I would love your opinion/advice on my daughter

[ayden]

I realize the decision in her father's and mine to make but I would like some WWYD answers here. ;)

 

My daughter is currently 13 years old and in the 8th grade at public school. She's an August baby so she's one of the youngest (if not THE youngest) in her grade. She barely made the cutoff date for kindergarten and we sent her thinking that if she had to repeat the year, it would not be the end of the world. Well, kindergarten and 1st grade were both fantastic. She was easily at the top of her class.

 

2nd grade was when we could tell (behaviorally) that she was younger than everyone else. While still near the top of her class, she was slooooow to complete assignments, often taking hours to finish what others could in a matter of minutes. 3rd grade was much of the same school-wise except now she was falling behind because she really couldn't keep up with the pace...she would shove assignments in her desk instead of bringing them home because she felt there was no way she could get it all done, and it was in that school year that we could see she was emotionally and socially (I hate that word, btw) behind her classmates.

 

Again, 4th grade was the same. She received great grades (in fact, I think that was the last time she brought home straight As) only because I was on top of her every move and met with the teacher weekly so that I didn't have to rely on only my daughter to trust she was getting all her work done.

 

In our district, 5th grade begins middle school. This was a whole different ballgame now, and on top of switching classes and having multiple teachers, the 5th graders did not get lockers, so they had to carry with them the materials needed for the first half of the day, then switch them out in their homeroom class at lunch for the remainder of the day. This was a nightmare for my child. This is the year she began bringing home poor grades, like Cs and Ds. 6th grade was better--she matured a lot--and 7th grade (which is jr. high) was okay, too.

 

Well, 8th grade has been difficult for her. She has been getting a D in pre-algebra all year long and currently has an F. She is taking a pre-AP English class (the pre-AP was a big mistake on our part) and she's getting a C in that class. A C in science, Spanish, etc. And her Cs are pretty low.

 

My daughter is a competitive gymnast. She works out a lot. Her dad & I have decided that we cannot let her go to high school next year and do competitive gymnastics, so we are going to home school. My plan was to have her repeat pre-algebra this summer and continue on with 9th grade in the fall.

 

Because she's so young, I briefly thought about just repeating her entire 8th grade year. She is very against this, though, and I don't want to discourage her when she is already down about school. That's when I came up with the plan I mentioned. However, I spoke with her math teacher on the phone today and her math teacher actually suggested repeating her 8th grade year as long as we were going to home school. (I had marketed it to my daughter as more of a "finish high school over 5 years" type plan but she didn't fall for it. And really, I'd have to officially enroll her as an 8th grader because our state requires standardized testing in grades 3-9.)

 

I don't want my child to barely get through school. I would like to her to want to go to college and while her goal is to compete gymnastics in college, I can't see that happening for her because her grades are so poor. In this situation, would you hold her back a year? Thanks for reading.

[Brindee]

I wouldn't let "because she's so young" be an excuse for either her or you (not that it is, just sayin'...). There are kids who are still 13 and in 9th grade (and even one I know of that started college full-time at 13.... but that's an extreme!) that are doing fine. Is she getting the low grades because she's not putting forth the effort? Or is she getting low grades because she's not understanding the material? That would make a difference in how I'd approach the situation.

 

You may have to use gymnastics as an incentive. Personally, if my dd was getting low grades, I would cut back on the gymnastics time until her grades improved. Also, as much as I try to allow my kids to help in the decisions, if she's just not understanding the material, then I'd say she NEEDS to back up, or redo the material that she's not understanding. We always called them levels, not grades. She may do level 7 or 8 in English, but level 9 in History, etc. It shouldn't matter what level of work you're doing, as long as it's a level that you're understanding and learning and moving forward with!

 

Example: My 17yo ds struggled with grammar. When he was in 7th we found Rod & Staff. He tried Level 6 but it didn't work, so we got level 5. Ah-ha! The light finally went on. He grasped it, learned from it, and progressed very well after that! When he was in 8th grade he did Level 6, and in 9th he did Level 7.

Edited February 23, 2011 by Brindee

[ayden]

Thanks for your response, Brindee. I do agree with you on not using her age as an excuse. Honestly, I never really thought it was a huge issue until her math teacher brought it up to me this morning. From what I know, public schools discourage holding back students beyond kindy/1st grade for age reasons. I was surprised that she brought it up and I only brought it up so that you guys would know the whole story.

