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dh apologized to ds

Denisemomof4
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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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and told him that H. was welcome here at the holidays. He said it was uncomfortable for his family but that it had to have been uncomfortable for her, too, and he wanted ds to realize that he understood that. He told ds she was welcome to come here for Christmas, but I have a feeling it will be too soon for her. And that's ok.

 

Ds then came out (they talked alone) and had coffee with me and we caught up before he went to work.

 

He said goodbye to everyone and commented on how his evening was going to be awkward with H's dad. :001_huh: I'm glad they're both comfortable with her mom, but they don't like her mom's girlfriend (she's mean to ds), ds likes her dad, but the step family (stepmom and kids) make things really uncomfortable for them. I hope to make our atmosphere more comfortable for them but I'm just going to go about my business without making a fuss.

 

I told dh that I want to get some new, fun games for when they do make an appearance, and that they don't have to play with us, or even be in the room with us, but that hopefully they'll enjoy seeing/hearing the activity. It will take the focus off of things, ya know?

 

I learned so much about shy people yesterday and I'm so thankful for everyone's help.

 

Time to finish up baking and present wrapping! Ds15 asked what was the plan for today. I said to finish cleaning up, wash the floors, then RELAX and have a yummy dinner. Instead of being sad at whom we're missing today, I'm thankful we can have a peaceful, relaxing holiday. Not that I won't miss my parents every step of the way.

 

Again, thank you, friends!!!:grouphug:

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Tap

Tap

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Saying 'sorry' can be hard to do, kudos to your hubby for saying it and ds for accepting the apology. I am glad you and your dh were able to clear the air, and did so so soon after the event.

 

Sorry for your sadness today, I hope you find some peace and can enjoy the day.

 

 

~Merry Christmas, Tap

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Scarlett

Scarlett

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Very impressed by your dh apologizing. It was the right thing to do.

 

Now as a side note.....this girl will either accept the apology and your ds's parents willingness to start fresh....or she won't. If she doesn't I have a strong feeling it will not set well with your ds. In other words....let her hang herself with your ds all on her own. (or maybe she is just shy and things will work out)

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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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:hurray:I'm so glad the air has been cleared. And with all your information about comfort levels at her parents' places, you can work to make your house the place they both (eventually) wish to be.

 

this is *exactly* what I plan to do.

 

While he's at the dad's house tonight we're going to send a text saying "Merry Christmas. Please give H. a hug from us. We love you!!!"

:001_smile:

 

Dh and I *always* apologize when we have done something wrong. I just didn't realize what the situation really was until I learned more about the shy person who has already been through this. I can't express enough how helpful that was. Still, I do wish we could take back what he said but it's over and we have to move on.

 

Leading up to the holidays was torture this year, but now that the day has arrived, it's like I can just enjoy it. It will never be the same but my good friend told me what will make it more enjoyable is to come up with new traditions. This is how she returned to joy around the holiday season after losing her husband to cancer. So all of us are discussing this to help with next year.

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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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Very impressed by your dh apologizing. It was the right thing to do.

 

Now as a side note.....this girl will either accept the apology and your ds's parents willingness to start fresh....or she won't. If she doesn't I have a strong feeling it will not set well with your ds. In other words....let her hang herself with your ds all on her own. (or maybe she is just shy and things will work out)

 

thanks, Scarlett. I've already thought of this. I'm going to be talking to ds to let him know that I just didn't understand gf and her shyness and let him know that I've been reading up on that (shyness). Hopefully both of them will appreciate that I've taken the time to do that. Either way, I'm trying in a non-threatening way. I never knew that what I was doing could have made her feel uncomfortable. Ds will see how I'm trying and what she says is between them.

 

Aside from that, if she does come over, both of them will see that we're not going to gawk or include them unless they want to be included. If she chooses NOT to come over, there's nothing I can do. If this one thing turned her away, something else would have had this not happened. I do believe ds will want to spend some time here, though. Time will tell.

 

Taking time off between Thanksgiving and New year wasn't a good idea this year. I had too much time to think, even though I was busy. I should have continued on with our studies.:glare:

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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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:D Your dh is such an excellent teacher for your sons. What a graceful thing to do.

 

Merry Christmas Dennis. I hope you forgive my toes on keys (internet for foot in mouth) problems yesterday. Take care :)

 

I won't forgive you if you keep calling me Dennis. ;):lol: Don't worry - I am the QUEEN of toes on keys. Notice I said Queen. Do you know why? I'm DENISE and not DENNIS.:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

Merry Christmas to you!!!

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myfunnybunch

myfunnybunch

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I just didn't realize what the situation really was until I learned more about the shy person who has already been through this. I can't express enough how helpful that was. Still, I do wish we could take back what he said but it's over and we have to move on.

 

If nothing had been said, you might not know what you now know. Instead of possible years of misunderstanding and discomfort, it's been a bumpy and uncomfortable shortcut to understanding this young woman (and any future shy young women or men who may become a part of your lives).

 

Cat

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Jean in Newcastle

Jean in Newcastle

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:D Your dh is such an excellent teacher for your sons. What a graceful thing to do.

 

Merry Christmas Dennis. I hope you forgive my toes on keys (internet for foot in mouth) problems yesterday. Take care :)

 

Oh no, Dennis! Julie has outed you! She promised not to tell anyone that you were a middleaged man who is just pretending to be Denisemomof4!:D

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lionfamily1999

lionfamily1999

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I won't forgive you if you keep calling me Dennis. ;):lol: Don't worry - I am the QUEEN of toes on keys. Notice I said Queen. Do you know why? I'm DENISE and not DENNIS.:lol::lol::lol::lol:

 

Merry Christmas to you!!!

Geezo Pete. I KNOW that.

 

Toes on the keyboard again, I really need to stop reclining while I type, Denise.

 

lol

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