School Doubts

[UnsinkableKristen]

I am questioning my decision to keep the kids in PS and I MISS homeschooling!

 

We put them in PS in Jan, and I haven't regretted that decision because it was SO NEEDED. My DD2 has turned from a sullen, angry little toddler into such a delight. She needed so much more of me than I could give her at the time. These months of having the day time with her have been wonderful. She's talking more than triple what she was in January and is just so happy!

 

I am so much more relaxed. I don't think I realized how burned out I was until I let it all go. It is silly to be burned out on homeschooling when your oldest is only 7. I did too much, too soon.

 

Our house is cleaner, running better, etc.

 

My DS5 adores kindergarten. He has a fantastic teacher, she is sweet as pie and he never ever complains. He loves art, music, and p.e.

 

DD7 likes school okay, is still smart as a whip, and has a teacher who truly understands her and works with her. I LOVE her teacher. DD7 loves her new friends, loves the cafeteria, and loves recess.

 

But.

 

But.

 

I am NOT happy with the actual education they are getting. DS7 is getting a good Kindergarten education and is certainly doing more fun crafty things than I was doing. They both love the extra stuff that we weren't doing much of (art, music, etc). But DD7 is already forgetting most of the math we were doing, she is being evaluated for the Gifted & Talented program next year, but at best she'll just get MORE work, not BETTER work. And it will be a testing year for her - blech.

 

I am just sitting here knowing that DD7 isn't learning much about grammar, is doing dinky math problems, is being forced to write a bunch of junk, and is not getting to do her favorite stuff: science and history.

 

They both miss history, they miss having shorter school days. They miss their siblings, they miss science and they miss their workbooks "That have REAL math, not this weird stuff." All they get as homework is test prep silliness with no context.

 

I talked with DH and while he was a HUGE supporter of homeschooling, he also sees how much better DD2 is doing and how much more rested I am. He's not really willing to rock that boat. And honestly, I'm not sure that I am either. But I loved having my kids at home and I miss them. I miss the cool things we could study and I miss getting to tailor their education to suit them. I liked being out of the system.

 

I don't really have any answers, so this isn't a JAWM post, but I am interested to hear what the Hive thinks.

 

When homeschooling is best for some, but not for others, what do you do?

[Random]

Kristen :grouphug:

 

I hope the right answer for your family becomes clear to you and your dh.

[WIS0320]

Well, I am not a person who thinks that school is all bad all the time. I think some kids really benefit from an out of home schooling experience. It depends on the particular situation.

 

The needs of the entire family matter more than which math program is being used to teach a child at public school. It sounds like you were not capable of keeping all the balls in the air - which is OK! You've got several young children and it isn't easy.

 

These threads always seem to degenerate into, "anything at home is better than what they get at school" and I just don't buy that. A happy, productive mother, with a peaceful and organized home environment who is able to be a stable and loving partner to her husband is better for kids than having a crazed mother who can't get it all done, messes everywhere and who is crabby because she is overly stressed.

 

There is no reason why you can't do a little math on the weekend or only have 1 homeschooling child if you think that is the better fit for them.

 

Hang in there! I always appreciate posts like this because it means that the mom is thoughtful and really cares and wants the best for her kids even when it isn't immediately clear what that is. It is better to be thoughtful than so tied into an ideology that you can't see the forest for the trees. :)

 

ETA: I reread and my comment about not keeping all the balls in the air sounds kind of mean - I didn't mean it that way! I can relate. I have 6 loads of laundry that are waiting to be folded and I know my husband would appreciate being able to find socks and underwear without pawing through the baskets. *I'm* not keeping all the balls in the air - it isn't easy! I admire you for making hard choices to make your life more manageable.

Edited April 26, 2012 by drexel

[UnsinkableKristen]

ETA: I reread and my comment about not keeping all the balls in the air sounds kind of mean - I didn't mean it that way! I can relate. I have 6 loads of laundry that are waiting to be folded and I know my husband would appreciate being able to find socks and underwear without pawing through the baskets. *I'm* not keeping all the balls in the air - it isn't easy! I admire you for making hard choices to make your life more manageable.

 

No worries! I didn't take it that way at all. I actually agree, I think that having our fourth baby threw me for a loop as far as juggling goes, and I guess what I'm not sure about is whether I needed a temporary break from homeschooling or if quitting altogether is best. Thank you for the kind words, I really appreciate them :)

[Starr]

As your children get older there will be more demands on you after school. That's when I realized I might as well have them home when they weren't tired. It was hard to gear up at 3, get everything done and have them in bed on time. And I really missed them. Along the way you might want to bring them home and school them together.

