One of the things wrong with our world....

[MrsMe]

On facebook today:

 

ABC person says:

Quote: Feeling pretty left out. Sam has yet again left me sitting by myself on the bus to sit with friends. Cant wait til he is 3 and can do this by himself."

 

 

Friend says:

Quote: That is actually great news...he feels comfortable doing it....Maybe when he starts going and you are not there..It will be easy for him.

 

 

I'm wondering....is this a joke?

[Slartibartfast]

3??

[MrsMe]

Yep....which means he's two....

[Guest submarines]

:confused:

I think I'm missing something. What's that all about?

[Janie Grace]

I think ABC person is actually quite pleased that her 2-year-old is so social and "advanced" (isn't it usually older kids who prefer friends to parents?). She is framing it as if she is hurt to be funny. When he's 3, she won't have to witness the way he prefers his buddies to his mommy.

 

I cannot imagine the scenario, though... are there preschool buses???

 

I don't get the title of this thread. This is "one of the things wrong with our world"? You mean that moms think it's good for kids to be independent so young? I wouldn't share this mom's sentiments or her choices, but I can think of a lot of things MORE wrong with the world than this! (Sorry, I guess the molestation/s*xting threads are still on my mind.)

[Belacqua]

Cut the apron strings already, lady! He's two years old and still isn't taking the bus by himself? You probably don't charge him rent or make him cook his own dinner, either. Coddler.

[Janie Grace]

Cut the apron strings already, lady! He's two years old and still isn't taking the bus by himself? You probably don't charge him rent or make him cook his own dinner, either. Coddler.

 

:lol:

[MrsMe]

Cut the apron strings already, lady! He's two years old and still isn't taking the bus by himself? You probably don't charge him rent or make him cook his own dinner, either. Coddler.

 

:lol:

[Guest submarines]

I cannot imagine the scenario, though... are there preschool buses???

 

 

 

That's what I meant. Can't figure our what's scenario?

[bairnmama]

 

I cannot imagine the scenario, though... are there preschool buses???

 

 

 

There are preschool buses around here. 2 & 3 yr olds get picked up for Head Start and for early intervention preschools when the kids are determined to be "at risk" for falling behind when they reach K age.

[MrsMe]

I don't get the title of this thread. This is "one of the things wrong with our world"? You mean that moms think it's good for kids to be independent so young? I wouldn't share this mom's sentiments or her choices, but I can think of a lot of things MORE wrong with the world than this! (Sorry, I guess the molestation/s*xting threads are still on my mind.)

 

What's wrong with the world is that parents can't be bothered with their kids at 2 & 3 and think it's just fine. And I guess "it's great news!" I suppose in the sense there is more wrong with the world than this, sure, but it starts here.

[MrsMe]

Okay, so here's the answer. Really I thought it was a joke, but I guess not. To each "her" own. But I guess I don't know why he's going on a bus when she stays home....at two. I must be too old to get this.

 

 

ABC wrote: "It is good news. My son is showing indepence and letting go a little. I am a stay at home mom and he is very shy and clingy (2 yr olds sometimes are, I know). It's nice to know that he is opening up and making friends (his own age). Yes, I can't wait til he can ride it himself.

[mommaduck]

*here is me shaking my head* HE'S TWO YEARS OLD!!! Mine are social also, but there are times when I wish they were less so. My babies grow up too quickly (the five month old already wants to walk...hasn't yet, but she's getting things figured out).

[MrsMe]

*here is me shaking my head* HE'S TWO YEARS OLD!!!

 

:iagree: Two! Wow!

[MrsBasil]

Okay, so here's the answer. Really I thought it was a joke, but I guess not. To each "her" own. But I guess I don't know why he's going on a bus when she stays home....at two. I must be too old to get this.

 

 

ABC wrote: "It is good news. My son is showing indepence and letting go a little. I am a stay at home mom and he is very shy and clingy (2 yr olds sometimes are, I know). It's nice to know that he is opening up and making friends (his own age). Yes, I can't wait til he can ride it himself.

 

In my experience as the SAHM of a 2 year old and based on comments I have gotten.

 

Stay at home moms with young children are often told again and again how important it is to make sure your toddler gets proper social time. A clingy child is often shown as a sign that mom can't let go. A kid who would rather play with mom or by himself at the playground is thought to be too dependent on mom or proof that mom needs to cut the chord already.

 

Pre school is seen as extra important if a child didn't go to daycare because they need to learn to play with peers and be social in a group setting so they can be ready for school and the real world.

