ProudGrandma Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 We live in a VERY small town (about 400 people to be exact). We have one park about 5 blocks away. This year was the first year we have allowed our kids to ride their bikes to the park alone play and then come home. This year a new family has moved to town. The children have NO supervision whatsoever and the kids are bullies. They also are destructive to the equipment and the grounds. They bully my children (and others sometimes too)...teasing, bantering, pulling them down from the play ground equipment, throwing sand at them and the latest was pulling my son's pants down to his ankles completely humiluating him. We have told our son to stick up for himself...never to start a fight, but if needed, punch the boy in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him, elbowing the boy in the nose if he tries to pull his pants down. But our son is scared that the boy will hit back (he is not really any bigger than my son...but is 2 years older). We are not sure what else to do. Sure, we can tell our kids to NOT go to the park, but that park will built only a couple years ago and it was built for ALL of the kids in town....not just the bullies. There are other parents who have already stopped taking their children to the park. There have been other parents who have said something to the kids (even a school teacher at their school who had her children down there playing) and the bully's response was "You can't tell me what to do at the park!" Talking to the bully's parents would be useless... So what do we do? I am looking for some sound advice... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 You say it will be useless, but has anyone tried talking to the parents? If the parents truly won't do something then I see only 2 options: 1. Call the cops. 2. No unsupervised visits to the park. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Oh no no no no! That is really NOT right. How old are we talking here? If a child pulled my kid's pants down, I think I'd report it to the police (depending on age). That is just SOOOOO wrong. I think you need to be at the park with them for a while. Do you know their parents? Where they live? If so, your dh could go talk with them and explain what their kids have done. Maybe they really don't know. In the meantime, stay at the park. Your kids don't deserve this type of treatment and they need to see you stand up to these bullies. They need to be protected. My blood is boiling for you.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Here's my two cents: Don't let the bullies take over the park. Parents should accompany their kids no matter what age to the park and actively intervene with the bullies. Stand in front of them if necessary and escort them off the park grounds. The park belongs to the city and in essence since you are paying taxes, it belongs to you and everyone else. If you don't want to call the police on the kids, then the parents all need to band together to stick up for their kids until the bullies get the message they aren't welcome. Either they play nice or not at all. It may take having the dads escorting the bully kids off the play ground area or escorting them home to get the parents to do something about their kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 You say it will be useless, but has anyone tried talking to the parents? If the parents truly won't do something then I see only 2 options:1. Call the cops. 2. No unsupervised visits to the park. I'd call the cops now and tell them you want to press charges against the bully for molestation. I may or may not follow through to the end, but I'd certainly get the bully and his parents attention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Here's my two cents: Don't let the bullies take over the park. Parents should accompany their kids no matter what age to the park and actively intervene with the bullies. Stand in front of them if necessary and escort them off the park grounds. The park belongs to the city and in essence since you are paying taxes, it belongs to you and everyone else. If you don't want to call the police on the kids, then the parents all need to band together to stick up for their kids until the bullies get the message they aren't welcome. Either they play nice or not at all. It may take having the dads escorting the bully kids off the play ground area or escorting them home to get the parents to do something about their kids. What a good idea. Is that pants pulling down thing still going on? Happened to me twice as a kid. Stunk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Call the police. Get a lawyer. Parents with kids like that aren't going to be open to talking. That's how the kids got that way. Let your lawyer talk for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Here's my two cents: Don't let the bullies take over the park. Parents should accompany their kids no matter what age to the park and actively intervene with the bullies. Stand in front of them if necessary and escort them off the park grounds. The park belongs to the city and in essence since you are paying taxes, it belongs to you and everyone else. If you don't want to call the police on the kids, then the parents all need to band together to stick up for their kids until the bullies get the message they aren't welcome. Either they play nice or not at all. It may take having the dads escorting the bully kids off the play ground area or escorting them home to get the parents to do something about their kids. I almost totally agree with Robin but I would NOT put my hands on anyone else's child unless I was topping imminent harm. But this is YOUR park too, OP (unless you're dodging taxes somehow). If the kids don't back off when you tell them to, call the cops. But removing other kids' clothing needs to stop now. And my kids are mostly naked right now. By THEIR choice. If someone ripped off my kids' clothes against their will, I would not hesitate to call the cops. I'd use the non-emergency line and I'd tell my friends what I was doing and ask if they too would be willing to speak up as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HayesW Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Call their parents. Sounds like kids trying to see what they can get away with. My 4 youngest are boys and they sometimes play rougher than other kids. I don't allow it, but I also don't always see it. Call Mom. Talk to her. She may have NO IDEA. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 Some bullies have decent and mature parents. We encountered a situation like this. The parent was receptive to our feelings, and the bully apologized and begged my daughter's forgiveness. My daughter forgave her, but the bully continued to be a bully. We severed ties. The point is, the parents might be receptive. I'd start with them, but I'd try to get other parents to voice their concerns, too (not all at once). If they do not favorably respond, I would call the police as others above have suggested. The park is for everyone, not for the everyone who is able to be a bully or defend themselves. There is absolutely no way I would escort the bully from the play ground. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 There is absolutely no way I would escort the bully from the play ground. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen. So true. You, the adult, are likely to be arrested if you physically remove the child and take him off of the playground. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 So true. You, the adult, are likely to be arrested if you physically remove the child and take him off of the playground. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 FIRST....talk to the parents. Don't go alone. Calmly relate the your child's experiences with their children and your concern about how to help all of the children play nicely. It's easy to make assumptions about the parents based on the behavior of the children, but unless you know from experience that the parents will not be responsive it is best to at least give them the chance to correct the behavior themselves. It could be that they really are unaware of this behavior. It's hard, but it's the right thing to do. Talking to the parents first also doesn't allow them to complain later about the stupid neighbors who called the cops on innocent kids without even bothering to talk to the parents. Then...Don't let your kids go to the park unsupervised. Teach all of the neighborhood children to stand up, step back facing the bully, palms open in front of the chest in a stop gesture, and yell in a loud firm voice, "Stop! Don't touch me!" or "No! Leave me alone!" That attracts attention and tells the bully the kid is not an easy target. Adults then step in and say something to the bullies if they don't stop immediately. At this point, I'd also talk to the police department to give them a heads up (in that small a town, they can't be completely clueless anyway) and ask them for strategies that families can use at the playground against child bullies. My daughter's father is a police officer and had some good ideas when she was dealing with a girl in our neighborhood. This stopped our neighborhood bully wannabe in her tracks: When she said, "You can't tell me what to do, " dh or I responded, "No, but your parents can. I will walk to their house right now and talk to them if you don't stop/go home/play safely." If that doesn't change things within a very short time, then involve the police. The parents and children won't be able to say that they were blindsided or didn't have fair warning. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted April 29, 2012 Share Posted April 29, 2012 There are other parents who have already stopped taking their children to the park. There have been other parents who have said something to the kids (even a school teacher at their school who had her children down there playing) and the bully's response was "You can't tell me what to do at the park!" Talking to the bully's parents would be useless... Organize. Have two parents, supervise all the good kids, and have the police in speed dial if there is a problem. Keep calling. IMO, small town cops pick up on the trouble makers and keep an extra special "eye" on them. (When hubby was 29 or 30, and packed up with a pregnant wife and leaving town to move 4000 miles away, he ran the beginning of a red light to avoid jamming on the breaks with a trailer and a belted preggers wife in the front. A cop happened to be along side and ticketed him. When he looked at the license, he said "I've been waiting for years to get you". Hubby had been a wild TEEN on a chopper. 10 years down the line, the cop still remembered the name. :lol:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 wow!!! thanks for all of the responses. My children are 11, 10 and 7...the 2 mail bullies are 12 and 8. I am not really sure what we will do next...but for starters, the kids will only play at the park supervised. We do have a locall police sheriff that lives in town, so I will probably call him too. The parents are honestly not going to be helpful...it is not that they are just clueless..they purposefully have no interest in what their children do. I spoke to one of the teachers at the school and received that information. SHe told me if they stayed out to mdnight every night the parents wouldn't care. But one thing is for sure...I won't go down without a fight...my children and the rest of the kids in town have every right to have a safe place to play. Thanks again for all of the advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I would be there any time my kid was there and I would make the bully's life miserable until he shaped up or quit coming. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 I'm hesitant to call the police usually, but pulling someone's clothes off... I know, children have long pantsed each other, but still... it's a form of s*xual assault. I'd call the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 yea, you guys are right about the police, I will start there. thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Notify the parks and rec department (or whoever is in charge of the park) and/or call the cops. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ProudGrandma Posted April 30, 2012 Author Share Posted April 30, 2012 Notify the parks and rec department (or whoever is in charge of the park) and/or call the cops. Tara oh, that is a good idea!! thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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