I have some questions about the Baptist denom.

[Hunter's Moon]

I was never raised a specific denomination.

 

My mother was brought up Catholic and while I think my paternal Grandmother was Catholic, I don't think my father was taught about religion. He doesn't talk about it much.

 

From the time I was 5 to about 13 I attended a non-denom. church. I didn't like the fact that we never had a denom. My mother always said our denom. was born again, but many denom. can be considered born again.

 

I was never raised with traditions (other than celebrating holidays for the sake of it). I know that when I have children a long time from now, I would like them to have traditions instilled in them at a young age. So while I won't be having children for a while, I would still like to join a denom. that has my same beliefs and wouldn't mind a 17-year old girl attending alone.

 

I really like what Independent Baptists believe. It makes sense to me. I just have a few questions.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

 

I understand that some people that are Ind. Baptist are more conservative than others, but I would love answers from personal experience/your own beliefs.

 

Thank you.

Edited October 13, 2010 by BeatleMania

[catalinakel]

sorry....I read this "baptist demon" ..........got a good laugh.

[Perry]

sorry....I read this "baptist demon" ..........got a good laugh.

Me too. :lol:

[Hunter's Moon]

Me too. :lol:

 

I figured people would.

 

I wrote it and even I keep thinking I wrote demon instead of denom. :tongue_smilie:

[Mallorie]

I don't have enough knowledge to answer your questions, but I do have something for you to mull around.

 

I didn't attend church growing up. After I got married, I became Lutheran, because my husband was. About two years ago, the Lord got my attention, and everything changed. We now attend a southern baptist church.

 

I can't tell you about different denominations, but I know enough to know this: Follow Christ. He will put you where He wants you. There are Catholics, Lutherans, Baptists, etc. who all love the Lord. Try some churches out. I was told that when you find where He wants you to be, He will let you know. I found it to be true.

 

The only title I like to hold is "Christian". I am His and He is mine. :)

[FO4UR]

I think it will vary from church to church somewhat...on all 4 of your questions.

 

There is no need to join any denomination at this point. Truly! (I'm not against Independent Baptists in any way, but...)

 

I'd recommend waiting until after college before really settling in on a denomination. You can go to a church, and even join the church without deciding that *for the rest of your life* you are going to be (fill in the blank denom).

 

I think better questions to ask are:

 

"Why would a denom require women to wear dresses, cover their heads?" "Why are these churches large or small?" "Why would they make a young single person feel comfortable or uncomfortable?"

 

It's not an issue of *if* you can mold your ways to fit their beliefs, but if their practices are determined by their beliefs and if their beliefs are even biblical. Again...it all varies from church to church.

[Lucy in Australia]

I can only speak for our church and we are in Australia (but with an American pastor) so take this for what it's worth :)

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

No, women wear what they like. Some only wear skirts, others are always in jeans and no one really notices much (and those who do obviously keep their opinion to themselves :)

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

No one in our church wears a head covering at any time.

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

Our membership is at about 130, with quite a few visitors, more in the morning than in the evening service.

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

You would be welcomed with open arms. We have lots of people attending alone, including a few who are about your age.

 

My only advice would be to keep looking if you don't feel comfortable in the first church you go to. They can be very different from each other.

[Parrothead]

Now if you want Tradition, you should try the Catholic church. ;)

 

I agree with 3blessingmom, don't lock yourself in right away. Attend a few different Protestant churches. If you have one in your area, go to the Orthodox church. Also check out your local Catholic parish.

[MamaSheep]

I am not baptist, so take my input for whatever it's worth, but I've had a bunch of Baptist friends over the years and none of their churches required that they wear skirts and/or head coverings. (It may be, though, that the Baptists who hold to those beliefs would also not approve of hanging out with a Mormon friend either, so my sampling may be biased.)

 

That said, however, I have also noticed quite a lot of variation from church to church in the Baptist denomination. From what I gather (and I hope someone who knows more will chip in) each church in this denomination is independent and determines its own policies, and even its own teachings to a large extent. They then choose a larger organization or convention of churches to group together with, and usually these have similar teachings to what that individual church has decided upon, but the tenets of the larger denominational body are not necessarily binding on the individual churches. I suspect that a lot of the questions you have asked will depend on the specific Baptist church as much as it does upon the denomination. Most churches I've "met" would welcome pretty much anyone who cared to attend. But I would guess that you could get some good, solid answers to your questions by calling the church offices of a church you were interested in attending and asking the secretary (or whoever answers their phone).

 

I do know that churches of my own faith (which are more standardized with regard to belief and policy) would certainly welcome a 17 year old attending alone. While dresses are generally expected at Sunday worship services, they are not standard dress otherwise.

Edited October 12, 2010 by MamaSheep

[milovany]

I admire your thoughtfulness and willingness to pursue avenues even if they weren't what you were raised with. As for our family, we have attended Baptist churches in the past, but have been attending an Orthodox church for more than a year now, and couldn't be more thrilled. Very conservative, which may or may not play out in certain ways. In our parish, women do tend to wear skirts and head coverings for services, but this isn't true of all parishes. It IS a very liturgical church, which I never thought I'd be interested in, but I've learned so much about the history of Christianity through it. Of course you'd be welcome to attend by yourself.

 

Oh! Sorry, I got off track. Here's what I wanted to say: The thing I thought of from your post, though, was when when you mentioned traditions to celebrate with your children. The Orthodox church follows a yearly festal cycle where we celebrate (along with the other 250-300 million Orthodox around the world) certain feasts at certain times. Your traditions are built in when you're Orthodox -- you don't have to do a ton of work to come up with them. (I mean, of course you'll come up with the way you/your family does certain things -- but preparing for Nativity begins Nov. 15 all over the world with things like the feast of St. Nicholas on Dec. 6 and the 12 days of Christmas beginning Dec. 26, etc.). These feasts have developed over the church's 2000 year history, which I think is pretty cool. There are also "the prayers" -- prayers you can pray daily/weekly with your children.

 

As for parish size, it will of course vary. There are large and small Orthodox churches (ours is a mission church with about 30 people, our "mother" church is about 200-300 people).

 

Hope this helps. And I hope you find the fullness of God on your journey! :)

Edited October 12, 2010 by milovaný

[Kates]

Every Baptist church is different; they are autonomous, so each will have its own "flavor". I live in an area that has a Baptist church for about every 5 square miles, and I have yet to find two that are terribly similar :)

 

From those that I've attended, not one has expected women to wear skirts or dresses. (Some do, some don't...I usually don't.)

 

I've never had head coverings be an expected thing, but I also don't think anyone would look down on you if you chose to wear one.

 

Size-wise, they're all over the board ;) I think it depends on the area of the country...the ones by us are mid-size to large-ish, not a mega-church or anything but several hundred people. However, the one where my folks live (a small town in northern WI), there might be 100 people on any given Sunday.

 

I don't think they'd have any problem with you attending alone. I know people who come with their extended family in tow, and I know people who come alone. It's not really something that's talked about or noticed, aside from noticing who you came with so they can remember who's related to whom. Overall, it's pretty non-judgmental, accepting people for who they are.

 

Hope that helps!

[WagsWife]

I was never raised a specific denomination.

 

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

 

I understand that some people that are Ind. Baptist are more conservative than others, but I would love answers from personal experience/your own beliefs.

