ktgrok Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 My son loves his new homeschool friends. But sometimes I wonder when these kids get school work done! Midweek sleep overs are the norm, especially with the girls. Today he spent all afternoon doing a scavenger hunt at the mall with these kids, then wanted to spend the night at one of the kid's house. My problems were that 1. it is a school night. We have school work to do tomorrow, and a field trip in the afternoon, so morning is school time for sure tomorrow. 2, several of the girls from the group are spending the night, invited by this boy's sister. They would be in separate rooms, on separate floors, but it seems like inviting trouble to me. I know my son has a crush on one of the girls, and while I don't think anything to awful would happen you just never know! I'm not crazy, am I? At least I handled it better today. He was upset, but I just kept repeating "you are not able to tonight, but you can tell him you are available tomorrow night." He was pouty, but since I didn't engage he didn't escalate, and is outside playing with the neighbors now. ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I hear ya! I feel the same way about sleeping over during the school week. Than again, I am not really big on sleepovers anyway. I decided this school year that I needed to tighten up how much time the kids are with their friends. It can easily turn into lots of time with friends during the day to the point where school work is second. I know I got in this mind set, well, they need the socialization :) How come the kids need more socialization and as I get older I need less?:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 There is nothing wrong with having boundries. My kids don't do sleepovers during the week for the very same reason. You can't compare yourself to other parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 Well, we don't do sleep overs at all so I don't think you are too strict there! Between homeschool group and field trips we are still asked over to other homeschool families' homes for "play dates". I'm the big meanie because 99% of the time I say no. Our schooling takes longer every year and our kids have daily chores. Just that takes most of the day. Our homeschool group meets once a week and we go once or twice a month. In the evenings in the spring and fall we have baseball almost every night. I don't know how all these people are fitting in their social time and schooling either. We certainly aren't able to do both! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 We do not do sleepovers during the school week. But apparently, most other kids in our homeschool group do. We seem to be the only ones who start school at 8am and expect a certain number of work hours to be put in every day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 You are definitely not crazy! Is there a big unschooling population among the homeschoolers where you are? I notice this kind of thing here, and it usually seems that those who do every hs field trip, park day, midweek sleepover, and so on are the unschoolers. I often feel very strict because academics actually matter at our house. We can't do most of the fun-sounding field trips and play days because we have schoolwork to do! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 No weekday sleepovers allowed here either. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 In our world there is only one night a week available for sleepovers, and that is Friday. Other nights are school nights, and a Saturday sleepover ruins church on Sunday. I am often the only mom asserting these boundaries and yes, it does drive me a little nuts at times. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 there's NO WAY I'd allow my kids at a co-ed sleep over, separate rooms or not. NO WAY. Although we've never done it, I would allow a midweek sleepover or a day off of school for socializing. This, to me, is the beauty of homeschooling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Runningmom80 Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 I wont allow weekday sleepovers either. I don't think you are overly strict at all! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiMomNP Posted September 8, 2011 Share Posted September 8, 2011 No weekday sleepovers. Friday night only. Saturday is for us, I am not being the neighborhood babysitter all weekend. Hold fast to your boundaries, aspies really need them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UmMusa Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm with you, Mamma! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted September 9, 2011 Author Share Posted September 9, 2011 there's NO WAY I'd allow my kids at a co-ed sleep over, separate rooms or not. NO WAY. Although we've never done it, I would allow a midweek sleepover or a day off of school for socializing. This, to me, is the beauty of homeschooling. We did once, a few weeks ago, because they got back from a trip from the beach later than we wanted to be driving. But he saw this friend yesterday for 4 hours at co-op, then today for 3 hours with our middle school support group, and will see him tomorrow for a field trip to the local PBS television station. No worries about socializing here :) Glad I'm not the only one not cool with a co-ed sleep over! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm very much a no nonsense, get started early, school all five days sort of mom. I would make a rare exception for some specific reason but not just 'cause. The co-ed thing would bother me too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 We don't do much during the week and esp no sleepovers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KristinaBreece Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I can see going for an occasional weeknight sleep over, but I wouldn't say yes the first time a kid asked for one. Too much like setting a precedent, IMO. And I went to a lot of co-ed sleepovers as a kid and into my teen years. There were never boy/girl issues, though. It was just something we did with our friends from the time we were little. Of course, I have many of the same friends now that I made in Kindy and before, so it's probably different when the relationship is fraternal like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 Weeknight sleepiness are definitely not the norm around here. I would say no if they were. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 (edited) Some hs folks I know do allow mid-week sleepovers and other 'non-schooly' activities. We mostly don't and it's because I can't handle it. We have a very busy household. I simply can't deal with last-minute mid-week activites ! No way, now how. lol I need mega lead time! However, some of the more flexible hsing folks I know are pretty darn together and can handle these things-- and with children who are pretty darn intelligent! One of the kids from a 'relaxed' hsing family -- someone I knew a million years ago ---started his first year of grad school at Harvard last week. So really, whatever they did worked out fine (wrt societal expectations) in the end! :001_smile: So! I think it's fine to say Nope (that's me)! But it also seems fine, ime, to say OK! Edited September 9, 2011 by LibraryLover Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Caterpiller Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I can see going for an occasional weeknight sleep over, but I wouldn't say yes the first time a kid asked for one. Too much like setting a precedent, IMO. And I went to a lot of co-ed sleepovers as a kid and into my teen years. There were never boy/girl issues, though. It was just something we did with our friends from the time we were little. Of course, I have many of the same friends now that I made in Kindy and before, so it's probably different when the relationship is fraternal like that. Same. I was thinking, "Oh no boy girl sleep overs" too. And then thought... wait a minute, -I- went to boy girl sleep overs when I was younger. :lol: Specifically it was, I was there for my friend, and my brother was there for his friend... my friends brother. My friends brother felt like a brother to me and I am guessing my friend felt simular to my brother. The four of us all spent a lot of time together too, and on occasion all slept in the living room together, or out on the trampoline. There were other instances as well and the girls were just not interested in being aorund the guys. So I do think there are acceptions to the rule. However since you know he has a crush on one of the girls, I would avoid it for that reason. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 My son has had boy/girl sleepovers with our sibling neighbor kids. He's only 10 and they have a GREAT time. It's actually a little sad to think of this threesome not being able to have sleep overs together. My younger runs with the kids too, even though she's younger by 2 1/2 years than all of them. Absolutely no weeknight sleepovers here. Actually, my kids getting a sleep over at all is a huge deal. Like maybe a few times a year for my older, and my youngest has only had one with one older girl at our house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
msjones Posted September 9, 2011 Share Posted September 9, 2011 I'm very much a no nonsense, get started early, school all five days sort of mom. I would make a rare exception for some specific reason but not just 'cause. The co-ed thing would bother me too. :iagree: We don't mess with school days. Heck, I don't even answer the phone during the school day. And, no, no co-ed overnighters. I was allowed to go to those, and I haven't forgotten... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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