Potty Training 911

[JessieC]

I really need some wisdom from all of your collective childrearing experience.

 

My son is 3.5 years old and not potty-trained, and I'm at the end of my rope. This week he is wearing underwear because he really wants to--he likes the idea of being big, of saying goodbye to diapers, etc.

 

Problem is, I'm the one doing all the work. He will never, ever tell me has to go. If I ask him if he has to go, he says no. If I make him or bribe him into sitting down every hour, he will go pee. As far as #2, unless I catch him in the act and rush him to the toilet, he will just go in his pants. (This has been the case ever since we started training six months ago! I swear there has been NO progress!)

 

We've tried candy, sticker chart, promise of a superhero cape when he is trained, told him about going to preschool if he is trained. I can't think of what else to do! Will he ever learn?? Help!

[Tohru]

I read somewhere that instead of asking them if they have to go, say:

"Tell me when you have to go potty, okay?"

Then wait for them to say "Okay" back to you.

Ask every 20-30 minutes, or every hour. This worked for our dd. Now she tells me, or goes and then tells me she went.

 

Also, boys do tend to take longer. My ds wasn't using the potty until close to 4yo. We never stressed about it. Sometimes the stress scares them into not wanting to use the toilet.

 

Good Luck!

[fairfarmhand]

I just got over the hump with my ds.

 

Instead of asking, we just went every hour or so. I was trained not him, but it was better than diapers.

 

For poop, we had a hard time with that, cleaning out poopy pants every day for 6 months. He finally got to where he would tell me, but was too scared to go on the toilet. Finally when he said he had to go, I'd put him on the toilet. nothing. So instead of putting drawers back on him, I'd put him in the tub. For whatever reason he would not poop in the tub and finally would yell "mom, I need to poop!" Then I'd plop him on the commode and he'd finally go.

 

Don't know if that helps but believe me , I've been there. I hate potty training!!!!!

[chickadoodle3]

Pray with him and for him to be able to listen to his body. This really helped my late trainer. Let him hear you pray for him and then let him pray also.;)

[mmasmommy]

I really need some wisdom from all of your collective childrearing experience.

 

My son is 3.5 years old and not potty-trained, and I'm at the end of my rope. This week he is wearing underwear because he really wants to--he likes the idea of being big, of saying goodbye to diapers, etc.

 

Problem is, I'm the one doing all the work. He will never, ever tell me has to go. If I ask him if he has to go, he says no. If I make him or bribe him into sitting down every hour, he will go pee. As far as #2, unless I catch him in the act and rush him to the toilet, he will just go in his pants. (This has been the case ever since we started training six months ago! I swear there has been NO progress!)

 

We've tried candy, sticker chart, promise of a superhero cape when he is trained, told him about going to preschool if he is trained. I can't think of what else to do! Will he ever learn?? Help!

 

Sounds to me like he's not ready yet. We tried several times with DS and they all ended badly. He didn't full potty train until after he was 4. DD was potty trained at 2 so it was really difficult to let go of the expectation that DS would be too.

 

:grouphug:

[Mommy22alyns]

He may not be truly ready. I have no experience with boys, but Sylvia was a late trainer. Nothing "worked" for her either until she actually was ready. I know how hard it is. :grouphug:

[kwickimom]

:bigear: My first two trained with no problem and no accidents. Number 3 is...lets just say strong willed...and will not do it. He just turned 3 so I am not super concerned, btu would like to get him out of diapers asap. I cant afford em

[MelissaMom]

I just trained my 6th and did a completely different approach than all my others. Here's my blog post on it....

 

http://halfdozenmama.com/10-reasons-i-heart-the-potty-party-plan/

 

She is completely trained and tells me when she has to go and takes herself. It really works:001_smile:

[Mama Anna]

:grouphug: I've been in a similar situation with dd-now-7.

 

I just keep reminding myself that no child of average physical abilities wears diaper when he or she is 18. In fact, few do when they're 7 or 8 years old. Somewhere in those years it will resolve. Surely!

 

Right?

 

Mama Anna

[Tohru]

:grouphug: I've been in a similar situation with dd-now-7.

 

I just keep reminding myself that no child of average physical abilities wears diaper when he or she is 18. In fact, few do when they're 7 or 8 years old. Somewhere in those years it will resolve. Surely!

 

Right?

 

Mama Anna

 

:grouphug:

We've had two very good friends with sons that were extremely late learners. Both are older now and go during the day, but one of them still has frequent night time accidents (but he's getting better.) One of the boys is in public school and had a really hard time those first few years.

Just want you to know you are not alone.

[JessieC]

Thanks, everybody! It actually does make me feel better to know that he may just not be ready yet. I'm just soooo sick of this being an issue, and feel bad that he can see my frustration and impatience.

 

Do you think the potty party would work for a child who is in no way new to the concept and has been given various rewards and cheers and high fives for the past six months? I feel like the "party" will just be more of the same, but I'm willing to try anything at this point and I like the idea.

[KrissiK]

My dd was 38 months and still in pull-ups. She was very strong willed. She just refused to be trained. Then, she was on my lap one day when I was on the computer and she soaked through her pull-up and my lap was soaked. That was the last straw. The next day she was in panties and a t-shirt only and I just left her alone. It took 3 days and she hated the feeling of that pee running down her legs. She was trained.

[sparrow]

My kids both potty trained at 3 years 8 months. My son still had to have a pull-up at night until just after 5 years. He sleeps deeply. My daughter potty trained and never had a single accident after that.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

We cold-turkey-nothing-on-your-bottom trained. He hated going out in the open and nothing catching it. We had to clean up some messes (and it helped that we didn't leave the house for very long) but after a few weeks there were rarely any accidents. The only downside was that he got used to not wearing anything on his lower half and ran around half naked a lot :D But we don't get a lot of visitors, so it wasn't a big deal.

