legal trouble related to homeschooling?

[Pam L in Mid Tenn]

If you have written proof you are fulfilling your state's requirements then I would not worry about it legally. If it would make you feel better to have some worksheets completed, then find some free worksheets on the internet. Do 2 or 3 math sheets, 2 or 3 phonics sheets, some coloring pages for history and science. Keep them in a binder labeled, "Samples of Schoolwork".

:grouphug:

[hollyandab]

The ONLY reason I would have to worry is that my triplets were born prematurely, so they have some delays (which they are in therapy for). But that does mean that they are behind other kids their age. The good thing though is that there are a lot of therapists (and their notes!) in our lives that can vouch that the kids have made great progress even though they are still behind, so clearly we are doing something at home.

Okay, just the fact that you have triplets will get you off the hook for being behind in laundry! Ha!

 

The government can't even provide half-way decent homes for the kids already in their system--they have no room to talk! And the fact that you're taking your kids to therapy for their delays shows you are a good parent. And remember, they're only in Kindergarten, for heaven's sake! In KY, my twins didn't even have to go to school in kindy (although we did), so just relax and enjoy your little ones. I would definitely defriend, or at least block, your aunt on FB. Absolutely ridiculous. Also, I'm not positive about this, but I think I read somewhere that if the state knocks on your door to come into your house and check up on you regarding homeschooling, that you have the legal right to to refuse them access into your home and that you can tell them to set up an appointment, and that appointment does not have to be in your house. It can be set up at the school where you can bring your schedule of hours/samples of work. I would check into HSLDA if I were you. That has got to be nerve-wracking...goodness! But remember, you have the right to homeschool, so stand your ground!!

 

And....if anyone wants to complain about your messy house, tell them to take care of all of your kids for just one day and see what they have to say after that!! When my twins were that age, it was crazy, let alone triplets and a baby!!:tongue_smilie::tongue_smilie:Ack!!

 

Holly

[saraha]

If you have written proof you are fulfilling your state's requirements then I would not worry about it legally. If it would make you feel better to have some worksheets completed, then find some free worksheets on the internet. Do 2 or 3 math sheets, 2 or 3 phonics sheets, some coloring pages for history and science. Keep them in a binder labeled, "Samples of Schoolwork".

:grouphug:

Do this if it makes you feel better. You do not need to join HSLDA.

 

 

My husband worked for cps too. He said they are not in the business to remove people's children, they are in the business of protecting children. In extreme cases, that means removal. MOST of the time, it means getting a family the help it needs. You and your children do not need help. You are doing a fantastic job by your children and it will be very evident to any caseworker. If for some reason they do come to your door (My husband's office went out on every report), meet them on the porch. Be confident, polite, and let them know what is going on. If they want to come in, it is up to you, but if it were me, I would let them in. They will quickly understand that you do not need their help in raising your children and your children do not need their protection. I am very confident that if you explain the relationship with your aunt, they will see it for what it is worth.

Do not let this affect your life. You are an intelligent person capable of making sound decisions. If you let this woman erode your confidence, that is more detrimental to your family than a quick check up from cps. Your confidence in what you are doing is of the utmost importance to your husband and kids, and to your homeschooling success. It sounds like you are looking for reassurance that you are doing the right thing. Well, you are! If your confidence in yourself and your decisions erodes, than your aunt wins, and she didn't even have to report you. She wants some power and control in your life, so don't give her any. She can only have as much as you give her.

As for social workers, there are some social workers who are more aggressive than others, but they are just trying to do their job, and some of them have seen some horrific things. Patience and kindness are called for in those situations, their vigilance and aggressiveness just might save a child's life (not yours obviously). OR, they are new to their career and are on a crusade to save the world. I know that getting a visit from some nasty cps officer is scary and unpleasant, but if you look at it from their perspective, you might be able to understand their attitude. It doesn't make it right, but a little understanding goes a long way for someone who is in a really emotionaly challenging career. Ok, I will get off my soapbox now :tongue_smilie:

[AuntieM]

Not sure whether or not this would be a good idea, but in addition to having a legal assistance person (HSLDA or other) on a quick-phone-call list, would Megan also benefit from having a couple of friends (maybe a pastor) on standby, too? Someone who she could call to come over and serve as sort of a witness to any interchange between Megan and a potentially ill-intentioned social worker?

 

Not sure if that would help, just a thought. Those of you with CPS experience, please chime in.

 

Also, please do talk with whoever is in charge of women's ministry or member care in your church. If your dh is often travelling, you need some respite care, Megan! Some alone time every now and then! Let them help you out! There are so many empty-nester women at my church that would love to chip in, for someone in your situation... let someone like that help every now and then. They will love the opportunity.

[RanchGirl]

Given that she used to work in CPS in your state, she may have an in or know just who to call. I would unfriend her on fb and completely disengage. Then do as others have mentioned...

 

Get the house looking clean, especially from the front door.

Print out the laws and make sure you are in 100%compliance.

Make sure you have friends or a pastor over so you have witnesses to yur amazing mothering and teaching.

