Fill in the blank: You might be a homeschooler if . . .

[Harriet Vane]

My teen dd is going to be JokeMaster at an upcoming meeting and wants to deliver some really hilarious material about homeschoolers.

 

Fill in the blank:

 

You might be a homeschooler if . . .

[itsheresomewhere]

When you find out that the university near you gives tours of the biology and physics labs and that makes you giddy.

 

When ten or more lesson plans pop in your head after find that out.

[dangermom]

There was somebody here who posted about their kids having a Viking funeral in the bathtub and setting the shower curtain on fire or something. I vote you find it and ask if you can use it.

[Dmmetler]

You dance with excitement when the UPS truck pulls up-with a new math book!

 

Your child's favorite iPad app is "Rat dissection".

 

Your child is upset when you bury your dead pet cat-because you didn't mummify it first.

Edited February 28, 2012 by dmmetler

[Mrs Mungo]

You have mummified a chicken.

 

Your kids tell jokes about ancient Britons.

 

You have more bookcases than some people have books.

 

You know your UPS guy by name.

[itsheresomewhere]

There was somebody here who posted about their kids having a Viking funeral in the bathtub and setting the shower curtain on fire or something. I vote you find it and ask if you can use it.

 

I need to read that.

[NotAVampireLvr]

if the kids next door knock on the door after school and your 7 y.o. accidentally answers the door in his underwear (true story!)

 

you're explaining laws of addition over coffee at 6:30 in the morning to a "1st grader"

 

mummy and chicken are in the same sentence and it doesn't sound weird

 

you're on a first name basis with your local librarian

 

on the subject of libraries... you saved your big stroller so you could roll books in and out of the library

[elegantlion]

Your children have never experienced riding in the back of a school bus.

 

from the dc perspective:

 

The dog actually has eaten your homework and the teacher knows it's the truth because she witnessed it.

 

You can quote the list of Roman leaders in chronological order, but you have to think about how to tie your shoes

 

You don't wear shoes to school hence the above

 

You don't know what it's like to read while sitting upright in a chair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

from the parental perspective:

 

you do a living lab experiment by watching the ants invading your pantry before you kill them all.

 

Your wardrobe has gotten smaller, while your bookcases have started to overflow

 

Your real girlfriends know that when you say let's go shopping you mean the bookstore, not the shoe store.

 

You've asked for Amazon prime for a holiday gift

 

the last good book you read was designed for ages 9-12

[Therese]

continuing the subject of libraries:

 

if your library card is registered (and used regularly) at no fewer than 7 area libraries (or is it 8? You can't remember!)

[Harriet Vane]

These are hilarious!

 

Keep 'em coming . . . :lurk5:

[Element]

... your school supply list includes insect repellent. :D

[swellmomma]

You think of ways to preserve the giant hornets nest for the nature table while destroying all the hornets, and when there is no way to do so use it as a dissection lesson

 

Your kids call every family outting a field trip

 

You christmas list includes teacher guides, a globe and Mr. Sketch markers

 

ETA: You look at every new experience wondering how you can integrate it into your learning

 

Family vacation means historical landmarks, museums, art galleries, and nature preserves.

Edited February 28, 2012 by swellmomma

[West Coast Mom]

You are eating dinner at a restaurant with your husband and you notice a sign on the wall:

 

Happy Hour

Monday – Wednesday (3-6)

 

After thinking about it, you STILL have no idea why they would advertise Happy Hour to a bunch of third through sixth graders. Or, is that for three to six year olds? Let’s just say it took me a few minutes to figure it out and I wasn’t even drinking. I need to stop reading curriculum catalogs.

[plain jane]

You can quote the list of Roman leaders in chronological order, but you have to think about how to tie your shoes

 

 

 

 

:lol::lol: :smilielol5::smilielol5::lol::lol:

 

Heh heh heh. I absolutely love this. So true, so true... :tongue_smilie:

[Donna]

...your house is overflowing with books and you have more bookcases than any other kind of furniture which don't even contain all the books you own.

 

...a curriculum catalog in the mail makes your day.

[laughing lioness]

Your pre schooler conjugates UffDah

You think of unit studies and lap books as you do read-alouds.