[redsquirrel]

I had one boy who took off his own diapers at 20 months. My other son wasn't diaper free until almost 4. In both case, our ped said "that is within the realm of typical"

 

My mom, who had four, told me that PT should be easy. She said her one regret was working so hard at pt with her first couple of kids. By the time she had her 4th, she didn't even know when he trained. She just realized she wasn't changing diapers any more. Now, she think she wasted time with stickers and charts.

 

You don't get a medal for having a kid out of diaper by a certain age.

[Starr]

I would just keep taking him. It probably doesn't bother him enough to keep dry. You know you have to stop what you are doing and all. :)

[OrganicAnn]

We put down those plastic table cloths on the floor to protect the carpet. Put the little toy potty in the middle. My DD was not allowed to go off the table clothes (it was a fairly big area, but still she couldn't go into other rooms (esp important since that is what she liked to do for pooping). Every 2 hours if she hadn't wet her pants or peed in the pot recently, she was required to 'try'. We did this for what seemed like the longest week and a half of my life. She would sit on the potty for a few minutes, then get up and pull up her pants and pee in them. Ten days in, she got it. We only did this after doing a very gentle no pressure potty training for 1 year.

 

i found bribes (candy/toys) don't work on kids that young. I would skip all those types of incentives. If they are 5 yo and potty training, then maybe they would work.

[flobee76]

I had to give up on the PLing with our boy. It was SO MUCH work for me and it was just a battle every time. So, I said, "Okay. You're in diapers." (we do cloth diapers here)

 

About a month after I gave up, he said one morning, "mom. I'm gonna wear underpants."

 

He never had an accident since then. Never turned back. He was done.

 

He was also over 3.5 yrs old.

[PiCO]

My oldest trained herself at 3-1/4. My youngest I needed to actively train, because I had her signed up for preschool a few months before she turned 3.

 

The "don't you want to be a big girl like your sister" routing fell flat. I finally realized she liked being the baby, so I changed my tactic. I held her like a baby and said, "don't you want to be my cute little baby who poops and pees in the toilet?" She potty trained right away.

 

You just have to figure out what works for each kid!

[kitten18]

We cold-turkey-nothing-on-your-bottom trained. He hated going out in the open and nothing catching it. We had to clean up some messes (and it helped that we didn't leave the house for very long) but after a few weeks there were rarely any accidents. The only downside was that he got used to not wearing anything on his lower half and ran around half naked a lot :D But we don't get a lot of visitors, so it wasn't a big deal.

Same here. Naked bottom worked for us, I just kept him naked when we were at home and put a diaper on him when we left the house.

 

 

You don't get a medal for having a kid out of diaper by a certain age.

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[enlarsh]

I was having similar trouble with my 3 yo. I had tried everything else and was at my wits end too! A friend told me about a book she read and I can't remember the name of it, and some folks may think it's absolutely horrible, but it worked for us.

 

Plan to stay home for several days. This WILL NOT work while shopping at Target. Remind your child every 30 min to go potty. Set a timer so you don't forget. The strong-willed child WILL have an accident. At that point, the child is to do the correct thing 10 times in a row. That is walk from where they were playing, take pants down, sit on toilet, pull pants up, then go back to play area. Yes, 10 times in a row. By the fourth time, they are mad as anything but you just have to stick with it.

 

We had to do this twice...then POOF! potty training done. Good luck...maybe this will help you.

Edited May 7, 2011 by enlarsh

[Rosie_0801]

Take him to a chiro. If his lower back is out, and it probably is because he uses it, he might not actually feel the "I need to go!" signals. We had a lot of this with my dd.

 

Rosie

[NanceXToo]

Right when it came down to nearly the last minute and I was thinking Oh Dear, my son is going to turn four without being potty trained- he potty trained. It'll happen before you know it, don't worry. Just go with the flow as best as you can for now. :D

[NCJessieRN]

I really need some wisdom from all of your collective childrearing experience.

 

My son is 3.5 years old and not potty-trained, and I'm at the end of my rope. This week he is wearing underwear because he really wants to--he likes the idea of being big, of saying goodbye to diapers, etc.

 

Problem is, I'm the one doing all the work. He will never, ever tell me has to go. If I ask him if he has to go, he says no. If I make him or bribe him into sitting down every hour, he will go pee. As far as #2, unless I catch him in the act and rush him to the toilet, he will just go in his pants. (This has been the case ever since we started training six months ago! I swear there has been

 

You are NOT alone! I'm right there with you. What's even more frustrating for me is my 2 year old is far closer to being trained. I'm :bigear: on this thread!

[Wheres Toto]

My son, who was almost 4 before he potty trained, told my daughter that she was a baby until she turns 4. So now, she refuses to use the potty regularly until she turns 4. :glare:

 

We have tried everything - going naked, going every 30 minutes, the one day method, the 3 day method, bribes, rewards - EVERYTHING. Things would work for a day, or 1/2 a day then kicking, screaming, running the other way, complete refusal. So, we've backed off except for reminders of the BIG PRIZE (a purple unicorn pillow pet) if she starts using the potty all the time. She changes her own pull-ups now (not bm's) - takes it off, throws it in the garbage and gets a new one. I thought the hassle (having to stop playing for longer than going potty would take) might convince her but so far - nope. I think we are going to get to her 4th birthday (July) and she's going to decide she's no longer a baby and use the potty.

 

Both my kids stayed dry all night starting before they were 2 so that won't be an issue at least.