Anyone who has ever switched religions or anyone who would like to share theirs.

[Hunter's Moon]

I grew up all my life believing in God.

 

I went to Church from 5-13. I went fewer and fewer times from 12-13 years old and eventually stopped going. My parents would love me to be Christian, I just don't really know.

 

My parents stopped going to church when I was about 13 or 14. They never went back.

 

My mother still wants me to be Christian and one day I told her I didn't know if I believed in God. She nearly had a heart attack. I tried to believe for her but I just can't.

 

Exploring other religions and beliefs has been weighing on my mind for awhile now.

 

I would just really love stories about people switching from Christianity (or any religion) and going to another. How they dealt with the differences, the objections from loved ones, and why they chose that certain religion.

 

FWIW, this isn't a teenage rebellion stage. There are many things going on in my life that have me doubting and have had me doubting for well over a year and a half. I would appreciate any support and encouragement because this is a really scary thing for me. But, I know I need to do it for myself. I need something to believe in, whether it be a god or myself.

 

Thank you.

 

**I don't mean this to be a debate. I would just like stories of religion switches and I am deeply and truly sorry if anything I have said offended anyone. That is not my intention at all. I respect and admire those who are confident in their religion and beliefs, no matter what they are.

[Momling]

I flirted with various religions as a teenager, but didn't have the resources or dedication to follow through. I think it was appealing because I went to a pretty hard-core fundamentalist Christian school. As a kid, I continuously got the message that there was "only one way" to be a Christian -- and I had been told by my teachers that I was possessed and that I was going to h.ell. So I think it was kind of natural to look for alternatives. In the end, I needed to find a place for myself within Christianity -- and I eventually did.

 

So in your shoes, I'd do a lot of reading. Try books like "Who needs God" by Harold Kushner. You might look into the Unitarian (UU) church as a denomination that is open to a variety of faiths.

Edited August 2, 2010 by Momling

[Nakia]

 

**I don't mean this to be a debate. I would just like stories of religion switches and I am deeply and truly sorry if anything I have said offended anyone. That is not my intention at all. I respect and admire those who are confident in their religion and beliefs, no matter what they are.

 

I'm a Christian, but I just wanted to let you know I think your post if really respectful, and I hope you find your answers. :grouphug:

[Hunter's Moon]

I flirted with various religions as a teenager, but didn't have the resources or dedication to follow through. I think it was appealing because I went to a pretty hard-core fundamentalist Christian school. As a kid, I continuously got the message that there was "only way" to be a Christian -- and I had been told by my teachers that I was possessed and that I was going to h.ell. So I think it was kind of natural to look for alternatives. In the end, I needed to find a place for myself within Christianity -- and I eventually did.

 

So in your shoes, I'd do a lot of reading. Try books like "Who needs God" by Harold Kushner. You might look into the Unitarian (UU) church as a denomination that is open to a variety of faiths.

 

Thank you. I will look into that.

 

I'm a Christian, but I just wanted to let you know I think your post if really respectful, and I hope you find your answers. :grouphug:

 

I am relieved to hear that.

 

And thank you :)

[dragons in the flower bed]

I am PMing you with my stories.

[keptwoman]

I grew up in the church with very strong Christian parents. In my late teens I began to doubt, I went back to the church for a year or so in my early 20's but it's not for me. I no longer believe in the Christian god at all, I'm fairly much atheist. My parents were very upset that I had left the faith, I know they prayed a lot for me, but it was my Mums death only 4 years after my Dad's death that was the death knoll for my belief.

 

I know the line when people "backslid" was always that they would be more at peace back in the fold (even if they didn't admit that), well for me that is not the case. I am far more at peace now than I ever was in the church. The only thing I miss is the music and ritual, but I'm not going back just for that.

 

I think that spirituality is personal, everyone needs to find their own path, for some that will follow their parents and for many, it won't.

[hazilsara]

Alright, so a story...this may not be exactly what you asked for, but I'll share, anyway!

 

I grew up with my mother being strongly aethist, and my father being raised strong Lutheran, but not practicing because of my mother. So I was taught to decide for myself.

 

I tried going to several churches with my friends as a teenager, but was uncomfortable with the implication that some religions were "satan worshipers", when I knew they weren't, and that some people I knew would go to hell--these ideas did not fit with what I felt was true.

 

As I've grown up, I was mostly agnostic, until several years ago a good motherly-friend convinced me to convert to Mormanism. The main "selling points" for me were their strong sense of community with each other, and their focus on Charitable Service. These made sense to me! I learned to have a little more faith in my faith so to speak...but eventually left that church, too.

