nuttman Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 We have adopted 3 of our grandchildren. In fact, we have, in one way or another, had them living with us for their entire lives. We are all Christians. My oldest son (grandson) is 16 and he started liking a girl who is only 13. He had her come over to our house last Saturday and several times they were kissing. He has only been around her in different settings 2 or 3 times. I told him she was too young for her. His sister is 13 too. I told him he had to find an older girlfriend; She was his first girlfriend and crush. I am 59 and maybe I see things the old fashion way. Did I make the right decision? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Absolutely YES. The laws may be different depending on the state, but a 16 yr old is held to a higher standard of conduct in the courts than a 13 yr old. Just from a legal standpoint, his involvement with this young girl puts him at risk. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes. Where are her parents? :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 yep. you did right. Of course in ten years it won't matter, but it is not ten years from now. Right now she is 13 years old. I would not allow my 13 yr. old dd "see" a 16 yr. old guy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
May Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes! As a parent of two dds, I can't even imagine letting a 13 year old dd see a 16 year old boy. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 We have adopted 3 of our grandchildren. In fact, we have, in one way or another, had them living with us for their entire lives. We are all Christians. My oldest son (grandson) is 16 and he started liking a girl who is only 13. He had her come over to our house last Saturday and several times they were kissing. He has only been around her in different settings 2 or 3 times.I told him she was too young for her. His sister is 13 too. I told him he had to find an older girlfriend; She was his first girlfriend and crush. I am 59 and maybe I see things the old fashion way. Did I make the right decision? Yes. At 21 and 24 those 3 year won't matter; at 13 and 16, there is a lot of developmental difference.The problem is that simply telling him may not help. Also, check with your 16 year old, the laws of your state. State law varies widely, but they could have certain types of sexual interactions (even short of intercourse) that could land him in jail, even if she initiated them. I would call the girl's parents and tell them about the relationship as well, so they can be aware of what is going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alpidarkomama Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes, yes, yes! As orthodox Jews, we don't even permit dating until they are dating for marriage, and even then there's still no touching, kissing, etc. Just dates in public places. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChemMommy Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 You did the right thing!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PentecostalMom Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 :iagree: :iagree::iagree::iagree: Think if you were the young girls mother or grandmother....would you want him kissing her then? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes, you did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttman Posted November 16, 2010 Author Share Posted November 16, 2010 Cory actually turns 16 on Dec 2, but that is close enough for me. I warned him of the legal consequences and also told him how he should treat any girl he is around. My wife and I went with each other for 4 years before we were married, After dating for more than 2 years we finally held hands. I told him that movies, tv and music completely distort how a guy is to treat a yound lady. As far as her parents, her mother dropped her off here and her father picked her up. I understand her father was thrilled with Cory because of his lack of tattos and his not having a gothic look. He is mad, but so what. I told him I am trying to protect him and his future. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 He is mad, but so what. I told him I am trying to protect him and his future. Maybe he's showing you "mad", but he's probably sad. And mad. In his mind, he was falling in love with her, and now you won't let them be together. Yes, he'll be mad and sad. I would be gently firm with him, understanding that he probably feels pretty rotten right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nuttman Posted November 16, 2010 Author Share Posted November 16, 2010 I know ithis was his first "love", but he has only known her for about 3 weeks. So maybe the hurt won't last long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 I know ithis was his first "love", but he has only known her for about 3 weeks. So maybe the hurt won't last long. I agree! That's why be gentle, but FIRM. Sounds like you already are. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Christian or not, a 16 yo should not be dating a 13 yo - way too developmentally apart. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes, you did the right thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greta Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 As the mother of a girl who will be 13 in just two short years (gulp!), I know I would not wanting her kissing a 16 year old boy. Three years apart at those ages is worlds apart. You did the right thing, and you might consider finding a tactful way to make sure her parents are aware of the situation. I would want to know if it were me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sonshine Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Her parents sound like they may be of the mindset that she is going to date someone anyway and they are glad she choose such a nice boy. If they are pushing this, you may need to make your rules clear to them. Or say something to scare them away from him, if they don't listen. Not something false, but to the effect that even nice boys have hormones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Yes, I think you did the right thing, and I commend you for it. So many parents of boys never bother to monitor their kids' behavior with girls, and I think it's great that you're trying to teach your son to be respectful and conservative. I also agree that the girl is too young for him, even without possible legal ramifications. Your son is probably heartbroken right now, though, so hopefully you and he can do some fun "guy stuff" to help distract him so he can get his mind back in the right place. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted November 16, 2010 Share Posted November 16, 2010 Definitely the right decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.