 

The first thing you grab when your house is on fire is the Algebra book and the laminated VP cards.

 

You get as much curriculum and books from well meaning homeschoolers after a house fire as you do clothes andhousehold items.

 

They day you unpack your books after moving (or a house fire) is a day where everybody sits around, picks up old favorites and reads, sharing out loud favorite passages, or saying, "Ohh, I forgot how good this one was!"

 

Your pinterest boards are decidedly lopsided in favor of homeschooling pins.

 

Your kids know where the beaver lives on the river and thier dog has swum alongside of it.

[athena1277]

...you beg to diagram sentences.

 

...you go on a field trip on Christmas day. (Last year we went to Medieval Times on Christmas day, which was really great!)

[elegantlion]

True from ds:

 

I hate English, I wish we all had to speak Japanese or Latin.

 

If algebra has 3x's then it's been married too many times

 

 

 

 

You rewrite a Shakespeare sonnet in Dirty Jobs style or redneck style. Then you tell your ds that memorizing Shakespearean sonnets will help him pick up girls one day - I want him to date smart women.

 

You put scotch tape on your arm, pull off the dead skin, and look at it under the microscope.

[Tarreymere]

....school is temporarily interrupted when the cat falls asleep on your math book and you can't turn the page.

[NotAVampireLvr]

....school is temporarily interrupted when the cat falls asleep on your math book and you can't turn the page.

 

 

best one here. So true!

[swellmomma]

Box day is better than Christmas

 

You wait eagerly for April 1st not to play pranks but because the new curriculum catalogues are released that day

 

The thought of being in a convention hall for 2 days with 1000 other people is looked forward to all year. And swoon if you find that *perfect* math, grammar, writing whatever program and NO SHIPPING because you found it at conference.

[chepyl]

You grow gross things in your kitchen....on purpose.

[KatieJ]

There are maps hanging on the walls in your living room.

 

You are the only one on your block doing Math on snow days.

(I let them go outside after math was done for the day to motivate them to just get it done!)

[Xilka]

... your school supply list includes insect repellent. :D

 

I Love That!

[Xilka]

...you have discovered that the secret to being smarter than everyone else is spending the better part of your day in pajamas.

[Trilliums]

These have been great! So true!

 

A few from the kids:

 

You listen to your neighbor complain about her public school french class and you ask her why she doesn't just study french on her own. And then you tell her about the program she could use.

 

You can take a break from math lessons to make finger claws out of dental picks and band aids.

 

You don't know what grade you are in/you are in different grades for different subjects/you have to think about it when someone asks you what grade you are in.

 

You can go on a trip without worrying about whether or not it is spring break!

 

Your kitchen decor consists of a large periodic table and laminated world maps.

[Rockhopper]

I know I'm late to the party -- and this one won't exactly roll off the tongue for your son's performance, but I'm still giggling that my 12 yo homeschooler thought, in all seriousness, that his homegrown joke was a) hilarious and b) easily understood by all:

 

What's the difference between the great Greek warrior Achilles and a puppy?

 

Eventually the puppy quits whining!

[Mama Anna]

You suddenly realize you should stop producing hydrogen gas in your science experiment so your kitchen doesn't explode.

 

:D

 

Mama Anna

[Kirch]

I know I'm late to the party -- and this one won't exactly roll off the tongue for your son's performance, but I'm still giggling that my 12 yo homeschooler thought, in all seriousness, that his homegrown joke was a) hilarious and b) easily understood by all:

 

What's the difference between the great Greek warrior Achilles and a puppy?

 

Eventually the puppy quits whining!

 

:lol: That's pretty clever!

[Rockhopper]

:lol: That's pretty clever!

 

I thought so too (shameless mom brag) but he was just annoyed that he had to explain it to the younger sibs!

[Tiffnkids]

When your child can correct an adult's grammar, but doesn't because it might be disrespectful.

 

Actual conversation -

 

DS to coach: My mom will drive my friend and me to practice.

 

Coach: My friend AND I. My friend AND I.

 

DS to me: I guess my coach never learned that a subject is a subject and an object is an object. I didn't want to make him feel bad, so I didn't explain it.

 

(Thank you MCT)