Make sure you are current on the kids' dr visits.

Join hslda.

Relax and enjoy your kids and feel sorry for this miserable lady.

[ktgrok]

I'd put together a file with the laws printed out, and evidence you are meeting them. Some letters from the kids therapists saying your kids are healthy and meeting their goals. And anything else you have that shows they are doing well. Then keep it near the door and forget about it. But do spend some time putting together a system for organization....I'm thinking bins are a great idea. I use them for toy boxes too. Just throw everything in them at least once a day. Pretty baskets also work.

[Parker Martin]

I don't think they care about messy unless it is an unsafe sort of messy, like you're using a corner in a room as a bathroom. Messy living is considered, I've heard, a lifestyle choice.

[ElizaG]

The reading is the same way – we have been working on it, but as my lessons are tailored to the kids, we are a little stalled out right now. Two kids are supposed to be NOT doing reading lessons per the vision therapist/eye doctor (...) So when you look at the phonics book’s table of contents, we haven’t moved forward in like a month. Again, I have recorded “reviewed CVC wordsâ€, but that isn’t really much proof.

As long as you're keeping some kind of journal of what you're doing, I wouldn't worry about proof at this stage. People who follow Montessori or other hands-on methods don't usually have a lot of written "trophies" either.

 

Just a suggestion, though... if the children aren't ready for typical K-level phonics lessons, you could make a note of a couple of pre-reading and pre-writing activities you did each day, e.g.:

 

Nursery rhymes and songs

Picture books you read to them

Rhyming games

Identifying initial sounds ("I spy something beginning with sss")

Pattern/picture matching activities

Making up stories

Drawing with crayons

 

or anything else that encourages an interest in books or helps to develop their oral language, pattern recognition, sequencing, or fine motor skills.

 

Not that this is any of your aunt's business, but it would make your records more complete, and show that you're giving your children what they need at their developmental level. :)

[kalanamak]

That homeschooling is legal in every state does not mean that homeschoolers who are in complaince with the law will be free from harrasment. If that were so, HSLDA would be completely out of business, as well as other organizations that defend homeschoolers' rights.

 

Any stats on cases that are more than bark bark bark? Some people stay in business because people are afraid, and keep buying the service. :)

 

The last time I looked at their website, I was underwhelmed. Do they have more statistical records not visible on the first few pages?

[Trish]

Defriend auntie! Maybe a restraining order...

[DawnM]

I can't quite see how CPS would be marching to your door for homeschooling. I would see more clearly CPS laughing at your aunt's call.

 

This is from the South Carolina CPS website:

 

https://dss.sc.gov/content/customers/protection/index.aspx

 

Child Protective Services - Child Protective Services investigates reports of and protects children from abuse or neglect within their families, in foster care, or by other persons responsible for the child’s welfare.

 

You are doing NONE of the above....so really don't sweat it.

 

I am also a bit snarky and have more of a "I dare them to show up at my door" attitude when it comes to homeschooling.

 

Dawn

[EmilyinND]

HELP!

 

 

A gazillion years ago, she was a social worker in the state where we live now,

 

 

That's a scary thought!!:blink:

[MeganW]

Update: I ended up not educating my kids for two days last week, and instead spent hours and hours each day sorting, filing, and purging. It's not perfect, but WOW can you say better??? I can find anything!!! All the flat surfaces are cleared, everything is minimally dusted & vacuumed, etc.

 

I wouldn't be embarrassed for anyone to come in now, and it is honestly such a humungous relief to finally have this mostly done!!! Finishing now is achievable, rather than a totally overwhelming thought. And if I don't finish, it'll be OK.

 

I've gone way above and beyond with schoolwork since June, so now that the house is in shape, I can confidently face anyone with questions.

 

Thanks, mean auntie!!! What you meant for evil has turned out to be a blessing to me and my family!!!

 

Also, I contacted my state-required homeschool accountability person, explained the situation, and she was fine with everything I was doing and basically told me I had no reason to worry!

Edited September 11, 2011 by MeganW

[chepyl]

Update: I ended up not educating my kids for two days last week, and instead spent hours and hours each day sorting, filing, and purging. It's not perfect, but WOW can you say better??? I can find anything!!! All the flat surfaces are cleared, everything is minimally dusted & vacuumed, etc.

 

I wouldn't be embarrassed for anyone to come in now, and it is honestly such a humungous relief to finally have this mostly done!!! Finishing now is achievable, rather than a totally overwhelming thought. And if I don't finish, it'll be OK.

 

I've gone way above and beyond with schoolwork since June, so now that the house is in shape, I can confidently face anyone with questions.

 

Thanks, mean auntie!!! What you meant for evil has turned out to be a blessing to me and my family!!!

 

Also, I contacted my state-required homeschool accountability person, explained the situation, and she was fine with everything I was doing and basically told me I had no reason to worry!

 

Don't you just love the feeling of a clean house :)! I am glad you are feeling better about your situation and talked to someone who could help you out some.

[Jen in PA]

Don't you just love the feeling of a clean house :)! I am glad you are feeling better about your situation and talked to someone who could help you out some.

