I need advice. I'm at the end of my rope with hockey

[unsinkable]

I am really stressed out about this and I need some advice.

 

Remember when my DS12's hockey organization said that he didn't make the team at his age group?

 

This was from my post in late October:

 

The organization which promises no tryouts, every kid plays, we develop the player...signed up 42 Peewee level hockey players but only has room for 30 boys on 2 teams. They are trying to put DS-12 on a squirt-level (9 and 10 y.o.) house team. They are telling us it is a positive thing.

 

We signed up for Peewee hockey and tough luck for them if they overregistered the program....They had months to tell the truth about the numbers and we would have left the organization. We wouldn't have taken a chance that he'd not play at his level. Now it is too late to go anywhere else.

 

So they better FIX. IT.

 

They refused to budge. Not only did they not put him on a PeeWee team (I'm going to abbreviate this from now on as PW), he was uninvited to play in the squirt-level house team.

 

So, we went to another organization (house level) and they took him on the team after seeing him practice for 20 minutes. We were very lucky to find this team because it was a month into the season. So you don't misunderstand, this is not a talented, high performing team and DS is an average player. The team has yet to win a game and the coaching is minimal.

 

He is still practicing on his original organization and he did get asked to play in 1 game b/c they were short players. In the email, they wrote about 3 times that it was a 1-time call-up.

 

There are a few reasons why we didn't just leave the original organization.

 

-- we had paid $900.

 

-- original organization has the some of the best coaches for teaching hockey that we've ever dealt with in the past 10 years.

 

-- under hockey rules, what we did was allowed. We weren't breaking any national hockey rules.

 

-- we didn't know they had an organizational rule that stated you can't play for another organization. (You can however, play for a school team and their organization.)

 

Well, last night the head of the original organization called us and told us he got a report that DS was playing for another organization and according to their rules, he couldn't play for both. We had to pick one organiztion or the other. We would get no money back.

 

My DH and I think that DS would go nowhere with the original organization after all this. BUT DH wants to just walk away and not try to get our money back. I totally disagree. I think what they did was wrong. We signed up for PW hockey and they took our money for it. Then to say there is no room for him. Is that fraud? Breach of contract? Unethical?

 

I am so sick about all this. I can't believe they are doing this. They get all kinds of good press for being so special and different and for the kids but for my child it is not true. They wouldn't even put DS on a team! They even won a big national award. I feel like it is all a scam and a lie.

 

When I asked the head of the original organization who had told him about DS playing for the other organization, he wouldn't tell me. He said the hockey world is so small, that it didn't matter. That's one of the reasons that DH just wants to quietly walk away, so our family doesn't get labeled as trouble makers. They are so well-thought of and they can spin it anyway they want and it'll spread so fast.

 

DS just wants to play hockey. He wanted to play for this organization until this happened. Did I say this makes me sick?

 

So what do you think? Walk away quietly? Fight for our money and for the fact they didn't let DS play at his level because there were too many kids?

[Wheres Toto]

If you signed up for PW hockey with the original organization, then they informed you that they overbooked and there was no room for your ds to play on the teams you registered for - why didn't your money get refunded right then? THEY overbooked and could not place your son on the team you registered for. That was their mistake and they should have refunded your money back right away.

 

$900 is a lot of money. I would work on getting it back especially since this is due to their overbooking not you just changing your mind about him playing.

[Catwoman]

If you signed up for PW hockey with the original organization, then they informed you that they overbooked and there was no room for your ds to play on the teams you registered for - why didn't your money get refunded right then? THEY overbooked and could not place your son on the team you registered for. That was their mistake and they should have refunded your money back right away.

 

$900 is a lot of money. I would work on getting it back especially since this is due to their overbooking not you just changing your mind about him playing.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

They pulled a fast one on your son, and now they don't want to refund the money. I assume that you don't pay your $900 for the right to have your child try out for a team, but that the money is paid under the assumption that your child will be on a team. No one would be stupid enough to hand over that much money on the possible, off-chance that their kid might, maybe, possibly get to be on a team. Did you sign anything that said that you had to pay even if your son wasn't invited to be on a team?