[UnsinkableKristen]

As your children get older there will be more demands on you after school. That's when I realized I might as well have them home when they weren't tired. It was hard to gear up at 3, get everything done and have them in bed on time. And I really missed them. Along the way you might want to bring them home and school them together.

 

This is kind of what I was thinking. I hate making them do MORE homework at 3 when they have already been in school all day.

[lauracolumbus]

If you're happy with their choices for teachers next year, I'd keep them in at least one more year while you get a little more of a breather. They're happy and in a good place. Your other two are happy, and everything is calmer.

 

I'd just supplement a little w/whatever subjects you think need a little more work. It's amazing how little time you need to put in at that age as long as you do a little bit most days of the week. Maybe an extra 10-15 mins/day/subject. Or some extra time on weekends.

 

At their age, another year in school will not set them back academically. Then you can evaluate each year.

 

I agree w/the pp who said that as your kids get older and you start to deal w/lots of homework that is non-productive, you might as well keep them home.

 

I'm in awe of ppl who can homeschool with several littles hanging around the house--esp. toddlers.

 

Laura

[Samiam]

It's going to be your decision in the end, but as I read your statement, you blamed ALL of the household problems on homeschooling. EVERYTHING has gotten better since you stopped homeschooling.

 

I have to wonder how much of that is accurate, or if it's just a bit skewed because you were burned out.

 

As far as the toddler, while I no doubt think that one on one time is amazing for any child, I also think that to label a "under age two- child' as sullen and angry, is well, comical. I mean, they are going through such amazing changes at that age, and so quickly. Is it possible that the changes you have seen have less to do with being home alone with you and just more about growing up and moving through a "sullen and angry" stage?

 

As far as the rest of the household being cleaner, running smoother, sure, homeschooling takes a bit chunk of a mom's life.

 

The house won't always be perfect, every meal won't be made from scratch. Life is hectic, especially when you have several young children around all the time, and some days are better than others.

 

So I'd have to say that if you decide that you want to homeschool again, walk in with certain expectations lowered. EVERYTHING won't be smooth, perfect, cleaned and exact all day, every day. That expectation leads to burn out.

 

As a homeschooling mommy, my number one priority each day when I get up is the education and well being/happiness of my child. Everything in the house takes a back-burner. My house isn't always as clean as I'd like, I can't cook meals that require intensive prep. I don't get to go do alot of things for ME. As the children get older, they can help more, they make less of a mess,etc. Gradually I found that I have more time to clean, cook, and even sit down for a minute or two.

 

When your children look back at their childhood, they aren't going to remember that the house wasn't perfect. They will remember the time they spent with you and your general life attitude.

 

So if having them in public school makes you the best mom you can be overall, then so be it. It works for some, and that's great.

 

If you think that homeschooling would make their life better, and you can still be the best mom you can be, then go that route.

[butterflymommy]

We put 4 in school in Feb. 1 is still HSed. Many of the things you describe we've experienced.

 

I'm more relaxed, most of the girls are happier (one is kind of stressed but she was anxious and high strung before), the house is cleaner, and they love all the extracurriculars.

 

But the academics are barely average and a solid 50% of what they do is test prep for state standardized tests. And for 3 of my 4 girls there is no academic challenge whatsoever.

 

As for me, I miss the family time. I'm also rather :glare::glare::glare: that only AFTER we put them in school, DH decides to help out with field trips on the weekends.

[ktgrok]

If you homeschool again, what could you or would you change? could you move to a year round schedule, and do less days per week or less hours per day, to give you more time with the 2 year old?

[UnsinkableKristen]

It's going to be your decision in the end, but as I read your statement, you blamed ALL of the household problems on homeschooling. EVERYTHING has gotten better since you stopped homeschooling.

 

I have to wonder how much of that is accurate, or if it's just a bit skewed because you were burned out.

 

I think you have a very good point. I was really, really burned out. Perhaps having had a break I would be better able to handle the juggling - or maybe have a better perspective having seen that the grass certainly isn't perfect over here :)

 

As far as the toddler, while I no doubt think that one on one time is amazing for any child, I also think that to label a "under age two- child' as sullen and angry, is well, comical. I mean, they are going through such amazing changes at that age, and so quickly. Is it possible that the changes you have seen have less to do with being home alone with you and just more about growing up and moving through a "sullen and angry" stage?