 

Thank you.

 

We are Independent Baptist. You are correct...as a rule most IBs are more conservative, but the thing to remember is that each church is "independent" from others...so, you could go to 2-3 different IB chruches, and have totally different experiences.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

 

This will depend on the Pastor of the church...and his attitude about women wearing pants. We have been to one IB church where the Pastor was *very legalistic about wearing pants. The IB church we go to now, is not that way. Our Pastor will tell people (if asked) that for his family, he likes his wife and girls to wear skirts, but NO ONE is made to feel uncomfortable about it. Even knowing that me and our girls wear pants/shorts...my Dh was still asked to be a deacon.

 

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

 

In the 14 years we have gone to IB churches, we have only seen this a handful of occasions. It is definitely is *not the norm!

 

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

 

Again, depends on the church. Our church runs about 130 on a Sunday morning...but there are a couple of churches a few hours north of here that run in the 1000's.

 

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

 

I do not see any reason why this would be a problem. Our church has a bus ministry...so we have many kids who come without their parents. Most of my daughters youth group, are kids whose parents do not attend our church.

 

How many IB churches do you have in your area? If there are more than one, I would try a few of them to see where you are comfortable. I would also pay close attention to their youth group. That is very important for teens...especially if you are going to be going alone.

 

There are some things to watch out for in *some IB churches. If you would like to discuss this (or IB churches in general) more, you can PM me!

[GWOB]

sorry....I read this "baptist demon" ..........got a good laugh.

 

From a recovering-Baptist-preacher-kid, :lol::smilielol5:

 

Op, I grew up Southern Baptist. My parents were raised Catholic but converted when I was 6. After I left home, my Dad became a preacher. I know the Southern Baptist church well.

 

You stated you are looking for traditions. Baptist have none. Baptist churches vary widely and usually have no unifying doctrine. For instance, we started out at an Independant, Fundemental Baptist church. Women were required to wear dresses and men could not have facial hair. Other Baptist churches had different regulations about dress. In my Southern Baptist church, my youth group was forbidden to go on a mission trip to build a church because they were Independat Baptist, not Southern Baptist. I experienced so much hate, racism, hypocrisy (sp), and back-stabbing at that church. When I left home, it took me years to step foot in another church.

 

OP, I know you are young and searching. That's a great thing. But you know what? Jesus isn't going to ask your denomination when you get to heaven. He's all about heart, not actions.

 

BUT, if you want traditions and a denominations, look for a liturgical church. Some examples are Catholic, Lutheran, Orthodox, and Episcipal. I *think* some Methodist churches still follow the liturgy. I finally wound up in a Lutheran church (LCMS to be exact). I needed the traditions, the unifying beliefs, and the real, Bible-based teachings. I cannot recommend a Baptist church to a young, impressionable person.

[lionfamily1999]

You've had so many helpful responses so far, but I thought I would chime in...

As far as traditions, I've attended three Baptist churches and they all had large fall festivals, huge Christmas festivals, moving Palm Sunday services, sunrise Easter services (outdoors), and services for some other holidays. Oh, homecoming services, and the baptisms and gigantic potlucks once a month (baptisms vary). The joke is, you'll never go hungry long as a Baptist ;)

 

As far as attending alone, I have yet to know of a Baptist church that would see that as anything other than a huge blessing. That you would be moved to attend without your parents means, to those I know, that you have an excellent heart. That's not to say that going with Mom and Dad is bad, but the youth leaders will go out of their way (in my experience) to make sure that transportation &tc is never an issue for you.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

Ime, this depends on who's going. I have never known anyone to be rude about it, but there are some churches where the folks dress and others where they show up. There are a lot more churches with variety (some dressed up, some dressed down).

 

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

Outside of fancy Sunday hats, I've never seen it.

 

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

It depends on the area and depends on the church. There are four in our area. Two are very crowded (for where we live) and two are smaller.

 

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

Absolutely not! See above :)

 

My only advice would be to keep looking if you don't feel comfortable in the first church you go to. They can be very different from each other.

:iagree:

From what I gather (and I hope someone who knows more will chip in) each church in this denomination is independent and determines its own policies, and even its own teachings to a large extent. They then choose a larger organization or convention of churches to group together with, and usually these have similar teachings to what that individual church has decided upon, but the tenets of the larger denominational body are not necessarily binding on the individual churches.

Our church is actually deciding whom to charter with right now. We are Virginia Independant Baptist, but they've started teaching more liberal ideas, so we're considering signing with the Southern Baptist Convention. It does work similarly to this, but there are general principals (baptism by full emersion) that are the same from church to church. This is also what covers if the church is 'pastor led' or 'congregation led' and a million other things. How or if you celebrate Halloween, if you can drink alcohol, and other of those sorts of things come down to which group you charter with.

 

Churches are usually very forthcoming with this information. Ask about membership and (in my experience) they'll be glad to go over the ins and outs.

[Kirch]

I was never raised a specific denomination.

 

My mother was brought up Catholic and while I think my paternal Grandmother was Catholic, I don't think my father was taught about religion. He doesn't talk about it much.

 

From the time I was 5 to about 13 I attended a non-denom. church. I didn't like the fact that we never had a denom. My mother always said our denom. was born again, but many denom. can be considered born again.

 

I was never raised with traditions (other than celebrating holidays for the sake of it). I know that when I have children a long time from now, I would like them to have traditions instilled in them at a young age. So while I won't be having children for a while, I would still like to join a denom. that has my same beliefs and wouldn't mind a 17-year old girl attending alone.

 

I really like what Independent Baptists believe. It makes sense to me. I just have a few questions.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

 

I understand that some people that are Ind. Baptist are more conservative than others, but I would love answers from personal experience/your own beliefs.

 

Thank you.

 

Technically, independent Baptist churches aren't in a denomination--that's what makes them independent. The "Baptist" label refers to churches that believe that baptism should be done by immersion for people who have professed faith in Christ ("believer's baptsim," as opposed to infant baptism.) Some Baptist churches are part of a denomination--Southern Baptist, American Baptist, or Missionary Baptist, to name a few. Independent Baptist churches are completely autonomous, answer to no governing body. I think some are connected with other like-minded churches, but it's more of a confederation/partnership kind of thing than a denomination. So if you're really looking for a *denomination,* an independent Baptist church isn't what you want. They do tend to have beliefs in common, though, so if that's really what's important to you, check some out. ITA with the previous posters--you'll just have to try some to figure out if it's what you're looking for. Baptist churches in general also tend to be less formal, especially as far as traditions/rituals. For the most part, any traditions that a church has will probably be specific to that church. Although there may be others out there that do the same things, that will be because they like the idea, not because they are part of a denomination that all does them, kwim?

 

I've had a few experiences with independent Baptist churches, and based on those, I think they do tend to be very conservative, even to the point of fundamentalist. The ones I've had contact with have been KJV Bible only, and one of them was a "ladies in skirts/dresses" only (although we visited on a Sunday night and I was in jeans; I was uncomfortable once I realized I was the only woman in pants, let alone jeans, but everyone was very gracious to us.) I had an experience in high school with a pastor of an independent Baptist church who ranted at me about the wrong things my denomination (Southern Baptist) believed, was amazed to hear me explain an understanding of salvation that matched his, and told me that I'd figured out the truth from somewhere, but that I needed to get out of "that" church, even though that might be difficult since I was still in my father's house (he was the music minister.) :glare:

 

I've never encountered a Baptist church of any flavor where the women wore head coverings. I'm sure there are some out there, but that's not the norm. They tend to be small- to mid-sized, I would say, although there's lots of variation there too.