 

I think my daughter is having a hard time grasping the material. She works HARD. She comes home from the gym just before 8pm, scarfs down some dinner, and does homework from then until 10 or 11 every night. She has a gym teammate and classmate on the same schedule, but her friend hardly has homework because she understands it the first time and can even complete most of it in school during their seminar/study hall hour.

[Anne]

I wouldn't let "because she's so young" be an excuse for either her or you (not that it is, just sayin'...). There are kids who are still 13 and in 9th grade (and even one I know of that started college full-time at 13.... but that's an extreme!) that are doing fine. Is she getting the low grades because she's not putting forth the effort? Or is she getting low grades because she's not understanding the material? That would make a difference in how I'd approach the situation.

 

You may have to use gymnastics as an incentive. Personally, if my dd was getting low grades, I would cut back on the gymnastics time until her grades improved. Also, as much as I try to allow my kids to help in the decisions, if she's just not understanding the material, then I'd say she NEEDS to back up, or redo the material that she's not understanding. We always called them levels, not grades. She may do level 7 or 8 in English, but level 9 in History, etc. It shouldn't matter what level of work you're doing, as long as it's a level that you're understanding and learning and moving forward with!

 

 

 

This. :iagree:

 

Anne

[Carol in Cal.]

I'd hold her back, no question about it.

 

If she were struggling with Algebra 1, I would be on the fence.

 

But since she is having trouble with and probably should repeat or heavily review pre-algebra, and since she is arguably a 7th grader in age, I would give her the gift of an extra year in 8th grade. You will have plenty to do to broaden her content areas, and in her skills areas you will have an extra year of progress and maturity in place before high school.

 

This will probably enable her to get her grades back up again, too, which will help her in getting into college.

[Teachin'Mine]

Absolutely I'd have her do 8th grade next year. She may be annoyed at the beginning, but she'll thank you in the end. Part of her resistance is probably her imagining what the other girls in gymnastics will say. She doesn't even have to tell them, but I'm sure it would be hard not to. She'll feel great though when she starts getting good grades and actually understands math. You can soften the blow by letting her take a class in something that she'd really like to learn - maybe something that you can't take in public high school until the junior or senior year. Not something that's above her ability, but something that sounds cool. Then she can honestly say that she's in a variety of grades if anyone asks.

 

Wouldn't it actually be a positive for her regarding her gymnastics? It would give her an extra year to compete before college.

[Brindee]

I'd hold her back, no question about it.

 

If she were struggling with Algebra 1, I would be on the fence.

 

But since she is having trouble with and probably should repeat or heavily review pre-algebra, and since she is arguably a 7th grader in age, I would give her the gift of an extra year in 8th grade. You will have plenty to do to broaden her content areas, and in her skills areas you will have an extra year of progress and maturity in place before high school.

 

This will probably enable her to get her grades back up again, too, which will help her in getting into college.

:iagree: and I like the way the bolded part is put! Though she may not "get it" now, I think later she'll realize that it was for the best since she's struggling! It's NOT because she's stupid or not smart enough!!! It's to cement the facts in her head so she can do better in high school and college!

 

And hey, if working on what she's struggling with produces the results of her understanding her material, she may decided to shoot ahead later, when she's strengthened her base knowledge so she can grasp the curriculem better!

 

What good will it do her to be a 9th grader if she doesn't understand the concepts? Maybe you can this as an unnamed grade. If she works really hard and catches on to the point of being at a 9th grade level, then you may allow her that. Otherwise I agree with "holding her back" (though I don't like that terminology!).

[mjbucks1]

The most important thing is that she is learning. In math, sometimes it really is maturity/brain development that needs to be at a certain level for a child to understand a concept. You may even want your dd to look at it this way.....she would also be the youngest when competing for a gymnastics scholarship. Maybe another year of gymnastics would also be beneficial :D. Honestly, if my child's grades were that low, I would repeat the work, because she is not masterting the material. I have a feeling she will thank you in the long run!! Blessings.

[EKS]

Frankly, instead of continuing to blame her relative youth, I would be looking into getting an evaluation for learning disabilities and/or ADHD.

[LBS]

I'd look at ADD. So many people (ps teachers?) have the hyper little boys sterotyped as ADD/ADHD, and those quiet, dreamy little girls who are quite smart, but don't grade well.....well, that can be ADD.