 

I would FIGHT. (One quick letter from an attorney would probably be enough to get that refund check in the mail to you.)

 

Cat

[plansrme]

That's one of the reasons that DH just wants to quietly walk away, so our family doesn't get labeled as trouble makers. They are so well-thought of and they can spin it anyway they want and it'll spread so fast.

 

I'm going to guess that 95% of the responses you get will say "fight for your money." But your husband has a point about this. I don't know how the hockey world works, but I can tell you that in gymnastics, you would get labeled as trouble-makers, and it would come back to bite you and your son one day. Maybe it's worth it, maybe it's not. But I would make darned sure that you do not EVER want to go back into this organization or another one in your town before you make a stink about it. It is not fair; it is not right. But in many sports, this is the way it is.

 

If your son is or becomes a star, you might get another chance, but otherwise, threatening to sue or trying to hard to get your money back will have ramifications long after you've cashed that check. I don't care how many times they tell you they do not take parental conflicts out on the child, they are lying.

 

Terri

[Kirch]

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

They pulled a fast one on your son, and now they don't want to refund the money. I assume that you don't pay your $900 for the right to have your child try out for a team, but that the money is paid under the assumption that your child will be on a team. No one would be stupid enough to hand over that much money on the possible, off-chance that their kid might, maybe, possibly get to be on a team. Did you sign anything that said that you had to pay even if your son wasn't invited to be on a team?

 

I would FIGHT. (One quick letter from an attorney would probably be enough to get that refund check in the mail to you.)

 

Cat

 

:iagree: ITA. Either a lawyer or contact one of the local news stations and share the story with their watchdog/consumer advocacy reporters. Bad press (or the threat of it) can work wonders. I guess that doesn't fall into your dh's idea of not making waves. But $900 is a LOT of money to lose without some waves.

[unsinkable]

If you signed up for PW hockey with the original organization, then they informed you that they overbooked and there was no room for your ds to play on the teams you registered for - why didn't your money get refunded right then? THEY overbooked and could not place your son on the team you registered for. That was their mistake and they should have refunded your money back right away.

 

$900 is a lot of money. I would work on getting it back especially since this is due to their overbooking not you just changing your mind about him playing.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

They pulled a fast one on your son, and now they don't want to refund the money. I assume that you don't pay your $900 for the right to have your child try out for a team, but that the money is paid under the assumption that your child will be on a team. No one would be stupid enough to hand over that much money on the possible, off-chance that their kid might, maybe, possibly get to be on a team. Did you sign anything that said that you had to pay even if your son wasn't invited to be on a team?

 

I would FIGHT. (One quick letter from an attorney would probably be enough to get that refund check in the mail to you.)

 

Cat

 

I agree with both of you!! Their point is that he can play his way onto a team by working hard in practice. But that would involve players on the team losing their spots, too. KWIM?

 

They also said that he should have played for their squirt house league but that since we didn't want that, they were taking away that opportunity? :confused:

 

It is like an upside down world with them.

 

ETA: The org. doesn't think they overbooked. They think they are giving everyone a chance to play hockey (this is what they say.) They think that DS12 should have played in the house league with 9 and 10 year olds and try to work his way onto a PW team.

Edited December 6, 2010 by unsinkable

[Catwoman]

I think they're just looking for an excuse to keep your money.

 

And I think your dh is being silly about this. Too many parents roll over and play dead, just to avoid a confrontation, and that makes these organizations think they can get away with anything.

 

They're not gods, they're just a bunch of idiots who are trying to steal your money.

 

Cat

[Barry Goldwater]

If you signed up for PW hockey with the original organization, then they informed you that they overbooked and there was no room for your ds to play on the teams you registered for - why didn't your money get refunded right then? THEY overbooked and could not place your son on the team you registered for. That was their mistake and they should have refunded your money back right away.

 

$900 is a lot of money. I would work on getting it back especially since this is due to their overbooking not you just changing your mind about him playing.