 

If I hadn't watched it with my own eyes, I would agree. Less than a week after we put the big kids in school, Allie became a different child. Everyone who has contact with her commented on the changes. I can't express it very well, but she was just... unhappy. The kind of unhappy that isn't normal - even for a toddler. I think it is probable that she would have begun to talk more even if we had kept homeschooling, but I also think that she is one of those children that just need MORE of their parents than others. But that is a challenge even without homeschooling. The minute the big kids get home she becomes more difficult.

 

 

 

You gave me a lot to think about - thank you!!

[besroma]

Kristen,

 

Have you thought about bringing the older ones home, and taking the little one to a half-day program?

 

Would that give her the social time you are finding helpful for her while making it easier for you to teach the older ones?

[UnsinkableKristen]

If you homeschool again, what could you or would you change? could you move to a year round schedule, and do less days per week or less hours per day, to give you more time with the 2 year old?

 

 

This is what I'm trying to piece out in my head. I'm so glad I asked here, I KNEW you all would help me work through this.

 

I was thinking that maybe a designated time each day with just she and I, like a Tot School kind of thing? Or maybe just making sure to snuggle her during Sesame Street while the big kids do some independent work...?

[UnsinkableKristen]

Kristen,

 

Have you thought about bringing the older ones home, and taking the little one to a half-day program?

 

Would that give her the social time you are finding helpful for her while making it easier for you to teach the older ones?

 

 

I'm not sure. I don't know if its me she needs or just some time where her siblings don't over shadow her. She's a bit of a pill in Sunday School, so I think it may just be Mommy Time she needs. That said, I think that if I did bring them home, a Mother's Day Out 2x/week thing may be good for her. It would be something just for her.

 

 

And for what it's worth, I ADORE my DD2. She is snuggly, wonderful, and quite possibly the cutest child to have ever walked the earth. I just love her to pieces. But she is so different than my other 2 (still learning about #4 ) that I don't quite have a handle on her. Ah, but that's parenting, isn't it? I would just hate for anyone to think that I viewed her negatively.

[Photo Ninja]

You have some reasonable ideas on how to make hsing work,if you decide that is the best decision. It is important to have one on one time with all your dc, even the ones not doing school work. Another point is that as your dc get older, they will be able to do more on their own, even as second or third graders. They won't need you to sit beside them all the time, giving you more time for juggling those balls and spending time with your youngest.

 

If you decide to keep your older dc in school another year, then you can still include history and science into your week. Pick some good living history books and make them your read alouds at night after dinner. They are not textbooks and won't seem schoolish or be extra work. That may help your dd to get her history fix and help her maintain her interest in history, which I personally would make a priority since schools spend so little time on history and science. You could alternate with science books, or make Saturdays science days and do some experiments or science activities on Saturdays since those take more time than is reasonably available after school. You can't do anything about the time the school spends on test prep instead of on education, but you can add some of that education at home. Math is harder to work in without it seeming like more schoolwork after a long day at school, but if you can find some computer games that teach and reinforce math, your dc may enjoy playing those, refreshing their math skills in a fun way. Go to the library often and be sure you check out some books your dc pick as well as some you choose because you know they are books you want your dc to read or books you want to read to them. It may be that after doing this for a year to give your youngest time to mature a bit more, you would be able to bring one or all of your dc home again and have a better idea of how to keep all those balls in the air most the time (none of us keep them in the air all the time!).

[mommyto4]

I have four children, too. I waited until my youngest was 20 months before I started homeschooling. My third was and is a challenging child, with terrible sleep issues, sensory issues, and behavioral difficulties. It wasn't until he was three and a half, and I was finally getting some sleep and knew better how to help him, that I could home school. We are almost done our second year and I don't at all regret sending my two oldest to school.

 

Because your children are in school now doesn't mean they can't be home schooled in a year or two. You may have to re-teach some things, but it will be fine.

[meggie]

What about taking the summer to do a serious housecleaning boot camp for the older two? Teach them the chores they need to do and create your system. It will be extremely time intensive, but maybe it would pay off in a few months where you don't have to do so much of the cleaning yourself?

 

You could also use it as a time to get in a freezer meal making routine. Or find some kind of system that will work for meals.

 

Maybe with those two things in place, adding homeschooling wouldn't be as hard.