 

I'm also thinking maybe the whole "hold her back" thing is the problem. So, maybe you plan two years at home, so she goes back in the 10th grade, after having two years "to get on top of algebra, etc., while continuing gymnastics full time". While homeschooling she'll have more time to continue her gymnastics, and taking away what she likes and is good at, and is hugely good for her health and discipline, seems like an empty punishment, somehow. Also, when she goes back in 10th, she'll still be a year behind her current friends, but they all will have matured enough to handle it, not so much when she goes back to school as a 9th grader, and her buds are all in 10th. LOTS of heirarchy, even in high school. So, maybe she ends up just staying out the one year. Its a plan not a promise. A lot of kids don't go up a grade in the youngest grades and the oldest, but in between, say 2/3 to 8/9, well, you're calling it "hold back", which is not a good way of saying it, IMHO, but the kids will all call it what it is to them: flunking out, failing out, whatever. She may perceive it this way. I have a long, well developed rant about how we are growing kids up too fast....under the guise of other reasons/excuses, it still is pushing them too much. They need time to breathe, absorb....blame the math, or whatever, but repeat some material that is neccessary, in a more creative way, and go for enrichment stuff, creative stuff, for credit or not. "Highschool prep, with Olympic Sport developement" Yeah, I like that.

 

Good luck,

 

LBS

[2cents]

The whole grade thing is something I've played very loosely in our homeschool. For county requirements and paperwork I keep them at 'grade level' but when it comes to curriculum choices I go by what they are ready for. Mine are in middle school but I have them doing college level for some of their work and grade level for some. Holding back grades is not something you see a lot of in homeschooling.

 

If I were in your position, I would not change her grade level. Instead, I would focus on the areas that will get her up to speed. Spend the summer working with good curriculum and you will be surprised at how the combination of being at home, working at her mastery rate and review will work wonders. My son spent his last 'school' year at a Montessori school with probably the worst teacher in the world and the net result was pretty much no progress in math. We began homeschooling. I spent the summer going through the grade again for less than an hour a day and the next year he tested two grades ahead. :)

[ayden]

You all have been helpful, thank you.

 

Yes, besides the school thing, an extra year of gymnastics would be very beneficial to her. She is already "old" for her level...blame that on her parents who wouldn't let her join the team before she was 10 years old...I didn't want her under that kind of pressure at such a young age, and couple that with the fact that she broke both her left foot and right ankle within 3 weeks of each other last year and missed her entire season...simply put, yes, an extra year of gymnastics before college would be great.

 

Truth be told, we are not going to cut back on the gymnastics unless she wants to, for the reason LBS mentioned. It is the one thing she has that makes her feel really confident.

 

Now that I've been researching home schooling, I certainly see the benefit of not assigning my child to a particular grade each year, and I certainly wouldn't put emphasis on the fact that she is repeating 8th grade (if that's what we do), but I will have to declare her a certain grade to the state when we turn in our intent to home school.

 

Frankly, instead of continuing to blame her relative youth, I would be looking into getting an evaluation for learning disabilities and/or ADHD.

We have actually done that. It was a very long process. We started through the public school system which was a joke. I don't really want to get into it all, but we ended up pursuing this privately. We went through a few child psychologists for different reasons. One said she tested very low--borderline retardation--on the IQ test, but was baffled because she scored average to above average on some other test he gave her. One of them said she had anxiety disorder and recommended counseling, which she did. Another said she had an auditory processing disability and recommended speech therapy (I can't remember the reason for that) so we did that along with counseling, until the speech therapist said my daughter was no longer benefiting from therapy. She is no longer in counseling because the counselor said my daughter was "fine" and to come back if she wanted.

 

We started all this when she was in 2nd grade when she first began "falling behind" at the recommendation of her teacher and school counselor. They thought ADD/ADHD at the time.

 

ETA: When I say she is "old" for her gymnastics level, I meant by grade, not by age. Her gym would like college-bound athletes to be level 10 by 10th grade. At her current rate, she will be level 10 by 12th grade, although she is trying to skip a level so that will happen by 11th grade for her, assuming she started 9th grade in the fall.

Edited February 23, 2011 by ayden

[Carol in Cal.]

Where this might become very important is when you're applying for college. Any glitch in the high school record is blazingly obvious then. That's why I think you have one chance to fix this, and you should. It's going to be much easier to do two years of 8th grade than two years of a high school grade.

 

Also, are you looking into math curricula? My DD did better with Saxon than the public school (Harcourt CA) texts--so much so that I think she might well have flunked math repeatedly in elementary school but did just fine with it in Saxon. Now at 14 she is taking honors geometry and honors algebra 1 at her brick and mortar Catholic high school, and doing just fine. I give Saxon much of the credit, as she hates math but Saxon really cemented it for her.

