How do handle this teachers request?

[simka2]

Ds6's 1st grade teacher has asked me to spend entire days at school with ds. I have done this for 2 days in a row now. Her reasoning was for me to keep him on task as he was struggling with how fast they moved through things.

 

After 2 days I have concerns. They go through about 4 saxon and a grammar worksheet a day. Teacher has a smartboard/projector and she reads through the worksheet writes in the answers and that's that. The problem is she does this really fast!!! I had a difficult time keeping up with her. It is literally read the question ask a student the answer, fill it in, on to the next. I can see this in the older grades, but these kids are not even close to reading fluently. Once she has gone through the sheet they get a few minutes and then whatever is not finished comes home as homework.

 

My ds is not the only child struggling. I spent some time looking around the class and noticed quite a few not even making an effort to follow along.

 

I realize the teacher has a difficult job. Many, if not most, of the students are from very low income families. I watched one little girl arrive 3 hours late because, "her mommy wouldn't wake up to take her." This was her 4th tardy day that week. The teachers own words were that she has a class of "hoodlums."

 

Here are my thoughts. I am feeling guilty that I do not want to go to his class during the day. I could make some good excuses like not being able to leave the farm animals, but the truth is I felt like I was frustrating ds more than helping. What are your thoughts?

 

He is happy there. He loves being around the other kids, he is not disruptive. He just hasn't learned to hide from the teacher that he is confused...he asks for help, the others just put it in their cubbies to take home. The teacher never see the worksheets until after they have gone home as homework and the kids do not ask questions in class.

 

Sorry, for the length of this, but I would appreciate your thoughts.

[Roadrunner]

I don't know how, but the teacher needs to be told it's not just your child having trouble keeping up. While I don't think spending several days in the classroom is a big deal, it certainly isn't sustainable in the long term.

I know I am not helping here, but frankly I don't know what I would do. I would maybe try to line up some of the parents?

[regentrude]

I consider the teacher's request that you be present for whole days completely unprofessional.

If this is any kind of normal school, the teacher is supposed to teach without the parents in the classroom. Unless the child in question has extreme special needs that would require a full-time assistant, a teacher who needs a parent present is not teaching properly. It is the teacher's job to keep students on task.

I would request a meeting with the teacher to discuss this, and if necessary bring the matter up with the principal. I would mention my son's difficulties (and maybe share some observations about the teaching and other students), but I would be adamant that I do not send my child to their school to be present in the classroom on a daily basis. (Besides, I find your presence creates a distraction for all the other students)

[Barb_]

I would be ticked, Simka. Asking a parent to sit with a neurotypical child full time is completely unreasonable. She isn't doing her job and it sounds like her attitude kinda stinks.

 

My son is in 1st this year. He isn't too big on homework, but we're working on him. After school he's all about the legos, so I mention homework once and that's it. I've told his teacher that I believe homework should be between the two of them, and not about me. I won't nag him and make it my problem so that when he does accomplish it, the success is his alone. His teacher is totally on board with that. She wants to see progress over the course of the year, just as I do. Growing up is a process. It doesn't sound like your son's teacher appreciates that fact.

[lmrich]

That is odd. I would never have wanted a parent in the class for the whole day; it sends the message to the child that he/she needs mom to do the work. I would let the teacher know the truth. Your child can not keep up; how many others can't? Why is this? A teacher's job is not to just do the curriculum; it is to teach the children. Anyone can use a Saxon instructor's manual and go over the answer etc. It doesn't sound like she is teaching and certainly not inspiring the children. I have worked in a very improvished school. ALL kids can learn. ALL kids can thrive in a wonderful, nurturing first grade classroom.

 

Good luck!

[Ester Maria]

I consider the teacher's request that you be present for whole days completely unprofessional.

If this is any kind of normal school, the teacher is supposed to teach without the parents in the classroom. Unless the child in question has extreme special needs that would require a full-time assistant, a teacher who needs a parent present is not teaching properly. It is the teacher's job to keep students on task.