 

Again, IME this is what is pushed.

[Janie Grace]

In my experience as the SAHM of a 2 year old and based on comments I have gotten.

 

Stay at home moms with young children are often told again and again how important it is to make sure your toddler gets proper social time. A clingy child is often shown as a sign that mom can't let go. A kid who would rather play with mom or by himself at the playground is thought to be too dependent on mom or proof that mom needs to cut the chord already.

 

Pre school is seen as extra important if a child didn't go to daycare because they need to learn to play with peers and be social in a group setting so they can be ready for school and the real world.

 

Again, IME this is what is pushed.

 

Wow, I'm sure you're right. I am SO out of the loop on this (what people think/expect for preschoolers). My kids have their lives to be independent -- I'm grateful they want/need me when they're little!!!

[Mommy22alyns]

Cut the apron strings already, lady! He's two years old and still isn't taking the bus by himself? You probably don't charge him rent or make him cook his own dinner, either. Coddler.

 

 

:lol::lol:

[UnsinkableKristen]

Cut the apron strings already, lady! He's two years old and still isn't taking the bus by himself? You probably don't charge him rent or make him cook his own dinner, either. Coddler.

 

:lol:

[SonshineLearner]

Here I see the babies get sent to headstart.... while the mom goes to school or back to work. :(

[Wabi Sabi]

What an absolutely bizarre thread. A mother who is admitting that she's looking forward to a little break from her kid? THAT is the start of all that's wrong with the world?

 

I can think of many things wrong with this world: religious extremists, war, starving children, genocide, corporate greed, pollution, lack of clean water...the list could go on and on.

 

A mom who is she's appreciating a little space from her clingy toddler? Nowhere on that list. Not even close.

Edited September 22, 2011 by Wabi Sabi

[LND1218]

What an absolutely bizarre thread. A mother who is admitting that she's looking forward to a little break from her kid? THAT is the start of all that's wrong with the world?

 

I can think of many things wrong with this world: religious extremists, war, starving children, genocide, corporate greed, pollution, lack of clean water...the list could go on and on.

 

A mom who is she's appreciating a little space from her clingy toddler? Nowhere on that list. Not even close.

 

Well maybe that is at the root of all these problems. Maybe religious extremists wouldn't be that way if their mothers hadn't put them on the bus at 2. Or maybe starving children are only starving because their mothers aren't there. Any maybe if mothers never took breaks there would be no war. :lol: I am being sarcastic here....:tongue_smilie:

 

I don't know I still don't even understand why a mother is on the bus with her 2 year old. I mean does he go to preschool on the bus (other replies would suggest there are buses for toddlers.) And she rides with him? How does she get home? Does the bus take her back? Why not just take him herself? Or stay home? The entire thing confuses me...I hate that facebook status pick up in the middle of something... Maybe that is why I don't like facebook. I notice more poeple posting that way on forums.

 

They don't share the background or the lead up - just bam. and you left going huh??

[Impish]

Cut the apron strings already, lady! He's two years old and still isn't taking the bus by himself? You probably don't charge him rent or make him cook his own dinner, either. Coddler.

:lol:

In my experience as the SAHM of a 2 year old and based on comments I have gotten.

 

Stay at home moms with young children are often told again and again how important it is to make sure your toddler gets proper social time. A clingy child is often shown as a sign that mom can't let go. A kid who would rather play with mom or by himself at the playground is thought to be too dependent on mom or proof that mom needs to cut the chord already.

 

Pre school is seen as extra important if a child didn't go to daycare because they need to learn to play with peers and be social in a group setting so they can be ready for school and the real world.

 

Again, IME this is what is pushed.

:iagree:I was told the same about the Littles. *snort*

[Guest submarines]

My instinct is to agree with the OP--babies belong with their mothers, and a 2 yo is practically a baby.

 

However being able to stay with their mothers past the age of 3 or so, is an unheard privilidge for most of parents in the world. Even the most "AP" societies that we so admire, like the tribe in Africa who co-sleep, nurse until the child is 4 yo and so on (I forget now the name of that book), wean abruptly at 4, and send their 4 year olds to a different VILLAGE!

[awisha.]

Cut the apron strings already, lady! He's two years old and still isn't taking the bus by himself? You probably don't charge him rent or make him cook his own dinner, either. Coddler.