[ayden]

Where this might become very important is when you're applying for college. Any glitch in the high school record is blazingly obvious then. That's why I think you have one chance to fix this, and you should. It's going to be much easier to do two years of 8th grade than two years of a high school grade.

 

Also, are you looking into math curricula? My DD did better with Saxon than the public school (Harcourt CA) texts--so much so that I think she might well have flunked math repeatedly in elementary school but did just fine with it in Saxon. Now at 14 she is taking honors geometry and honors algebra 1 at her brick and mortar Catholic high school, and doing just fine. I give Saxon much of the credit, as she hates math but Saxon really cemented it for her.

I did realize that when I was perusing some "high school spread out over 5 years" threads here in this forum. In that sense, two years of 8th grade would be better.

 

She did Saxon math in elementary school and middle school. It wasn't great, but I am not totally faulting Saxon for that. I am looking into MUS and TT for her.

[at the beach]

It sounds like you are doing a great job trying to meet your daughter's needs. I have a child with learning differences. Calling her a fifth grader again this year has been a very good decision. She has a summer birthday, too. She simply did not fit in with kids that were at her original grade level. When she started Kindergarten, the teacher way back then suggested I not send her and keep her home an extra year. I didn't want to do that, and I know now I should have. She came home after first grade and has been home since. Homeschooling has been good for her. This past school year, I finally decided that I wasn't going to call her a sixth grader because, frankly, it just didn't fit. She is developmentally immature in many ways, including academically. We are so glad that she's got that extra year now.

 

From what you posted about your daughter's grades, she's really not doing that poorly in school. One poor grade in math and the rest are average. There's no shame in a C, right? BUT I agree that giving her time to solidify those subjects and meet her needs by homeschooling is a great option. I, personally, would just give her the summer off to relax and deschool. Also, so many homeschool materials can be used by a variety of ages, so it isn't like it has to be blatantly obvious that you are holding her back a grade.

 

ETA: I do agree with Carol's last post regarding this is the time to fix her grade. Also, we use TT with my 5th grader and it has been a very good choice for her this year. Although, some people feel there's not enough review in it. My 14 yo did very well with Rod and Staff Math before getting to Algebra.

 

Best wishes! :001_smile:

Edited February 23, 2011 by Violet

[kiana]

The other possibility is to plan this year so it could serve as either 8th or 9th grade, which gives you the year to make the decision. You should be able to say (later) 'whoops, that was 8th'

[EKS]

We have actually done that. It was a very long process. We started through the public school system which was a joke. I don't really want to get into it all, but we ended up pursuing this privately. We went through a few child psychologists for different reasons. One said she tested very low--borderline retardation--on the IQ test, but was baffled because she scored average to above average on some other test he gave her. One of them said she had anxiety disorder and recommended counseling, which she did. Another said she had an auditory processing disability and recommended speech therapy (I can't remember the reason for that) so we did that along with counseling, until the speech therapist said my daughter was no longer benefiting from therapy. She is no longer in counseling because the counselor said my daughter was "fine" and to come back if she wanted.

 

We started all this when she was in 2nd grade when she first began "falling behind" at the recommendation of her teacher and school counselor. They thought ADD/ADHD at the time.

 

 

 

Given what you've said about her history, combined with her erratic performance on psychometric testing, I really would give the LD idea a second look. If she does have LDs, including sensory processing and executive function issues, giving her an extra year won't address the problem *unless* you are using that extra year to address the LDs. Kids with LDs don't grow out of them, though they can learn to compensate some over time. She might seem to be doing better because she will be being compared to kids in a lower grade, but the problems will remain and if not addressed will likely come to a head again in the future.

[FloridaLisa]

Whether she has LDs or not, I think you've provided enough reasons to give her another 8th grade year. It's natural for her to balk at it. She may feel like she has failed. I think the way you approach it will make all the difference. FWIW, three of my dc have summer birthdays and I redshirted all 3 of them. It was the best decision we ever made for so many reasons. There are reasons beyond academics for having your dc spend their 18th year at home rather than away at college (in our experience).

 

Also, since it will be your first year homeschooling, it will give you a full year to find what works, and get a schedule and rhythm to your day before high school. High school hits hard and fast and the workload and expectations can really increase. Even if she didn't have a summer birthday, you would want to shore up foundational skills -- including organization and study skills -- before moving into higher academics.