 

I agree with this...it's an outrage, and I would DEMAND a full refund, threaten them with small claims court, AND threaten that you're going to take out a full page ad in the largest newspaper in town explaining exactly how they stole your money.

 

Sometimes getting a reputation for being a trouble-maker can turn into getting a reputation for being someone NOT to sc4%^! around with!

[laundrycrisis]

I would tell them to refund every penny...or you will be reporting them to the BBB, the chamber of commerce, the local news media, whatever national organizations they are part of, ALL local parenting groups and associations, and hiring a lawyer to prevent them from defrauding any other families. Even if you spend $1000 to get the $900 back it would be worth it.

[Catwoman]

Sometimes getting a reputation for being a trouble-maker can turn into getting a reputation for being someone NOT to sc4%^! around with!

 

:iagree:

 

Besides, they've already made it clear that you and your ds don't matter to them, so I doubt that letting them keep the money is going to do a thing to help your ds get on a team next year. Personally, I'd rather be the troublemaker than the cowardly pushover. (Do you really think the people who run the hockey organization wouldn't fight for a refund if the shoe was on the other foot?)

 

And I doubt that most parents would blame you for fighting for $900. It's not exactly small change, and if you were misled about the team situation, I'm sure you're not the first person it has happened to.

 

Cat

[FriedClams]

He is still practicing on his original organization and he did get asked to play in 1 game b/c they were short players. In the email, they wrote about 3 times that it was a 1-time call-up.

 

 

-----

 

-- we didn't know they had an organizational rule that stated you can't play for another organization. (You can however, play for a school team and their organization.)

 

If you were unhappy with the situation I think you should have left when it happened and asked for a refund then. IMHO that would have been completely reasonable. You signed up, they changed the rules, you decide to leave - not a big deal. Had it been done then, they should have promptly refunded your money and you could have parted ways.

 

Now, you are into the season and your son is practicing with the team. He has played in at least one game. He is getting the benefit of being on the team - despite the fact that it may not be the specific team or the playing time you think he deserves or what you expected when you signed him up. I would guess you sort of knew it was going to happen when you started shopping for a different team. I think asking for a refund at this point is unreasonable due to the coaching, training, ice time, etc. that he has received. Prorated - maybe. But a lot of costs of youth sports are paid up front and you can't get 60% back on rental fees, insurance, uniforms, etc. If your Dh wants to go discuss it with them - that's great and I would support him. But, I wouldn't be shocked when you get nothing from them.

 

The rules thing stinks - but sometimes the rules of youth sports are set up for a reason. If it's a rule in the league - then you have to stick with it and pick a team. If you think your son won't grow on Team 1 (which it looks like since he wasn't put on an age-appropriate team earlier and they aren't doing much for him now) then let him finish the year on Team 2. Embrace it. Be encouraging of him. Don't let him see the drama of the adult world if it's possible. Kids sometimes just like to play - and they don't really care where for for whom. The just like the sport. Let him enjoy it. You sound like a great, devoted mom and I know it means a lot to your son to look up and see you there cheering him on at games - regardless of the color of his team shirt.

[unsinkable]

If you were unhappy with the situation I think you should have left when it happened and asked for a refund then. IMHO that would have been completely reasonable. You signed up, they changed the rules, you decide to leave - not a big deal. Had it been done then, they should have promptly refunded your money and you could have parted ways.

 

Now, you are into the season and your son is practicing with the team. He has played in at least one game. He is getting the benefit of being on the team - despite the fact that it may not be the specific team or the playing time you think he deserves or what you expected when you signed him up. I would guess you sort of knew it was going to happen when you started shopping for a different team. I think asking for a refund at this point is unreasonable due to the coaching, training, ice time, etc. that he has received. Prorated - maybe. But a lot of costs of youth sports are paid up front and you can't get 60% back on rental fees, insurance, uniforms, etc. If your Dh wants to go discuss it with them - that's great and I would support him. But, I wouldn't be shocked when you get nothing from them.