:smilielol5:

[funschooler5]

I don't know I still don't even understand why a mother is on the bus with her 2 year old. I mean does he go to preschool on the bus (other replies would suggest there are buses for toddlers.) And she rides with him? How does she get home? Does the bus take her back? Why not just take him herself? Or stay home? The entire thing confuses me...I hate that facebook status pick up in the middle of something... Maybe that is why I don't like facebook. I notice more poeple posting that way on forums.

 

They don't share the background or the lead up - just bam. and you left going huh??

 

Yeah, I didn't get it at all. I assumed the mom and the toddler were on a city bus (because why would the mom be on a school bus?). But then I was picturing a couple of toddlers off by themselves in their own seat and the kid going over to sit by them, leaving the mom alone in her seat. That also doesn't make sense. :lol:

[bettyandbob]

Perhaps

 

the child is in a preschool program and perhaps this is a field trip and the mother was one of the parents who signed up to volunteer.

 

My dd went to preschool at 3. They had fieldtrips. Parents needed to be to volunteer to go or they didn't get the chance--at least not to ride the bus. I think sometimes parents followed the bus. I remember some moms doing that for the pumpkin patch trip.

 

Maybe at this child's preschool a parent has to attend the field trip if the child is under 2, but can go alone if the child is 3 +.

 

My dd did not sit next to me on the bus on the fieldtrips. I didn't worry about it then. 10 years later she likes to get in my bed and tell me all about her life and friends. She also likes to hang with me and watch movies.

[justamouse]

What an absolutely bizarre thread. A mother who is admitting that she's looking forward to a little break from her kid? THAT is the start of all that's wrong with the world?

 

I can think of many things wrong with this world: religious extremists, war, starving children, genocide, corporate greed, pollution, lack of clean water...the list could go on and on.

 

A mom who is she's appreciating a little space from her clingy toddler? Nowhere on that list. Not even close.

 

 

After the day I've had today, and seeing what I've seen, yes, yes it IS the end of the world. That is the beginning of the end, right there.

 

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

[MrsMe]

Perhaps

 

the child is in a preschool program and perhaps this is a field trip and the mother was one of the parents who signed up to volunteer.

 

My dd went to preschool at 3. They had fieldtrips. Parents needed to be to volunteer to go or they didn't get the chance--at least not to ride the bus. I think sometimes parents followed the bus. I remember some moms doing that for the pumpkin patch trip.

 

Maybe at this child's preschool a parent has to attend the field trip if the child is under 2, but can go alone if the child is 3 +.

 

My dd did not sit next to me on the bus on the fieldtrips. I didn't worry about it then. 10 years later she likes to get in my bed and tell me all about her life and friends. She also likes to hang with me and watch movies.

 

Wasn't a field trip. Pre-school...or pre-pre-school.

[mommaduck]

What an absolutely bizarre thread. A mother who is admitting that she's looking forward to a little break from her kid? THAT is the start of all that's wrong with the world?

 

I know one that admits it openly on the net. I can't go into open detail here, but it makes my family go :confused: and :glare: whenever we read about it.

[sewingmama]

Man - if that mother thinks her 2yo is "clingy" then I hate to see what she would say about mine. :001_huh: Going off and sitting with his friends sounds very independent to me. My 2yo still has a bottle, paci and takes his blankie everywhere he goes - his only friends are his siblings and he screams and panics if I'm out of sight in public.

 

One of the reasons I decided to homeschool was because I thought my 5yo was too young to go on a bus to school alone (granted we don't have buses designated specifically for schools unless it's private so they ride with the general public).

 

I'm the worst coddler there is :tongue_smilie:

[justamouse]

In her book, Levine cites studies and surveys to back up her contention that children of affluent parents now exhibit “unexpectedly high rates of emotional problems beginning in junior high school.†This is no accident of demographics, Levine says, but instead is a direct result of the child-raising practices that prevail in well-off American homes; wealthy parents today, she argues, are more likely to be emotionally distant from their children, and at the same time to insist on high levels of achievement, a potentially toxic blend of influences that can create “intense feelings of shame and hopelessness†in affluent children.

 

Link

[bettyandbob]

Wasn't a field trip. Pre-school...or pre-pre-school.

 

 

Preschools do go on field trips. There are preschool programs that include 2 year olds.

 

My post states that my dd went to preschool at age 3. And she did go on field trips on the bus owned by the preschool. This was not a public program. It was a private cooperative preschool. I see many preschools in my area taking field trips. I know some preschools take children as young as 2. So, yes the mother could have been describing a preschool field trip.

[snickelfritz]

 

 

Preschools do go on field trips. There are preschool programs that include 2 year olds.

