MariannNOVA Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 (edited) UPDATE -- 1:00 pm wednesday (i had to ask the LPN who just walked in IF it was really wednesday): this is just so difficult emotionally for me (always thinking of myself, I know :rolleyes:) -- my mom is having such a hard time realizing that for a certain amount of time she is not going to be independent and she will not be able to be running here and there and that realization combined with all the meds they are giving her is really gobsmacking her - she just had a major anxiety attack which I don't think in all of her 77 years she ever let herself had -- she would always just push down her emotions -- she is calm now, considering a rehab facility (I spoke with the OT about it and it was definitely his recommendation) -- but, gosh, it breaks my heart when she starts crying --she is such a strong person that I know she is just crushed if she is crying. I can't even call my kids and talk to them b/c I will cry if I try to talk - gosh, I am such a WUSS! I've read through quickly and again. thank you all for your wonderfully kind thoughts and prayers. I arrived here minutes before 4pm and my mom had just gone into surgery at 3 -- and we weren't able to see her till about 8:30 in recovery -- Thankfully, she did well, she is back in her room now and she is sleeping.......drifting in and out......but she is comfortable. I will stay here all night, and my sister thinks that they will discharge her in the a.m. I think my sister is incorrect. Mom is still on oxygen b/c her breathing is so shallow (which I do understand after surgery) -- but honestly, I cannot imagine they are going to street her in the morning. My guess is that she will be here till Thursday. It is snowing like crazy here (I am in Vineland, NJ) -- most of the schools have already announced they will be closed tomorrow. It wasn't doing anything in Va when I left at 1pm, but it is snowing there now and it was sleeting prior to that so the roads are not in great shape. Again, thank you for your prayer and kind thoughts -- I am waiting for the cafeteria to open at 11pm -- I am so hungry -- I had a PB&J sandwich at noon and only a bottle of water in addition to that. :svengo: I just have to add that I am finding it difficult to see my mom in a hospital bed and so out of it. It is so upsetting. I am glad I am alone here tonight b/c I really have to come to terms with this. Edited January 12, 2011 by MariannNOVA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I'm so glad you got there safe and sound and that the surgery went well. I'm glad you're able to be there with her all night. I think just know God will be there with you and give you comfort. I've been praying for you since I read your post yesterday and continue to lift you all up. God bless you hon. :grouphug: I hope your mom makes a speedy full recovery. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathleen in VA Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug:Mariann:grouphug: Praying for you dear one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 HI Mariann, I'm sorry you're having a hard time but so glad Mom is doing well. Anesthesia takes a while for some people. You can only hope they keep her another day. Day surgery is tough. I hope you find something besides jello and pudding in the fridge to eat. :D Prayers for both of you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I'm so glad you got there safe and sound and that the surgery went well. I'm glad you're able to be there with her all night. I think just know God will be there with you and give you comfort. I've been praying for you since I read your post yesterday and continue to lift you all up. God bless you hon. :grouphug: I hope your mom makes a speedy full recovery. :) :grouphug:Mariann:grouphug: Praying for you dear one. HI Mariann, I'm sorry you're having a hard time but so glad Mom is doing well. Anesthesia takes a while for some people. You can only hope they keep her another day. Day surgery is tough. I hope you find something besides jello and pudding in the fridge to eat. :D Prayers for both of you. :grouphug: You are all so kind -- thank you so much for the encouragement.:grouphug: I love watching it snow and I am getting alot of enjoyment out of that. Thanks again!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug:All the best to your mum.:grouphug: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merry Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 and that she will get the best care possible while in the hospital and afterwards. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug:All the best to your mum.:grouphug: Rosie and that she will get the best care possible while in the hospital and afterwards. Thank you and thank you!:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2myboys Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers for your mom and you too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I hope you've found some food by now. I'll pray for you and your mom. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeckyFL Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Praying for you and for your mom. So glad you came here to tell us what's happening so that we have the honor to do so. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: and prayers for your mom and you too. Thank you. :) I hope you've found some food by now. I'll pray for you and your mom. :grouphug: I'm heading to the cafeteria at 11:30 or right after Letterman does the top 10 list.:) Thanks for your prayers.:) Praying for you and for your mom. So glad you came here to tell us what's happening so that we have the honor to do so. :grouphug::grouphug: That is so sweet - thank you so very much.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug:Prayers:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug: I haven't read the whole thread, but praying for you and your mom :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug:Prayers:grouphug: :grouphug: I haven't read the whole thread, but praying for you and your mom :grouphug: Thank you and thank you! We had a good night -- we didn't sleep alot (my mom dozed and faded in and out) but I was able to rest as much as I could. I'm fine this morning -- my mom is in alot of pain and not handling it well -- my sister, my mom and my dd31 do not handle pain well. DD30 and I have very high pain thresholds. I am not sure mom will be discharged today -- actually, I am beginning to think tomorrow or Friday -- :w00t: -- which is good for my mom, b/c my sister's house will be a zoo (did I really say that?) and it is quiet, calm, and she is being cared for here. I DO think a Rehab facility would be a good idea, but my suggestions carry NO weight. I may have to start another thread about that.:glare: Your prayers are so appreciated -- thank you.