 

Any church that is functioning they way that God intended (and as described in the Bible) would welcome you with open arms, even if you're alone. If you get the feeling that you're not welcome for whatever reason, keep looking--that would be a definite "red flag" for me.

 

And many non-denominational churches are very similar to Baptists in doctrine and will have their own traditions, like I mentioned before, so unless you're really looking for more formal traditions within the context of a larger denomination, don't count them out. Episcopalians and Lutherans are probably the protestant denominations that would have more formal traditions. If your core beliefs line up pretty well with Baptist doctrine, you probably won't find that a Catholic church fits well--there are some major differences.

 

Traditions to establish with your family don't have to be tied to a denomination, though. I'm a member of a Southern Baptist church, and we do have some traditions that I love and participate in with my family (i.e., a candle light Christmas Eve service), but they are things we do as a church because we enjoy them and they're meaningful to us, not because we're part of a denomination where everyone does it. I choose to be a part of our church because the focus is on Christ, the pastor and teachers teach/preach the Bible, and we love each other (this is the best church I've ever been in as far as love and unity--and I've been in church since before I was born!).

 

I hope that makes sense--I feel like I'm rambling and not expressing myself well at all!

[Heather in WI]

I was raised Southern Baptist, in my adult life attended two Independent Fundamentalist Baptist churches for 2+ years each, attended a couple of other IB churches a few times, and now am a member of a Reformed Baptist church.

 

I really like what Independent Baptists believe. It makes sense to me. I just have a few questions.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts?

One of the IB churches implicitly taught this in that all the teachers & members were dresses only, but as a two-year more than once a week attender, it was never pressed on me. The other IB church had no such thing; it seemed split 50/50 between pants are ok/dresses-only wearers.

 

 

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

I've never seen this in any of the Baptist churches I've attended by members. I have occasionally seen visitors wear head coverings.

 

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

In my experience, it seemed split 50/50. The two I attended for 2+ years were both very large (400+ members); the churches we visited once or twice were very small (less than 50 members).

 

 

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

No. I don't think they'd have a problem. I attended alone with a baby often as my husband wasn't a believer at the time. I was always nervous walking in alone, but in hindsight it wasn't them, it was me. :)

 

[Alyce]

it is usually the norm that kids your age start going away from the church instead of toward it. I see you have lots of questions and that's good. My recommendation would be to try to find a book on the differences between the various church denominations and do a lot of internet research. That will at least give you a general idea of what each are about. Find one that aligns with most of your beliefs (I personally don't think you're going to find one that you will agree 100% with their beliefs) at least the ones you feel the most passionate about. Once you find a denomination that seems to line up with you then visit several in the area. You will find that in many denomination the church's will be different. You can go to 5 different Methodist Churches and there will be differences in how the service is run and what the church is like but their fundamental beliefs will all be the same. With some churches such as the Baptist there beliefs will change with each church because as others have already stated they are run independently not through a national organization as some other denominations are. In that situation you need to see what the mission statement for that church is. Visit with it's pastor and see where his beliefs lay. You can then be more free to choose the church you are more comfortable with. As to actually attending church, I know of few Christian churches who would turn away anyone young or old if they wanted to attend even if they were alone. I wouldn't let that fear stop you from attending church. Once you find a church, and even as you are looking, keep searching and studying your bible. That is where you will really find the truth. As I have gotten older I have gotten wiser and my beliefs have changed as I learn more about what Christ is all about. It is not uncommon for people to change their denomination as their beliefs change and even their churches. Even Denominations themselves change over time. Most major Denominations have foundational beliefs and national as well as worldwide conferences that affirm or change their denominations main beliefs periodically. I have seen many changes in the religious world since I rejoined the church 28 years ago. There are traditions in all churches and most importantly there are traditions that you will begin as you lead your children on their journey with God. The most important thing is that you never stop learning about Christ and God. It is very easy to get mislead by people who tell you what they think they know. If you study your Bible you will know whether they are really telling you the truth or not and then can make better decisions about your religious beliefs and ways of worship.

[MamaSheep]

Our church is actually deciding whom to charter with right now. We are Virginia Independant Baptist, but they've started teaching more liberal ideas, so we're considering signing with the Southern Baptist Convention. It does work similarly to this, but there are general principals (baptism by full emersion) that are the same from church to church. This is also what covers if the church is 'pastor led' or 'congregation led' and a million other things. How or if you celebrate Halloween, if you can drink alcohol, and other of those sorts of things come down to which group you charter with.

 

Thanks for this, it's nice to know I wasn't completely off base. :)

[nd293]

sorry....I read this "baptist demon" ..........got a good laugh.

 

Same here! I thought I was about to greatly widen my religious knowledge....

[lionfamily1999]

Thanks for this, it's nice to know I wasn't completely off base. :)

I didn't know the details until I joined the church I'm presently in. This church is congregation led, so we're all welcome to vote and take part. It's interesting to see the way all this works after so many years of not knowing a single thing about it.

[vonfirmath]

I was never raised a specific denomination.

 

My mother was brought up Catholic and while I think my paternal Grandmother was Catholic, I don't think my father was taught about religion. He doesn't talk about it much.

 

From the time I was 5 to about 13 I attended a non-denom. church. I didn't like the fact that we never had a denom. My mother always said our denom. was born again, but many denom. can be considered born again.

 

I was never raised with traditions (other than celebrating holidays for the sake of it). I know that when I have children a long time from now, I would like them to have traditions instilled in them at a young age. So while I won't be having children for a while, I would still like to join a denom. that has my same beliefs and wouldn't mind a 17-year old girl attending alone.

 

I really like what Independent Baptists believe. It makes sense to me. I just have a few questions.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

 

I understand that some people that are Ind. Baptist are more conservative than others, but I would love answers from personal experience/your own beliefs.

 

Thank you.

 

Well... independent baptists are just that, independent. They don't follow what anyone but the Bible tells them. So each church will be different.

 

My experience has been

1. Yes--to church (but my experience is over 10 years old and I would not be at all surprised to see Independent baptist churches now that were okay with pants. I consider myself Independent Baptist and I'm okay with them -- the Regular Baptist church I attended was fine with pants,as were the Southern Baptists. The one Independent Baptist that was the most strict about no pants ended up being a cult of personality that I was well away from.)

2. No

3. Small

4. No problems at all.

 

The non-denominational churches I have attended and felt comfortable in were very "Independent Baptist" in thought and action -- and it felt like they had shed the Baptist name because it is sometimes a liability now.

Edited October 12, 2010 by vonfirmath

[fairfarmhand]

I grew up Ind. Baptist; my dad has been a IB Pastor my entire life, as has my dh. One thing about IB is that they vary SO much. Thus the independent label. There is not a governing board to keep them in line so to speak; This can be ok. But there is also not much oversight if a pastor wants to go off the deep end.

 

If you want the IB belief ,but with some more oversight; or you find some of their beliefs extreme (like I said they vary so much, especially according to what area of the country you are looking at) look at Freewill Baptists and Southern Baptists. The beliefs are very very close, but those organizations have governing boards to help give churches some oversight.