 

:iagree:

[kalanamak]

 

Thanks, mean auntie!!! What you meant for evil has turned out to be a blessing to me and my family!!!

 

 

ha HA! Yes, one must not sin one's blessings.:party:

 

Now then, 15 solid, fast-moving minutes a day, and you'll be amazed how your new order can stay. Set a timer and get the kids to do their part, too.

[Harriet Vane]

Update: I ended up not educating my kids for two days last week, and instead spent hours and hours each day sorting, filing, and purging. It's not perfect, but WOW can you say better??? I can find anything!!! All the flat surfaces are cleared, everything is minimally dusted & vacuumed, etc.

 

I wouldn't be embarrassed for anyone to come in now, and it is honestly such a humungous relief to finally have this mostly done!!! Finishing now is achievable, rather than a totally overwhelming thought. And if I don't finish, it'll be OK.

 

I've gone way above and beyond with schoolwork since June, so now that the house is in shape, I can confidently face anyone with questions.

 

Thanks, mean auntie!!! What you meant for evil has turned out to be a blessing to me and my family!!!

 

Also, I contacted my state-required homeschool accountability person, explained the situation, and she was fine with everything I was doing and basically told me I had no reason to worry!

 

:thumbup1:

[torikei]

This is a wonderful example of how to turn a negative into a blessing!!:thumbup::thumbup1::thumbup:

 

Tori

[Beauty From Ashes]

I would screen shot what she said, document what's happened in your family, and file it away just in case. Then, I would get this woman 100% out of your life. I would unfriend AND block her on FB so she can't even PM you or see anything you have on your page. I would change your number if you can block her number. I would even ask your very close family members, if they don't want to unfriend her, to not say one single word about your family to her. Not even, "they are doing great". No news is good news.

 

I would get the house in order. I see a few people have made some awesome suggestions there. I haven't read everything yet. But know that my husband has walked into some HORRIBLE houses and CPS hasn't touched the kids, not even a threat of it. So don't kill yourself to the point of exhausting yourself.

 

No, you don't have to let them in, not even the cops. My husband is a cop and, unless he has immediate probable cause (he hears a woman screaming as she's being beaten, he sees a very, very neglected child in his sight, etc, he sees drugs being used, and so on) he can't make entry unless it's either given to him by the home owner or by a search warrant. Same goes for CPS. But, know that once you let them in, your right to illegal search and seizure flies out the window. So, you can't get upset later about that. Choose wisely.

 

And no, it doesn't make you look guilty to say no to a request for entry. My husband, unless you are someone really bad, normally just goes on his merry way. Oh, CPS might threaten you with "well, I will just get a search warrant" to which you nicely smile and calmly say, "OK, thank you, that would be appreciated before entering our home" and then you immediately call your attorney. Even if CPS and a cop show up you don't have to let them enter without a warrant.

 

I would relax. She's probably blowing smoke and doesn't mean it, just wants to be a mean-hearted person, attempting to hurt another person with her words.

[Alicia64]

If it were me, I would tell that *$%!@ to get bent. Then I would tell her that I am following the letter of the law and that if she made trouble for me, I would be taking her to court and suing her for everything I could get. I would not say it nicely and I would NEVER have anything to do with that *$%!@ again, ever. I would unfriend her on Facebook, block her e-mail and telephone number and in general, pretend she was dead. But before all that, take screen shots of her absurd comments so you can use them as evidence.

 

Seriously, there is NO room in my life for toxic people like that. I am going through this (not this situation, but toxic relatives) in my own life. I have just decided that life is too short to risk infecting your family with toxic people. Shut them out and make no excuses.

 

That person does not care about you and your family, she should not be within 100 mile radius of you or your kids.

 

:iagree: I can't agree more. Block her totally. And talk w/ your state's homeschool legal camp. This woman is a major bully .

 

Someone once called CPS on me and two young and very kind police officers showed up entirely unexpected at my door. The house happened to be clean and the baby was sleeping.

 

They apologized for bothering me and left.

 

Of course I called my sister and freaked out at that point but my guess is that CPS really is looking for the truly awful conditions like a previous poster mentioned.

 

I doubt they'll be checking out your Right Start pages. :lol:

 

Let us know how it goes.

 

Alley

[SweetMissMagnolia]

:grouphug:

[MeganW]

Now then, 15 solid, fast-moving minutes a day, and you'll be amazed how your new order can stay. Set a timer and get the kids to do their part, too.

 

GREAT point!!! It is SOOOO relaxing to sit right now, b/c there isn't stuff everywhere!! I need to do whatever it takes to keep it this way!!!

[kalanamak]

GREAT point!!! It is SOOOO relaxing to sit right now, b/c there isn't stuff everywhere!! I need to do whatever it takes to keep it this way!!!

 

My son loves the race. I have my task, and he his (he always wins ;).)

 

Another thing I do is tell him anything left on the floor in 5 minutes goes in the trash. He gets this after I've asked him to pick up twice (he is supposed to pick up while I'm at work). He becomes a tow-headed blur.