Help! My baby cries all the time

[jmgconner]

My little guy is 3 months old. He cries whenever he is not being held. Not just a little fussy, but full-on, I'm-mad-as-heck screaming. He doesn't calm down after a few minutes, either.

 

Now, before you tell me that I've just spoiled him, I haven't done anything different than I did with my first 3 children. I 'wear' him whenever possible. If I can't actively hold him (like while I'm cooking), I talk to him in a smoothing voice. It's not helping. :001_huh:

 

He's still young and I want to cherish this time. I know that someday I'll ache to hold this small version of him. At the same time, I've never met a baby like this, my chores are falling behind, and I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of constant attention he demands.

 

Thoughts? Prayers? Advice?

[Adrianne]

My little guy is 3 months old. He cries whenever he is not being held. Not just a little fussy, but full-on, I'm-mad-as-heck screaming. He doesn't calm down after a few minutes, either.

 

Now, before you tell me that I've just spoiled him, I haven't done anything different than I did with my first 3 children. I 'wear' him whenever possible. If I can't actively hold him (like while I'm cooking), I talk to him in a smoothing voice. It's not helping. :001_huh:

 

He's still young and I want to cherish this time. I know that someday I'll ache to hold this small version of him. At the same time, I've never met a baby like this, my chores are falling behind, and I'm beginning to feel a little overwhelmed with the amount of constant attention he demands.

 

Thoughts? Prayers? Advice?

 

(((Jeanne))) I know how you feel. I don't believe you can spoil a baby with too much love:001_smile:

 

Both of my boys were screamers. Have you looked into allergies? I did not know about this with my first so we just walked and wore him a lot. When my second ds came along, I started reading about food allergies and through a process of elimination, we found out he was allergic to eggs, soy, and milk. He could not have formula with these ingredients and since I nursed him, I could not have these products either.

 

Once I eliminated these from my diet, it was like I had a new baby. He was content, no more bad diaper rashes, no more screaming.

 

I have read about babies being intolerant of many things including laundry detergent, environmental allergies, food, et cetera.

 

HTH!!

[Mom2legomaniacs]

First of all, let me say that I don't think you can spoil a little baby like that. So don't you feel bad about holding him. Do you think he might be uncomfortable in some way? Some babies require a lot more holding than others too.

 

Those that require 'more' can be very tiring so :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:. I had one that was similar to that except with sleeping (or lack thereof). He also nursed a LOT -- long periods of time and often.

 

I remember Dr. Sears talked about that in one of his books. About those that need more. Are any of the older ones big enough to help out with the holding while you are cooking?

 

I'd love to hold him -- bring him on over. Babies are so sweet to hold and nuzzle. But the constant can be exhausting. More :grouphug: for you!

 

 

And to ditto some of the above about intolerances too. My younger was intolerant to dairy proteins (meat and the like) and fruits. If you are nursing, you might consider this as well as the others mentioned.

[Guest]

any books, etc you would recommend reading on allergies like that?

[amy g.]

I had one like that. I cried every day thinking I was just a bad mother.

 

Fortunately, Dh had a job that involved traveling, and the baby and I just went with him. I could not have cared for that child by myself without losing my mind. She out grew the neediness around one year of age, and has been delightful ever since.

 

I'm really thankful that I put everything else aside to just meet her needs. So did my poor Dh. He spent many nights walking her in hotel rooms, trying to get her to sleep.

 

It feels so unfair when other people get the easy babies!

[kat19]

My son screamed and cried for hours(like 4) at a time. Then he got switched to a hypoallergenic formula(alimentum) and they have stopped. His doctor thought part of it was due to colic, and that you just have to wait to get over(which really does stink)

I am so glad.. It was so tiring for both of us.

He has a reflux problem also so he is cranky quite a bit. He does have his happy days though..

He is also 3 months. He is in the fun stage, cooing and being more expressive(smiling, etc) We love it.

 

Not sure if you breastfeed or not, if you do, you might want to eliminate somethings from your diet(you could do a search) or if you bottle feed, check into a different formula..

 

Good Luck!! :grouphug:

[Qs3]

I'm sorry you're going through this! My ds7 was the same way. I had to hold him, or wear him constantly. He would scream if dh tried to hold him. I even used to mow the lawn with him on my back! I think he must of had colic. What ended up being my life saver was to put him in the swing. The rocking was hypnotic and he eventually fell asleep. You're in my prayers.

[chiguirre]

Extreme fussiness is often mentioned on the surveys you have to fill out to have your child evaluated for sensory issues. You might want to talk to your pediatrician about it and see if there are any other warning signs.

 

:grouphug:

[Adrianne]

any books, etc you would recommend reading on allergies like that?

 

I remember reading the Baby Book by Dr. Sears. I also talked to moms who had babies with allergies. It was mostly trial and error and the process of elimination. I would avoid eating xx for one week and see if it made a difference.