 

 

has my same beliefs and wouldn't mind a 17-year old girl attending alone.

 

I really like what Independent Baptists believe. It makes sense to me. I just have a few questions.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious). Not all but many I. Baptists prefer that skirts be worn to church. Many will end up telling you that you are sinning if you wear slacks or shorts at any time.

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise? Not in my experience.

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)? They vary so much, that is a hard question to answer.

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age? No, I think most churches would be welcoming to anyone attending alone.

 

I understand that some people that are Ind. Baptist are more conservative than others, but I would love answers from personal experience/your own beliefs.

 

Thank you.

[ereks mom]

You've had so many helpful responses so far, but I thought I would chime in...

As far as traditions, I've attended three Baptist churches and they all had large fall festivals, huge Christmas festivals, moving Palm Sunday services, sunrise Easter services (outdoors), and services for some other holidays. Oh, homecoming services, and the baptisms and gigantic potlucks once a month (baptisms vary). The joke is, you'll never go hungry long as a Baptist ;)

 

As far as attending alone, I have yet to know of a Baptist church that would see that as anything other than a huge blessing. That you would be moved to attend without your parents means, to those I know, that you have an excellent heart. That's not to say that going with Mom and Dad is bad, but the youth leaders will go out of their way (in my experience) to make sure that transportation &tc is never an issue for you.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

Ime, this depends on who's going. I have never known anyone to be rude about it, but there are some churches where the folks dress and others where they show up. There are a lot more churches with variety (some dressed up, some dressed down).

 

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

Outside of fancy Sunday hats, I've never seen it.

 

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

It depends on the area and depends on the church. There are four in our area. Two are very crowded (for where we live) and two are smaller.

 

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

Absolutely not! See above :)

 

:iagree:

 

Our church is actually deciding whom to charter with right now. We are Virginia Independant Baptist, but they've started teaching more liberal ideas, so we're considering signing with the Southern Baptist Convention. It does work similarly to this, but there are general principals (baptism by full emersion) that are the same from church to church. This is also what covers if the church is 'pastor led' or 'congregation led' and a million other things. How or if you celebrate Halloween, if you can drink alcohol, and other of those sorts of things come down to which group you charter with.

 

Churches are usually very forthcoming with this information. Ask about membership and (in my experience) they'll be glad to go over the ins and outs.

 

:iagree:

 

I've attended Southern Baptist churches all my life, but I've known lots of people who attend Independent Baptist churches. In my experience, only going by the differences between Southern Baptist and Independent Baptist churches in my area (GA), the Independent Baptist churches have been a bit more conservative than the Southern Baptist churches. However, I'm sure this varies from church to church.

[Hunter's Moon]

Thank you everyone for all your help and suggestions.

 

If I do end up checking out churches, I will make sure to go to a few different ones so as not to limit my experience.

 

Thanks :001_smile:

[MamaSheep]

I didn't know the details until I joined the church I'm presently in. This church is congregation led, so we're all welcome to vote and take part. It's interesting to see the way all this works after so many years of not knowing a single thing about it.

 

It is interesting to see how things actually operate. I've always been interested in that sort of thing. How does the voting work at your church?

 

We vote at our church as well, though in our case it's a "common consent" vote rather than a majority rule sort of vote. What we vote on and how it gets to the point of being voted on is a little involved, but basically that means that for things like changes in staffing and ordinations, and a few other things, the leaders in charge of that particular area pray to learn God's will, and then when they've made a decision that decision is presented to the members of the church and each person votes as to whether they support or oppose the decision. However, rather than just going with the majority vote, it really only takes one opposing vote with a good reason to result in it not going through. What would happen if someone opposed is that the leaders would take that person aside afterward to hear their reasons for opposing the decision. Then they decide whether to proceed with things as originally intended, or go back and pray about it some more and see if God has something else in mind. Objections are fairly infrequent, but I've seen them happen, and I've seen the decisions go both ways. In the cases where I've known what the reasons for the objections were (usually they are kept confidential so as to protect privacy of the person(s) involved) I have agreed with the final decisions. Since I believe a church ought to be lead by God through revelation rather than by a man or group of men, I like this system of doing things. And during the times I've served in leadership positions I have experienced God's guidance in making decisions, so I fully believe it works the way it's supposed to.

 

Anyway, as I say, I've always been interested in how churches work and what they teach, so I'd love to hear more about how the voting works in your church.

[Jenn in Mo]

I have no idea about Independent Baptists, but had to laugh because I saw this post title after browsing the Halloween thread and thought I saw a question about the Baptist Demon. :lol:

[Jenn in Mo]

And apparently I wasn't the only one! :D

[wapiti]

Now if you want Tradition, you should try the Catholic church. ;)

 

I agree with 3blessingmom, don't lock yourself in right away. Attend a few different Protestant churches. If you have one in your area, go to the Orthodox church. Also check out your local Catholic parish.

:iagree: I was raised in a very Catholic family, and as an adult I find the traditions to be...particularly comforting, often when I least expect it. That is not something I had ever imagined or thought about when I was growing up. I've lived in many different places across the country as an adult, and even the "less traditional"/more "modern" Catholic churches that I've attended from time to time still have the traditions (I admit that after registering with the nearest parish, a relatively modern church, when we first moved here, we ended up switching to one with an even more traditional feeling. It's so easy to switch parishes ;))

 

Good luck on your journey :)

[cin]

I was raised IB and now attend an Evangelical Free church. I'm sure there are some differences, but as I was young when I attended the IB, I'm not really aware of them. Their doctrine is pretty much the same. There are not many 'rules' per se. People attend in all kinds of clothes, even shorts, which, as a SAHM, I appreciate. One of the reasons I stopped attending the IB church was the wardrobe requirements. I was attending a college with a large campus, and wore jeans and gymshoes. I didn't have extra money for dresses, hose and heels! Headcoverings are not required, but if someone wore one, noone would be shocked. Some people raise their hands in praise & worship, others don't.

 

I think if you attended a larger church, you would be more likely to have some peers there. Our church runs close to 1,000, and we have small groups for people to feel connected. They have several small groups that include young singles.

 

HTH : )

[Hunter's Moon]

I was raised IB and now attend an Evangelical Free church. I'm sure there are some differences, but as I was young when I attended the IB, I'm not really aware of them. Their doctrine is pretty much the same. There are not many 'rules' per se. People attend in all kinds of clothes, even shorts, which, as a SAHM, I appreciate. One of the reasons I stopped attending the IB church was the wardrobe requirements. I was attending a college with a large campus, and wore jeans and gymshoes. I didn't have extra money for dresses, hose and heels! Headcoverings are not required, but if someone wore one, noone would be shocked. Some people raise their hands in praise & worship, others don't.

 

I think if you attended a larger church, you would be more likely to have some peers there. Our church runs close to 1,000, and we have small groups for people to feel connected. They have several small groups that include young singles.

 

HTH : )

 

Thank you for sharing that bolded piece with me. I've been to a few large Catholic churches and always felt if I attended regularly I wouldn't feel connected.

 

The non-denominational church I grew up in was very small, about 20-40 members at a time. We would have loved more, but we usually never had more than 40 at a time. Towards the end, I didn't like all the gossiping and such, but I did like the closeness we had as a small church.