I would request a meeting with the teacher to discuss this, and if necessary bring the matter up with the principal. I would mention my son's difficulties (and maybe share some observations about the teaching and other students), but I would be adamant that I do not send my child to their school to be present in the classroom on a daily basis. (Besides, I find your presence creates a distraction for all the other students)

:iagree:

[simka2]

Thanks everyone! I was feeling rather uncomfortable with the request, but I wanted to support the teacher and my son. This particular child is the poster child for neurotypical. He is bright, socially confident and good at expressing his wants and needs. He just is a 6yr old boy who cannot follow through multiple back to back worksheets at a break neck speed.

 

I believe I am meeting with the teachers and the principal sometime next week to discuss how everyone is settling in and what the plan is going to be for my ADHD/dyslexic son (4th grade) and if dd(5th) needs further speech therapy.

[BabyBre]

I'd first try to move him to another classroom. This teacher sounds like she's burned out by her class of first grade hoodlums. :glare: If you can't switch, I guess I'd try to have your ds do his best in class, but then do bring the worksheet home where you can more effectively go over it with him.

 

The request that you come in for full days is rediculously over-the-top. It sounds like she's trying to take advantage of your availability and willingness to help out, and get out of taking the responsibility herself. Please don't give her any excuses about farm animals. Tell her you're willing to come in during whatever time a couple days a week (or whatever reasonable amount of time you're willing to spend), but that you think ds needs the opportunity to follow along under his own power. He's in first grade, the consequences are small, and I assume (as you're on the afterschooling board) that you're ensuring his proper education to the best of your ability from home.

 

However, I absolutely do recommend you spend some time in this classroom - enough to get a feeling for the caliber of education you're ds is actually receiving - but spending several full days per week is unreasonable and really won't do ds any favors.

 

Good luck!

[Carol in Cal.]

Stop and think how this would be positioned by someone who was defensive. "I gave her every opportunity to participate in her son's class, but she was unwilling to do so. I told her that she could come ANY TIME! and she complained to the principal that I was not doing my job. Can you believe it?"

 

It's not uncommon for teachers to ban parents from their children's classrooms. I would be FAR more concerned about that possibility.

 

I don't agree with either her methods or her request, but I would approach it differently. I would think about how much and when I would like to be in the classroom, and offer that. If she countered back that she needs me there all the time, I would ask how long she envisioned that continuing, and say that I have to think about it. Then I would come on back to the Hive for round two advice, :lol:. Remember, your child will be in the school for a long time. You want to be perceived as productive and positive. In future years this will serve you very well.

[TranquilMind]

Ds6's 1st grade teacher has asked me to spend entire days at school with ds. I have done this for 2 days in a row now. Her reasoning was for me to keep him on task as he was struggling with how fast they moved through things.

 

After 2 days I have concerns. They go through about 4 saxon and a grammar worksheet a day. Teacher has a smartboard/projector and she reads through the worksheet writes in the answers and that's that. The problem is she does this really fast!!! I had a difficult time keeping up with her. It is literally read the question ask a student the answer, fill it in, on to the next. I can see this in the older grades, but these kids are not even close to reading fluently. Once she has gone through the sheet they get a few minutes and then whatever is not finished comes home as homework.

 

My ds is not the only child struggling. I spent some time looking around the class and noticed quite a few not even making an effort to follow along.

 

I realize the teacher has a difficult job. Many, if not most, of the students are from very low income families. I watched one little girl arrive 3 hours late because, "her mommy wouldn't wake up to take her." This was her 4th tardy day that week. The teachers own words were that she has a class of "hoodlums."

 

Here are my thoughts. I am feeling guilty that I do not want to go to his class during the day. I could make some good excuses like not being able to leave the farm animals, but the truth is I felt like I was frustrating ds more than helping. What are your thoughts?

 

He is happy there. He loves being around the other kids, he is not disruptive. He just hasn't learned to hide from the teacher that he is confused...he asks for help, the others just put it in their cubbies to take home. The teacher never see the worksheets until after they have gone home as homework and the kids do not ask questions in class.

 

Sorry, for the length of this, but I would appreciate your thoughts.

I can't believe this whole post. They are in FIRST GRADE? And she is whipping though pages and pages of grammar and math every day?

 

These are 6 year olds! I was 5 in first grade.

 

And she wants you to stay in the classroom all day every day.