 

And maybe consider giving the 2 year old some things to do while you work with the older two. Here's a blog I wrote about incorporating Digby into our school day. It's worked really well. He is a constant interruption and he's a hugable, snugable fellow, so he's always climbing on me and trying to get me to hold him. I hold him as best as I can while I talk to Pigby around him.

 

We bought lockable filing cabinets and put a ton of fun stuff in there (scour Pinterest if you have to). Only let one thing out at a time.

 

Good luck in whatever you decide. You've got a "I can so totally relate" sister in me (only I have three, not four. See how much more amazing you are than me?:lol:) :grouphug:

[PhotoGal]

It sounds like things are going really well with the kids in school. If my kids were in that situation, I would happily keep them in school at least until something changed that made me reevaluate.

 

Maybe you could do a bunch of fun history over the summer? Remember you will have them home with you for a few months and you can do a lot of things together then.

 

For math, is it possible to talk to the teacher and see if you can send in math for them to do that is at their level? If that is the main thing that you are worried about, you may be able to work with the school to fix that.

 

Best of luck to you! I think things will be fine either way. :D

[iamrachelle]

You've gotten some great advice and ideas, so I'll try not to repeat anything. :tongue_smilie:

 

I just wanted to say that no matter what decision you make, it's not permanent. I don't think homeschooling as to be an all or nothing thing.

 

There have been seasons in my family when we have homeschooled, and seasons where my children have gone to a brick and mortar school.

 

I think there can be a lot of learning done outside of books... leave them in school if your sweet family needs a breather and it seems to be running more smoothly. Take a break, regroup and bring them back home in another year and let them concentrate on academics when they homeschool... as long as your children have a love of learning they will "get" any information they need to succeed in life.

 

There's no right or wrong answer here... you just have to follow your heart and do what fits for your family at this moment.

[Night Elf]

If you homeschool again, what could you or would you change? could you move to a year round schedule, and do less days per week or less hours per day, to give you more time with the 2 year old?

 

:iagree: OP, you also said you were doing too much too fast. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that is why the classical method didn't work too well for us. I felt like our days were so full with me trying to get all those subjects done. And then I was using more than one LA program to cover reading, spelling, grammar, and writing. And I was using more than one Math program because it seemed like everyone else on the board was doing it and I worried my kids wouldn't be smart enough without it. And the writing we had to do for copywork and dictation. I had to fit Science experiments in and heaven forbid I drop the foreign language. Oh it was a mess! I finally came to the realization that most of that could be consolidated into one program per subject and we didn't even do it all as planned in each program. We were all happier and our days became much more relaxed. I don't know what your schooling days looked like, but maybe you could cut back on stuff so you don't feel so burned out.

 

Wait until summer to figure out what to do for next year. Maybe letting them stay in another year would be okay. I also like the idea of bringing home just one. Your son sounds like he is doing well in school. Staying for 1st grade isn't going to be the end of the world.

 

It's hard. I put my youngest dd in school and took her out at least once every year from 1st through 5th grades. I was so torn about schooling for her. I wish I had been more consistent with her, but everything turned out well. She's a bright, independent young lady. She'll be going to high school in the Fall, but that's another story. :)

[Chris in VA]

This is just my opinion, FWIW, and I know some have made it work beautifully, but I would not split your kids so that some of them are homeschooling and some at home. I just found it made my middle son feel left out--he did not want to homeschool, but he wanted to feel more a part of things. It is a tender place to me, so please take it with a grain of salt, but I just would keep them together, whatever you decide.

 

I'd also try to tweak what you did before, realizing what was burning you out, and incorporating the fact that everyone in your household will be older and at another stage next fall. You won't have a brand new baby, you won't have a tiny toddler (still young, tho! lol), and you will be doing 1st and 2nd grade, which are easy to combine in history and science, but don't need more than 3 hours of school.

 

Maybe a good, close look at the curricula, methods and philosophy of your homeschool would be in order.

 

I will also say that, imo, the more they are in public school, the harder it will be to transition back to home, as they get used to the level of stimulation/social interaction. I know for us, dd is having a lovely experience in ps, and she is so enjoying her friends and learning with them in a group. It will be difficult to find that next year at home. YMMV hugely--just my experience.

[Stacy in NJ]

resources for homeschoolers in your area?

 

I found, and still find, it difficult to do everything at home. A good co-op can offer you dc the enrichment and socialization that they crave while still doing the core subjects at home.