 

The rules thing stinks - but sometimes the rules of youth sports are set up for a reason. If it's a rule in the league - then you have to stick with it and pick a team. If you think your son won't grow on Team 1 (which it looks like since he wasn't put on an age-appropriate team earlier and they aren't doing much for him now) then let him finish the year on Team 2. Embrace it. Be encouraging of him. Don't let him see the drama of the adult world if it's possible. Kids sometimes just like to play - and they don't really care where for for whom. The just like the sport. Let him enjoy it. You sound like a great, devoted mom and I know it means a lot to your son to look up and see you there cheering him on at games - regardless of the color of his team shirt.

 

The point is he is NOT on a team with the original organization and they didn't tell us until a month into the season that he wouldn't be on a team. He's only practiced with the organization. If we didn't look for another organization, then he wouldn't have been playing in any games at all.

 

And I wouldn't expect a full refund -- maybe 2/3 or 5/8 or 1/2.

 

I appreciate the advice!

Edited December 6, 2010 by unsinkable

[unsinkable]

I'm going to guess that 95% of the responses you get will say "fight for your money." But your husband has a point about this. I don't know how the hockey world works, but I can tell you that in gymnastics, you would get labeled as trouble-makers, and it would come back to bite you and your son one day. Maybe it's worth it, maybe it's not. But I would make darned sure that you do not EVER want to go back into this organization or another one in your town before you make a stink about it. It is not fair; it is not right. But in many sports, this is the way it is.

 

If your son is or becomes a star, you might get another chance, but otherwise, threatening to sue or trying to hard to get your money back will have ramifications long after you've cashed that check. I don't care how many times they tell you they do not take parental conflicts out on the child, they are lying.

 

Terri

 

I'd bet the politics in hockey and gymnastics are similar.

 

This is so difficult for me. I am actually afraid of repercussions (in terms of gossip and black-balling, etc) if we don't stay with the original organization.

[Tammyla]

The whole situation has been so unfair to your ds.:grouphug:

 

I'd bet the politics in hockey and gymnastics are similar.

 

This is so difficult for me. I am actually afraid of repercussions (in terms of gossip and black-balling, etc) if we don't stay with the original organization.

[unsinkable]

The whole situation has been so unfair to your ds.:grouphug:

 

Thanks, Tammy. It is so hard on ds.

 

I specifically meant it was so difficult for me to make this type of decision. I can't think straight after a while.

[simka2]

When I was 9 I wrote a letter to the President, because my mom encouraged me to. That was a first step in fighting against the unjust practices of some very large organizations. Now, I am not against large organizations, but I do have issues when they use "bully" tactics to both keep money and not deliver.

 

If my child were 12 they would be drafting a letter to the media and the organization. We would be useing this as lesson in "when to walk away" and when to "fight for the kid who comes after you."

 

I wonder if stuff like this is covered in that book, "Do Hard Things?"

[Hockey Mom]

Is this program affiliated with USA Hockey?

 

I would contact them ASAP and tell them what this rink is doing. Your DS is too old for Squirt level, and IF they insisted he play at that level, then at the very LEAST they should either let him play for a reduced rate (as in this is just practice for him) or let him play for free.

 

I have the opposite problem with one of my boys. He plays Mite Rec League, and they have been trying to recruit him for the Mite Travel Team for the past 18 months. He's 7. I appreciate they want to push him forward, but I want him to love the sport - not see it as a chore, kwim?

 

Contact USA Hockey (or whichever affiliate they are running the program through). Find out what they can do for you on their end, and let the rink know that you want your money back AND you're contacting the house affiliate.

[unsinkable]

:iagree: ITA. Either a lawyer or contact one of the local news stations and share the story with their watchdog/consumer advocacy reporters. Bad press (or the threat of it) can work wonders. I guess that doesn't fall into your dh's idea of not making waves. But $900 is a LOT of money to lose without some waves.

 

Thanks! It is a lot of money.

 

They just don't think they did anything wrong. We never would have went to another organization if they had just put him on a PW team.

[unsinkable]

I think they're just looking for an excuse to keep your money.

