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Dealing With HS Group Mothers

kalphs

By kalphs,
in General Education Discussion Board

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kalphs

kalphs

Posted
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Our family belonged to a local hsing group for four years which met at our church.

However because of biting/bickering/backstabbing amongst the members aka mothers we decided to leave the group.

Unfortunately we are not able to get away from them completely, because they "use" our churches Wednesday night children's ministry for their babysitter so they can have "me time."

These women are totally self absorbed individuals with the "entitlement/world revolves around me mentality."

I dread seeing these women in our church halls and having to speak with them because they are completely self centered and have a snooty attitude. Think of Veruca Salt from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" as an adult to gain a clearer picture.

So in light of what I have just typed how would you deal with these women if you were approached by them?

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dcjlkplus3

dcjlkplus3

Posted
Posted
Our family belonged to a local hsing group.

However because of biting/bickering/backstabbing amongst the members aka mothers we decided to leave the group.

Unfortunately we are not able to get away from them completely, because they "use" our churches Wednesday night children's ministry for their babysitter so they can have "me time."

These women are totally self absorbed individuals with the "entitlement/world revolves around me mentality."

I dread seeing these women in our church halls and having to speak with them because they are completely self centered and have a snotty attitude.

So in light of what I have just typed how would you deal with these women if you were approached by them?

 

Unless they come up and initiate a conversation (in which case I would be civil and superficial) I wouldn't have anything to do with them. If it is a case where the moms are all there the whole time, I'd bring a book or papers to check, or something else to occupy myself with that probably needs doing anyway and can send off a "busy" vibe. Good luck!

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kalphs

kalphs

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Other homeschool mothers are the scariest part of homeschooling sometimes.:grouphug:

:iagree:

This wasn't a big issue when we lived in the university city, because the hs community was so large.

However the geographical area we live in now is saturated with Veruca Salt wannabees.

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2cents

2cents

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Having been in a group comprised of those types of personalities at one time (new hser) I tend to avoid them now. But there are still times I run into them. I just act politely and friendly because there is no reason to act otherwise. I just don't let myself get talked into any of their projects which would put me in their company for long periods of time. No drama, just nice and polite and move along. :)

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Haiku

Haiku

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So in light of what I have just typed how would you deal with these women if you were approached by them?

 

"Hello there! *big smile* I'm sorry, but I can't stop to chat right now because I am on my way to [fill in the blank]. Have a great evening!"

 

Tara

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Samiam

Samiam

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Hmm, I always have to wonder, where/how there could be a "group" of women who all act exactly the same? I mean, yes, I get one or two acting like that, but a whole contigency of them? Perhaps taken on their own instead of being lumped into a group, they are each individuals and actually nice woman? Just a thought that pops into my head.

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KarenNC

KarenNC

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Hmm, I always have to wonder, where/how there could be a "group" of women who all act exactly the same? I mean, yes, I get one or two acting like that, but a whole contigency of them? Perhaps taken on their own instead of being lumped into a group, they are each individuals and actually nice woman? Just a thought that pops into my head.

 

It's quite possible that some of them are actually nice one on one. It's the herd mentality---remember jr. high?

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kalanamak

kalanamak

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Hmm, I always have to wonder, where/how there could be a "group" of women who all act exactly the same? I mean, yes, I get one or two acting like that, but a whole contigency of them? Perhaps taken on their own instead of being lumped into a group, they are each individuals and actually nice woman? Just a thought that pops into my head.

 

People who are nice to me one on one and get nasty in front of their friends are just scum to me. I'd take a jerk 100% of the time any day. I hate the opposite, too: I gave up trying to be friends with my ex when it became predictable he was sooooo sweeeeeet to me in front of his friends, and was sarcastic when we were alone.

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Britomart

Britomart

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Can't improve on any of the responses you've gotten. These kind of people make me feel sorry for their children. How will they turn out with such narcissim at the helm?

 

Don't give up hope! Some of them look long and hard at their parents and decide to become the exact opposite of them.

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Miss Sherry

Miss Sherry

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Hmm, I always have to wonder, where/how there could be a "group" of women who all act exactly the same? I mean, yes, I get one or two acting like that, but a whole contigency of them? Perhaps taken on their own instead of being lumped into a group, they are each individuals and actually nice woman? Just a thought that pops into my head.

I wonder this too. Is the entire group being judged based on a few dominant personalities ?

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Miss Sherry

Miss Sherry

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As God would want me to: polite but with boundaries.

