MyLittleWonders Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I'm loving the audio of the Real Child lecture, but I was taken off-guard a word used in it and wanted to contact her ... any ideas? I'm thinking if I send a message through her publisher it might not make it to her, but I'm not sure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TN Mama Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I'm thinking she would definitely get the message if you sent a message to PHP. But curiosity is getting the better of me...seriously scratching my head trying to figure out what in the world you could be referring to. I heard her give this lecture in Cincy and don't recall anything puzzling. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I am always surprised by such posts. I don't know why, but I am. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Peace Hill Press is a small, family owned and operated company, and SWB is part of that family, so it's pretty safe to assume that she will get the message ;) And of course we are now all curious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleWonders Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 You all are making it hard to be diplomatic! :lol: I don't want her to feel uncomfortable by being "outed" on here, but at the same time, I knew asking here would be the easiest way to find the best way to contact her (didn't think about PHP being family owned by her ... I see publishing companies being big things where the author doesn't know what people are saying or asking through them). It just has to do with the "Spread the Word to End the Word" campaign. It was an innocent use of a word that I'm asking if she'd consider stop using. Don't worry ... I love SWB and her lectures and she has revolutionized how I homeschool. I just am hoping to get one little pesky word out of her lectures. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Why don't you just PM her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvasMom Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Ohhhh I get it. I know what word you mean now. For what its worth, the context was correct. She used the word in its literal sense as a verb, not as an adjective. When used as an adjective, it can get awkward. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJCMom Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Is it the "R" word? That's the only one that I can think of that would be correctly used as a verb, and could be offensive as an adjective. I'm just insanely curious. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvasMom Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Just as an aside and I'm *sure* this is just me because I'm nitpicky and easily annoyed BUT...if someone told me to stop using a word...any word...it would make my hackles come out somewhat. Even if they said it nicely. On the other hand, if someone maybe instead just brought to my attention that the use of a certain word in a certain context may be taken wrongly by some then I would be much more receptive to it. Just a thought. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvasMom Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Is it the "R" word? That's the only one that I can think of that would be correctly used as a verb, and could be offensive as an adjective. I'm just insanely curious. :D I believe so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleWonders Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) It is and I tried to explain why I have objections to the word, mentioned "Spread the Word" and explained how the word stays in our vocabulary through all its uses, and thus keeps it in our vocabulary as a negative term as well. It's a sticky situation and I agree that it's hard asking someone to not say something or use a particular word/term, and I'm hoping that what I said would be seen as coming from someone that is just being sincere in asking that the usage of a word be re-evaulated. I am very aware of the use of that word in our every day vocabulary and its impact on people in the special needs community (and this isn't just stemming from having a daughter with special needs ... this goes back to my own childhood and first hand experience either being on the receiving end or being friends with someone on the receiving end). I'm not arguing how she used it, nor I do I think there was any ill intention behind using it. But sometimes certain words are almost unconsciously used and it isn't until someone brings it up that we realize there's a bigger issue at hand. Believe me, I'm not good at confrontation, am learning to stand up (publically) for what I believe in, and just wanted to pass along a friendly and sincere message to SWB regarding the use of the word in, what is otherwise, an amazing lecture, as usual. Oh, and regarding PM ... maybe I didn't do it correctly, but I couldn't find a way to PM her directly (it was my first thought) but only a way to leave a message on her user page. Edited April 14, 2011 by MyLittleWonders Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyLittleWonders Posted April 14, 2011 Author Share Posted April 14, 2011 And, I really, really, really, did not want to cause a kerfuffle, and I'm not doing a good job at what I wanted to do in the first place ... just try to find the easiest/best way to contact her rather than making a huge issue of it on the board. :grouphug: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jumping In Puddles Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) I'm clueless and curious! :D OK< I got now! thanks, carry-on! Edited April 14, 2011 by Jumping In Puddles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AvasMom Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 It is and I tried to explain why I have objections to the word, mentioned "Spread the Word" and explained how the word stays in our vocabulary through all its uses, and thus keeps it in our vocabulary as a negative term as well. It's a sticky situation and I agree that it's hard asking someone to not say something or use a particular word/term, and I'm hoping that what I said would be seen as coming from someone that is just being sincere in asking that the usage of a word be re-evaulated. I am very aware of the use of that word in our every day vocabulary and its impact on people in the special needs community (and this isn't just stemming from having a daughter with special needs ... this goes back to my own childhood and first hand experience either being on the receiving end or being friends with someone on the receiving end). I'm not arguing how she used it, nor I do I think there was any ill intention behind using it. But sometimes certain words are almost unconsciously used and it isn't until someone brings it up that we realize there's a bigger issue at hand. Believe me, I'm not good at confrontation, am learning to stand up (publically) for what I believe in, and just wanted to pass along a friendly and sincere message to SWB regarding the use of the word in, what is otherwise, an amazing lecture, as usual. Oh, and regarding PM ... maybe I didn't do it correctly, but I couldn't find a way to PM her directly (it was my first thought) but only a way to leave a message on her user page. It sounds like you put it in a very non-defensive way. :001_smile: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 And, I really, really, really, did not want to cause a kerfuffle, and I'm not doing a good job at what I wanted to do in the first place ... just try to find the easiest/best way to contact her rather than making a huge issue of it on the board. All you had to do was ask the question that you put in your thread title - you didn't need to say why you wanted to contact her. That just puts another issue out there for people to pounce on, which doesn't seem to be your intent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangearrow Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 (edited) ok. curiosity quenched. Figured it out. Edited April 14, 2011 by orangearrow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I feel like I'm always the last one to "get" these things. What's the word that you guys are talking about?