 

Wow. I don't have any advice because I didn't put a kid in first grade elsewhere other than home, but this seems completely unreasonable to me. All of it.

 

She is not a good teacher if the kids aren't learning and can't keep up.

[EKS]

A few things stand out at me.

 

Is this a public school? If so, you should not be being asked to keep your son on task. That is their job. If he needs help to stay on task, the school must provide that help.

 

Also, the worksheet in Saxon is meant to be done by the students on their own after working with manipulatives and discussing the concepts in class. The front side is intended to be done in class as independent seat work and the reverse side is to be done as homework. What this teacher is doing is ridiculous.

This does strike me as odd. I guess I could understand a request to sit in on the class as a one time deal, but is the proposed plan that you sit in everyday? Is the insinuation that he behaves very differently when you aren't around?

 

Before commenting to the principal about workload, I would want to know how standardized the curriculum and teaching is across different classrooms. I've read now that many schools have micro-managed their teachers so that every minute of the classroom is scripted. If this is true in your school, maybe every class is attempting the same number of worksheets daily.

 

And don't get me started on the utility of the smartboard. I've got personal-sized whiteboard we can work math problems on the sofa here -- it's as smart as you need.

[jenbrdsly]

I can't believe this whole post. They are in FIRST GRADE? And she is whipping though pages and pages of grammar and math every day?

 

These are 6 year olds! I was 5 in first grade.

 

And she wants you to stay in the classroom all day every day.

 

Wow. I don't have any advice because I didn't put a kid in first grade elsewhere other than home, but this seems completely unreasonable to me. All of it.

 

She is not a good teacher if the kids aren't learning and can't keep up.

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: I taught first grade for two years and I hardly ever used worksheets.

[Little Nyssa]

It's really good to have had the opportunity to see first-hand what happens in the classroom. But, I wonder if these 2 days were typical days?

Maybe she had some pressure on her to finish those sheets by a certain time and now she can lighten up?

That would be my one question before deciding: were those days typical.

I agree with everyone that the request is unreasonable. What about once a week, or one half-day a week? I agree it should be your own choice. :grouphug:

[simka2]

It's really good to have had the opportunity to see first-hand what happens in the classroom. But, I wonder if these 2 days were typical days?

Maybe she had some pressure on her to finish those sheets by a certain time and now she can lighten up?

That would be my one question before deciding: were those days typical.

I agree with everyone that the request is unreasonable. What about once a week, or one half-day a week? I agree it should be your own choice. :grouphug:

No, it is typical. 3 more came home tonight as homework. They do one side in class and one at home. So I guess that is 6 math sheets per day.

 

It is difficult, because this is not the method I would prefer him to be educated with. On the other hand he only has a semester until he is done and off to a new teacher. He is so happy there, but he is easy to please. ;)

[simka2]

This does strike me as odd. I guess I could understand a request to sit in on the class as a one time deal, but is the proposed plan that you sit in everyday? Is the insinuation that he behaves very differently when you aren't around?

 

Before commenting to the principal about workload, I would want to know how standardized the curriculum and teaching is across different classrooms. I've read now that many schools have micro-managed their teachers so that every minute of the classroom is scripted. If this is true in your school, maybe every class is attempting the same number of worksheets daily.

 

And don't get me started on the utility of the smartboard. I've got personal-sized whiteboard we can work math problems on the sofa here -- it's as smart as you need.

I got the impression it was a request to sit with him until such a time as he could stay on task. After two days I am feeling that is a bordeline impossible request, due to the number and speed at which she goes through the sheets.

 

I do think the teachers are being micromanaged a bit. The Principal has made a vow that the Super could walk in to any class at any moment and find teaching going on. This sounds really good in theory, but it seems to be resulting in a tension.

 

If this were any of my older kids it would be a deal breaker. They were all late bloomers. This ds is my youngest and wishes he was older, so I think he is handling the situation rather well.

[Paige]

Are you the only parent sitting in with your child? I would be concerned about how it may affect him socially.

[simka2]

Are you the only parent sitting in with your child? I would be concerned about how it may affect him socially.

 

Yes, as far as I have seen, I am the only one. Both days I have been the only parent at lunch as well. How it could affect him has been another of my concerns. The whole thing is just a little weird.