 

Welcome to the boards and to homeschooling! I pray it's a blessing to you both. :001_smile:

 

Lisa

[ayden]

Thank you all, again. EKS, I will call the last psychologist she saw and set up another appointment and start pushing this again.

 

All of you have been very helpful and kind...I'm glad I found this website.

[Susan C.]

I'm glad you caught it at 8th grade, our ds was in 11th before we caught the same thing. We were working on Algebra 2, and he just stopped. He was always a good student, but clawed for everything. Every subject took hours to do. I asked him if he was ready to go to college in a year and he said no. So he agreed to stay on another year for high school. Since he was always homeschooled, I just backed up all of his grades. So that 11th grade became 10th, and so on. He was agreeable to the idea though, and still is glad we did it.

 

Maybe you can ask your daughter how she feels about things. Maybe suggesting that another year to do 8th grade would give her more time for gymnastics. Older students in a grade are generally quicker at their studies, they get concepts quicker because they have another year of maturity (and brain development) to work with. My ds took adolescent psych. in college, he said our brains are not done making connections until our mid 20s!! That is what you are up against taking certain subjects too soon.

 

I don't think it is good to always assume a student isn't trying when they don't get good grades. But D and F in math is definitely a red flag. The year math stopped for us, I called the publisher of the Algebra 2 book we were using. The first thing the author asked was how old he was, when she found out how young he was, she suggested considering at minimum repeating the math the next year.

 

HTH!

[KnitWit]

Okay, I did this with my eldest. She is a pianist. She was struggling with math and just *young* and yet in other ways she was very mature for her age. She has an August birthday. I don't even remember what year now, but somewhere along the way, I just called her the same grade for a second year in a row...however, we kept moving forward.

 

On the back end (high school), she *could* have graduated a year early (or technically, *on time* if I hadn't done that), because before she hit high school, math *clicked* and she caught up. However, I decided to stick with the earlier gut feeling and neither of us have regretted it. Doing what I did took the pressure off and allowed her extra time to focus on her music.

 

I moved her into a college dorm 4 days after she turned 19, instead of 4 days after she turned 18. I would do it all again. Great decision. :)

[Michelle My Bell]

n/m

Edited February 24, 2011 by Michelle My Bell

[elegantlion]

The other possibility is to plan this year so it could serve as either 8th or 9th grade, which gives you the year to make the decision. You should be able to say (later) 'whoops, that was 8th'

 

This is what we are doing with my ds. He is 13 with a September birthday. In our case we were considering letting him skip a grade, calling this year 8th grade instead of 7th.

 

Because of life situations we've had a chaotic school year. So we've opted to not make a decision about it this year and instead wait until the end of NEXT year. I'll plan the year so it would fulfill high school needs or 8th grade needs.

 

We'll call next year 8th and if we decide to skip then we'll change it to 9th.

 

I guess my point is that you don't necessarily have to make the decision now. You can move forward as planned as adjust if necessary. (Brindee has been most helpful in talking me off the ledge about this several times this year:D).

[Kareni]

One more thought to consider. If your daughter hopes to continue with gymnastics in college, a stronger high school record will work more to her favor than a weaker one. Redoing 8th grade would enable her to enter ninth grade as a stronger not a struggling student.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[plansrme]

As you are making your decision, keep in mind the NCAA eight-semester requirement. In a nutshell, once a child starts high school, she has eight semesters either to (1) complete their* core course requirement or (2) complete their core course requirement and graduate. I am not sure whether it is 1 or 2 and am planning to fax them a letter asking for clarification. Any time over the eight semesters during which a child completes 1 or 2, whichever it is, counts against their years of eligibility. After the 8 semesters, however, athletes now have a one-year grace period during which they can compete in their sport without its being counted against their years of eligibility. In other words, so as long as she finishes 1 or 2 within 8 semesters, she can still stay home and compete in her sport for an extra year post-high school. There is, as always, more to this story, and there may be an exception for a diagnosed LD, so please do your own research to confirm.

 

I have asked the NCAA how you know when a child starts high school, and they say something like "they are in high school when their school says they are." Sooo, for NCAA purposes, you have much more flexibility if, for now, you call this next year eighth grade. You can always retroactively make it ninth grade if necessary, but I would be careful about what you call her on anything official--outsourced classes, standardized tests, etc. Regardless of what you call her at home, I would put her down as an 8th grader on anything official.

 

*By "their," I mean the NCAA's core course requirement, not your daughter's, as I would never use the plural their to refer to the singular "her."

