Jenny in Florida Posted December 16, 2011 Author Share Posted December 16, 2011 Marriage isn't the only reason to have a hope chest. One hopes to eventually save enough for one's own apartment, yes? !! Anyone moving out needs sheets, towels and cutlery. And a dehydrator, a vitamix and a grain mill (they wish, lol.) Does she like Dr Who? :) Rosie LOVES Dr. Who, but I've been unable to find anything that doesn't fall into either the "random stuff to sit on a shelf" or "silly t-shirt" category, and she already has so many of those things. She's not especially into jewelry, by the way. We gave her a charm bracelet several years ago, and she doesn't wear it. We've given her earrings, and she loses them. Have I missed something? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 What about a trip? Take her to Vegas for a weekend and see a few shows. You dont have to do racey vegas, you can go to Cirque and spend an hour in the M&M store. I only suggest Vegas because it's warm and relatively cheap. There may be something closer to you that interests your daughter? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 LOVES Dr. Who, but I've been unable to find anything that doesn't fall into either the "random stuff to sit on a shelf" or "silly t-shirt" category, and she already has so many of those things. She's not especially into jewelry, by the way. We gave her a charm bracelet several years ago, and she doesn't wear it. We've given her earrings, and she loses them. Have I missed something? She might not like it, but I thought this was the greatest! Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 How about just giving her gold. Like real gold. A beautiful gold coin. Has beauty and intrinsic value. Doesn't take up much space. Can be saved. Much nicer to open than cash. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 My teen loves beautiful hair barrettes and headbands. I've had fabulous luck in the France Luxe department on Amazon. France Luxe stuff is beyond gorgeous! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CAMom Posted December 16, 2011 Share Posted December 16, 2011 I liked the idea of a script. What about a first edition copy of a favorite book? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth in OH Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 LOVES Dr. Who, but I've been unable to find anything that doesn't fall into either the "random stuff to sit on a shelf" or "silly t-shirt" category, and she already has so many of those things. Here's my 19 yo Dr. Who lover's find: http://www.etsy.com/shop/ModernStylographer. It's an Etsy shop with original artwork posters for Dr. Who episodes. Nice graphics. Also, does she have any friends in NYC that she could stay with if she flew in for a show? My dd's went to Sleep No More this past summer. It's a theater major "must see". If there's any way to swing it, you'd be a hero. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I love a challenge:lol: The only thing I can think of that I did with my dsd around that age was take her shopping. SHe had a blast picking out a bunch of new clothes. SHe asks for it again periodically :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 I love a challenge:lol: The only thing I can think of that I did with my dsd around that age was take her shopping. SHe had a blast picking out a bunch of new clothes. SHe asks for it again periodically :tongue_smilie: So, you want to hear something funny? Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. My husband always takes the day off work, and we usually try to plan a nice day out for her. When she was younger, the plan was usually a theme park, but that lost its luster a few years ago. The last two years, we ended up shopping for her Christmas outfit and having lunch. This year, she had a show that evening. This one requires a specific look that takes her a good hour or more to acheive. And she has to have her hair in pin curls for a couple of hours before that. Knowing she had to take care of that and be at the theatre (45 minutes from home) by 6:30, she wasn't terribly enthusiastic about going out for the day. She also couldn't think of anything she especially wanted to do. We took her out for lunch at a new Indian restaurant and suggested that we could go clothes shopping on the way home. Normally, she would jump at that, but this time, she said: Oooh! Oooh! I know! Let's go to Target and get the stuff I need to organize my closet! That's my girl. She really knows how to party, right? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 17, 2011 Author Share Posted December 17, 2011 What about a trip? Take her to Vegas for a weekend and see a few shows. You dont have to do racey vegas, you can go to Cirque and spend an hour in the M&M store. I only suggest Vegas because it's warm and relatively cheap. There may be something closer to you that interests your daughter? Hmmm, I'm not a fan of Vegas, but I don't think it would offer us much we don't already have here. (Cirque, check. M&M store, check. Warm, checkcheckcheck.) I do like the idea of a trip, but as I mentioned earlier, the expense of that is more than we really want to do. It would also put her "big gift" way out of the zone of what we're giving her brother, and I don't want to get into that kind of arms race. I'm actually convinced that my husband will begin to find an NYC trip a viable alternative out of sheer desperation unless I come up with something darned good pretty soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna in Texas Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Honestly, I think snooping around etsy would be your best bet. A couple things: Does she enjoy memes? These are cool and vegan. I think everything in that shop is vegan actually. And way cute. I know it's not a large purchase, but the intertubes, and some other things on the site in a traincase with vegan brushes would be quite big. Only if your dd is interested in something like that, though. My dd has quite a collection of various indie brands, but she also loves theatrical cosmetics. Also, this. Not big, but neat, especially with nice expensive pencils. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 (edited) I have no idea how much something like this would cost, but what about a high quality or professional lighted makeup mirror? Edited December 17, 2011 by Pippen Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 So, you want to hear something funny? Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. My husband always takes the day off work, and we usually try to plan a nice day out for her. When she was younger, the plan was usually a theme park, but that lost its luster a few years ago. The last two years, we ended up shopping for her Christmas outfit and having lunch. This year, she had a show that evening. This one requires a specific look that takes her a good hour or more to acheive. And she has to have her hair in pin curls for a couple of hours before that. Knowing she had to take care of that and be at the theatre (45 minutes from home) by 6:30, she wasn't terribly enthusiastic about going out for the day. She also couldn't think of anything she especially wanted to do. We took her out for lunch at a new Indian restaurant and suggested that we could go clothes shopping on the way home. Normally, she would jump at that, but this time, she said: Oooh! Oooh! I know! Let's go to Target and get the stuff I need to organize my closet! That's my girl. She really knows how to party, right? Eh, she's an adult now. My dd realized this about herself last year when she got more excited about a gift to me of storage containers for the ktichen than anything she received herself. It was really funny. It may be time to let go of what you and your husband think is a nice gift and go with good old cash. Let's face it, that is where you are headed. She doesn't like or want anything. Only thing left is $. I know I get excited about my little Christmas bonus! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 Along the lines of a hope chest -- one thing that I used for years that my parents got me at about that age was a tool box fully stocked with tools. It was very helpful for messing around with building sets at first (also a theater geek), then for repairs around the apartment, etc. Not typical, but I was very popular with my neighbors as a young adult because none of the people around me had a hammer or screwdrivers (especially my precision screwdriver set would get borrowed/used a lot). Oh, and the little hacksaw was very useful. :iagree: But I'm a girl who would love tools (or a new table saw!). It seems there is always something that needs to be fixed. I've even built a few bookshelves, a desk, a loftbed... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 She's kind of fussy about "experiences." We used to be able to do that sort of thing when she was younger, but she's pretty focused on just a few things she enjoys now and hates being put on the spot and made to feel like she "should" enjoy something just because someone did it for her. (This is a feeling to which I relate strongly!) No fancy tearooms, but there's also the vegan thing that makes restaurants of any kind a little challenging. For her birthday, she just got tickets to see Mandy Patinkin and Patti Lupone when they come to Sarasota in February. And that is part of what makes Christmas a challenge, that her birthday is right before. Does she like to cook? Would she enjoy good knives that she could then take with her when she moves out? I mean really good knives, like a set of Shun classics or a couple of Cutco knives? It's not something most young people would be able to afford once out on their own, but definitely makes food prep WAY more enjoyable. Then again, that might be more of a housewarming gift when the time comes. I bought my difficult to buy for kid a unicycle this year. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 So, you want to hear something funny? Yesterday was my daughter's birthday. My husband always takes the day off work, and we usually try to plan a nice day out for her. When she was younger, the plan was usually a theme park, but that lost its luster a few years ago. The last two years, we ended up shopping for her Christmas outfit and having lunch. This year, she had a show that evening. This one requires a specific look that takes her a good hour or more to acheive. And she has to have her hair in pin curls for a couple of hours before that. Knowing she had to take care of that and be at the theatre (45 minutes from home) by 6:30, she wasn't terribly enthusiastic about going out for the day. She also couldn't think of anything she especially wanted to do. We took her out for lunch at a new Indian restaurant and suggested that we could go clothes shopping on the way home. Normally, she would jump at that, but this time, she said: Oooh! Oooh! I know! Let's go to Target and get the stuff I need to organize my closet! That's my girl. She really knows how to party, right? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cbollin Posted December 17, 2011 Share Posted December 17, 2011 I like the Target shopping for closet story. :lol: sounds like something I wish someone would do for me! hmm... my dh and I got talking about this thread because we're stumped for ideas too. Would your daughter appreciate it if you guys made a donation in her honor to an organization that is dear to her heart? Would she want to do some kind of service trip to serve that organization? or have some training to volunteer with them? -crystal Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Would your daughter appreciate it if you guys made a donation in her honor to an organization that is dear to her heart? One of my teens asked us to do this for him this year. He's a kid with few needs and wants so that's what his main gift will be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Would your daughter appreciate it if you guys made a donation in her honor to an organization that is dear to her heart? To somewhere like Kiva, if she doesn't have a pet charity. Then she can have the fun of "shopping" to spend the money. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Eh, she's an adult now. My dd realized this about herself last year when she got more excited about a gift to me of storage containers for the ktichen than anything she received herself. It was really funny. It may be time to let go of what you and your husband think is a nice gift and go with good old cash. Let's face it, that is where you are headed. She doesn't like or want anything. Only thing left is $. I know I get excited about my little Christmas bonus! I finally talked my husband into just giving her money for her birthday last year. She wasn't wowed and never bothered to deposit the check. Part of the issue, I think, is that she doesn't want a lot, and we can usually be counted upon to buy it for her if she does want it and it's affordable. Others have suggested making a donation in her name, and we do usually do that, too. In addition to outright giving money to causes she supports, we look hard for gifts to buy that will benefit those organizations. That's what I always hint my husband should do for my gifts, too. It took me many years, but he seems to be finally convinced that I mean it. My "big" gifts for the last few years have been notes telling me where he donated for me. I just can't imagine where we could give, though, or how big a check we would have to write to really make her eyes shine, since we give to lots of organizations fairly regularly. I think part of the reason I'm really pushing to find something great for her this year is that we're all struggling a bit with Christmas. We're still feeling the after-effects of the blow-up with our church, which puts a damper on the whole season. My son and I are not in a good place, which my daughter finds very stressful. She hasn't really settled in and found a place for herself, socially, since she came back from school in June. And we're in a little house -- which we selected because it was so conveniently close to our church -- that she is having trouble working up any enthusiasm for decorating. It's not that I want to "make up" for all of that by throwing money at the problem, but I do want to make the best effort I possibly can to make things as cheerful as we can manage. No matter what we buy or make, this won't be our happiest Christmas. But I'm trying not to give in or give up. Thanks for all of the suggestions, everyone. I'm sorry to be so difficult! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 18, 2011 Author Share Posted December 18, 2011 Does she like to cook? Umm . . . no. She would rather not eat if it requires cooking. While she was away at school, she survived on instant oatmeal, bread, soy milk, orange juice, rice, potato chips and shelf-stable Indian food. Occasionally, I could get her to agree to buy some fruit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarlaS Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Umm . . . no. She would rather not eat if it requires cooking. While she was away at school, she survived on instant oatmeal, bread, soy milk, orange juice, rice, potato chips and shelf-stable Indian food. Occasionally, I could get her to agree to buy some fruit. Sounds a bit like my oldest. He'll wander out into the kitchen, and if there's nothing mom-made handy, he'll make toast. :lol: He does put peanut butter and bananas on it though. And he likes to bake occasionally. He makes really really big cookies because putting 4 dozen of them on a sheet is not his idea of fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Okay, I have another idea, but it's kinda weird. :001_smile: How about one of those fireplace heaters? You could keep it in a cozy reading nook. It sounds like cozy might be good for your family right now. You could do a whole book cozy theme in fact. Fireplace: http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0047O2M56/ref=pd_lpo_k2_dp_sr_3?pf_rd_p=486539851&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0013NRPYW&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1JEF5HKN7T5TV9R7B0Q4 Blankie: http://www.potterybarn.com/products/cozy-cable-knit-throw/?pkey=e%7Cthrow%7C20%7Cbest%7C0%7C1%7C24%7C%7C3&cm_src=PRODUCTSEARCH||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_-Sku_Top_Marketing_Rule%7CThrows-_- hot cocoa mug: http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=973841&parentid=BAYNOTE PJs: http://www.victoriassecret.com/ss/Satellite?ProductID=1265646366677&c=Page&cid=1319078557767&pagename=vsdWrapper and my all time favorite book (:lol: I mean a book she wants): http://www.amazon.com/Wind-Sand-Stars-Antoine-Saint-Exupery/dp/0156027496/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1324180065&sr=1-1 This is assuming it's not hot where you live... uuuhhhh... do you live in Florida? :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted December 18, 2011 Share Posted December 18, 2011 Yes... you live in Florida.:blush: Scratch that. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Isabella Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 I don't know if it's been mentioned, but with my older teen girls a puppy would bring the sparkling eyes & wow factor! ( I see you already have a dog, but maybe a little one that could be her very own) I guess it depends on the kid, but my oldest daughter, 19, would also be thrilled with a new breed of chickens to add to her breeding stock. Just a couple of ideas that popped into my head Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 How about...a beautiful formal dress for very nice occasions, like opening nights at the theater? Nordstrom has gorgeous dresses that you can view online, and many are on sale. One of my daughter's gifts this year is a lovely little formal dress that she will be able to wear any season. It's extremely flattering and absolutely "her." She's getting accessories (a velvet shawl, strapless bra) to go with it so that she'll be completely ready for any great occasion. I highly recommend looking through the Nordstrom website. The dresses are so beautiful. And it's something you two can do together without leaving the house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pippen Posted December 19, 2011 Share Posted December 19, 2011 How about...a beautiful formal dress for very nice occasions, like opening nights at the theater? Nordstrom has gorgeous dresses that you can view online, and many are on sale. One of my daughter's gifts this year is a lovely little formal dress that she will be able to wear any season. It's extremely flattering and absolutely "her." She's getting accessories (a velvet shawl, strapless bra) to go with it so that she'll be completely ready for any great occasion. I highly recommend looking through the Nordstrom website. The dresses are so beautiful. And it's something you two can do together without leaving the house. What a great idea for an older girl! I'm going to remember this one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Florida Posted December 21, 2011 Author Share Posted December 21, 2011 In case anyone is curious, here's what we've decided to do. Background: Our son is getting a "gentleman's kit." We're giving him a nice (vinyl) briefcase stuffed with a book called "How to Be a Gentleman" along with a couple of sets of cufflinks, a tie clip, two new ties and matching pocket squares and a gift cards to buy more clothes at JC Penney's. So, we're making a Broadway nerd gift pack for our daughter. We had already paid to renew her Playbill subscription. So, we're putting that in the package along with a couple of Broadway-themed books (including the new Stephen Sondheim one), a CD of the soundtrack of a recent revival, a gift certificate from Broadway.com that will allow her to buy a pair of good tickets to the Broadway show of her choice and a note telling her she gets to help us plan a family vacation to NYC this spring. She loves, LOVES to plan. I feel really good about the decision. Thanks, everyone, for helping me think it through and clarify my thoughts. I've shared many of your comments with my husband, and it was definitely helpful to have ideas to bounce around when we talked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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