[justasque]

Teacher has a smartboard/projector and she reads through the worksheet writes in the answers and that's that. The problem is she does this really fast!!! I had a difficult time keeping up with her. It is literally read the question ask a student the answer, fill it in, on to the next.

 

Honestly, this does not sound like an effective way to teach math to kids that young. Where are the manipulatives? Where is the time to puzzle through an answer? Where is the time where several kids explain their different approaches to the problem? Where is the time when the kids work through a page of problems at their own pace, and raise their hand if they get stuck, while the teacher floats around the classroom helping them as needed? Where is the small group work, where kids can discuss meaty problems and solve them together? Math, at this age, is FOUNDATIONAL, both in terms of the material and in terms of the child's future attitude towards the subject. I'd be concerned.

 

Is this a public school? Because my response would be different in a public school than in a private one.

[BabyBre]

Before commenting to the principal about workload, I would want to know how standardized the curriculum and teaching is across different classrooms. I've read now that many schools have micro-managed their teachers so that every minute of the classroom is scripted. If this is true in your school, maybe every class is attempting the same number of worksheets daily.

 

 

That is true in many districts, which would make going to the principal pointless. He'll pretend to listen and care and then either feed you a line of something you'd like to hear or tell it to you straight that he's backing his teacher up, as good administrators do.

 

Sorry, yes, I am bitter. :tongue_smilie:

[Spy Car]

If it were me I would attempt to be in the classroom as much as was practicable. And for a host of reasons:

 

If a teacher asked for this I would give him or her the benefit of the doubt. Not all schools welcome parents in the classrooms, those that do (and successfully get parents involved in the classroom) tend to thrive. And it is generally not bad teachers who are attempting to get parents in the class observing them.

 

This may be "wild conjecture" but do you think maybe she feels your children need the protection that you being an adult presence in the class (and there at school) afford them, as she's described the students there as "hoodlums?" Who knows? They are new and have no loyalties established. Where schools are rough this can matter, even in First Grade. But maybe that's not it at all. But even if it not an issue with "her" I would still tell you that your being there (even if it is for a short time) will give your child more "immunity" at school, and that is a good thing.

 

And even really good teacher need help in a classroom of First Graders. And there is no way one adult can get to every child having a problem. And the problem is a hundred-fold in schools where children can't read fluently. The teacher may be a "realist" about what is going on in this school. Which would not be pleasant news, but you should know for yourself.

 

If it turns out the teacher is not competent, it is also best to see it first hand.

 

For the moment I would try to be there as much as you can. This way you can glean what is really going on. Just go with an open mind. If it is a bad situation it is better to know it. ignorance is not bliss.

 

Probably not what you wanted to hear. Sorry about that, but as a friend my best council is to (on a short-term basis) try to be there, try to help, and try to get a feel for the class and the school. Get to know the Principal, Teachers etc. It is much better to be positively involved in a relationship with the Principal and the Teachers than not.

 

I would certainly not start complaining to the Principal about this teacher before you have the full lay of the land. She may, in fact, be trying to do you a "solid." Or she may prove to be incompetent. Either way I would want to know more.

 

Bill

[Harriet Vane]

Stop and think how this would be positioned by someone who was defensive. "I gave her every opportunity to participate in her son's class, but she was unwilling to do so. I told her that she could come ANY TIME! and she complained to the principal that I was not doing my job. Can you believe it?"

 

It's not uncommon for teachers to ban parents from their children's classrooms. I would be FAR more concerned about that possibility.

 

I don't agree with either her methods or her request, but I would approach it differently. I would think about how much and when I would like to be in the classroom, and offer that. If she countered back that she needs me there all the time, I would ask how long she envisioned that continuing, and say that I have to think about it. Then I would come on back to the Hive for round two advice, :lol:. Remember, your child will be in the school for a long time. You want to be perceived as productive and positive. In future years this will serve you very well.

 

:iagree:

[Roadrunner]

Honestly, this does not sound like an effective way to teach math to kids that young. Where are the manipulatives? Where is the time to puzzle through an answer? Where is the time where several kids explain their different approaches to the problem? Where is the time when the kids work through a page of problems at their own pace, and raise their hand if they get stuck, while the teacher floats around the classroom helping them as needed? Where is the small group work, where kids can discuss meaty problems and solve them together? Math, at this age, is FOUNDATIONAL, both in terms of the material and in terms of the child's future attitude towards the subject. I'd be concerned.