[UnsinkableKristen]

Thanks everyone!

 

DH and I talked last night a little bit (before we dove into Pei Wei and The Big Bang Theory :D) and he suggested that since we are going to have to get used to the big kids being home all day during the summer anyway, that we use that time to do a trial run of homeschooling again. We would let them have a couple of weeks to decompress, and then do 4-6 weeks of homeschooling using the materials that we currently have (at least, the ones we know that we all like). If it is a spectacular failure and we find that we don't think it is something we want to continue, then they can go back to PS as planned - no harm, no foul. If it works wonderfully, or well enough that we know we can tweak things to how we want them, then we will keep going.

 

I asked the kids on the walk to school today how they would feel about a short Summer Homeschool and they both said they would really like that. My DD7 said "Great! Then I can actually do history and my math book!" and DS5 said "Then I can work on my good ole math book again. I miss that guy." LOL :D

 

I feel good giving it a shot while we are in a circumstance that is naturally occurring. We will already be adjusting to having the kids home during summer break with regards to cleaning, etc., so I think that is a good time to see how adding homeschooling feels.

 

 

Thank you all SO MUCH for your ideas and opinions. It really helped to get this out of my head and spitball with other people who understand the desire to homeschool vs. the difficulties :).

[WIS0320]

How about this? Is there anyway to bring the bigger two home and find a PreK program for your 2 year old next year?

 

Really, there are only so many hours in a day. Little kids take a lot of work and are capable of raining mayhem down on a well planned day. My son was 3 in the fall and I put him in 3 afternoon per week PreK. He loves all the cotton ball crafts and play time with friends and I get 3 solid hours while my littlest naps to get school done with my first grader.

 

I know some people are die hard homeschoolers (which is great!) and would never use outside preK but for us I found that it was a sanity saver, allowed me to really focus on my first grader and do some fun things and also keep my house in reasonable running order as I had the morning to get errands/chores/bill paying completed. And my son had a ball going those days as it kept him busy and doing fun things that I don't have time to do at home right now.

 

Next year my 2 year old and my 4 year old will be in morning PreK. I will school my 2nd grader while they are out and when they get home the 2 year old will nap and my 4 year old will do MP K with me (he's accelerated and dying to do school like his sis). My older child will go to an outside private all girls school for enrichment 2 times per week during that afternoon period (chess and STEM) and meet with her Drama Club one afternoon per week. I'll get the same amount of alone time with my son as I get with my second grader which is great!

 

I think it is finding a way to give them each attention, give yourself attention and take care of household responsibilities. PreK isn't cheap and I don't know what your financial situation is or if you'd even consider it. But I don't see how I could do this at this point in my life without outsourcing some things. I also have a cleaning lady 2x per month.

 

Anyway, good luck! I know I replied earlier but I thought I'd share how I personally managed to juggle things this year and even with all this outsourcing I still am chronically behind on laundry and my floors only get vacuumed and mopped once a week!

[DianeW88]

Well, I am one of those die-hard homeschoolers, whose children have never been to a brick and mortar school, so with that in mind....

 

I never would have sent them to PS in the first place. Yes, it's difficult with a toddler and older kids. VERY difficult. But's it's do-able. When my youngest was a toddler, my other two were in seventh and fifth grade and required a lot of intensive school time. I did everything I could to keep him busy, but he had to learn that school was just as important as he was, and that my older kiddos deserved the attention they were getting. I filled the sink and let him stand on a chair in front of it and play with cups, bowls, spoons, etc. It was a mess, but easily cleaned up. He had playdough, paints, etc. It kept him reasonably occupied and I was able to work with my olders. They also took turns watching him for fifteen minutes at a time when I needed to work with an older child.

 

What caught my attention is that you said this toddler is grumpy and out of sorts when your older kids come home from school in the afternoon. So basically, she wants all your attention all the time. Uh....no. To me (from your posts, I have no other info), it sounds like she manipulates you to get you to focus on her completely, and when you don't, she pouts and sulks. Wouldn't happen here, because that is setting a very dangerous precedent. Toddler needs to learn that she WILL have to share mom because you have four kids, and your attention WILL have to be divided. And being grumpy while you are being the mother that your other kiddos also need to have, is not acceptable. It's a hard lesson, but one that needs to be taught earlier rather than later. Otherwise you end up with a spoiled little diva who thinks the world should revolve around her.