 

I have looked into a lot of religions, everything from wiccan to muslim, to ba hai; the thing that has drawn me most to any religion are those that assert that no one religion is absolutely correct, especially if it says the other religions are absolutely wrong and it's followers are going to hell. On the other hand, as I said, one of the things that I find important in a faith, is having a strong community. So I have found a bit of a middle ground. We are Christian in our general beliefs: God the Father, Sunday church with fellowship suppers, all that! (This way we have a large, strong religious family to belong to.) But I also listen to my heart! My family practices Charitable Service as much as possible--trying to actually BE kind and forgiving, not just saying the words on Sundays like many of those I grew up with! And we discuss a LOVING God who is tolerant of other religions and ways of life...we believe that it's possible that God appeared to all the peoples of the world as those peoples would most easily accept Him! (so all the main religions still worship the same God, just a different "aspect" of Him)

 

Overall, I want to commend you for having the strength to decide for yourself what you believe! That is a very personal choice, and many people don't ever make it--they just follow the path they were set upon! And, keep in mind, this may also be a life long journey of learning and contemplating!! Of changing your ideas and beliefs as you see things differently or learn new things! Since you've made the choice to investigate now, don't get stuck in one line of thinking and decide you're "done".

 

Good Luck! God Bless, and Blessed Be!!!

[elfgivas]

you might want to listen to sam harris' TED lecture. its on line, free and thought provoking.

 

all who wander are not lost...

ann

[Rosie_0801]

I was supposed to turn out Christian too :) I went to Sunday school for most of my childhood. Dad is agnostic but thought Sunday school was good for us, or at least not going to do any harm. Mum is Christian in a very quiet, solitary way. She taught us that religion is a private matter, and unfortunately (for her, I guess) that worked against her wish that I'd turn out Christian. I went with a friend to a church youth group in year 8, for a few months, but they were all so serious! Perhaps if it'd been more liberal or light hearted, I might have stuck around longer. It was that year I started to move away from Christianity, though. I gradually built up alternative beliefs to the issues I had with Christianity. I don't remember if that was influenced by reading or not. I suppose it must have been. I'd always been interested in religions so I'd always read books about it. I do remember moving from the junior non-fiction to the easier adult non-fiction books on this topic during high school.

 

When I had finished school and was working, I did some short courses at the adult ed centre, just to keep the brain ticking over. I attended a four week course on World Religions and was surprised to find there was a name for what I thought! So I followed the recommended reading- The Tao of Pooh, and happily called myself a Western Taoist for quite a few years. Mum was not pleased, but accepted my decision because I had researched and thought about it carefully; but forbid me to discuss religion with my siblings. So I didn't until they'd grown up and moved out of home. They weren't very impressed to find out that Mum had forbidden those sorts of conversations, but it didn't really matter once they left home so no one threw a hissy fit over it :) I've not really discussed religion a whole lot with my sister, apart from some concern, but that's more about her relationship than her religion. My brother and I chat about it due to a shared interest in the topic. Dh and I have always discussed religion because it's his idea of small talk! Weird guy :) Since I come from a culture of people minding their business about religion, that was the extent of the conflict.

 

It was a couple of years ago that I started thinking about season based stuff, so I read up on Paganism for more information on what others with those sorts thoughts actually do with them. I didn't find much useful information, but I became more informed on what type of beliefs and practices fell under that banner. Having kids inspired me a bit on that score, because if we were going to toss Santa and not even bother with Easter, what exactly were we going to do? My eldest is three, and not particularly aware of those things, but will become so over the next year, so I want to have a sort of skeleton framework of our yearly observances worked out. Then we'll add to it or adapt it as we, as a family, choose which direction we're going. But I think that is less about religion than about the organisation of time. Maybe. I'm not sure. There is definitely a spiritual element for me. I don't think there is for dh, but he likes little rituals. The kids, of course, are too young to be anything but spiritual potential. (And yes, I know people in other situations would say their little-uns are spiritual in their own right, but mine aren't.) The interest in season based stuff comes from my thoughts that people work so hard to keep everything tidy and constant, and I think that winds up depressing people. I'm inspired by the painting of the Vinegar Tasters. Vinegar is supposed to taste like vinegar; autumn leaves are not messy, that is what autumn is supposed to look like. Don't waste your Saturdays raking up the leaves to make the place tidy, unless you want them for your compost heap!