 

Is this a public school? Because my response would be different in a public school than in a private one.

Maybe, but it's typical. I am not surprised what she described. That's exactly how math is taught in my son's first grade classroom as well. To make matters worse, the program they use is full of word problems and considering many kids can't read well yet... well, you get the point. It's a struggle for a teacher too.

 

How much longer does she expect you to attend full time school? Do they not have assistants in the class or regular volunteers?

[simka2]

Is this new material or review? When you sit down with her, ask her to explain her math teaching plan for the quarter.

It is a mix. Since it Saxon it is very cyclical and much is review, but 2 of the worksheets both introduce a new concept every day.

 

Let's see Friday the concept was adding double plus one, and Mon's was "pairs." The 3rd sheet is math facts, which is fine.

 

She has already mentioned to me that she is not the math teacher. :confused: Meaning they have what they call a "math teacher" for the school, who basically assigns to the teachers what they have to cover and how.

 

I think I am done spending the day there, but it has been an eye opening experience.

[justamouse]

Your posts are flipping me out. For the fact that she wants you there that much, and how poorly of a job she is doing because she's whipping through the sheets.

 

I would be there. Because if it all goes down, I'd want to see it with my own eyes.

[simka2]

Your posts are flipping me out. For the fact that she wants you there that much, and how poorly of a job she is doing because she's whipping through the sheets.

 

I would be there. Because if it all goes down, I'd want to see it with my own eyes.

 

Bri, I will be honest and say I am not happy. :glare: Right now, though he is happy, it is first grade so I do not think any long term damage is going to be done, and the older kids are thriving! We had a few bumps with the twins, but it has really smoothed out and their team of teachers is awesome!

 

 

Until he tells me otherwise he can stay. This is really hard though. I did have a good laugh when she asked him how I taught him math and he mentioned "candy counting" and manipulatives. Now, I am having to go back and teach him "Touch Math," which is not my favorite program, but is what they are using.

 

The only nice part is that I have the stomach flu this morning and can actually be SICK!!! :D

[simka2]

Ick. Saxon sounds horrible the way they are using the materials.

 

My district uses first as a catch up year for the disadvantaged. The goal is to have everyone be proficient with manipulatives for addition and the addition fact families up to and including 9. They spend app. 20 min on whole group instruction daily, where the teacher models the thinking process. The goal is to get all of the addition thinking stages mastered (count up, count on from beginning, count on from larger number, make a ten etc).

 

I was the only mom volunteer when my younger was in first. The socioeconomics of the area changed radically and few were able to volunteer. I was the math helper. The teacher absolutely needed another competent adult so she could do small group instruction and the helper could remind those who 'forgot' what they were supposed to be doing. It was 8th grade before they all remembered to call me Mrs. Y instead of "Classmate-name's mom".

 

I think your son will pick up quickly though, once he is with the class. Doubles plus one and pairs are a very small extension of the original doubles lesson, however I wouldn't expect at this time of year that all students would be able to do this lesson without manipulatives. Be curious to know how many are receiving rTi.

 

I may let a couple weeks go by and then ask her if I can volunteer in a classroom capacity rather than parental. Maybe that would help her and some of the other students.

[akalori]

Ridiculous. Are they planning to pay you? Teacher aids do get paid.

 

Lori

[SweetMissMagnolia]

I consider the teacher's request that you be present for whole days completely unprofessional.

If this is any kind of normal school, the teacher is supposed to teach without the parents in the classroom. Unless the child in question has extreme special needs that would require a full-time assistant, a teacher who needs a parent present is not teaching properly. It is the teacher's job to keep students on task.

I would request a meeting with the teacher to discuss this, and if necessary bring the matter up with the principal. I would mention my son's difficulties (and maybe share some observations about the teaching and other students), but I would be adamant that I do not send my child to their school to be present in the classroom on a daily basis. (Besides, I find your presence creates a distraction for all the other students)

:iagree: