LauraGB Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 (edited) Today, dd wanted to write a letter about homeschooling to one of her favorite "vloggers" because he mentioned in one of his videos that he wanted to homeschool his kids when they got older. She wrote it, stamped it, and put it in the mail box. I hadn't read it. I made her go get it and I read it. It was a nicely written letter about why she feels it's important to homeschool through highschool (and she only had two minor grammar mistakes :hurray:). I didn't let her send it. My thoughts were that she found this man on the internet, she doesn't know him and she really shouldn't be writing letters to strange men she thinks are cool from youtube. However, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I *might* be being somewhat unreasonable. When the kids were younger, they wrote letters to their favorite authors for grammar class. They were thrilled when they received replies. It was fun for everyone. I feel like this is different. But is it? Would you let her send the letter? Edited June 7, 2011 by LauraGB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 My thoughts were that she found this man on the internet, she doesn't know him and she really shouldn't be writing letters to a strange man from youtube. This is really all I need to know. I would not let her send it either, and most especially would not let her send a snail-mail with return address on it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I might consider sending it if it contained no identifying info (last name, address) in the letter or envelope. So, no return address or full signature. How old is your dd? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I would have hesitated, too. Ultimately I think I'd let her send it without the return address *OR* I'd let her submit the letter via email. My son has an email account linked to mine (so I see all correspondance, usually before he does) but I have a spam account that I check every few weeks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 How old is your dd? 12. I should add that I did change the wording a bit in my op. I've seen the guy's videos. He's a pretty popular "vlogger". He's youngish (but still an adult), he's funny, and I'm sure he gets "fan" mail a lot. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abreakfromlife Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I think a random dude on the internet is different than an established, somewhat famous, author. Even if the author is a creep, they aren't likely to do anything to a kid because of the bad publicity. An anonymous guy won't have the same constraints. I wouldn't do it, and I'm pretty lax when it comes to stranger-danger stuff :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 However, the more I think about it, the more I feel like I *might* be being somewhat unreasonable. When the kids were younger, they wrote letters to their favorite authors for grammar class. They were thrilled when they received replies. It was fun for everyone. I would let her send it. I think it is much like sending a letter to your favorite author. No one has necessarily "vetted" authors before they publish books. They are just as likely to be whacko as an internet vlogger. I don't see a vlogger as equal to some old(er) man trolling chat rooms looking for young girls to talk to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I would just have her remove identifying information if that bothered me and then send it. It would seem unreasonable to me to not let her send it despite those precautions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I would let her mail it without a full name and return address. In my mind, that's even more anonymous than email. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aelwydd Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I don't think you're being unreasonable. You're being cautious, which is different. I think that if you let dd send the letter, chances are nothing bad will come of it, and the young man is not likely to be a sexual predator or whatever. You do take a risk (albeit a small one) whenever you use snail mail and a return addy. I think I would probably let her send it, with the caveat that I get to screen any return mail or emails he sends her first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I would have let her send it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted June 7, 2011 Author Share Posted June 7, 2011 I don't think the guy's a perv. I'm not even sure what my hang up is, to be honest. Maybe it's because she's so young and allowing her any communication with strangers from the internet might be sending the wrong message to her? I don't know. I mean, she's growing up in a communication era that is vastly different from the one in which I grew up. And it's kind of scary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
july19 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I agree with those saying to send it but without personal info attached. My husband, due to his many college projects and side personal interests, writes online for a huge website, has video compilations he has edited and uploaded on youtube, and does a radio show, too. He gets a lot of fanmail from all three places, though it's usually through email, and he is always quick to respond with a generous thank you. When he does get "snail-mail" letters delivered to the set-up P.O. Box, a lot of mail come with no return addresses or obviously fake ones (123 Fake Street, Faketown, FA). He always assumes it's a child, and then smiles that he's able to reach a huge array of ages =) I think it's wonderful that she is passionate enough about homeschooling to take the time to write the note. I say let her send it, just nix the personal info. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 How did she get his address. Is in on his blog? If so he's probably used to getting at least some things. I would probably let her send it, without a return address, or could she leave an anonymous comment on the blog? We've let ds have a youtube account and he PMs with some "friends" and has done some communication before via mail. But we oversee it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 I feel horrid that all I can think about is - who is the vlogger??? :o If you remove all identifying information, I would let her send it. Caution is NOT the same as unreasonable. You are exercising caution. (And frankly, not to the point of being unreasonable.) You could go back to her and tell her that all due caution must be exercised when contacting strangers and that if she wants to send the letter she needs to follow this safety protocol. I don't think it is too big a deal and I don't think you are making it a big deal, either. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I would let her send it, and I would be fine with using a return address. The more important factor here, imo, is to remind her that you need to be aware of all communications, whether they be email, snail mail, skype, whatever. Both incoming and outgoing, so if he replies, and she gets the mail, she needs to let you know (and you need to read it). Of course, I also let my kids talk to strangers, if I'm with them. And I've personally 'met' some cool people on the internet, some of whom I've then met irl. Caution and open communication are the key safety factors. I see this guy as a pretty safe bet. I just flashed back to the pen pal section they used to have in all the teen magazines, lol. Don't talk to strangers, but, by all means, let Tiger Beat publish your name, address, and photo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Isn't mail for authors sent more in care of their agents? Or is that not true? Anyway - it doesn't seem so personal. I think if you remove identifying information it's ok. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Isn't mail for authors sent more in care of their agents? Or is that not true? Anyway - it doesn't seem so personal. I think if you remove identifying information it's ok. Sometimes it's sent in care of their publisher, sometimes they have a PO Box, sometimes avid fans figure out their street address ;) It really makes no difference, though. However you send it, the author can read it if they choose, and reply if they choose. The publisher is not supervising their responses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 Do you know much about the vlogger? Can't she just send it without a return address? Or send it as an email? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 8, 2011 Share Posted June 8, 2011 I would let her mail it without a full name and return address. In my mind, that's even more anonymous than email. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted June 8, 2011 Author Share Posted June 8, 2011 Okay. I'm going to let her send it, sans last name and return address. She got the address from his website. I don't let her email people I don't know. She can't see the comments nor can she leave one on her youtube account. I can kind of see where allowing this would come in handy now, but I just can't quite get there yet. She's just 12 (a mature 12, but 12 none the less), and I'd hate to be responsible for filling her head with more crap on purpose (so many of those comments? good grief!!). I asked her this morning if she was mad, and she said "kinda" but it wasn't the stomping, moping sort of mad that would come if I had said no to something and then didn't explain it in a way that made sense to her. So, she understood where I was coming from, and that's a good thing. I talked to her about it and I feel good enough now to let her send it, but on safe terms. Members of the hive, you are invaluable to me. :001_wub: Thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted June 9, 2011 Share Posted June 9, 2011 I think your first thought was best.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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