 

My life story :D

 

You are a good thing to believe in, whether you stay with a belief in God or not :)

 

When you've digested this thread, it might help to start another on who or what people's deities or deity equivalents are. I imagine it would toss up some different ideas for you to consider.

 

Rosie

[Gooblink]

I appreciate what you're going through and had a very long post composed which I then decided to not post. :) Suffice to say...my spiritual journey started with family practice of the occult in my early years, attending a church of the "frozen chosen" for my teen years, dabbling in something called eckenkar when I was 18-19, rejecting God altogether in my college years, reading the Bible for education in my 20's and realizing that I'd been confusing the behavior of so-called Christians with the person and gospel of Christ.

 

Where I am now?

 

One of my all time favorite Christian philosophers, C.S. Lewis, summed it up, beautifully: "I believe in Christianity as I believe the sun rises. Not only because I see it, but by it I see everything else."

 

:) IMO, we often call ourselves seekers when, really, we're fleeing from God. It's OK, He's got us covered. You'll know when you know.

[freethinkermama]

I'll try to pm you soon. :)

 

I went from non-religious childhood > to religious upbringing by friends' families > to born again experience in teens > missionary and Evangelical Christian for years > very happy paganish atheist.

 

There is joy in finding your own path. And you'll know your path by the sense of contentment you find there.

[Hunter's Moon]

Thank you everyone for all the kind words, support, and personal stories.

 

I really appreciate it all.

[Joanne]

I grew up Christian and active in a liberal, mainline church. My belief for a long time was that I believed my MOM believed. Eventually, I believed in God but never developed a relationship with him.

 

I got sober in 1991, developed a relationship with God and returned to a mainline, liberal Christian church when my first child was born.

 

Over the years, I have *studied* several non Christian religions, and dabbled around. I personally returned to Christianity. I believe in the conception, life, death and resurrection of Jesus. I don't necessarily believe in the exclusionary doctrine of any religion, including Christianity, that has one. I've seen God work in too many lives in 19 years of AA to feel comfortable with exclusionary doctrine.

 

I am a *personal* Christian, and that's quite possibly influenced by the culture of my country and background.

 

It might interest you to know that "conservative" is not the only way to be a Christian. I answered a recent thread about a teen's questions:

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?p=1913587#post1913587

[Leav97]

I grew up ELCA Lutheran. Went to church every Sunday. Spent a week at bible camp every summer. Stopped attending church the second I moved out of my parents house.

 

I've attended a couple of Christan churches over the last 15 years. I'm an atheist and now attend a UU church. I like the community. I do miss some of the ritual but, can't in good contentious attend a Christan service or bring my DD and DS. I will still attend my Mom's church when I'm home but that has to do with honoring my mother.

[MorganClassicalPrep]

I was raised not religious. Went to AWANAs with friends from the neighborhood and sometimes went to church with them, but never once saw my parents in church. I spent my teenage years reading about and researching all different religions. Different forms of Christianity, different forms of Paganism, various Asian religions. After having my daughter (and a long, long path there) I was baptised in the Catholic Church, and have since lapsed.

 

I consider myself Catholic. I love the Catholic Church and haven't been able to go to any others because it just doesn't feel like "home", but I have issues with some of the Catholic doctrines and haven't figured out how to balance that with raising a child. I find that I cannot take her to a church that teaches something I am against. At the same time, I feel a desperate need to go back to Church. :confused: Some now I'm back to square one, not sure of where I am in the spiritual scheme of things.

 

Anyways... I think the important thing is finding the right fit for YOU. It is going to be tough to buck the tradition of your family (and friends?). When I was baptised my parents were upset, because they are "Baptist". huh? I repeat.. I have NEVER seen them in a Church, except to see my daughter baptised. However, I've also found that most people will get over it. Of course there are the people who will always hassle you, but if you can find a religion that gives you peace, you will be in a place to handle it.

 

Until you feel more secure in your decisions, keep it to yourself. You need to be able to defend yourself rationally, and when you are still questioning people will assume you can be swayed to their side and argue a lot harder than if you can say "This is what I believe, this is why I believe it, and I can't be changed"

 

Oh... and good for you for finding your own path! It's hard to walk away from certain expectations, but you will be happier in the long run.

:grouphug:

[Gooblink]

Over the years, I have *studied* several non Christian religions, and dabbled around. I personally returned to Christianity. I believe in the conception, life, death and resurrection of Jesus. I don't necessarily believe in the exclusionary doctrine of any religion, including Christianity, that has one. I've seen God work in too many lives in 19 years of AA to feel comfortable with exclusionary doctrine.

