Address a store employee by name today!

[Mrs. Readsalot]

I got into the habit of doing this several years ago. Recently my dh commented that it seems the employee really like to be called by name. This is such a simple thing but you can really let someone know they are thought of and appreciated by doing it. It was my dh's idea to post this, OK so I thought it was to silly to even mention.

[Trivium Academy]

Oh I do this too! I make sure I address each waiter/waitress by name, even making sure I call them by their name when we place our order. The only time I don't is when a cashier or other store employee is more busy talking to another cashier or on the phone with a personal phone call, which I consider VERY rude when you have a customer standing in front of you.

 

I also say, "Have a good day!" when I leave no matter if the employee does or not, most of the time they say it back.

[gandpsmommy]

I think this is a great idea. I've just been reading How To Win Friends and Influence People, so these kinds of courtesies are in the forefront of my mind. My dh is such a kind and thoughtful guy. When we are seated at a restaurant and the server introduces him/herself and asks how we are, he often introduces us and asks how he/she is. He treats everyone as people, not just workers. On Memorial Day weekend some technicians from our cable company had to come to our house to fix a problem the company had created when installing our satellite dish. It was late evening, and they had been working outside in the heat all day. The first thing dh did was offer them some iced tea. They gratefully accepted and said that it was the first time all day anyone had offered them something to drink. I remarked to dh about how kind and thoughtful I thought that was of him. I also commented that I wished I could be more friendly to workers when they come to service things at our house when I am here alone with the kids during the week, but that being a woman (and the workers almost always being men, in my experience) it is hard to know how to do that without seeming overly friendly and flirtatious.

[melissel]

I've often heard that too, but I'll just chime in on the other side of the issue. When I worked in service jobs, it was often very disconcerting and felt condescending when someone used my name intentionally. They didn't generally introduce themselves (as in, "Hi Melissa, I'm Sarah! Could I have a large Coke please?"), so they would refer to me by name, but I couldn't do the same. I felt it put things on a very unequal footing, and generally didn't make me feel much better about the transaction. It often felt like a manipulative tactic. Men were usually the ones who did it, too, and now that I have a DH in sales, I understand it better.

 

Instead, I go out of my way to be very friendly, and I don't use people's names unless I really need to. Of course, it's possible that I'm the only service employee who ever felt that way, so take my words with a grain of salt :lol:

[melissel]

The first thing dh did was offer them some iced tea. They gratefully accepted and said that it was the first time all day anyone had offered them something to drink.

 

I've heard the same thing. We had fence guys here working long hours in high summer last year, and each day they came I offered them sodas or water while they worked. The foreman was totally blown away that I'd even offered. And I've had cable guys tell me the same thing--that no ever offers them anything, and that people would sit down and eat full meals in front of them and not think to offer a glass of water.

 

I always offer, then I get the heck out of their way, LOL!

[melhouse]

When I worked in service jobs, it was often very disconcerting and felt condescending when someone used my name intentionally. They didn't generally introduce themselves (as in, "Hi Melissa, I'm Sarah! Could I have a large Coke please?"), so they would refer to me by name, but I couldn't do the same. I felt it put things on a very unequal footing, and generally didn't make me feel much better about the transaction. It often felt like a manipulative tactic. Men were usually the ones who did it, too,

 

This was my thought, too. Although, I've never been in a service job, I have been with other people who have gone out of their way to use the server's name (mainly in restaurants, I suppose). Sometimes the server doesn't seem to appreciate it; other times it doesn't seem to matter.

 

 

Instead, I go out of my way to be very friendly, and I don't use people's names unless I really need to. Of course, it's possible that I'm the only service employee who ever felt that way, so take my words with a grain of salt :lol:

 

Maybe it has to do with the name "Melissa",:lol: but this is what I do too!

 

Melissa

[OnTheBrink]

So, it's not appropriate to say, "Yo, underling, bring me a pepsi" while snapping my fingers? :confused:

[Tracey in TX]

I've always referred to wait staff/cashiers, etc by their names if they wear a name tag. I liked it when people acknowledged my name when I had similar jobs. It felt like people accepted that I was a person beyond "waitress".

It's funny when someone wears a different name tag and gets flustered when you call them by the name. Usually good for a joint laugh :)

[Danestress]

When I waited tables, I really hated it when a guy asked my name and then used it. I'm not sure why, but it always felt a little too familiar to me when a man I didn't know was calling me by name.

 

I personally preferred to be a respected but anonymous servant:)

 

I guess it was different for me with women, because I always feel like every woman is a potential friend and ally. So I wouldn't find it off-putting to have a woman call me by my first name when I was waiting tables. I know that sounds really sexist and unfair and that men make great friends too, but for me personally, I that's just how I felt.

[angela in ohio]

I hate to rain on the parade, too, but I agree that this was annoying when I was a waitress, cashier, and bank teller. I don't like people I don't know to call me by my first name. After a customer came in many times and we knew each other, I appreciated calling each other by name, though.

 

I also don't like it when cashiers look at my credit card and call me my first name in stores, either, especially when they are young. I always think (not say) "That's Mrs. _____ to you."

 

The thing I did appreciate, and I still do, is to defend cashiers and waitresses who are being harrassed. For example, when someone is picking on a cashier for something she has no control over, she often is not allowed to correct the customer, but must just apologize. I like to be the one to tell these people that they are unreasonable if they are in front of me in line. :)

[mo2]

When I waited tables, I really hated it when a guy asked my name and then used it. I'm not sure why, but it always felt a little too familiar to me when a man I didn't know was calling me by name.

