Manners! A way of the past?

[jennilv2003]

I hope this isn't taboo on here.

 

I have been so shocked at how few manners children seem to have these days. I have been working hard to teach my children to have manners and my 2 boys to be "gentlemen". One of the things I have taught them to do is to open the door for ladies. I have observed that many women these days find this degrading. They act as if the "gentleman" feels that they are incapable of opening their own door. It makes me sad to see manners being disregarded.

 

Does anyone else notice a lack in manners? If so, what have your experiences been?

[Retired]

I hope this isn't taboo on here.

 

I have been so shocked at how few manners children seem to have these days. I have been working hard to teach my children to have manners and my 2 boys to be "gentlemen". One of the things I have taught them to do is to open the door for ladies. I have observed that many women these days find this degrading. They act as if the "gentleman" feels that they are incapable of opening their own door. It makes me sad to see manners being disregarded.

 

Does anyone else notice a lack in manners? If so, what have your experiences been?

 

Well its still done here in Alabama. Manners are a very important part of our culture along with yes Mame and yes sir.

 

My sons are raised to pull chairs out for ladies, to help them with their coats, and all the old gentlemen behavior.

 

I can promise you that my 18 yo has older women/girls asking him out because he shows them respect. I have seen these girl just glow when they he help them with their coat and stuff.

 

I know the feminist have pushed the attitude you are talking about but honestly I am a strong independent women. I see a gentleman holding a door for me as a respect not a weakness.

 

Serious here in the south women and men hold doors open for each other. WE are really nice people.:D

 

I know the only thing that that my son doesn't mind the girl asking him out. I have raised him with some old fashion dating rules but he says thats just the way it is now. He has had several girls ask him to the prom. They initiate text (teens don't talk on phone only in person now)

[Joanne]

I hope this isn't taboo on here.

 

I have been so shocked at how few manners children seem to have these days. I have been working hard to teach my children to have manners and my 2 boys to be "gentlemen". One of the things I have taught them to do is to open the door for ladies. I have observed that many women these days find this degrading. They act as if the "gentleman" feels that they are incapable of opening their own door. It makes me sad to see manners being disregarded.

 

Does anyone else notice a lack in manners? If so, what have your experiences been?

 

I have never experienced any woman (or human, since I happen to hold doors for anyone, regardless of gender) who has reacted poorly to the door being held.

 

I do remember, growing up, hearing some noise about it.

 

I teach all 3 of my children common courtesy.

[jennilv2003]

Another manner that is lacking quite often is respecting your elders. Children around here do not know how to respect adults anymore.

[momma aimee]

I hope this isn't taboo on here.

 

I have been so shocked at how few manners children seem to have these days. I have been working hard to teach my children to have manners and my 2 boys to be "gentlemen". One of the things I have taught them to do is to open the door for ladies. I have observed that many women these days find this degrading. They act as if the "gentleman" feels that they are incapable of opening their own door. It makes me sad to see manners being disregarded.

 

Does anyone else notice a lack in manners? If so, what have your experiences been?

 

I am in total agreement. I perserve. the ladies i want my boys to date and eventaully marry will expect doors to be held, and for them to walk by the road and so on .. I do and that is how i raise my boys. my THREE YEAR old opens door for me, i have to wait for him to get them open -- he puts up a STOP hand and says "no momma" till he gets it all open the SMILE. I make a point to thanks them, and the few men here that do that kind of thing, loudly so my boys hear it and feel the praise.

 

I am southeren breed; and I have differnt expectation for my boys than most of the people we interact with on a daily basis arround here.

 

My boys address all adults with a title, the are learning to shake hands and so on ...

 

I am deeply sadden and offeneded by the behavior of a lot of 'children' (kids like mine, and teens) today.

[OH_Homeschooler]

Another manner that is lacking quite often is respecting your elders. Children around here do not know how to respect adults anymore.

 

I would argue there is a big problem with elders respecting other people as well. I've seen some terrible behavior on their part.

[flobee76]

I'll be honest with you: I am pretty disgusted at the way kids are being raised these days. Around here, kids are so self-absorbed it makes me sick. They are rude to their parents, disrespectful to "elders", and have their noses stuck to their phones.

 

In our home, we are teaching old-fashioned values to our children, especially to our little boy. He is being taught at a very young age to be a gentleman and a protector.

[pbt1294]

I can let go of the "southern dress code" in the thread that is running on the forums right now, but I can't let go of the good 'ol southern manners!!! :)

[Joker]

I've never seen a woman act upset by someone holding a door. More often than not my girls are rushing to hold the door open for us and any strangers walking in/out as well. Some men have had a problem allowing them to hold the door open and that bugs me since my dds are just trying to be nice. :glare:

[Mrs Mungo]

An older woman working at Subway the other day was shocked when my eldest called her ma'am.

