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I am so tired of arguing with DS9


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Is he entering some sort of preteen argumentative phase? Today he argued with me about his math, stating the numbers in the workbook were different when he looked at them. He argued that the people in Brazil speak Portuguese because that's what the slaves spoke when they brought them to Brazil. He argued with me about spelling, saying baseball is most definitely spelled "baceball" because the "s" sound is more of a "c" sound. He is currently arguing with me about grammar because obviously verb tense agreement is not important when composing a paragraph.

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Wow. Looks like my kids finally made that time machine they have been talking about. He is 11 now, but that def. sounds like his 9 year old self. Or maybe it is the 6 year old aged up a bit....

 

I am sorry. Please know you are not alone.

 

When he was 9 I would make him run around the block a couple times between subjects. That sometimes took the edge off. Keep 'em too tired to fight is my motto!

 

Now he is in ballet class 4 days a week and that helped.

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:grouphug

 

I recently gave my self permission to not have to answer my pro-arguers. There can't be an argument if I don't answer, right?! I listen. I smile. I listen. And then I try to see if they're ready to be distracted from their mental grove. Nope, not read? I smile. I listen. I smile. And try distracting again.

 

Alrighty then, Mom's coffee needs to be refilled, or ________.

 

If they're extreme my answer is, "When you talk to me like that the answer is always going to be no."

 

:grouphug::grouphug: Don't engage the beast.

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I've just finished a spelling test with my 14yo - and, um, well... Most days she doesn't need to argue like this. :tongue_smilie:

 

My mom had one of these and while he was a pain to raise, he's been ever so rock-solid as an ethical engineer. Kids like this are more likely to lead groups *away* from drugs, etc., and be otherwise unaffected by negative peer pressure. Perhaps we could get that on a wall hanging 'specially for these times? :D

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Oh, my, this reminds me so much of the stage my Ds went through at that age.

 

One day, dh was home working on the car when Ds started arguing with me. I said, "I don't have to put up with this. Your dad is on the driveway. Go argue with him about it."

 

Ds claimed to not know which driveway I was referring to. Huh?

 

My dad was here, and he told him to go outside and search every driveway until he found his dad.

 

Fortunately, now, we can laugh about it, and Ds does a pretty good imitation of his obnoxious former self.

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My 8 year old does that all the time. Drives me insane. I know I shouldn't engage him, but he just sucks me in! Right now I"m so mad at him. He gripes about what I serve for lunch (so the items he complains about I tell him he can't have, it's not that he doesn't like it, he just wants to gripe) and then he broke one of my clay pots with his soccer ball, didn't tell me about it and didn't apologize when I confronted him. I'm sorry about your kid. I understand!

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My mom had one of these and while he was a pain to raise, he's been ever so rock-solid as an ethical engineer. Kids like this are more likely to lead groups *away* from drugs, etc., and be otherwise unaffected by negative peer pressure. Perhaps we could get that on a wall hanging 'specially for these times? :D

 

Thanks, I needed to hear this today. I even emailed it to my DH. DH has always said our argumentative child is principled. God willing he hangs onto right principles!

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I don't participate in the argument. Typically, when they do that, they are just wanting attention. I don't give in as I don't want to encourage it. Usually I will "distract" them and find another way to give them attention - something positive. So, if one of mine was being argumentative for the sake of arguing, I would wait a few minutes then ask if he/she wanted to come help me make cookies. Usually, they will take me up on the offer.

 

Editing to add: Healthy debates are fine and encouraged. The day-in/day-out arguing just to argue is different (handled as mentioned above).

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Ugh. My 10 year old spent the 9 year innocently asking me questions so she could argue with me about the answer. Seriously. I think she would lurk in her room, trying to figure out what question to ask to get the ball rolling.

 

Thankfully she outgrew it shortly after I started answering every question with "are you looking for information or an opening for your prepared argument?"

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Ugh. My 10 year old spent the 9 year innocently asking me questions so she could argue with me about the answer. Seriously. I think she would lurk in her room, trying to figure out what question to ask to get the ball rolling.

 

Thankfully she outgrew it shortly after I started answering every question with "are you looking for information or an opening for your prepared argument?"

 

:lol:

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Totally off topic, but is your avatar a pic of you? I'm curious. If it is, you look so young!

 

It is me from the last week of November. Thank you. It's a picture that I resized from a larger one, which caused it to be a bit grainy and fuzzy, so it's sort of an "illusion". :D LOL. My pinterest photo is the same photo but larger.

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:grouphug

 

I recently gave my self permission to not have to answer my pro-arguers. There can't be an argument if I don't answer, right?! I listen. I smile. I listen. And then I try to see if they're ready to be distracted from their mental grove. Nope, not read? I smile. I listen. I smile. And try distracting again.

 

Alrighty then, Mom's coffee needs to be refilled, or ________.

 

If they're extreme my answer is, "When you talk to me like that the answer is always going to be no."

 

:grouphug::grouphug: Don't engage the beast.

 

:iagree: Do not engage.

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