 

With my ds and soy, he actually vomited after getting soy formula so it was easy to see that allergy. As for eggs and milk I had to eliminate them.

[Kay in Cal]

Both of mine were like this... they wanted to be held all the time. Mosly we just wore them or passed them back and forth to make sure they were held--they both were fine with daddy holding them as well, so that wasn't an issue. The only thing that would substitute for a short time was a swing... at meals we would slip the sleeping baby into the automatic swing, and they would stay asleep. Something about the movement? Anyhow, you might try that!

[Pink Fairy]

My oldest was like that too, and I'll mention the same thing as everyone else--she had an allergy. It turns out that whenever *I* ate dairy products, she got colic (she was breastfed). It took me a while to figure it out--those were the longest six weeks of my life! I'd check back every once in a while by trying some dairy, and until she was weaned at about 12 months, dairy caused her pain.

 

I'd also recommend reading "The Happiest Baby on the Block", because he deals with crying babies and has some very helpful tips that I've used even with my non-colicky babies.

[brehon]

I had two like this. Both had severe reflux and my ped put them on Zantac. They were each on this med for most of the first year of their lives and have thankfully outgrown this lovely phase. I nursed exclusively and completely eliminated dairy, wheat, and soy from my diet while I nursed. I also basically carried them all the time in a sling(except when I was at work). I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

[Pensguys]

I had two like this. Both had severe reflux and my ped put them on Zantac. They were each on this med for most of the first year of their lives and have thankfully outgrown this lovely phase. I nursed exclusively and completely eliminated dairy, wheat, and soy from my diet while I nursed. I also basically carried them all the time in a sling(except when I was at work). I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

 

This was the problem with my friend's baby. She noticed him swallowing when he wasn't nursing and it was the reflux.

[Lolly]

He had silent reflux. He didn't projectile vomit, but he spit up acid constantly. The position he was held in kept him upright and helped the acid stay down. Said boy also didn't sleep because of this. He would always wake up after a brief, usually 15 min., nap. All day. All night. When he was really sick, he would projectile vomit. Because he didn't have weight gain issues, the doctors didn't want to treat it. Finally, after the doc saw me with a soaking wet towel for a burp rag when he was sick and witnessed the spit up hitting the wallhe decided to give him Zantac. It helped. Now at 11, he still has problems with reflux, especially at night when he is lying down.

[dirty ethel rackham]

{{Jeanne}} My middle son was like that. He was only happy if held by either myself or dh or if he was being entertained by big brother. He has sensory issues and that was probably the first clue. Before panicking on the sensory stuff, can you see a chiropractor with experience with pediatrics? Sometimes, birth can cause some misalignments of the neck bones (especially if they pulled on the head.) I had a childbirth student who had a baby who cried all the time. In desperation, she took him to a chiropractor. After the first adjustment, the crying reduced by 50%. Another suggestion is cranial-sacral therapy.

 

I hope you find some peace soon.

[Karen sn]

(((Jeanne))) I know how you feel. I don't believe you can spoil a baby with too much love:001_smile:

 

Both of my boys were screamers. Have you looked into allergies? I did not know about this with my first so we just walked and wore him a lot. When my second ds came along, I started reading about food allergies and through a process of elimination, we found out he was allergic to eggs, soy, and milk. He could not have formula with these ingredients and since I nursed him, I could not have these products either.

 

Once I eliminated these from my diet, it was like I had a new baby. He was content, no more bad diaper rashes, no more screaming.

 

I have read about babies being intolerant of many things including laundry detergent, environmental allergies, food, et cetera.

 

HTH!!

 

And I would recommend Mother's Milk tea if you are nursing. Has stuff that will get into your milk and help him.

[Harriet Vane]

It turns out he is lactose intolerant. I gave up ALL milk, even bread because commercial brands contain trace amounts of milk. Within a week I had a totally different baby.

 

I have talked to others who have had similar stories. Some have had to be milk-free for up to a month.

 

I am so thankful we figured it out, because my poor ds spent ALL his time screaming, nursing (loooooong past the point that there was anything to suck--it was a comfort thing), or sleeping just a wee bit but not much. It was really horrible. Once the milk was out of his system he was such a sweet, easy baby.

[Sandy in Indy]

Been there, done that. My last was only happy if I was holding him 24 hours a day. (literally) Drove me nuts!!! I was lucky to get a shower once a week and he screamed the whole time. Only dd could hold him for short periods of time--if he was in the mood. I feel for you. I thought I was going out of my mind till I read The Fussy Baby book by Dr. Sears. The baby didn't change much, but my attitude did and that helped immensely. For one thing, it's nice to know that it's not you...not anything you did. It's just the way that child is "wired."

