Is it common for

[cdrumm4448]

older kids (cousins) to tell their younger cousins about the facts of life? My nephew (11) told my son his version of sex. Of course, ds told me everything he said, including not to tell me. And his information was incorrect. Cousin is public schooled and very quiet. But, he must perk right up when alone with ds.

 

FWIW, I purchased a very gentle introduction to the facts of life for ds. We read it, and he understands how flowers reproduce, but we haven't taken it any further. I shy away from books with anatomical drawings because he's only 8 (turning 9 in Nov.) Although, I have to say he does have some advanced knowledge since my neighbor accidentally showed him (and their own kids) an adult film when he was 5 years old. I still haven't gotten over that one.

[Jean in Newcastle]

There are some good books out there for children your kid's ages. It is time to tell your child about human sexuality. That doesn't necessarily mean every single aspect of sexuality, but it does mean the proper names of body parts and the basics of how it works.

[Starr]

Yes I think it would be normal to talk about. And it looks like the next book in the series is in order at your house. :D Be glad your ds told you so you can give him correct information.

[Gooblink]

Probably. Everything I learned about it came from my cousins and schoolmates.

 

I'd been on dh to have a talk with the boys for a long time! We've done basic human body stuff, but never really ventured beyond body parts. Then, we were reading a story in Genesis about Abraham's seed and offspring and my youngest asked why this and why that so...I gave 'em the talk. Ds1 said he'd already figured most of it out, ds2 said, "that's disgusting!" I'll leave any Q&A to dh.

[TanuvasaMama]

that's how I learned. :glare:

 

Be prepared because I doubt he'll be the last who wants to share this new found knowledge. It would be best to arm him with a bit if truth (not detail) and let him know he did the right thing by coming and having an pen conversation with you.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

Well, my cousins were around the same age as I was, but they knew a whole lot more than I did! I learned quite a bit from them.

[SonshineLearner]

Kids are smarter than we want them to be.... Just make sure you're answer the bit that they are asking... and probably a little teeny bit more. My son asked why "girls have p** p**s that are inside... and boys are Outside" I didn't think I needed to have a huge talk about it... after I stopped gasping for air. I realized he was...just talking about why... for out or in.... and didn't need me to spell out everything...

BUT, at 8... they probably need more.... because.... they will be told before you do... by someone else. Think about it... when they are all giggly and talking amongst themselves... there are few topics that they don't share amongst themselves... especially if they think that it's something they shouldn't be talking about...

 

:(

[fairfarmhand]

very common. my older cousins told me, since my mother was too mortified to mention it.

Edited October 29, 2010 by fairfarmhand

[NanceXToo]

I'm sure it is quite normal.

 

My daughter was only 5 or 6 when she asked where babies came from, and I read her a book (by Dr. Ruth) about it geared toward children and told her she could let me know whenever she wanted to look at the book, and she could ask me if she had any questions. I think your son is definitely old enough for a book/conversation that is more specific than flowers. :) And I don't think you need to shy away from anatomical drawings either, it's just a body, not a secret. Kids handle that sort of information very well, even when Mom and Dad are rather embarrassed by it lol. And it's much better to have the correct knowledge than the half truths his family and friends will talk about at that age.

[HistoryMom]

I had "the talk" with the two little kids in the car earlier this week. Someone was talking about sex on the radio, so I turned it off and asked them if they knew what it was. Nope. They got a quick, 25-words-or-less version with proper names for things and a little snippet about how it's something for grown-ups who love each other. Done deal. They are 5 and 6 years old. My 14 y.o. got a similar chat at the same age. I think the older they get, the more awkward it gets.

[Mom0012]

I would think so. I'm trying to hold off another year having this talk with my almost-9 year old daughter, but she is close to my niece and I know she "has the facts", so I know it is only a matter of time before she tells her. I should will probably go ahead and talk with my daughter before their next sleepover, but I just know that she would be much more ready in a year. My niece is sweet, but there is no way she will listen if my sister tells her not to share this info.

 

Lisa

[Mejane]

Yes, it's common, and this is why it's better to talk to them early. If you don't tell them, you can rest assured someone else will.

[heart'sjoy]

you overhear ds 6 asking dd 10 to show him how she's made differently.

 

After I fall on the floor and die with laughter all the while keeping a straight face, I ask ds6 what he wants. When I realize what he wants, information, I get out a college anatomy book and let him look and ask as many questions as he wants.

 

This year I got out a parent guide for teens for preteen dd now 11 and let her read and ask as many questions as she wanted about sexually transmitted diseases, birth control, and puberty of both sexes. For her it was just right because she had basic information at 5-6 from watching her own cats.

Edited October 30, 2010 by heart'sjoy
typos

[Kates]

Yep, it's normal...kids will talk about whatever they think is interesting. And in ps...that's normally what's most interesting. :glare: (At least from my memories anway...)

 

I agree, that's why we've always been pretty open with ds about it. When he was 5 and begged for a baby brother (until he found out we had to keep said sibling ;)), I figured out that what he really wanted to know was the nitty-gritty of how babies get from the inside to the outside. I told him if he really wanted to know, we'd watch Discovery Health...that ended that conversation.

 

When he was 8, he started asking again about how babies are made and how they come out of Mom's tummy. Dh sat down with him with a book, after half an hour he said, "Really? That's all there is to it? Ok." and that was "the talk". (Of course, this was while he was working on a project to read through the entire Bible; the next night started Song of Solomon. About the time he interrupted, looked at me and said, "You're Dad's private garden, right Mom?" I got up and left...dh got to do the reading that night :lol:)

 

Ever since, he's been very matter-of-fact about it. It's not something that he's embarrassed by, because it's not something that dh and I embarrass him with. If he has questions, we answer honestly. He's turning 13 and can discuss it when needed, and has no problem coming to dh and I with anything he doesn't understand.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

There are some good books out there for children your kid's ages. It is time to tell your child about human sexuality. That doesn't necessarily mean every single aspect of sexuality, but it does mean the proper names of body parts and the basics of how it works.

 

:iagree:It is better to hear accurate info from you than inaccurate info from other kids. I think it is quite common for kids to talk about that stuff and has been so for ages.

[Crimson Wife]

I was worried about DD hearing about it from a non-Christian perspective, so for her 8th birthday a couple weeks ago I gave her What's the Big Deal? Why God Cares About S*x by Stan & Brenna Jones. It was rather franker than I had been expecting, but when I thought about it, I figured it would be better to learn about those things from a Biblical perspective than from the media or other kids in our area with questionable values.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Yes, it's normal and since he has already heard "cousin's version of sex" from the cousin, hearing about bees reproducing from you isn't gonna cut it. He needs the facts.

[Rosie_0801]

Kids talking about things they don't think they're supposed to be talking about is probably one of the most normal things in the world!

 

Rosie- totally looking forward to this phase of life (not really)

[texasmama]

Unfortunately, yes. My 7 year old heard about s*x from a female cousin who was 11 at the time. When my SIL shared these facts with her dd, she neglected to tell her not to share them with every younger kid she encountered. So, while holding and nursing a newborn, I reviewed the information my dd had, told her "Yep, that sounds about right." (graphic description of the act) and asked her if she had any questions. No real harm was done, and we laugh about it now (she was 15), but I was beyond irritated.