[Hunter's Moon]

I'll check out Orthodox churches around here as well.

 

Sadly, we had a lot of Catholic churches in our area close in the past year. It was a massive shut down.

 

To clarify what I meant about traditions though, I didn't necessarily mean the church having special holidays and such. I just meant, in my family, even though we attended church, we celebrated the holidays for the sake of celebrating it. So, even if a church only had the major holidays (Christmas, Easter), I would be fine with that as long as there was some sort of tradition to it.

 

I want my children to understand *why* we celebrate those holidays, not celebrate it because Santa or the Easter Bunny is coming. I didn't know about Jesus until I was 5, so I always celebrated holidays for presents and candy.

 

I do have a question for Catholics, though.

 

I am a bit confused about the role of Saints in the Church. I understand that some denominations believe all people who have died are Saints, whether their name was known or not. I also understand that Saints are loved and respected, but not worshiped. So, why do some denominations pray to certain Saints? For example, if I was travelling and I prayed to Saint Christopher for safe travel, why not just pray to God?

 

I'm sorry, I am not asking that in an offensive, closed-minded way, I am just honestly curious.

 

ETA: I did find this: "When a saint enters into the joy of their Master, they are "put in charge of many things" (Mat 25:21)

But I also found this: "Then I fell at the angel's feet to worship the angel, he said "'You must not do that! I am a fellow servant with you and your comrades the prophets, ...'"(Rev 19:10)

 

I am not sure if Catholics believe Angels and Saints are the same, but if they do, is it saying Saints are there to guide you in your prayers, but you must not worship them? Kind of like a phone directory? You pray to the Saint who is knowledgeable about a certain area and they direct you to God?

 

I don't mean to cause a debate or offend.

Edited October 12, 2010 by BeatleMania

[wapiti]

I do have a question for Catholics, though.

 

I am a bit confused about the role of Saints in the Church. I understand that some denominations believe all people who have died are Saints, whether their name was known or not. I also understand that Saints are loved and respected, but not worshiped. So, why do some denominations pray to certain Saints? For example, if I was travelling and I prayed to Saint Christopher for safe travel, why not just pray to God?

 

I'm sorry, I am not asking that in an offensive, closed-minded way, I am just honestly curious.

 

:lol: Not offensive. Indeed, I think somewhere along the way, I've read entire threads devoted to this question.

 

I don't know if I'd phrase it as praying to saints, it's more like you're asking the saint to pray to God on your behalf, the same as you'd ask friends to pray for you. But I'm sure someone with more knowledge than myself will pipe in on this ;).

[Brigitte]

I don't know if I'd phrase it as praying to saints, it's more like you're asking the saint to pray to God on your behalf, the same as you'd ask friends to pray for you. But I'm sure someone with more knowledge than myself will pipe in on this ;).

 

That's it in a nutshell. :001_smile: And, while we are on the topic, the same applies to Mary. Catholics don't worship Mary.

 

Stephanie, I would suggest, if you are drawn to the Catholic Church, that you go to a few different ones. They each have their own "flavor" - some have guitar strumming, foot tapping music and others will have chant, and yet others will fall somewhere in between. Some will have outstanding youth/young adult programs and others won't. The thing I really like about the Catholic Church is that I know that structure of the Mass will be the same no matter where I am. The readings in my parish are the same as the readings at the parish at the beach where I happen to be on vacation. The Catholic Church also goes through the entire Bible in 3 years and repeats that cycle.

 

Overall, I would suggest doing to study of the various denominations and try to get an understanding of what your personal beliefs are. In the meantime, attend lots of churches. I can't imagine that any church would not want a young lady, such as yourself, attending alone.

[milovany]

 

I am a bit confused about the role of Saints in the Church ...

 

 

I read a really good post recently about this (when a Protestant asked a similar question), so thought I'd copy/paste the reply here.

 

Welcome!

 

Everything posted above is very good. I would just add a bit more detail on a point A. touched on: that is, the Orthodox view of life and death.

 

Father Stephen Freeman ... has an analogy called the "One Story Universe". The typical Western view of the universe is that it has two stories: we on earth are on the First Floor, the people in heaven are on the Second Floor, and the people in hell are in the Basement (so three stories). The floors are completely isolated from each other.

 

In Orthodoxy, we believe the universe has just one floor. The dead in Christ are not actually dead, they are just as alive as we are. They are not isolated from us, for they form a great cloud of witnesses, who truly do witness our world. If we had spiritual eyes, we could see them as well, but in our sinful state most of us will never see this realm until the soul is separated from the body.

 

The Bible tells us that the prayers of the righteous are powerful, and we figure there are no more righteous people than the holy saints who lived exemplary lives in service to Christ and the Church. Since they are alive and are witnesses to our world, we can address them. And since their righteousness somehow makes their prayers more effective, we ask them to pray for us, alongside our brothers and sisters who are still struggling with us in the flesh.

 

It was hard for me to come to grips with this as well, but this was the most helpful way for me to look at it: the dead in Christ are still alive, they are still people, and they are still members of the Church. So we address them, requesting their prayers, the same way we would ask any of our friends at our parish church.

 

Sometimes people are put off by asking saints to heal them or perform supernatural acts. Why not just ask God directly? Well, we do, but God gives some people extraordinary gifts and abilities, such as healing. This was true with the Apostles, and there have been many healers and gifted holy people since them, even to our own day. So we can also ask them to heal us or help us using whatever abilities God has given them. If it is God's will, it will be done.

 

 

Hope this also helps!

Edited October 12, 2010 by milovaný

[Denise Allen]

I didn't read what others wrote so sorry if this repeats.

 

I have been Baptist all my life. Attended 5 different Baptist churches.

 

They are all different. No they don't wear head coverings. Some prefer you to wear a skirt- most do not. They have no problem with you coming alone. They are all various sizes. The reason you will find so much variance is because of the fact that they are Independent. They don't answer to a board of any kind.

 

I hope you find the church you feel comfortable with. :)

[Hunter's Moon]

That's it in a nutshell. :001_smile: And, while we are on the topic, the same applies to Mary. Catholics don't worship Mary.

 

Stephanie, I would suggest, if you are drawn to the Catholic Church, that you go to a few different ones. They each have their own "flavor" - some have guitar strumming, foot tapping music and others will have chant, and yet others will fall somewhere in between. Some will have outstanding youth/young adult programs and others won't. The thing I really like about the Catholic Church is that I know that structure of the Mass will be the same no matter where I am. The readings in my parish are the same as the readings at the parish at the beach where I happen to be on vacation. The Catholic Church also goes through the entire Bible in 3 years and repeats that cycle.

 

Overall, I would suggest doing to study of the various denominations and try to get an understanding of what your personal beliefs are. In the meantime, attend lots of churches. I can't imagine that any church would not want a young lady, such as yourself, attending alone.

 

Thank you, I just got a book from the library called Handbook of the Denominations in the United States. Hopefully, they can help me weed out the different denominations that interest me and see what I would like most.

 

I read a really good post recently about this (when a Protestant asked a similar question), so thought I'd copy/paste the reply here.

 

Welcome!

 

Everything posted above is very good. I would just add a bit more detail on a point A. touched on: that is, the Orthodox view of life and death.