 

And I think your dh is being silly about this. Too many parents roll over and play dead, just to avoid a confrontation, and that makes these organizations think they can get away with anything.

 

They're not gods, they're just a bunch of idiots who are trying to steal your money.

 

Cat

 

See my original thought was that they signed so many kids just to get more money. If they signed 10 more PWs that they planned to just play with the squirts that's $9000.

[unsinkable]

I agree with this...it's an outrage, and I would DEMAND a full refund, threaten them with small claims court, AND threaten that you're going to take out a full page ad in the largest newspaper in town explaining exactly how they stole your money.

 

Sometimes getting a reputation for being a trouble-maker can turn into getting a reputation for being someone NOT to sc4%^! around with!

 

part of me would love to do this

[unsinkable]

I would tell them to refund every penny...or you will be reporting them to the BBB, the chamber of commerce, the local news media, whatever national organizations they are part of, ALL local parenting groups and associations, and hiring a lawyer to prevent them from defrauding any other families. Even if you spend $1000 to get the $900 back it would be worth it.

 

Thanks for the advice. I think I am going to call a nat. org to see what the rules are.

[unsinkable]

When I was 9 I wrote a letter to the President, because my mom encouraged me to. That was a first step in fighting against the unjust practices of some very large organizations. Now, I am not against large organizations, but I do have issues when they use "bully" tactics to both keep money and not deliver.

 

If my child were 12 they would be drafting a letter to the media and the organization. We would be useing this as lesson in "when to walk away" and when to "fight for the kid who comes after you."

 

I wonder if stuff like this is covered in that book, "Do Hard Things?"

 

thanks, simka

 

It's just that we are worried that it will end up backfiring.

[unsinkable]

Is this program affiliated with USA Hockey?

 

I would contact them ASAP and tell them what this rink is doing. Your DS is too old for Squirt level, and IF they insisted he play at that level, then at the very LEAST they should either let him play for a reduced rate (as in this is just practice for him) or let him play for free.

 

I have the opposite problem with one of my boys. He plays Mite Rec League, and they have been trying to recruit him for the Mite Travel Team for the past 18 months. He's 7. I appreciate they want to push him forward, but I want him to love the sport - not see it as a chore, kwim?

 

Contact USA Hockey (or whichever affiliate they are running the program through). Find out what they can do for you on their end, and let the rink know that you want your money back AND you're contacting the house affiliate.

 

I think hockey might work differently up here because there are so many orgs and rinks but I am probably going to call USA hockey. Thanks for the advice!

[Hockey Mom]

Here are the rules regarding USA Hockey:

 

http://www.usahockey.com/LinkedDocs/2/2/b/22b01d4c-ffbf-4169-9b43-3d4db5433db3.pdf

 

Page 8: The goal of USA Hockey is to promote a safe and positive playing

environment for all participants while continuing to focus on skill

development and enjoyment of the sport.

 

Page 10: Programs must be conducted to accommodate the number of new players who wish to

play hockey and to reduce the number who become disenchanted

and drop out.

[Surfside Academy]

Is this program affiliated with USA Hockey?

 

I would contact them ASAP and tell them what this rink is doing. Your DS is too old for Squirt level, and IF they insisted he play at that level, then at the very LEAST they should either let him play for a reduced rate (as in this is just practice for him) or let him play for free.

 

 

:iagree: I would contact USA Hockey. From what I understand, they have very strict rules and guidelines. They generally do not allow older kids playing down a level. I knew one boy that we played in a tournament who had a very serious illness for a couple of years. He had a request an exemption just to play Squirts one more year. It was like pulling teeth, but he eventually did get the exemption. Playing up is not a big deal but I have never heard of a rink allowing older kids to play down. If nothing else, the other rinks he played against would be furious!

[simka2]

thanks, simka

 

It's just that we are worried that it will end up backfiring.

 

 

HUH? :confused: At this point...what do you have to lose?

[Hockey Mom]

Page 12 (from the USA Hockey Rules):

 

Administrators Code of Conduct

 

• Follow the rules and regulations of USA Hockey and your

association to ensure that the association’s philosophy and

objectives are enhanced.