 

I believe this, at this point in my walk, as well.

[Rivka]

I grew up in a liberal mainline Protestant church (Congregationalist/UCC) and had a wonderful experience there. I enjoyed church and Sunday School and benefited from relationships with many great adults who lived their faith. My whole family was deeply involved in church life and religion was discussed and practiced at home as well. I continued to attend a UCC church off and on in college. I especially appreciated my church's focus on social justice work.

 

If I had married someone who was also UCC/liberal Christian, I would probably still have that religious identity today. Instead, I married a recovering former Southern Baptist who had such terrible experiences with religion that he was not willing to consider going to a Christian church. He was a Unitarian-Universalist.

 

It was important to me that we go to church together, so we both went to the UU church. In a UU church there is no creed or specific set of beliefs; people support each other's faith, knowing that we may wind up walking different religious paths. So it was a good match for a mixed couple. I still identified as a Christian and took part in a Christian group at my church which had Bible study and celebrated Communion.

 

Eventually, though, my Christian identity sort of fell away as my UU identity became stronger. I found that I just became too uncomfortable with the exclusiveness of Christianity. Liberal Christian teachings still have resonance for me, and I direct the Christmas pageant at my church and am comfortable discussing Jesus with my daughter. But I now identify as straight-up UU, no longer as Christian UU. I am very happy in my faith and our family are deeply involved in our church community.

[milovany]

It felt like changing religions to us -- over the last year and a half we converted from western evangelical/charismatic Christianity (which is all we knew anything about, really) to the ancient eastern Orthodox church. At times we found us asking ourselves, "Are we crazy?!?!" It seemed so shocking to our entire systems that we were entertaining the idea of changing to something almost completely foreign to us. We pressed forward and the Lord is revealing himself in an entirely real way.

 

I was speaking with a gal at church this morning -- she was raised Baptist by a good, Baptist family. She went to a Christian middle school and then totally rebelled when she got to high school. She said she was tired of a religion that was talk but not walk; one that didn't become a LIFE, an entire life. We so related to that. Over the next years she tried many different (non-Christian) religions, looking and searching for that "something real." At one point because of her interest in the eastern mindset, she started attending an Orthodox church and over time found what she'd been longing for.

 

If your background is Protestant Christianity, perhaps you would be interested in a tradition far different from that -- but still Christianity. May you find the fullness of God on your journey.

Edited August 2, 2010 by milovaný

[texasmama]

Hi Stephanie. Your post was very respectful.:001_smile: You are wise to ask questions and ponder your beliefs.

 

I grew up in a protestant church as a Christian. In my early college years, I went through a period of examining my faith. In order to understand what I believed, I had to toss out what I had been taught and start from scratch. This scared my friends and relatives quite a lot. However, it was necessary for me to come to what I believe and have it be MINE, not simply borrowed from my parents or church or friends. I came back around to the same Christian beliefs, but it took a bit of time. The beliefs are mine now. The relationship with Christ is mine now. I am so grateful for the experience of making it so. I wish you the best on your seeking journey.:grouphug:

[....]

I grew up in a strict Southern Baptist household. By 17, I was an atheist.

 

I traveled to Israel in my early 20's and brought back a souvenir :tongue_smilie:. You can't travel through Old Jerusalem and tell me that God is just a fairy tale. There were so many people praying there, it seemed like the buildings were vibrating - especially the Wailing Wall area. People would just walk up to the Wall and start crying. It was incredible to watch.

 

Good luck with your search! :D

[creekland]

My mom is agnostic or maybe atheist. I became a Christian after a bit of soul (and religion) searching in high school and even more in college (secular U). I think many people, if not all, go through a time of figuring out what, or if, they believe when they are in their later teens or older. Many come to different conclusions based on their thoughts, reasoning and/or inner "spirit." You need to decide for you. No one else can.

 

My mom is still agnostic or atheist and we get along just fine. A big key is being tolerant. If we want the right to worship our God as we see fit (or any other conclusion), we need to give others the same respect. Granted, not all feel that way, but the world would be a better place if they did. I am responsible for me before God - and my kids when they are young. Once they are older, they are responsible for themselves. I take no offense when others choose different paths. God is the one who judges.

[Melinda in VT]

I grew up Mormon, left Mormonism at 30, and now hang out on the far liberal edges of Christianity. Recently I've been intrigued by the little I know about earth-based Paganism, although I haven't done more to explore that other than contemplate buying a book or two.