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Geeze, Mariann, I'm within an hour of where you are. If you need anything, PM me and I'll see what I can do. I'm really good at sneaking liquor and such into places like hospitals ;) Wow, that's something I've never written down before. Ha, skills not to put on your resume. Yeah, that would be one... :grouphug:..from a sandbar southeast of your current location. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sleepymommy Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I'm so glad she is doing well, my prayers continue for you and your family. Sometimes when we are so busy taking care of others we neglect ourselves, so make sure you make time to eat, rest and clear your mind at some point today.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 I am so sorry your mother is in pain! I will pray for her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: I have not posted before this, but I have been thinking of you! Dear Mariann, there is surely a crown in heaven for you, for what you've faced with your loved ones this year and the way you've responded with a caring, serving heart.... :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Geeze, Mariann, I'm within an hour of where you are. If you need anything, PM me and I'll see what I can do. I'm really good at sneaking liquor and such into places like hospitals ;) Wow, that's something I've never written down before. Ha, skills not to put on your resume. Yeah, that would be one... :grouphug:..from a sandbar southeast of your current location. :cheers2: -- Thank you SO much!!!!! That is so sweet -- this is just so difficult emotionally for me (always thinking of myself, I know :rolleyes:) -- my mom is having such a hard time realizing that for a certain amount of time she is not going to be independent and she will not be able to be running here and there and that realization combined with all the meds they are giving her is really gobsmacking her - she just had a major anxiety attack which I don't think in all of her 77 years she ever let herself had -- she would always just push down her emotions -- she is calm now, considering a rehab facility (I spoke with the OT about it and it was definitely his recommendation) -- but, gosh, it breaks my heart when she starts crying --she is such a strong person that I know she is just crushed if she is crying. I can't even call my kids and talk to them b/c I will cry if I try to talk - gosh, I am such a WUSS! Anyway -- thank you, thank you, thank you -- and I intend to respond to everyone, but right now I have to try to get to the cafeteria and get something for lunch.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 You are sooooooooo NOT a wuss..... :glare:!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 You are sooooooooo NOT a wuss..... :glare:!!!! :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::crying: We are making progress though -- my mom has decided on a rehab facility that her orthopod highly highly recommends and she will be there at least two weeks. I have peace with this decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:it's very difficult, Mariann. I don't know what else to say, other than I'm sorry life has been SO tough lately.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Thank you for the updates. Your mom and entire family are in our family's prayers. :grouphug::grouphug: Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Your Mom may be secretly worried that, once she has agreed to a rehab facility, she will never live on her own again. Perhaps have others reaffirm that this is only temporary. I have worked with seniors before and have discovered that this often is one of their worst fears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Your Mom may be secretly worried that, once she has agreed to a rehab facility, she will never live on her own again. Perhaps have others reaffirm that this is only temporary. I have worked with seniors before and have discovered that this often is one of their worst fears. Liz -- Thank you -- that is so helpful to me. I will talk with her about it tomorrow -- thanks again.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Always late but adding my prayers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 Always late but adding my prayers. Always appreciative of your prayers -- and trust me, we still SO need them. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I think she'll be happy once she's at the rehab. It will really help her gain her independence more quickly. It is a shock for all of you but remember all those good drugs she's on is contributing to her emotions. Have you checked with the nurses on the family plan for those drugs? :D Praying for all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I think she'll be happy once she's at the rehab. It will really help her gain her independence more quickly. It is a shock for all of you but remember all those good drugs she's on is contributing to her emotions. Have you checked with the nurses on the family plan for those drugs? :D Praying for all of you. See, that's what I think.:iagree: My sister, the M.D., is freaking out, and I've been trying to tell her to :chillpill:. She has succeeded in upsetting mom - which really upset me. My mom's doctor is changing her pain med tonight and I am hoping that the emotional side effects won't be as intense. I also think she will be relieved once she is at rehab -- this has not been pleasant for her -- she is in alot of pain, it is going to change her life for the next couple of months -- in rehab she can focus on herself and not be concerned with whether or not the laundry is getting done at my sister's house :glare: or if my niece is ready for the school bus.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCoffeeChick Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I don't know how I missed this thread for the past two days, but you and your family are in my prayers. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I don't know how I missed this thread for the past two days, but you and your family are in my prayers. :grouphug: :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Thank you so much --it is so comforting to come here and read that we are being lifted up in prayer and we are in folks' good thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I get it now - Sis is loosing the nanny for a while along with everything else. So sorry for all the complications! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Merry Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Rehab does sound like the right place for your mother, I think. Especially if she can get visitors on a regular basis to keep her from missing her home too much. She will get very good care there and lots of rest that way. And maybe your sister is in sort of a denial mode where her mother is concerned? It must be hard on her too to see her mother in the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Just warn your Mom that most Rehab facilities are serving very divergent populations. My Mom (who's in her 80s) had a stroke 3 years ago. She was really shocked at some of the folks in the live-in facility she went to after being discharged from the hospital. As Liz CA noted, my Mom became scared she wasn't leaving after seeing some folks who'd obviously been there for a very long time. My Mom's stroke was fairly severe, but she's very strong physically, and even tougher mentally, so both my sister and I stressed to my Mom that if she put the work in, she'd be out of there. She did, and she got out quickly. (My Dad died within 2 months though, so she ended up in a Nursing Home anyways. But at this point, you'd never know she had the stroke, and if it weren't for her dementia, she could be living on her own). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 14, 2011 Share Posted January 14, 2011 I haven't been online much in the past few days, but I have been praying for your mom. Please make sure your mom knows that she can say no when she's in rehab. A lot of facilities are excellent, but sometimes you can get a PT who wants to be a hero, and pushes the patients too hard, too quickly. If she gets one of those, and she is being pressured to do more that she's ready for, she can refuse to do the exercises and ask to speak with her doctor or the PT in charge. I hope she will be at a great place and get wonderful treatment, but be sure to keep a very close eye on things, just in case. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 15, 2011 Author Share Posted January 15, 2011 I get it now - Sis is loosing the nanny for a while along with everything else. So sorry for all the complications! Oh boy, did you hit that nail right on the head!!!!!!! :iagree: My eyes have been so OPENED :w00t: after three days in NJ and watching sis in action. It is like watching the 'Sis Channel' -------ALL SIS, ALL THE TIME! Rehab does sound like the right place for your mother, I think. Especially if she can get visitors on a regular basis to keep her from missing her home too much. She will get very good care there and lots of rest that way. And maybe your sister is in sort of a denial mode where her mother is concerned? It must be hard on her too to see her mother in the hospital. You are very kind to give sis the benefit of the doubt, but unfortunately, it is hard on my sister to see my mother in the hospital b/c of course it is upsetting, but beyond that, it means that my sister has to figure out who will be her 'wife' b/c essentially that is what my mother is to her. My sister puts in 12-18 hours days -- most of that time out of the house. My mom puts my sister's 9 y/o dd on the school bus, is at home when she gets off the bus, my mom does ALL the laundry (sis, her dh, their daughter and my two nieces when they come home from college), she cooks all the meals, makes the 9 year olds lunch every day for school, drives her to all her after school activities, and cleans the house -- a large house. This has been going on for 19 years since my dad died and my mom moved in with them. My sister and her dh take at least three vacations a year (never less than two weeks at a time) and go off to Hawaii or wherever and my mom stays home with their 9 y/o and does everything. I am thrilled that my mom is in rehab (she was transported there today). She is not thrilled about it, but I told her that no one is - no one wants to have an injury that lands them in rehab. She will do the therapy and get used to it - imo, she has no choice. She sounded good when I talked to her earlier. And, you are right, the visitor thing will help and my dd31 and her dh are making sure she gets visitors. Just warn your Mom that most Rehab facilities are serving very divergent populations. My Mom (who's in her 80s) had a stroke 3 years ago. She was really shocked at some of the folks in the live-in facility she went to after being discharged from the hospital. As Liz CA noted, my Mom became scared she wasn't leaving after seeing some folks who'd obviously been there for a very long time. My Mom's stroke was fairly severe, but she's very strong physically, and even tougher mentally, so both my sister and I stressed to my Mom that if she put the work in, she'd be out of there. She did, and she got out quickly. (My Dad died within 2 months though, so she ended up in a Nursing Home anyways. But at this point, you'd never know she had the stroke, and if it weren't for her dementia, she could be living on her own). Oh, :grouphug:, that must be so hard on you and your mom.:grouphug: My mom went to the facility this afternoon from the hospital and I spoke with her earlier -- she sounded good -- she will have therapy every day except Sunday and my dd31 and her dh (Stacey and Mario) went to visit, got a wheelchair, and took mom on a tour of the place. My mom has an appt made for a manicure tomorrow, an appt to get her hair washed and blown dry, and there is a coffee get together so stacey and mario showed her where that would be. There is alot of stuff going on so I am praying she enjoys herself. I feel so much better about her being there than going home and being alone all day (at my sister's). I did tell her she could come here after rehab for a few weeks if she wanted - we are on one level and I am home all day. I haven't been online much in the past few days, but I have been praying for your mom. Please make sure your mom knows that she can say no when she's in rehab. A lot of facilities are excellent, but sometimes you can get a PT who wants to be a hero, and pushes the patients too hard, too quickly. If she gets one of those, and she is being pressured to do more that she's ready for, she can refuse to do the exercises and ask to speak with her doctor or the PT in charge. I hope she will be at a great place and get wonderful treatment, but be sure to keep a very close eye on things, just in case. Cat Thank you for this very very good advice -- I will tell her this in the morning when we speak. Thanks!!!!!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 15, 2011 Share Posted January 15, 2011 I did tell her she could come here after rehab for a few weeks if she wanted - we are on one level and I am home all day. This sounds like a great idea to me. Does your mom ever get a vacation? I will keep praying for her, and for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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