 

 

Terri

Edited February 24, 2011 by plansrme
add the asterisked explanation

[Yolanda in Mass]

Given what you've said about her history, combined with her erratic performance on psychometric testing, I really would give the LD idea a second look. If she does have LDs, including sensory processing and executive function issues, giving her an extra year won't address the problem *unless* you are using that extra year to address the LDs. Kids with LDs don't grow out of them, though they can learn to compensate some over time. She might seem to be doing better because she will be being compared to kids in a lower grade, but the problems will remain and if not addressed will likely come to a head again in the future.

:iagree:I know how maddeningly frustrating conflicting results from psychologists/psychiatrists can be, but with the continuing problems dd is having, you might want to give the LD idea a much closer look. Yes, some kids definitely mature later, and, yes, we don't want to be slaves to grades, but we must not ignore other more serious learning issues our children may have. They do not go away, they only get worse as the work load increases in amount and complexity.

[nicurn]

This is what I did with my oldest son last year. He is an October baby. Like you, we started him early. The cut off date in NC used to be Oct.16, which is my son's birthday, so he just did squeak in by the skin of his teeth. He went to public school for kindy and I pulled him home in 1st. He did fine for the first few of years, then started struggling. We could also tell that the maturity level was not there. Well, we kept plugging along and he got behind in his school work. So, last year as a 7th grader we ended just telling him that he was staying in 7th grade until the 7th grade work was completed to my satisfaction (which is A or B standard). This year as an 8th grader it is the same. We didn't necessarily end up repeating anything, other than logic which he is doing this year. We also made some changes in his curriculum. Basically what it is boiling down to is that it is taking him 3 years to complete 7th and 8th grade. He will start 9th grade next year on time as a 14 year old and graduate at 18 instead of 17.

As far as school for him, this has probably been the best decision I have ever made. I just wish I had done it sooner. I can tell that he has matured considerably over the last year or so and is much more cacable of handling the work load of his classes and his grades show it. He says that he wants to go to college, so he has a college prep curriculum. I decided, because of his age-he was so young- that I had a year to play with. Also, that if I was going to have to hold him back that I would much rather do it while he was in middle school where it would not affect him than in high school where it would.

[ayden]

As you are making your decision, keep in mind the NCAA eight-semester requirement.

I didn't even think about the NCAA! :banghead: Thank you for pointing that out.

 

This is what I did with my oldest son last year. He is an October baby. Like you, we started him early. The cut off date in NC used to be Oct.16, which is my son's birthday, so he just did squeak in by the skin of his teeth. He went to public school for kindy and I pulled him home in 1st. He did fine for the first few of years, then started struggling. We could also tell that the maturity level was not there. Well, we kept plugging along and he got behind in his school work. So, last year as a 7th grader we ended just telling him that he was staying in 7th grade until the 7th grade work was completed to my satisfaction (which is A or B standard). This year as an 8th grader it is the same. We didn't necessarily end up repeating anything, other than logic which he is doing this year. We also made some changes in his curriculum. Basically what it is boiling down to is that it is taking him 3 years to complete 7th and 8th grade. He will start 9th grade next year on time as a 14 year old and graduate at 18 instead of 17.

As far as school for him, this has probably been the best decision I have ever made. I just wish I had done it sooner. I can tell that he has matured considerably over the last year or so and is much more cacable of handling the work load of his classes and his grades show it. He says that he wants to go to college, so he has a college prep curriculum. I decided, because of his age-he was so young- that I had a year to play with. Also, that if I was going to have to hold him back that I would much rather do it while he was in middle school where it would not affect him than in high school where it would.

Sounds very much like my situation, I appreciate you sharing how it worked out for your son.

[Tiramisu]

Thank you all, again. EKS, I will call the last psychologist she saw and set up another appointment and start pushing this again.

 

All of you have been very helpful and kind...I'm glad I found this website.

 

So much of what you wrote about your dd is familiar to me. I did IQ testing with a psychologist and it helped to understand some of what is going on. It was a start. However, if I could afford it and was able to find a good one, I would have an evaluation done by a neuropsychologist because I think they look at more. The more you know, the more you can help her.

 

I started homeschooling dd when she was about 12, right before she would have started middle school in our district. I knew the switching of classes and different teachers with different expectations would not be good for her. After removing her from the stress of the school environment, she blossomed to an unexpected degree.

 

If this helps, dd always says she has more friends and better friends than she ever had in school.