 

We had a pretty rough first year, and it was several years (5) before I could leave him with anyone. (No nursery, no preschool class at hs group, no babysitters.) It was a long road. BUT...that child is now supremely confident. He runs to class at hs group and tackles new situations with confidence. He's happy. It was a long haul but well worth the time, effort and tears it took to get there. I sincerely believe that he would have been damaged (emotionally and psychologically) had we not given him what he so obviously needed.

 

So...hang in there. Be very good friends with your sling. Take heart; you can do this!

[summer]

My son had those problems and I took him to doctor to doctor to doctor and he was turning 15 months old by the time he was diagnosed with eosinophilic gastroenteritis. You would have to take your child to a pediatric GI doctor for those testing.

 

My son would scream high pitched screams all the time and no one had a clue as to how bad it was. I was so frustrated and when someone had no clue how bad it was, they would say colic. It was NOT colic!! uuugghhh

 

I just know what you are going through. Even if it is not the same DX, I still know what it is like to have a screaming, crying, inconsolable baby.

[jmgconner]

Thank you everyone! I started repping but now I've repped too much.

 

The swing doesn't help. :( Due to breast surgery as a teen, I'm unable to breastfeed. All my kids have been sensitive to formula, so we've been careful watching for that. He doesn't seem to spit up any more than usual. He likes to be held lying down.

 

I think I have a needy baby that craves attention. Thank you for the recommendation to take a look at sensory issues. I'm pretty sure that I could have been diagnosed with a sensory issue as a child (and I still have some hang-ups), so that is something I will watch.

 

Thanks for commiserating with me, letting me know I'm not a bad Mom. I'm off to go hold my little one and shower him with as much love as I can!

[Carol in Cal.]

It will pass.

 

I know it's hard, but it's just a season.

 

DD did this from 4PM to 11PM every single night from the night she turned 3 weeks old to about age 4 months. The only things that worked were walking her and nursing. You couldn't even lean back against a tall stool and jiggle. Nope, it had to be actual walking.

 

The weird thing was, she would finally really go to sleep around 11, and then wake up around 4 or 5, and be just as peaceful as peaceful can be. Like a different baby.

 

Then suddenly she outgrew it.

 

A sling is your friend. Friends who like to carry babies around are also your friends.

 

You really can't spoil him at this age. Go with it and get through it.

 

Best, Carol

[Catherine]

extremely needy for the first 15 or 18 months. It was quite trying.

 

To this day, he is very intense, and needy. He's not ever been a happy-go-lucky kid.

 

Don't blame yourself. Maybe my son has had allergies all this time and that's the problem, I tried elimination diets when I was nursing, without success. I just had to live with knowing we were doing the best we could, he was not a very calm quiet babe, and put a lot on hold until he settled down. Things got a lot better when he started walking (at the beginning of nine months-argh) and could actually get to all those tempting whatevers. He remains an extremely active, athletic kid. Maybe he was just bored with sitting around! I do know his worst days were quiet days at home. He did best when we were out and about, running around all day.

[Aubrey]

Dd1 was like that, & it started around 3mos. She'd only calm down if we held her while bouncing, swinging, something exhausting involving motion.

 

I didn't know all the stuff about allergies, etc. the ladies have mentioned, but I did read up on colic. Since enough effort could calm her down, I figured it wasn't that, but we were worn out! We couldn't eat dinner, much less fix it.

 

Around 6 mos, she was fine. At some point, dh insisted that we buy the biggest, baddest swing available. We're big time cheapos about stuff, so this was a big deal. For us, the swing worked. It was a life-saver. And I'm also generally against machines doing stuff for my babies, but like I said, we were at our wits' end.

 

Anyway, I did just read your post that you tried a swing, so I don't really mean it as a suggestion. Just commiserating, I guess. :grouphug: Wish I had a silver bullet for you!

[Ravin]

Ah, the individual temperaments of babies!

 

This sounds like what Dr. Sears refers to as a "high needs" baby. I'd learn how to carry her on my back if I was you, so you can wear her and do more things around the house at the same time. An asian-style baby carrier is an easy solution for this, it's more secure than a sling, or at least feels like it and distributes the weight better.

[Ravin]

It turns out he is lactose intolerant. I gave up ALL milk, even bread because commercial brands contain trace amounts of milk. Within a week I had a totally different baby.

 

I have talked to others who have had similar stories. Some have had to be milk-free for up to a month.

 

I am so thankful we figured it out, because my poor ds spent ALL his time screaming, nursing (loooooong past the point that there was anything to suck--it was a comfort thing), or sleeping just a wee bit but not much. It was really horrible. Once the milk was out of his system he was such a sweet, easy baby.

 

This sounds more like a cow milk protein sensitivity than lactose intolerance. If the problem went away via an elimination diet for you while breastfeeding, it couldn't have been lactose intolerance. Human milk is high in lactose, which is 'milk sugar'. For some babies the proteins seem to be different depending on what mom eats; the composition of lactose is very simple and doesn't change from one species to another, only the concentration in the milk.