 

My post states that my dd went to preschool at age 3. And she did go on field trips on the bus owned by the preschool. This was not a public program. It was a private cooperative preschool. I see many preschools in my area taking field trips. I know some preschools take children as young as 2. So, yes the mother could have been describing a preschool field trip.

 

YEP.

 

I think it's hard to figure out WHY the mother was on the bus with her child, UNLESS it was a field trip or they were on a public bus. Why ride the school bus to school with your child? How does mom get home?

 

I took it as musings of a person who was amused that their clingy child went and sat by, either, classmates on a field trip or by another child on the public bus. Either of those (as long as I sat very near on the public bus) isn't really that strange.

 

And as much time as I spent with my children (as someone who worked, at most, 8 hours a week and mostly none and b'fed exclusively for at least a year, while pumping extra milk for children who would never take it.) I still found myself looking forward to them having some independence (when b'feeding and they would NOT EVER take a bottle, or when they screamed for any sitter including dh.)

 

And yes, I even verbalized that sometimes. Thank goodness my friends didn't blame the decline of the world on me.

[Mrs. A]

In my experience as the SAHM of a 2 year old and based on comments I have gotten.

 

Stay at home moms with young children are often told again and again how important it is to make sure your toddler gets proper social time. A clingy child is often shown as a sign that mom can't let go. A kid who would rather play with mom or by himself at the playground is thought to be too dependent on mom or proof that mom needs to cut the chord already.

 

Pre school is seen as extra important if a child didn't go to daycare because they need to learn to play with peers and be social in a group setting so they can be ready for school and the real world.

 

Again, IME this is what is pushed.

 

 

I get this kind of attitude all. the. time. Usually I can let it slide, but sometimes it really irks me. I will allow my children to be able to depend on me to meet their emotional needs for the rest of their lives, thank you very much! Of course i will foster independence and autonomy, but only when I see that they are ready.

[Renee in NC]

 

 

Preschools do go on field trips. There are preschool programs that include 2 year olds.

 

My post states that my dd went to preschool at age 3. And she did go on field trips on the bus owned by the preschool. This was not a public program. It was a private cooperative preschool. I see many preschools in my area taking field trips. I know some preschools take children as young as 2. So, yes the mother could have been describing a preschool field trip.

 

 

I *think* what the post means is that Mom is on the bus with her 2yo on the way to a field trip. Once he turns 3, she won't have to go on the field trips anymore, so she won't be on the bus.

 

My 2yo goes to preschool. The purpose *is* independence because we are working hard on his language skills. There is a family history of severe language issues coupled with 6 older siblings who will talk for him.:glare: After consulting with his speech therapist (who has NO problems with homeschooling), we decided that 2 day a week preschool would help develop his language skills. It is working and I am happy with the arrangement.

 

I don't understand why everything has to be one extreme or another.

[BarbecueMom]

After the day I've had today, and seeing what I've seen, yes, yes it IS the end of the world. That is the beginning of the end, right there.

 

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.

 

I had no idea I was creating a disturbance in the force by looking forward to nap time and Grandma days. Unless I'm interpreting this wrong, it makes me sad to read stuff like this. Yes, I get tired and want a break from them once in a while. I don't have big kids to help and years of experience to build zen-like patience. I look forward to the day I can tell them to go outside, without me walking across the top of the yard like a Pong paddle to keep kids from running in the street.

 

Off to feed my kids breakfast before they grow up to resent me...

 

ETA: I also took it as a joke, a reference to parents saying, "I can't wait until you are 16 and can drive yourself!" after running them from activity to activity for so many years. It just sounds funny to say, "Ah, at least when he's three he can ride the bus alone!" as a way of observing your little one growing up. I remember the first time DS3 started playing WITH and not alongside kids at the playground. It's a profound moment, and there is that twinge of, "He doesn't need me for this!" It's not a bad thing.

Edited September 23, 2011 by BarbecueMom

[Wabi Sabi]

Here I see the babies get sent to headstart.... while the mom goes to school or back to work. :(

 

I fail to see the problem. The mom is going back to SCHOOL or WORK, not ditching the kid and going out to party. Headstart (and Early Headstart) is for low-income families so it's probably safe to assume that mothers in this situation have no choice but to work or go to school in order to try to support their families.

 

I hadn't realized that it was considered acceptable here to bash mothers who aren't able to stay at home.

[Renee in NC]

I fail to see the problem. The mom is going back to SCHOOL or WORK, not ditching the kid and going out to party. Headstart (and Early Headstart) is for low-income families so it's probably safe to assume that mothers in this situation have no choice but to work or go to school in order to try to support their families.