 

• Support programs that train and educate players, coaches, parents,

officials and volunteers.

 

• Promote and publicize your programs; seek out financial support

when possible.

 

• Communicate with parents by holding parent/player orientation

meetings as well as by being available to answer questions and

address problems throughout the season.

 

• Work to provide programs that encompass fairness to the

participants and promote fair play and sportsmanship.

 

• Recruit volunteers, including coaches, who demonstrate qualities

conducive to being role models to the youths in our sport.

 

• Encourage coaches and officials to attend USA Hockey clinics and

advise your board members of the necessity of these training

sessions.

 

• Make every possible attempt to provide everyone, at all skill

levels, with a place to play.

 

• Read and be familiar with the contents of the USA Hockey

Annual Guide and Official Playing Rules.

 

• Develop other administrators to advance to positions in your

association, perhaps even your own.

 

 

[unsinkable]

HUH? :confused: At this point...what do you have to lose?

 

We could gain a reputation as troublemakers that would spread thru the small hockey world.

[Hockey Mom]

We could gain a reputation as troublemakers that would spread thru the small hockey world.

 

I guarantee that you aren't the only family this rink has pulled this with. I wouldn't worry about the gossipers. If you contact the affiliate, they won't be able to do this to anyone else's family in the future.

[simka2]

We could gain a reputation as troublemakers that would spread thru the small hockey world.

 

True, there is always risk involved in doing something worth while. Risk of failure.

 

You could also gain a reputation as someone who sticks up for those who are being taken advantage of. I guarantee you, that if it is happening to you it is happening to someone else.

 

Hockey Mom has given you some great ammunition, which if used in calm and strong way, should go far. Truthfully, it would sound even better coming from your ds.

 

A question I often ask myself and the kids is this..."Do we base our actions on what others MAY think of us? or do we press forward and do what is DIFFICULT, but right?"

 

Please understand, I am not saying you should go off half cocked and hostile. Quite the opposite...a quiet strength is an amazing thing!

 

If you gain a rep as trouble makers for doing the right thing...YEAH!!!!

[Tammyla]

You must be ready to pull your hair out, and you do seem to be the only one behaving in a professional way.

 

QUOTE=unsinkable;2236020]Thanks, Tammy. It is so hard on ds.

 

I specifically meant it was so difficult for me to make this type of decision. I can't think straight after a while.

[plansrme]

If you gain a rep as trouble makers for doing the right thing...YEAH!!!!

 

Ordinarily, I would agree with this 100%. But, as per my original post above (in which I predicted a 95%/5% split), many years ago, in a completely-unrelated scenario, I was in a group of employees who was advised that, essentially, you have one shot at working for and leaving our firm; in other words, before you go, make sure you're leaving for the opportunity, 'cause we won't take you back. I remembered that in recent years, as my now-13 yo daughter, the gymnast, and I went through years of struggles with her old gym. We didn't leave, didn't leave, didn't leave, until February of last year, when she competed for her old gym on Sunday and started at her new one on Monday, right in the middle of competition season. That is unheard-of in local gymnastics circles. She went on to finish the season with her new gym, go to State and crush every single one of her old teammates. She ended up with state all-around and event titles, and an event title at Regionals, after years of those wins' eluding her with her old gym. Our small gymnastics community was abuzz, and we were completely, 100% vindicated, and I am confident that we do not have reputations as trouble-makers or malcontents.

 

Anyway, my point is that we sucked it up for years until the time was right, and then all of a sudden, it was right for everyone, and neither of us would change a thing.

 

I don't know if sticking it out is the right thing to do with this hockey team; I am just trying to present the other side of it.

 

Terri

[Haiku]

My husband coaches hockey and my kids play. It's against USA Hockey rules for a 12 year old to play on a 10U team, so I am not sure how they thought they were getting away with that. With 42 kids, they could easily have had three teams. I wish our organization were in your situation; we didn't have enough kids sign up for a 12U team this year.