 

Father Stephen Freeman ... has an analogy called the "One Story Universe". The typical Western view of the universe is that it has two stories: we on earth are on the First Floor, the people in heaven are on the Second Floor, and the people in hell are in the Basement (so three stories). The floors are completely isolated from each other.

 

In Orthodoxy, we believe the universe has just one floor. The dead in Christ are not actually dead, they are just as alive as we are. They are not isolated from us, for they form a great cloud of witnesses, who truly do witness our world. If we had spiritual eyes, we could see them as well, but in our sinful state most of us will never see this realm until the soul is separated from the body.

 

The Bible tells us that the prayers of the righteous are powerful, and we figure there are no more righteous people than the holy saints who lived exemplary lives in service to Christ and the Church. Since they are alive and are witnesses to our world, we can address them. And since their righteousness somehow makes their prayers more effective, we ask them to pray for us, alongside our brothers and sisters who are still struggling with us in the flesh.

 

It was hard for me to come to grips with this as well, but this was the most helpful way for me to look at it: the dead in Christ are still alive, they are still people, and they are still members of the Church. So we address them, requesting their prayers, the same way we would ask any of our friends at our parish church.

 

Sometimes people are put off by asking saints to heal them or perform supernatural acts. Why not just ask God directly? Well, we do, but God gives some people extraordinary gifts and abilities, such as healing. This was true with the Apostles, and there have been many healers and gifted holy people since them, even to our own day. So we can also ask them to heal us or help us using whatever abilities God has given them. If it is God's will, it will be done.

 

 

Hope this also helps!

 

Thank you, that was very helpful and does make lots of sense.

I was a bit confused before because it says that the Saints are still alive so I thought they were referring to actual living, breathing people who called themselves Saints.

It helps to know that they are called living but not in the context that you or I are.

 

Thanks :D

[mommaduck]

I was never raised a specific denomination.

 

My mother was brought up Catholic and while I think my paternal Grandmother was Catholic, I don't think my father was taught about religion. He doesn't talk about it much.

 

From the time I was 5 to about 13 I attended a non-denom. church. I didn't like the fact that we never had a denom. My mother always said our denom. was born again, but many denom. can be considered born again.

 

I was never raised with traditions (other than celebrating holidays for the sake of it). I know that when I have children a long time from now, I would like them to have traditions instilled in them at a young age. So while I won't be having children for a while, I would still like to join a denom. that has my same beliefs and wouldn't mind a 17-year old girl attending alone.

 

I really like what Independent Baptists believe. It makes sense to me. I just have a few questions.

 

1. Do Independent Baptist churches usually expect women to wear dresses/skirts? (I wear skirts a lot anyways, so not a problem, just curious).

2. Do Independent Baptists sometimes wear head coverings during prayer or otherwise?

3. Are Ind. Baptist church groups usually large (like Catholic) or small (like non-denom.)?

4. In your experience, do you believe they would have no problem with me attending alone, considering my age?

 

I understand that some people that are Ind. Baptist are more conservative than others, but I would love answers from personal experience/your own beliefs.

 

Thank you.

Was raised IFB.

 

1) yes, unless you are in an unusual one.

2) no, and you might get lectured if you do

3) generally small, but that depends on if they are the only IFB around or if there are several congregations in the area.

4) not sure what you mean exactly, but there would definitely be talk if you attended and your husband didn't. People would speculate on your husband's salvation, your marriage, etc. Hate to break it to you, but gossip has been rampant in the IFB churces I've been in. Same with the non-denominational ones I've been in. But that's just my experience ;) I'm sure someone will come on here and say otherwise.

 

Do your research (internet) on whichever church you are looking at. Each IFB is different. Some are related to some very controlling fringe people, others aren't.

Edited October 12, 2010 by mommaduck

[Kirch]

Thank you for sharing that bolded piece with me. I've been to a few large Catholic churches and always felt if I attended regularly I wouldn't feel connected.

 

The non-denominational church I grew up in was very small, about 20-40 members at a time. We would have loved more, but we usually never had more than 40 at a time. Towards the end, I didn't like all the gossiping and such, but I did like the closeness we had as a small church.

 

If you're looking at a large or even mid-sized church, you're going to want to look for one that works on creating community through small groups--Sunday school classes, life groups or other small group ministry, and/or ministries to get involved in to begin making connections. Even if a large church has strategies in place to help foster community, you're not going to feel connected unless you get involved--it's easy to "fall through the cracks." I may be wrong, but I don't *think* Catholic churches tend to have things like this (except for ministries, possibly), so it might be harder to make connections there.

[MamaSheep]

Thank you, I just got a book from the library called Handbook of the Denominations in the United States. Hopefully, they can help me weed out the different denominations that interest me and see what I would like most.

 

 

That sounds like an interesting book, I'd love to hear if you find it useful. I would be happy to answer any questions you have about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as you're reading about different groups.

 

I also kind of wanted to gently suggest that your reasons for wanting to find a church might also influence the way you go about searching. For example, if you are wanting a church mostly for social or cultural reasons it makes sense to look for one that you "like". If, on the other hand, you are wanting a church for spiritual reasons, might I gently suggest that you look for one that God wants for you. It's kind of a subtle difference in mind-set, but it can make a very big difference in where you end up.

[lionfamily1999]

It is interesting to see how things actually operate. I've always been interested in that sort of thing. How does the voting work at your church?

 

We vote at our church as well, though in our case it's a "common consent" vote rather than a majority rule sort of vote. What we vote on and how it gets to the point of being voted on is a little involved, but basically that means that for things like changes in staffing and ordinations, and a few other things, the leaders in charge of that particular area pray to learn God's will, and then when they've made a decision that decision is presented to the members of the church and each person votes as to whether they support or oppose the decision. However, rather than just going with the majority vote, it really only takes one opposing vote with a good reason to result in it not going through. What would happen if someone opposed is that the leaders would take that person aside afterward to hear their reasons for opposing the decision. Then they decide whether to proceed with things as originally intended, or go back and pray about it some more and see if God has something else in mind. Objections are fairly infrequent, but I've seen them happen, and I've seen the decisions go both ways. In the cases where I've known what the reasons for the objections were (usually they are kept confidential so as to protect privacy of the person(s) involved) I have agreed with the final decisions. Since I believe a church ought to be lead by God through revelation rather than by a man or group of men, I like this system of doing things. And during the times I've served in leadership positions I have experienced God's guidance in making decisions, so I fully believe it works the way it's supposed to.

I agree, that does seem like a very good way of doing things.

Anyway, as I say, I've always been interested in how churches work and what they teach, so I'd love to hear more about how the voting works in your church.

Well, I've only been involved in a few votes so far, but I'll use our search for a pastor for example. All together it took one year to find the man that God chose for us. First, we had to vote on what kind of interim pastor we wanted. A 'survey' was sent out to every member, filled out and returned into a box at church (allowing for privacy). It covered a variety of things and most wanted you to rate 1-10 on how important something was.

 

We ended up with a PHENOMENAL interim pastor. He was tough, he was stubborn and he made HUGE changes in our church. He walked us through the process of finding our pastor.

 

For big issues like this, the church asks for a two day (at least) fast. The deacons actually did a seven day fast that ended Sunday morning before service with a breakfast there. There was literature, what to pray for (insight, understanding, &tc) and there were daily prayer meetings. That lasted for a week, and then we had a meeting to vote on the Pastor Search Com. members. Someone would put another person forward and then they would need to be seconded. From there we collected the people we needed. There wasn't a real vote, more like a consensus without a vote, iykwIm.