[momma aimee]

I can let go of the "southern dress code" in the thread that is running on the forums right now, but I can't let go of the good 'ol southern manners!!! :)

 

what thread?

[momma aimee]

I've never seen a woman act upset by someone holding a door. . :glare:

 

last week, my 5 yo son vas going into the pre-school / kindy buiilding for ST; a mom and kindy daught walked up the valk behind us. DS1 -- on his own -- waited for them, holding the door. the mom held her daughter back, told her "Let the door close and open it yourself, never depend on a man for anything"

 

DS1 vas soooooooooooooooooooo hurt and confused when i took his hand and took him on to the SLP room -- leaving them standing ther e-- i'll say it -- like idiots -- waiting for the door to shut before opening it again.

 

I don't guess a lot of people are THAT rude -- but it does happen ....

[Ann@thebeach]

An older woman working at Subway the other day was shocked when my eldest called her ma'am.

 

I just feel so old when someone calls me ma'am! ;)

[momma aimee]

I just feel so old when someone calls me ma'am! ;)

 

I admit that is why i teach mine MISS if they do not have a differnt title -- :lol:

[Ellie]

For me, it's table manners. I am horrified by the lack thereof.:blink:

 

Also, how old are we talking about when you say "boys" opening doors for women? Because if those "boys" are not old enough/strong enough to actually open the door for someone--anyone, including elderly people--then they shouldn't be doing it, IMHO. And no, not all women think it's degrading to have the door opened for them.

[Parrothead]

last week, my 5 yo son vas going into the pre-school / kindy buiilding for ST; a mom and kindy daught walked up the valk behind us. DS1 -- on his own -- waited for them, holding the door. the mom held her daughter back, told her "Let the door close and open it yourself, never depend on a man for anything"

 

DS1 vas soooooooooooooooooooo hurt and confused when i took his hand and took him on to the SLP room -- leaving them standing ther e-- i'll say it -- like idiots -- waiting for the door to shut before opening it again.

 

I don't guess a lot of people are THAT rude -- but it does happen ....

Oh, my word!:001_huh:

[ScoutTN]

Yes, we have noticed the lack of manners in our culture, even here in the South! ;) Common courtesy has become uncommon. Table manners too.

Talking on the phone and/or texting in inappropriate settings is sooooo typical now.

 

I have found that my littles do enjoy manners - DD likes to be ladylike and DS likes to help he and me. I'm sure it will be harder when they are teens.

 

Our current front-burner challenge is always speaking to adults (including ones they don't know) who speak to them. DD gets overwhelmed. We've found practicing a lot at home really helps.

[nono]

Well, on the plus side, I stood opening and closing the door for a bunch of the older kids swim practice last week, because I got caught in the lobby in conversation. I opened the door for over 20 kids, ranging in ages from 9-18. They don't know me as my older is still on the young kids team. Everyone of them said "Thank you." Everyone. I was impressed. :)

[Peela]

I am into simple kindness and consideration all round, rather than manners that look a certain way. Manners can be cultural- I have been told that in some cultures burping after a meal, or leaving some food on your plate, is a sign of good manners and appreciation.

 

I do like the respect your elders type of thinking in one sense- but really, most elders my kids know are not people we or they even want to hang out with. Once upon a time elders were full of the wisdom of the years- nowadays, they are often narrow, judgemental and close minded and unable to relate to youth. Its a shame but I think it does work both ways- elders need to accept and allow youth to be youth, as well.

And when elders- even if its parents- do not respect their children- why should the children respect their elders? Of course, everyone should respect everyone, but it has to start from the top.

 

Times are changing very quickly and I think everything is being re-evaluated for its own merit. I don't think blind obedience to cultural traditions is appropriate anymore.

 

But the values of kindness and consideration are never out of date.

[amydavis]

last week, my 5 yo son vas going into the pre-school / kindy buiilding for ST; a mom and kindy daught walked up the valk behind us. DS1 -- on his own -- waited for them, holding the door. the mom held her daughter back, told her "Let the door close and open it yourself, never depend on a man for anything"

 

DS1 vas soooooooooooooooooooo hurt and confused when i took his hand and took him on to the SLP room -- leaving them standing ther e-- i'll say it -- like idiots -- waiting for the door to shut before opening it again.

 

I don't guess a lot of people are THAT rude -- but it does happen ....

 

:001_huh:

Geez...some people just have no sense. How incredibly rude that mother was. So sorry your ds had to have his feelings hurt when he was trying to show kindness to someone.