 

I also wouldn't have sent mine to PS, because I think once they get into bad learning habits (like crappy math), it's very hard to break them...especially in the younger grades. They are taught the way the system needs to teach large groups of kids to score well on standardized tests. It doesn't always translate into learning for understanding. Parents who put their kids in PS for the younger grades and then pull them out in the middle elementary years often find they have to re-teach almost everything, and in fact...they are behind. If you're already seeing them not being challenged and wasting their time...it will only get worse.

 

And homeschooling often means a less than perfect house and less than perfect meals. It's a trade-off. You have to decide what is most important in your family. It sounds like you enjoy having your kids in PS and the freedom that brings you...so maybe that is what works best for you. But if that's the case, then I would have ALL my kiddos in PS. I think homeschooling some, but not others, leaves children feeling excluded from special family moments and pushed aside. I truly believe it is an all or nothing type deal.

 

Anyway, that's the other side of the PS/homeschool debate. But in the end, you should do what works for you.

[Haiku]

My oldest dd has been in school for six years, so I know what it's like to have a child in school long-term.

 

Honestly, I would do anything I could to avoid it, were I you. I would find a way to combine the 7 and 5 year olds in the content subjects and perhaps go with a loop schedule so that everything gets completed but your days are shorter.

 

I will also say that, as the kids get older, homeschooling gets easier.

 

Given that you're not satisfied with the education they are getting, I'd do whatever I could to make homeschooling work so they can get a good education.

 

Tara

[ktgrok]

Also, could you look into a hybrid program? Here we have a few places that are "private schools" that have 1, 2, or 3 day a week programs for homeschoolers. They are drop and go, which works better than a co-op for those of us with little kids. Personally the money is not worth it for me, and my son has no interest, but it might work for you.

[UnsinkableKristen]

This is just my opinion, FWIW, and I know some have made it work beautifully, but I would not split your kids so that some of them are homeschooling and some at home. I just found it made my middle son feel left out--he did not want to homeschool, but he wanted to feel more a part of things. It is a tender place to me, so please take it with a grain of salt, but I just would keep them together, whatever you decide.

 

I'd also try to tweak what you did before, realizing what was burning you out, and incorporating the fact that everyone in your household will be older and at another stage next fall. You won't have a brand new baby, you won't have a tiny toddler (still young, tho! lol), and you will be doing 1st and 2nd grade, which are easy to combine in history and science, but don't need more than 3 hours of school.

 

Maybe a good, close look at the curricula, methods and philosophy of your homeschool would be in order.

 

I will also say that, imo, the more they are in public school, the harder it will be to transition back to home, as they get used to the level of stimulation/social interaction. I know for us, dd is having a lovely experience in ps, and she is so enjoying her friends and learning with them in a group. It will be difficult to find that next year at home. YMMV hugely--just my experience.

 

We won't be splitting them up - I agree with you :). I think I'm going to look at some of the things we were doing and see what was working best and why, and then see how I can apply that to the things that were not going well.

 

I know that they will miss the interaction, but I also know that DD7 mentions weekly how overwhelming all the noise is. She misses the ability to eat lunch quietly :).

:iagree: OP, you also said you were doing too much too fast. I am going to go out on a limb here and say that is why the classical method didn't work too well for us. I felt like our days were so full with me trying to get all those subjects done. And then I was using more than one LA program to cover reading, spelling, grammar, and writing. And I was using more than one Math program because it seemed like everyone else on the board was doing it and I worried my kids wouldn't be smart enough without it. e experiments in and heaven forbid I drop the foreign language. Oh it was a mess!

 

Yes! I know my kids are young and I am pretty sure that I was looking at all the veteran homeschoolers and trying to do EVERYTHING they were doing all at once. By trying to do what everyone else was doing I was missing the best part of homeschooling - tailoring it to fit my family - and burning myself out in the process.

 

 

What caught my attention is that you said this toddler is grumpy and out of sorts when your older kids come home from school in the afternoon. So basically, she wants all your attention all the time. Uh....no. To me (from your posts, I have no other info), it sounds like she manipulates you to get you to focus on her completely, and when you don't, she pouts and sulks. Wouldn't happen here, because that is setting a very dangerous precedent. Toddler needs to learn that she WILL have to share mom because you have four kids, and your attention WILL have to be divided. And being grumpy while you are being the mother that your other kiddos also need to have, is not acceptable. It's a hard lesson, but one that needs to be taught earlier rather than later. Otherwise you end up with a spoiled little diva who thinks the world should revolve around her.