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I feel like I'm always the last one to "get" these things. What's the word that you guys are talking about?! Based on the reference to "r word" and the mentions of people with special needs in another post, I'm gonna guess it's the word "retarded". (edit: or a form of it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Ah. Yeah that makes sense. Personally, the word doesn't bother me (even as the parent of a child who does have some mild to moderate retardation) unless it is used purposely as an insult. To use it as a straightforward description when discussing a condition or as a verb (as apparently is the case here?) never did bother me. But I can see why it might bother other people. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 I felt the same way about the word being used, although she seemed to kind of catch herself when she used it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melinda in VT Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Are you objecting to retarded being used as a verb? :confused: I actually think it hurts the cause to go that far. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michele B Posted April 14, 2011 Share Posted April 14, 2011 Wow. As an English Major and lover of words - wow. Word policing is always a scary prospect. Wow. Please don't ban a perfectly good word because of one negative connotation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 (edited) nm Edited April 15, 2011 by OC Mom Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 unless it is used purposely as an insult. School kids in my area are actually using it as a compliment now... :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 (edited) Are you objecting to retarded being used as a verb? :confused:I actually think it hurts the cause to go that far. Bingo. I can't believe this thread. :confused: (And I just came from spending the evening at a talent show for special needs kiddos - with my dds assisting - at dh's school, so I'm not just insensitive.) Edited April 15, 2011 by angela in ohio Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I can see how it is not really useful as it can be used in a clinical fashion and as a perjorative term. I usually hear it used perjoratively. Developmentally delayed is the term used in Social Security Law in the present day. Older MD's will use the old nomenclature. The delays can be exclusively referring to intellectual ability or comorbid with a physical condition such as trisomy 21. There are a host of physical challenges with many of these conditions.While I do not have any opinion one way or the other ,I can see how this term being utilized in any number of settings as detrimental. On the other hand I do not like censorship. Be warned though, use that word around my friend Molly and I will teach you how to dance the dosey doe, old school. And I do not give a dam* what you meant when using it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I think she will be made aware of this thread. There's probably no need to push it any further. And may I say that SWB has been through enough lately without you "outing" her here, which is exactly what you did, even though you said you didn't intend to? I understand the word usage upset you, and I'm not trying to be harsh, but I am feeling particularly protective of our Queen Bee lately. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 (edited) I can see how it is not really useful as it can be used in a clinical fashion and as a perjorative term. I usually hear it used perjoratively. Developmentally delayed is the term used in Social Security Law in the present day. Older MD's will use the old nomenclature. The delays can be exclusively referring to intellectual ability or comorbid with a physical condition such as trisomy 21. There are a host of physical challenges with many of these conditions.While I do not have any opinion one way or the other ,I can see how this term being utilized in any number of settings as detrimental. On the other hand I do not like censorship. Be warned though, use that word around my friend Molly and I will teach you how to dance the dosey doe, old school. And I do not give a dam* what you meant when using it. http://www.govtrack.us/congress/billtext.xpd?bill=s111-2781 Here is the link as to the Social Security usage. The OP is not off base in terms of finding the language antiquated and confusing. Edited April 15, 2011 by elizabeth link was not from govt site needed to revise accordingly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 I think she will be made aware of this thread. Yes, and hopefully she deletes it. Good grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 Had she used another word that another group found offensive perhaps the OP wouldn't be getting shamed. This term is something that is commonly used, without people realizing how upsetting it can be. The OP gently explained why other may find it hurtful when used in a mocking fashion, which is how it was used in the lecture. She was not being mean, and I personally thank her for mentioning it to SWB. Most of the time when the hurt is explained people feel badly and stop using it. It is not classy to use the word in the manner it was used, and SWB is a classy lady so I imagine she will rephrase the next time she gives the lecture, in order to avoid offending. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mykdsmomy Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 The OP's intention (if I may) was not to cause any hurt or "outing" of SWB. She is a huge supporter of SWB (I know because she is constantly singing her praises ;) ) She isn't trying to ban any word from the English language :glare: She asked a question and is now being lambasted for it. I don't get the mentality here sometimes. If someone does something or says something that is not agreed with, they are often times made to feel like they just punched a puppy. :chillpill: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted April 15, 2011 Share Posted April 15, 2011 http://www.specialolympics.org/rosas-law.aspx Here is a great link with a summary of Rosa's law and what it means to the community being discussed in this thread. No one including the OP was trying to be snarky, underhanded or surreptitious, this is outdated usage that is all. I find it surprising that it is hard to understand why this word can be so hurtful and inaccurate in common parlance. But then again, I am one of those flaming liberals.:lol: I said it so no one else felt compelled to point it out. And yes I am making a joke at my own expense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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