

[CatholicMom]

5. Read alouds. Outside in nice weather. My neighbors have all gotten quite the education from eavesdropping on our read aloud time (or so they say). One summer, when new construction was going on behind us, the workers would all stop talking when we came outdoors and read "Across Five Aprils", a biography of Lincoln, and another book on Civil War battles. One guy even shouted, "Quiet guys, it's time for the Civil War!" :lol: :lol:

 

Trying to be mindful of my long term goals can help overcome short term frustration. And when all else fails...smile. :)

 

I love this!! :lol:

[AmyontheFarm]

This looks a lot like our family. I am curious, what do you consider a good bedtime? I know it depends on what time everyone gets up. These are our bedtimes: Baby-7:00 (gets up to eat again at 10pm), 3yo-7:30, 7yo-8:00, 9yo-8:30. Some people seem to think this is really early. And some, like my parents, even think we are kind of mean! Everyone is up by 7am. I would be interested to know when others are putting their children to bed....

 

Bedtimes:

9yo - 7:30

11yo - 7:30

16yo - 9

18 yo - 10

Parents 10

 

Wake up:

Dad - 5:30

Mom - 7

18yo - 7

16yo - 6

11yo - 7

9yo - 7

[Beth in SW WA]

I will add that I have turned our math into a more hands-on 'play' experience lately. It's a nice break from our typical computer, pencil/paper math lessons. I plan to do most of this type of learning the summer. Pics here.

[stripe]

It's still light out at 9 pm in summer. I have to just give up on early bedtimes.

[sassenach]

 

I purport that homeschooling, like life....goes through seasons. Paying careful attention to the needs of your family and your kids can help determine when those seasons take place and the shape they take.

 

 

This is huge. I started to really pay attention to this last year. I know it's metaphorical, but it's also literal. We have a couple of months of solid rain here in the winter. Those are times when park days are canceled, the house gets dark, the children become more calm and content to stay indoors. Those are the times when I lay work on heavy. We fill our days with more books and indoor projects. As soon as spring hits, forget it! There is no keeping any of us indoors. We do the minimum of our core subjects and then out we go.

 

Another season for us is co-op. When co-op is in session, our weeks look different. We lose a day of at home school, and I have to structure things in a different way. We love co-op. For us, it's a great addition to our homeschool. It breaks up our year and keeps life from getting monotonous.

 

This year I realized that the structure of our curriculum was really getting in the way of being able to flow with the seasons. There wasn't any give to the schedule. I have decided to move away from boxed curriculums and start putting more of my own plans together. I'm excited about the change.

 

Someone also talked about unit studies. I really agree with that, especially surrounding science. One of my plans for next year is to break our year up into units.

 

Halcyon, you posted about transitions. I am totally guilty of that. I don't know that I could ever stick to just one schedule, but I may need to think through creating a few different types of schedules.

[famof6]

Yes I could use some help in that area too...I have an instigator.

[famof6]

I have coffee time in the morning. As long as mom has coffee in her cup, all kids have to fend for themselves. They will come and peek in my mug to see if they can "bother mom" yet. It gives me a little time in the morning to be off duty so I am ready to be mom the rest of the day.

[LillyMama]

We program in our breaks, so we have things to look forward to. But every once in a while, I just stand up and yell, "DANCE BREAK!" We go to the basement, turn on my husband's crazy dance music, and, well, dance. Maybe five minutes, maybe 30, but we just MOVE. We laugh, tackle each other on the couch, whatever. They still get recess at normally scheduled times. :D

 

We also take lots of things outside. Sidewalk chalk goes faster than pencil lead in this house- I don't think they've done more than one spelling test on paper this month- their LA notebook is filled with pictures I took of what they wrote on the driveway.

 

If we start snapping at each other, I yell, "Tell me a knock knock joke!" My kids tell HORRIBLE jokes, they aren't even funny. Then we do goofy walks around the house, and then sit back down.

 

I'm very introverted, this does NOT come naturally to me, but it seems to work.

[fairy4tmama]

We program in our breaks, so we have things to look forward to. But every once in a while, I just stand up and yell, "DANCE BREAK!" We go to the basement, turn on my husband's crazy dance music, and, well, dance. Maybe five minutes, maybe 30, but we just MOVE. We laugh, tackle each other on the couch, whatever. They still get recess at normally scheduled times. :D

 

We also take lots of things outside. Sidewalk chalk goes faster than pencil lead in this house- I don't think they've done more than one spelling test on paper this month- their LA notebook is filled with pictures I took of what they wrote on the driveway.

 

If we start snapping at each other, I yell, "Tell me a knock knock joke!" My kids tell HORRIBLE jokes, they aren't even funny. Then we do goofy walks around the house, and then sit back down.

 

I'm very introverted, this does NOT come naturally to me, but it seems to work.

I love these ideas!

[freeindeed]

This thread has some great ideas. We are taking the next two weeks and doing interest-led learning. It started as a necessity b/c my oldest is home from his deployment (praise God) and is getting married the first weekend in June. Also, my youngest (special needs) is going through a rough patch right now. What's surprised me, though, is how peaceful our days have been and how much my children have learned in a non-formal way! To help get things started, I had my children list several topics they were interested in studying, and then I got books, websites, and materials together to help them in their pursuits. It's amazing what I discovered at Goodwill and at the library, and of course online as well. I have a few blog posts about it:

http://freeindeed-redkitchen.blogspot.com/2012/05/homeschooling-week-of-april-30.html

http://freeindeed-redkitchen.blogspot.com/2012/05/learning-as-special-needs-family.html

http://freeindeed-redkitchen.blogspot.com/2012/05/great-week.html

http://freeindeed-redkitchen.blogspot.com/2012/05/books-books-and-more-books-plus.html

My children are so enthused, and they are coming up with their own projects and telling me and dh about all the things they're learning. If I wasn't such a Type A, I'd probably be a radical unschooler!:lol: Also, another thing I did was order some fun math books from Paperback Swap. When I receive them, I'll blog about what we do...one involves food, so I know it'll be a hit with ds9.:D

ETA: I am currently reading The Connected Family. I discussed it one of the blog posts I linked. I am really enjoying it. It contains some great advice and practical strategies to use in strengthening and building up your family. Next I'm going to read Siblings without Rivalry. Both books are Goodwill finds!

Edited May 20, 2012 by freeindeed