 

I hadn't realized that it was considered acceptable here to bash mothers who aren't able to stay at home.

 

It's pretty much acceptable here to bash THOSE people. Who THOSE people are changes from day to day and thread to thread!:lol:

 

Sometimes its ps families being bashed and sometimes it is homeschooling families being bashed. Poor people or rich people. You get the picture.;) Everything seems to work in extremes - there is no room in the general internet world for the middle ground.:tongue_smilie:

[justamouse]

I had no idea I was creating a disturbance in the force by looking forward to nap time and Grandma days. Unless I'm interpreting this wrong, it makes me sad to read stuff like this. Yes, I get tired and want a break from them once in a while. I don't have big kids to help and years of experience to build zen-like patience. I look forward to the day I can tell them to go outside, without me walking across the top of the yard like a Pong paddle to keep kids from running in the street.

 

Off to feed my kids breakfast before they grow up to resent me...

 

ETA: I also took it as a joke, a reference to parents saying, "I can't wait until you are 16 and can drive yourself!" after running them from activity to activity for so many years. It just sounds funny to say, "Ah, at least when he's three he can ride the bus alone!" as a way of observing your little one growing up. I remember the first time DS3 started playing WITH and not alongside kids at the playground. It's a profound moment, and there is that twinge of, "He doesn't need me for this!" It's not a bad thing.

 

My link with the previous quote

 

In her book, Levine cites studies and surveys to back up her contention that children of affluent parents now exhibit “unexpectedly high rates of emotional problems beginning in junior high school.†This is no accident of demographics, Levine says, but instead is a direct result of the child-raising practices that prevail in well-off American homes; wealthy parents today, she argues, are more likely to be emotionally distant from their children, and at the same time to insist on high levels of achievement, a potentially toxic blend of influences that can create “intense feelings of shame and hopelessness†in affluent children.

 

It's not that they want time off, it's not that they want a break. It's not that they work. It's the general attitude I've been seeing from parents that they really don't want to invest the time to raise their kids. They're too tired to raise them, and so they can't wait for them to be independent so they can raise themselves. That attitude, that emotional distance, starts when you see comments like that. Foist off the two year old so he can ride the bus by himself and I can get some time to myself. :glare:

 

No, not ALL parents are like that, but I'm starting to see way too many of them. It's not either or. You can have a SAHM with the same attitude. But it's there, and it's hurting kids and families and in the end, society.

[MrsMe]

What an absolutely bizarre thread. A mother who is admitting that she's looking forward to a little break from her kid? THAT is the start of all that's wrong with the world?

 

I know one that admits it openly on the net. I can't go into open detail here, but it makes my family go :confused: and :glare: whenever we read about it.

 

That's not the start, it's one of the things wrong with the world. The point isn't the break. The point is that she can't wait for her kid to ride the bus himself at 3! So you all think this is normal? I think it's pathetic. The point is that she's a stay at home mom; um...for who? The point is if perhaps more parents didn't dislike the fact that a 2 year old was clingy they'd spend more time with their kid than ship them off to a school at 2 years old!

 

You can add or take away anything you want to this thread. She's not on a field trip, she doesn't need a break, it's not headstart. She's on a bus for school! Good grief, if you didn't want the kid, then why did you have them? Complaining about clingy kids at 2? Can't wait till their on a bus themselves at 3? Kids shouldn't be raised by a school. They should be raised by a parent and in this case, if she's a stay at home mom, she should do it!

A break is something completely different! I can't tell you how many moms can't wait to dump their kids off. And their affluent.

Edited September 23, 2011 by alilac

[MrsMe]

My link with the previous quote

 

 

 

It's not that they want time off, it's not that they want a break. It's not that they work. It's the general attitude I've been seeing from parents that they really don't want to invest the time to raise their kids. They're too tired to raise them, and so they can't wait for them to be independent so they can raise themselves. That attitude, that emotional distance, starts when you see comments like that. Foist off the two year old so he can ride the bus by himself and I can get some time to myself. :glare:

 

No, not ALL parents are like that, but I'm starting to see way too many of them. It's not either or. You can have a SAHM with the same attitude. But it's there, and it's hurting kids and families and in the end, society.

 

Thank you Justamouse. You hit the nail on the head. I don't understand why this concept is being missed in this thread. I respectfully mean this; that I'm sad for those who really don't understand this. Kids need their moms.

Edited September 23, 2011 by alilac

[Renee in NC]

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