Hoggirl Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 My ds started at a charter school in January. They are having a talent show tomorrow. Parents and siblings are invited (since this is new to us, I don't know if most go or not), but ds does not want me there. He says my presence will make him nervous (even though we are present everywhere else he plays - recitals, church, competitions, etc.). I am sure he is trying to be diplomatic and spare my feelings, 'cause I truly think he just doesn't want me there. I "get" it. I was 13 once, too. But, it still kind of hurts my feelings. Will you feel sorry for me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You poor thing.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You poor thing.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Okay, that just made me LOL. It really isn't that big of a deal, is it? Thanks!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I might go and hide in the back. I'd not tell him until he's a mddile -aged man. ;) If he doesn't know you're there it will not affect him. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I might go and hide in the back. I'd not tell him until he's a mddile -aged man. ;) If he doesn't know you're there it will not affect him. lol Go incognito. After you do that he'll never be embarassed to have you go to anything again. Mainly because he'll be really concerned about what you'll do if you aren't invited next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 $5 says that all the parents will be there, it will be packed with family, and if you don't go he'll be hugely embarrassed and feel terrible. I speak with the voice of experience here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I'd go anyway, given that parents and siblings are invited... I refuse to play the "I'm embarrassed by my parents" game. ;) (I'm not saying that I don't give them space or anything, as I do. It's just that I think that kind of attitude is hurtful and I won't condone it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Yep. This is an age where they want you and don't want you-- exactly at the same time. However. Do not run up to him, kiss him on the lips and tell him how fabulous he is. Do not yell "Wooot Darling!!!!" when he is done. Don't do any of that. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I think that I would go, sit in the back, and try to take pictures/video inobtrusively. Only when he saw the pictures and the scrapbook page talking about how proud of him I was would he realize I had been there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted May 16, 2011 Author Share Posted May 16, 2011 It's not a tiny place, but it's not huge either. Mostly, I think I am sad when these things happen b/c I cannot call my mother and tell her how sorry I am that I was such a jerk/*itch to her at that age. She passed away when I was 24. Ds is not being a jerk. I asked him to tell me his preference, and he did. In a way, I feel like it wouldn't hurt him to be hugely embarrassed and feel terrible if I am one of the few parents not there. Might be more effective if he learned that himself, kwim? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 When I was that age, I told my mom I didn't want her to come to the school awards assembly. She didn't! When I got home, I asked her where she was!!! She was So confused. Basically, I didn't think my friends' parents would come and I didn't want to be the only geek with her mom in the audience. So, I asked her not to show. Then, at the actual assembly, ALL my friends' parents were there and I felt left out!! So, of course, I blamed my mom!!! :lol: I'd go and listen behind closed doors if you have to!!! I bet, deep down, he wants you there.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 Mostly, I think I am sad when these things happen b/c I cannot call my mother and tell her how sorry I am that I was such a jerk/*itch to her at that age. She passed away when I was 24.? :grouphug: I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 I would go and sit with all of the other parents. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted May 16, 2011 Share Posted May 16, 2011 My son is in dance and theater, and he hates being watched during rehearsal. He has asked me not to stay, so I don't. His friend also hates being watched, but her mother goes to every rehearsal. I think it's terrible that she doesn't honor her dd's wishes. Your son will probably find he misses having someone there and asks you to come next time. It's hard, though, I know. We don't want to miss anything! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 Ds is not being a jerk. I asked him to tell me his preference, and he did. In a way, I feel like it wouldn't hurt him to be hugely embarrassed and feel terrible if I am one of the few parents not there. Might be more effective if he learned that himself, kwim? I would go anyway, if my preference was to be there. It's a parent's job to embarass their children. (I was horribly embarassed by my parents when I was a teen. I don't think them listening to my requests or not affected anything.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted May 17, 2011 Author Share Posted May 17, 2011 :grouphug: I'm so sorry. I appreciate it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I would go anyway, if my preference was to be there. It's a parent's job to embarass their children. (I was horribly embarassed by my parents when I was a teen. I don't think them listening to my requests or not affected anything.) :iagree: Just promise you won't do like the movies and give a standing ovation, or blurt out phrases during the performance, or take the video camera up front and follow them at the edge of the stage, or join them backstage to hug and kiss them beforehand. You could suggest all these things, then sitting quietly with a smile on your face won't seem so bad. I'm 44 and my mom can still embarass me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 My son is in dance and theater, and he hates being watched during rehearsal. He has asked me not to stay, so I don't. His friend also hates being watched, but her mother goes to every rehearsal. I think it's terrible that she doesn't honor her dd's wishes. Your son will probably find he misses having someone there and asks you to come next time. It's hard, though, I know. We don't want to miss anything! :grouphug: I think the OP's situation is different though…it's not a rehearsal, it's a presentation to which the parents & siblings have been invited. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 (edited) I think the OP's situation is different though…it's not a rehearsal, it's a presentation to which the parents & siblings have been invited. I got that. I still think his wish should be honored. :001_smile: Edited May 17, 2011 by Mejane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MorganClassicalPrep Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I might go and hide in the back. I'd not tell him until he's a mddile -aged man. ;) If he doesn't know you're there it will not affect him. lol :iagree: and... I'll feel sorry for you. All of us will be there at some point! :grouphug::grouphug: (I fear it's coming entirely too soon for me) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I'd go anyways....possibly just sneaking in the back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted May 17, 2011 Share Posted May 17, 2011 I'd go anyways. But, I'm a horrible parent like that. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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