 

Then we were asked to pray for those members while they started the big hunt.

 

After that were asked to fill out a 'Gifts' survey, a tithe promise card (that was burned, no one looked at it except for the person who filled it out). We spent the year studying Corinthians on Wednesdays (WONDERFUL), growing as a body, learning to rely on God for all things, and prayingprayingpraying. Finally, we all wrote 'Letters to Paul' discussing the issues in our church. It was interesting, our interim pastor led what was almost group therapy sessions.

 

Okay, there was a ton more, but finally we found a winner! Pastor S came one Sunday, gave a sermon and immediatly following all visitors or long visiting non-members were asked to leave the sanctuary. Cards were passed out by the deacons (bent to hide the votes) and we checked off yes or no. Then they went into the collection plates and everyone waited for the counting to get done. The results were announced with Pastor S present (all but two yes, one no, one abstained). Now, the reason the results are announced infront of the pastor is so that he can decide if the church is behind him enough for him to stay (we lost the interim pastor when the vote came back 80% for 20% against. 2/3 is what is needed in our church, but the interim pastor felt the vote was too negative for him to stay).

 

Uh..................... I may have gushed some, this is all very different for me (all the pastor led churches I attended growing up were VERY different).

Was raised IFB.

 

1) yes, unless you are in an unusual one.

2) no, and you might get lectured if you do

3) generally small, but that depends on if they are the only IFB around or if there are several congregations in the area.

4) not sure what you mean exactly, but there would definitely be talk if you attended and your husband didn't. People would speculate on your husband's salvation, your marriage, etc. Hate to break it to you, but gossip has been rampant in the IFB churces I've been in. Same with the non-denominational ones I've been in. But that's just my experience ;) I'm sure someone will come on here and say otherwise.

 

Do your research (internet) on whichever church you are looking at. Each IFB is different. Some are related to some very controlling fringe people, others aren't.

That's so different from my experience. I've attended one Baptist church that made me uncomfortable for my choice of clothing (nothing was said, but I felt out of place). I've never heard them chastise for head coverings, except young men and baseball caps :p and I've never heard anything disparaging about spouses that don't attend. Dh rarely attends church, no one speculates on our marraige and everyone is very kind to him.

 

As for gossip, that's rampant every where.

[Hunter's Moon]

That sounds like an interesting book, I'd love to hear if you find it useful. I would be happy to answer any questions you have about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, as you're reading about different groups.

 

I also kind of wanted to gently suggest that your reasons for wanting to find a church might also influence the way you go about searching. For example, if you are wanting a church mostly for social or cultural reasons it makes sense to look for one that you "like". If, on the other hand, you are wanting a church for spiritual reasons, might I gently suggest that you look for one that God wants for you. It's kind of a subtle difference in mind-set, but it can make a very big difference in where you end up.

 

That is very good advice.

I will definitely tell you how I liked the book and if I have any questions about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I'll make sure you hear them first :D

I want a church for the social part, sure. I would like to talk with others with my same beliefs and see how they live them daily. But, I've also been looking to the Bible to help me decide what Church God would want.

I understand that the Bible is interpreted differently so I can't just ask someone what Church they think the Bible would suggest because I know I'd get as many answers as there are denominations :lol:

I have been asking God to guide me in my decision as well.

Thank you :)

 

That's so different from my experience. I've attended one Baptist church that made me uncomfortable for my choice of clothing (nothing was said, but I felt out of place). I've never heard them chastise for head coverings, except young men and baseball caps :p and I've never heard anything disparaging about spouses that don't attend. Dh rarely attends church, no one speculates on our marraige and everyone is very kind to him.

 

As for gossip, that's rampant every where.

 

I would like to find a church that doesn't mind what I wear, but I am skirt wearing kind of gal anyways. Not for religious purposes, I just like feeling girly and how easily I can move in them. I also usually don't wear makeup.

 

The reason I brought up head coverings was because sometimes I wear headscarves that a lot of people mistake for a religious head covering. I've had people stop me a few times asking if I was Jewish or from Jerusalem because of the headscarves. I didn't think it would be an issue, I just didn't want to offend anyone at Church. I don't know how they felt about wearing anything on the head in the Church. I wear them for many reasons: They are comfortable to me, I have something to hide behind if I feel the need, I'm too lazy to tame my thick, wavy lion's mane :lol:

 

Thanks everyone. :)

[Brigitte]

I may be wrong, but I don't *think* Catholic churches tend to have things like this (except for ministries, possibly), so it might be harder to make connections there.

 

I hate to say it, but yes, you are wrong. As with all denominations, it will vary by church what they offer, but the Catholic Churches do indeed have groups outside of ministries within the parishes. Our church has a very strong youth group that is social as well as spiritual. We have various reading groups, women's groups, etc. and we are a relatively small parish. My mother's parish is huge and in a university town - you could occupy every day of the week with activities sponsored by the church. Of course, there are other parishes that offer very little outside of mass, but I think you will find that with any denomination.

[mommaduck]

That's so different from my experience. I've attended one Baptist church that made me uncomfortable for my choice of clothing (nothing was said, but I felt out of place). I've never heard them chastise for head coverings, except young men and baseball caps :p and I've never heard anything disparaging about spouses that don't attend. Dh rarely attends church, no one speculates on our marraige and everyone is very kind to him.

 

As for gossip, that's rampant every where.

 

That's partly why I suggested she check out each church individually. Not all IFB are alike. Some are more "Pensacola" and others are more "Hyles-Anderson". I've had one of my former pastor's wives lecture me. Acquaintances of mine had visited the same church at one time and they not only got nasty looks for her covering, but were told to "go to a mennonite church where it's accepted". I've been in some churches where gossip was rampant and in some where it wasn't.

[MamaSheep]

Well, I've only been involved in a few votes so far, but I'll use our search for a pastor for example. All together it took one year to find the man that God chose for us. First, we had to vote on what kind of interim pastor we wanted. A 'survey' was sent out to every member, filled out and returned into a box at church (allowing for privacy). It covered a variety of things and most wanted you to rate 1-10 on how important something was.

 

We ended up with a PHENOMENAL interim pastor. He was tough, he was stubborn and he made HUGE changes in our church. He walked us through the process of finding our pastor.

 

For big issues like this, the church asks for a two day (at least) fast. The deacons actually did a seven day fast that ended Sunday morning before service with a breakfast there. There was literature, what to pray for (insight, understanding, &tc) and there were daily prayer meetings. That lasted for a week, and then we had a meeting to vote on the Pastor Search Com. members. Someone would put another person forward and then they would need to be seconded. From there we collected the people we needed. There wasn't a real vote, more like a consensus without a vote, iykwIm.

 

Then we were asked to pray for those members while they started the big hunt.

 

After that were asked to fill out a 'Gifts' survey, a tithe promise card (that was burned, no one looked at it except for the person who filled it out). We spent the year studying Corinthians on Wednesdays (WONDERFUL), growing as a body, learning to rely on God for all things, and prayingprayingpraying. Finally, we all wrote 'Letters to Paul' discussing the issues in our church. It was interesting, our interim pastor led what was almost group therapy sessions.