 

I personally preferred to be a respected but anonymous servant:)

 

 

 

 

When I waited tables, I didn't like to be called by my name either. EXCEPT....the regular customers who I waited on all the time. You know, the ones whose order I could put in as soon as I saw them walk in the door, before they even sat down. Those people could call me by name and I appreciated it, because I saw them on a regular basis. But other people, it just seemed weird.

[Kelli in TN]

I'll be the voice of dissent.

 

When I worked as waitress we did not wear nametags. In order to call me by name the customer had to ask my name. I always felt that the customer viewed me as a human being and not just a server.

 

I don't use first names always, but I try to always ask the employee if they are having a good day and I smile. A lot. People probably think I am deranged.

[Kelli in TN]

When I waited tables, I didn't like to be called by my name either. EXCEPT....the regular customers who I waited on all the time. You know, the ones whose order I could put in as soon as I saw them walk in the door, before they even sat down. Those people could call me by name and I appreciated it, because I saw them on a regular basis. But other people, it just seemed weird.

 

 

I loved my regulars! I waitressed through two pregnancies and I had regulars bring me baby gifts. So sweet.

[riada]

I agree with those that said it feels awkward to be called by name by a stranger. It feels forced and insincere. I prefer friendly comments such as "Have a nice day". That shows politeness and leaves me feeling good.

[kokotg]

I've often heard that too, but I'll just chime in on the other side of the issue. When I worked in service jobs, it was often very disconcerting and felt condescending when someone used my name intentionally. They didn't generally introduce themselves (as in, "Hi Melissa, I'm Sarah! Could I have a large Coke please?"), so they would refer to me by name, but I couldn't do the same. I felt it put things on a very unequal footing, and generally didn't make me feel much better about the transaction. It often felt like a manipulative tactic. Men were usually the ones who did it, too, and now that I have a DH in sales, I understand it better.

 

 

 

:iagree: it always felt to me like when people called me by my name it was an attempt to assert some sort of power over me, and I really hated it. Of course, I am suspicious and cynical by nature :lol:

[Call Me Cordelia]

I work in a coffee shop and I agree with many of the others. It kind of freaks me out when someone that I don't know well knows my name. For the most part, however, it totally depends on the attitude and we have pretty nice customers. With the few that are a tad snobby...it really doesn't matter if they know my name or not!

 

My current favorite is a large, masculine, 20 something, construction "dude" who refers to all of us (including me a 44 yo who has quite obviously carried a number of children) as "babe" and "shug." Ok...with anyone else it would be demeaning, but he's just SO funny!! He also recently beat someone up who "said something about my wife." He can't believe he's spending so much for a cup of coffee, but "This is good sh*t....(looks at me)...oh, my bad." I can't figure out if he's for real or not!!

[Laura Corin]

I got into the habit of doing this several years ago. Recently my dh commented that it seems the employee really like to be called by name. This is such a simple thing but you can really let someone know they are thought of and appreciated by doing it. It was my dh's idea to post this, OK so I thought it was to silly to even mention.

 

I was forced to wear a badge with my name on when I worked in a department store, but I hadn't introduced myself to the customers and having them know my name when I didn't know their's made me feel demeaned. Kind of like going to the dentist and you call him by his title but he decides it's okay to address you by your first name.

 

Laura

[melissel]

So, it's not appropriate to say, "Yo, underling, bring me a pepsi" while snapping my fingers? :confused:

 

Heavens, no! I only give instructions to my kids that way :001_cool:

[Crissy]

I don't use first names always, but I try to always ask the employee if they are having a good day and I smile. A lot. People probably think I am deranged.

 

Me, too. I think my attitude toward a person is more important than whether or not I use their first name (and after this thread, I'll think twice before addressing the waitstaff at any restaurant by name).

 

Whether it is the grocery store box boy, a bank teller, or a professional athlete, it is my intention to treat the people I meet each day with kindness.

I like to think that most of the time I succeed.

 

ETA: I prefer people use my first name. It feels to me as if I am on a level field with someone when he refers to me in the same way as my friends and family, rather than using the more formal, Mrs. _________.

[Reya]

I've often heard that too, but I'll just chime in on the other side of the issue. When I worked in service jobs, it was often very disconcerting and felt condescending when someone used my name intentionally. They didn't generally introduce themselves (as in, "Hi Melissa, I'm Sarah! Could I have a large Coke please?"), so they would refer to me by name, but I couldn't do the same. I felt it put things on a very unequal footing, and generally didn't make me feel much better about the transaction. It often felt like a manipulative tactic. Men were usually the ones who did it, too, and now that I have a DH in sales, I understand it better.

 

Instead, I go out of my way to be very friendly, and I don't use people's names unless I really need to. Of course, it's possible that I'm the only service employee who ever felt that way, so take my words with a grain of salt :lol:

 

 

Yes. I knew that, 4 times out of 5, I'd have a really unpleasant and WAY too familiar customer on my hands if he or she used my name. Uh, and about half of the men were so SMARMY. No, I'd never do that! 1 in 5 seemed to be sincerely trying to be nice, but it didn't ever really come off well.

[Kim in Appalachia]

no, I also felt that way too. I never liked it when people called me by my name, as if they knew me. But I am introverted.