 

I would say dump the original organization. It sounds like they don't know their heads from holes in the ground. I'd go with the organization that made room for your son a month in. It sounds like they value having your son.

 

I would then inform the original organization that, as you registered your son for 12U and paid for that, not 10U, they owe you a refund and that you would be pursuing the channels necessary to make that happen.

 

Tara

[simka2]

Ordinarily, I would agree with this 100%. But, as per my original post above (in which I predicted a 95%/5% split), many years ago, in a completely-unrelated scenario, I was in a group of employees who was advised that, essentially, you have one shot at working for and leaving our firm; in other words, before you go, make sure you're leaving for the opportunity, 'cause we won't take you back. I remembered that in recent years, as my now-13 yo daughter, the gymnast, and I went through years of struggles with her old gym. We didn't leave, didn't leave, didn't leave, until February of last year, when she competed for her old gym on Sunday and started at her new one on Monday, right in the middle of competition season. That is unheard-of in local gymnastics circles. She went on to finish the season with her new gym, go to State and crush every single one of her old teammates. She ended up with state all-around and event titles, and an event title at Regionals, after years of those wins' eluding her with her old gym. Our small gymnastics community was abuzz, and we were completely, 100% vindicated, and I am confident that we do not have reputations as trouble-makers or malcontents.

 

Anyway, my point is that we sucked it up for years until the time was right, and then all of a sudden, it was right for everyone, and neither of us would change a thing.

 

I don't know if sticking it out is the right thing to do with this hockey team; I am just trying to present the other side of it.

 

Terri

 

I know what you are saying....and I agree. You and I have had to make these decisions regarding our kids. And we are on the otherside...sot to speak. We've had to face the fear of the rep...and we've been able to experience the vindication. No one can say if your dd wouldn't have "landed on her feet ;)" (couldn't help myself) a year earlier, the point is eventually you did the hard thing. I bet you had someone in your life encourageing you to along the way, just like I had some wonderful ladies on here encourage me when I faced leaveing the barn I was training at, but was a very unhealthy situation.

 

Like you, we left...went small and dd took 1st at state.

 

Unsinkable is an amazing mom who has had to face a lot of difficult situations with this particular sons sports this year! My heart goes out to her, but as we both know...the other side really is greener!!!

[Hockey Mom]

 

I don't know if sticking it out is the right thing to do with this hockey team; I am just trying to present the other side of it.

 

Terri

 

The main issue, as I see it, is that her son is 12 years old. Squirts are 9-10 years old (Squirts is where they want her son to play). Based on his age, he should be playing with Pee Wees, AND should be learning the game at such a level to be moved to the Bantam level soon. Pee Wee League is 11-12 years old. He's on the tail-end of the Pee Wee league as it is.

 

I don't know if her son is physically much bigger than most of the 9-10 year olds on the Squirt teams, but that would be a huge concern for me if there was a 12 year old playing on my son's Squirt team. Safety is HUGE in hockey, and this doesn't seem like a safe scenario (not saying her son is aggressive, but rather, the game moves very fast and there is a BIG difference in skill level between a 9y/o and a 12y/o).

 

Additionally, I don't imagine this does much to boost her son's confidence in himself. :( That alone goes against EVERYTHING US Hockey stands for.

 

Like Simka said earlier, if this is handled in a calm, matter-of-fact way, then everyone wins. At the very least, they owe her $900.

[Hockey Mom]

My husband coaches hockey and my kids play. It's against USA Hockey rules for a 12 year old to play on a 10U team, so I am not sure how they thought they were getting away with that. With 42 kids, they could easily have had three teams. I wish our organization were in your situation; we didn't have enough kids sign up for a 12U team this year.

 

I would say dump the original organization. It sounds like they don't know their heads from holes in the ground. I'd go with the organization that made room for your son a month in. It sounds like they value having your son.

 

I would then inform the original organization that, as you registered your son for 12U and paid for that, not 10U, they owe you a refund and that you would be pursuing the channels necessary to make that happen.