 

It's difficult to discern what is a need and what is a manipulation with a 2 year old :). I feel very happy with our decision to put the kids in school and to focus some time on DD2. She needed it and benefited from it. However, I agree that too much of that will NOT benefit her. We have used the focused time with her to work on behavior and attitude (all those 2 year old things) and I do think that she will continue to improve. I'm wondering how to fill her need for attention without over filling it, you know? I don't want her to think she needs to be the star of the show, but neither do I want her to feel lost in the crowd of siblings.

 

I also wouldn't have sent mine to PS, because I think once they get into bad learning habits (like crappy math), it's very hard to break them...especially in the younger grades. They are taught the way the system needs to teach large groups of kids to score well on standardized tests. It doesn't always translate into learning for understanding. Parents who put their kids in PS for the younger grades and then pull them out in the middle elementary years often find they have to re-teach almost everything, and in fact...they are behind. If you're already seeing them not being challenged and wasting their time...it will only get worse.

 

UGH. The crappy math. It's only been 4 months and she's forgotten how to carry while subtracting. What are they teaching her?? Oh yes. Test prep. :ack2:

 

And homeschooling often means a less than perfect house and less than perfect meals. It's a trade-off. You have to decide what is most important in your family. It sounds like you enjoy having your kids in PS and the freedom that brings you...so maybe that is what works best for you. But if that's the case, then I would have ALL my kiddos in PS. I think homeschooling some, but not others, leaves children feeling excluded from special family moments and pushed aside. I truly believe it is an all or nothing type deal.

 

I do really enjoy the freedom. A lot. I don't miss having to take four kids to the doctor because one has to get routine shots. I don't miss having to try to balance nursing a baby while teaching math. But I MISS my kids. I miss seeing them learn something for the first time that I taught them. I miss the flexibility of our school days. And I really miss my kids.

[UnsinkableKristen]

Double post - sorry :)

[Haiku]

I think homeschooling some, but not others, leaves children feeling excluded from special family moments and pushed aside. I truly believe it is an all or nothing type deal.

 

For some it may be, but it depends on the kid. I homeschooled my dd-now-17 the first year we had her, when she was a pre-teen. She then went to school (starting in 6th grade). For the first two years she was in school (which is where she wanted to be), she did sometimes feel left out and complain. By the time she got to 8th grade, she no longer cared. Although I am unhappy with her being in school, she loves being in school (even though she gripes about her school being very demanding, which it is, she likes going to school) and she has less than zero desire to be homeschooled. She says she does not feel left out of what we do because she has her own stuff to focus on. It may also help that she is 7 1/2 years older than the next oldest child, so her interests are different, and the activities we do wouldn't be her cuppa.

 

Although I wish I could homeschool my dd17, I know that, for our family and our circumstances, it is not a possibility and it is definitely better for her to be in school. I definitely don't think it's an all-or-nothing deal.

 

Tara

[Parrothead]

I didn't read all of the responses. So maybe this has been pointed out already.

 

You added a baby mid year. That is enough to throw anyone or a loop.

 

I think you ought to just let the kids finish out the school year. It is only 5 or 6 more weeks. At that point you'll have them all home again for summer break. About half way through break re-evaluate how things are going. Has the baby set a schedule for herself? Is the toddler still thriving? Are the older two looking forward to public school or would they rather homeschool again?

 

To have burned out mid way through your eldest 2nd grade year says that you were doing too much and pushing too hard. Can you homeschool again and at the same time back off a bit? Formal 3rd grade work shouldn't take more than 3 or so hours. First grade 1.5 hours tops. You could almost complete school during nap time for the littles.

[UnsinkableKristen]

To have burned out mid way through your eldest 2nd grade year says that you were doing too much and pushing too hard. Can you homeschool again and at the same time back off a bit? Formal 3rd grade work shouldn't take more than 3 or so hours. First grade 1.5 hours tops. You could almost complete school during nap time for the littles.

 

 

What a good idea. I never tried to do school while the little ones napped, I was so tired that I shuffled everyone off to their own rooms (or our room) and I fell asleep on the couch. But if I am tapping down some of the crazy expectations, going at a more relaxed and steady pace, then I could do some of the more instructional things while the babies are sleeping and not need my nap :D.

[Sara R]

Any classical charter schools in your area? We have them in my area, and that's how our family solved a similar problem.