 

Okay, there was a ton more, but finally we found a winner! Pastor S came one Sunday, gave a sermon and immediatly following all visitors or long visiting non-members were asked to leave the sanctuary. Cards were passed out by the deacons (bent to hide the votes) and we checked off yes or no. Then they went into the collection plates and everyone waited for the counting to get done. The results were announced with Pastor S present (all but two yes, one no, one abstained). Now, the reason the results are announced infront of the pastor is so that he can decide if the church is behind him enough for him to stay (we lost the interim pastor when the vote came back 80% for 20% against. 2/3 is what is needed in our church, but the interim pastor felt the vote was too negative for him to stay).

 

Uh..................... I may have gushed some, this is all very different for me (all the pastor led churches I attended growing up were VERY different).

 

 

Thanks so much for explaining this to me. I find it interesting, partly because it is so different from how things are done in my church. Now you have me wondering how a pastor led church works. But if we get too much into it we probably will need a new thread.

 

Part of the difference, I think, is due to the different functions an LDS bishop serves as compared to a Baptist pastor, even though both are leaders on a congregational level. A Baptist pastor does a whole lot of the ministry work himself, though he might have a staff depending on the size of the church, whereas in the LDS church it's spread out more amongst the members. A Baptist pastor also generally carries a high responsibility for interpreting and teaching scripture to his church members as well, wheras in the LDS church doctrine is more standardized and less open to interpretation by individual church leaders. In Baptist churches the pastor is generally paid, whereas in the LDS church bishop is never a paid position, so a Baptist congregation needs to come up with a salary for someone with a broad skill set and sufficient education to formulate and expound doctrine from scripture. An LDS bishop just needs to be a basically competent administrator and able to understand and apply already established doctrine to individual and local circumstances. And he has a lot of help with that. Also, a Baptist church will likely (hopefully) retain the same pastor for many years, whereas an LDS bishop usually serves only a few years before turning the job over to someone else.

 

Anyway...just random musings.

 

When we need a new bishop, the stake president (next rung up in the church heirarchy) considers the men in our ward (congregation) and in consultation with his counselors, as well as the out-going bishop, he interviews and prayerfully selects one of the men in the congregation to be the new bishop. The stake president submits the man's name to the president of the church for approval. Then, if he's approved, and if the man accepts the appointment, his name is presented before the congregation during church for a confirming vote. Assuming there are no reasonable objections, the change is made. It's more or less the same process that's used for a new Sunday school teacher or whatever, just up another step in church structure. And a new Sunday school teacher doesn't need approval from the church president.

Edited October 12, 2010 by MamaSheep

[lionfamily1999]

Mamaduck, that's disgusting and I am glad (and blessed) to have never seen that. I'm sorry you did.

 

 

 

 

Headcoverings, ime, *shrug* no one really cares. Some women in my church wear the greatest, most elaborate hats, but there are some that have worn scarves as part of their ensemble. They did push them back off their heads once they entered the sanctuary (although the lady hat wearers never remove theirs).

 

ETA, the bulletin board or message board of a church will tell you a lot of what you need to know. Be sure to check those out!

[MamaSheep]

That is very good advice.

I will definitely tell you how I liked the book and if I have any questions about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints I'll make sure you hear them first :D

I want a church for the social part, sure. I would like to talk with others with my same beliefs and see how they live them daily. But, I've also been looking to the Bible to help me decide what Church God would want.

I understand that the Bible is interpreted differently so I can't just ask someone what Church they think the Bible would suggest because I know I'd get as many answers as there are denominations :lol:

I have been asking God to guide me in my decision as well.

Thank you :)

 

 

Sounds like you're on the right track to me. :) I agree that there's a definite social aspect to church, but I'm glad you understand that's not the primary function.

 

Yes, I am sure you would get a huge pile of different answers if you asked everyone what church they thought the Bible would suggest (I bet you can guess what my answer would be...lol). I think you're right in consulting with God on that one. Interestingly, that's how our church got started--a teenager asking God which church to join. So no criticism from me on that one. :)

[dripdripsplat]

I don't have enough knowledge to answer your questions, but I do have something for you to mull around.

 

I didn't attend church growing up. After I got married, I became Lutheran, because my husband was. About two years ago, the Lord got my attention, and everything changed. We now attend a southern baptist church.

 

I can't tell you about different denominations, but I know enough to know this: Follow Christ. He will put you where He wants you. There are Catholics, Lutherans, Baptists, etc. who all love the Lord. Try some churches out. I was told that when you find where He wants you to be, He will let you know. I found it to be true.

 

The only title I like to hold is "Christian". I am His and He is mine. :)

 

AMEN! :iagree: wholeheartedly!

[HollyDay]

sorry....I read this "baptist demon" ..........got a good laugh.

 

me too!!!!:lol:

[VBoulden]

I used to attend a more conservative Southern Baptist church (very similar to Independent Baptist). My husband's family is Independent Baptist and he grew up in that denomination, so I will share what I have gathered over the years...

 

From what I can tell, Independent churches are "independent" in two ways: church leadership and missions.

 

What I mean by them being independent in "church leadership" is that the head pastor of a particular church "steers the ship." His interpretations of the Bible and/or preferences influence that church (and influence the specific answers to many of the questions you asked).

 

If he takes the verse that says that woman should not wear "...anything that pertains to a man..." and preaches that he thinks that means women should only wear skirts, then women in that church probably only wear skirts...

 

If he interprets the verse as meaning women shouldn't dress in men's clothing, then women in that church are probably "allowed" to wear feminine looking slacks.

 

Because of the influence pastor's have, independent churches can vary widely from church to church and the same church can even change from old pastor to new pastor. But, in general, a pastor's interpretations generally fall in line with what is accepted among most other independent baptist churches teachings on things, so people can go from one independent church to another and get basically the same teachings, know what to expect, etc...

 

For example, I think it is rare that independent baptists would mandate women wear head coverings... unless their pastor felt strongly that it was the correct Biblical interpretation of "every woman that prays with her head uncovered dishonors her head" but it is generally accepted among independent churches that women should grow their hair long and that's their "covering." :001_smile:

 

Another thing that practically distinguishes them from other baptist churches (like Southern baptists, for example) is the fact that their missionaries raise money by traveling from church to church to church and getting pledges. They then use the money they have raised to go on mission until they have to come home on "furlough" and raise more money again. Southern baptists, also baptist churches who also look to the head pastor for Biblical interpretations, etc. would differ in the sense that they usually send funds to a central "convention" for mission work and that convention sends out missionaries so that their denomination's missionaries do not have to spend a year or more fund raising.

 

Hope some of that helps. :001_smile:

Edited October 13, 2010 by VBoulden

[wapiti]

I hate to say it, but yes, you are wrong. As with all denominations, it will vary by church what they offer, but the Catholic Churches do indeed have groups outside of ministries within the parishes. Our church has a very strong youth group that is social as well as spiritual. We have various reading groups, women's groups, etc. and we are a relatively small parish. My mother's parish is huge and in a university town - you could occupy every day of the week with activities sponsored by the church. Of course, there are other parishes that offer very little outside of mass, but I think you will find that with any denomination.

 

:iagree: You may be able to find out this info about a particular church/parish simply by looking at their website, depending on how developed the website is.