 

Tara

 

I'm so glad you posted this Tara. :) And :iagree:

[DianeW88]

I'm going to guess that 95% of the responses you get will say "fight for your money." But your husband has a point about this. I don't know how the hockey world works, but I can tell you that in gymnastics, you would get labeled as trouble-makers, and it would come back to bite you and your son one day. Maybe it's worth it, maybe it's not. But I would make darned sure that you do not EVER want to go back into this organization or another one in your town before you make a stink about it. It is not fair; it is not right. But in many sports, this is the way it is.

 

If your son is or becomes a star, you might get another chance, but otherwise, threatening to sue or trying to hard to get your money back will have ramifications long after you've cashed that check. I don't care how many times they tell you they do not take parental conflicts out on the child, they are lying.

 

Terri

 

:iagree: If your son never wants to play hockey again and you could care less what the other kids (and parents) say about him and your family, then pursue it. If you don't want your child bullied by these other kids and you don't want their parents making snide comments when they see him (and they will.....parents are the WORST in these kinds of situations) then just do what your dh said and leave it be. It's the cold, hard, reality of life in any competitive sport like this. Been there, done that. I wouldn't say a word.

[Haiku]

If your son never wants to play hockey again

 

I don't think it's quite that bad. The op's son is currently playing for another organization. This is house-level hockey; it's not the cut-throat world of travel hockey. If the hockey world there is that small, then everyone is probably aware of the fact that they over-registered, and there have to be other unhappy families. This organization is trying to take this family for nearly a thousand bucks. They should not be allowed to do that. I do hope the op contacts USA Hockey about this. I'm sure they would be very interested to know what's going on with this organization.

 

Tara

[unsinkable]

UPDATE:

 

I talked to a USA hockey for our state. I asked for it to be confidential, FWIW.

 

Basically, the rep said the org is doing nothing wrong. They provided DS a spot within the organization.

 

As to the squirt level house league, the rep said it was OK if they registered all the house teams as 12U. That would cover all the kids, squirts and PW.

 

The rep was very nice and he said he felt for DS and wished he had a different answer. He said completely understands our point and understands why we'd want DS to play at PW.

 

So there you go.

[Jan in SC]

What are the other 12 families doing? Have any of them had good luck getting their money back?

[Haiku]

As to the squirt level house league, the rep said it was OK if they registered all the house teams as 12U. That would cover all the kids, squirts and PW.

 

That is correct. Did they actually register their 10U team as 12U? ETA: If they did, I'd imagine there are some unhappy parents, as 10Us can't check but 12Us can. I wouldn't want my nine year old being checked by a 12 year old.

 

Sorry it's such a bad situation. I hope your son enjoys and gets a lot of out playing with the new organization.

 

Tara

Edited December 6, 2010 by TaraTheLiberator

[Surfside Academy]

Well that stinks! It sounds like the hockey director is more interested in $$ than taking care of his families and looking out for what's best for the kids. If you still want to play at that rink in the future, maybe you could ask them to keep your $$ but apply it for next season when your son can play on a team that's appropriate for his age. It's a compromise but they're not losing $$.

[unsinkable]

I just looked thru all the stuff I had for DS12's hockey. I don't have copies of a contract, only registration and acceptance in the Peewee program. It specifically says Peewee program.

 

I didn't think we signed a contract like you do in travel. We signed them every year with DS15 so I am doubting myself about whether we did it with DS12. The years we played house, I know we didn't sign contracts.

 

My head is spinning. Am back to my original problem? Stay, leave quietly or leave with a fight.

 

I didn't realize that so many WTM kids played hockey! We should get together and play some street hockey. It'd be fun! I miss those days when the kids were so little that all 5 of us could play in the driveway and it was basically DH against the rest of us. :D

[jujsky]

I remember when you originally posted this. If they haven't made a spot for your son, they need to refund the money, or at least a portion of it since you have been practicing with them. If they continue to refuse, write a letter to your local paper. People need to hear the negative things about this league as well. They never, ever should have taken your money if there was no spot for your son.