When reading this I see a person with a smile but holding up their hand like a "stop" signal. Kind of like "I"m polite but stop where you are so I can verify what you are like first". :lol: Being polite but while holding out a ten foot pole. :lol:

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Sophia

Sophia

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These women are totally self absorbed individuals with the "entitlement/world revolves around me mentality."

 

 

I know it takes all kinds, but having homeschooled since 1998, in two different states, I have to say I have never seen a large group of homeschooling women like this.

In fact, homeschool moms are usually among my favorite people~regardless of differences in theology, politics, teaching styles, etc.

What a shame.

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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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Other homeschool mothers are the scariest part of homeschooling sometimes.:grouphug:

 

:eek::eek::eek: how sad is that? It really is true.

 

I have a wonderful group now but have had to put up with some really bad ones in the past. I'm just too old to be around bad people now. I won't do it.

 

I agree with Jean. Be polite but have boundaries.

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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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Can't improve on any of the responses you've gotten. These kind of people make me feel sorry for their children. How will they turn out with such narcissim at the helm?

 

I know a mom like this but she is SO bad that she's been kicked out of a church we attended, and she was asked to leave the homeschool group I attend. We had our girls in synchronized swim together and when she left last year, the entire group of moms had something to say about her and how glad thet are that she, and her dd, are gone. They are NOT a gossipping group of moms, either! I've known them for years! We all had to get a little of the toxins out of our system, and it's heavenly now that this mom and her dd are gone.

 

The dd is turning out to be just like her mom. She was spoken to MANY times by our homeschool group leader. The oldest dd is going to have a lot of problems later in life and will need a lot of therapy if she wants to change. It's so sad to see how her mother has ruined her. Neither the mom or daughter can hang onto friends.

 

The mom is the MEANEST person I've ever met in my life. Her husband is a gem. I don't know how he puts up with her!

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Miss Sherry

Miss Sherry

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I know it takes all kinds, but having homeschooled since 1998, in two different states, I have to say I have never seen a large group of homeschooling women like this.

In fact, homeschool moms are usually among my favorite people~regardless of differences in theology, politics, teaching styles, etc.

What a shame.

:iagree: I haven't seen an entire group of women like this either. What I have seen is a few dominant women in each group.

I think it's best not to judge an entire group based on the attitudes and actions of a few. :glare:

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kalphs

kalphs

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:iagree: I haven't seen an entire group of women like this either. What I have seen is a few dominant women in each group.

I think it's best not to judge an entire group based on the attitudes and actions of a few. :glare:

I had heard stories from former members of this group about the mothers and their behavior.

However I passed it off as "gossip" until I witnessed/experienced it first hand.

Sad to say the stories I heard are true.

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Ibbygirl

Ibbygirl

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Der. :lol:

 

You talk about books! Or your medieval re-enactment hobby. Or the seaweed you're cooking for dinner. Avoid small talk and you should be fine :D

 

Rosie

 

:lol: or invite them to view your bug collection complete with hissing cockroaches from Madagascar! hehe

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FaithManor

FaithManor

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You know how to clear a room? Talk about two things...your child's dried animal droppings collection and the mountain oysters you are cooking for supper. THEY WILL STAY AWAY FROM YOU!

 

I have not dealt with this type of mom but I used to, for a brief time, get together with five other homeschool moms until I became the butt of all kinds of nasty comments because they are do the bare minimum and just hope their kids are employable in the future, and we are classical homeschoolers. Their children teased my kids unmercifully about being smart and it didn't take but a few meetings to decide to "blow that popsicle stand". All five mothers were like that. Too much group think I guess.

 

Faith

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Rosie_0801

Rosie_0801

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You know how to clear a room? Talk about two things...your child's dried animal droppings collection and the mountain oysters you are cooking for supper. THEY WILL STAY AWAY FROM YOU!

 

 

:smilielol5:

 

(Tears and all. You mean I'm not the only one who does this on purpose? :lol:)

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kalanamak

kalanamak

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Haven't read any replies, but when I am approached by women that I have no desire to have any sort of relationship with, I smile big, say "hi", and keep moving. If they stop me, I talk fast and leave faster. It seems to work.

 

You can, in a pinch, mention you are coming down with something, and where is the bathroom?

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texasmama

texasmama

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You can, in a pinch, mention you are coming down with something, and where is the bathroom?

 

So true.:D

 

I also like to babble on about weird stuff like how my husband helped me color my hair last Saturday and we just thought it was so much fun and the seven year old watched the whole time cuz he is the funniest little kid like that, etc. (Real story here.) If you become someone they don't want to interact with, they go away. The husband of this particular woman is bothering him endlessly to go to lunch. He feels the same about it. I told him to always be "so busy, so busy"...surely it will let up. What has life come to? :D

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