 

Changing religions was hard, but very empowering, and absolutely the right step for me at that time.

 

I have a book recommendation: http://www.amazon.com/Finding-Your-Religion-Faith-Meaning/dp/0060653469/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1280750548&sr=8-1. There are a lot of personal stories in the book. Some people made pretty drastic changes. Others ending up returning to their childhood religion, but with new insights.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

nm

[Skadi]

I was raised Christian but grew up to be an atheist. You might want to check out some books on the subject. From the atheist or agnostic perspective, I'd recommend How We Believe: Science, Skepticism and the Search for God, The God Delusion and A Mind of Its Own: How the Brain Distorts and Deceives.

Edited August 2, 2010 by Skadi

[lovedbyGod]

Well done for being honest! I grew up with a church-going mom and agnostic dad and was bored stiff with church by the end of high school but felt guilty about not going. I believed all the world's religions to be more or less equivalent anyway. Then I started reading the gospels (esp Luke and John) with an *open mind* and realized I couldn't believe that (all religions equivalent) and still claim to believe the Bible. (I later learned that even Bertrand Russell, famous atheist philosopher who wrote "Why I Am Not A Christian", acknowledged this.) And in reading the Bible I realized I did believe what I was reading.

 

I absolutely agree that there is (sadly) a big different between Jesus and a lot of his followers!!

[Hunter's Moon]

Thank you everyone!

 

I definitely am keeping an open mind with all religions, including Christianity.

 

I have been studying the Bible for some time now. Even if I decide not to be Christian, I think it is still important to know what I grew up with.

 

Thanks, agaiN!!

[Teachin'Mine]

I just thought I'd share today's message from Our Lady of Medjugorje. :)

 

"On the 2nd of each month, Our Lady appears to the visionary Mirjana Soldo and gives her a message for the unbelievers of the world, or, as she calls them, "those who do not know the love of God."

 

Today, August 2nd, 2010, Our Lady gave the following message:

 

"Dear children! Today I call you, together with me, to begin to build the Kingdom of Heaven in your hearts; that you may forget that what is personal and – led by the example of my Son – think of what is of God. What does He desire of you? Do not permit Satan to open the paths of earthly happiness, the paths without my Son. My children, they are false and last a short while. My Son exists. I offer you eternal happiness and peace and unity with my Son, with God; I offer you the Kingdom of God. Thank you."

 

Keep searching, and make prayer part of your search. You don't have to believe to pray. Pray to know what to believe. :)

[elise1mds]

I still feel like I'm searching sometimes, too. Part of that is that I still feel guilt that I do not believe the way I was told to believe as a child. My mother is Lutheran, and my father is Catholic. I was baptised as a Catholic but my father never took us to Mass, so my mother took us to her church. We went to church every week, whether we wanted to or not. As a teen, I despised the people in the church we attended and began to rebel, but my mother literally dragged me with her. I can't say anything would be different if she had let me go my own path, but it definitely made me question things more strongly to be around these people who were so clearly not living a Christian life and yet were supposed to be a Christian youth group.

 

Ironically, after I got married, my mother independently discovered the same thing about the church and left and now considers herself a Seventh-Day Adventist. My father is no longer a practicing Catholic, either.

 

Anyway, I have been questioning my religion ever since. At this point I pretty well know my own mind, but telling my family is a whole different road to walk down. I'm just happy to be at peace with what I believe and hope some day to be able to voice it out loud. Good luck on your own journey!

[....]

I still feel like I'm searching sometimes, too. Part of that is that I still feel guilt that I do not believe the way I was told to believe as a child. My mother is Lutheran, and my father is Catholic. I was baptised as a Catholic but my father never took us to Mass, so my mother took us to her church. We went to church every week, whether we wanted to or not. As a teen, I despised the people in the church we attended and began to rebel, but my mother literally dragged me with her. I can't say anything would be different if she had let me go my own path, but it definitely made me question things more strongly to be around these people who were so clearly not living a Christian life and yet were supposed to be a Christian youth group.

 

 

Oh, yeah. I've always said the biggest threat to Christianity is churches themselves - and it doesn't matter WHAT denomination they are...:glare:

 

I tell people that I just go for the service, I don't want to talk to anyone, I don't want to become a volunteer for anything, I just want to attend service and not be involved. I've got some massive horror stories under my belt from my childhood.

[elegantlion]

My parents are both Christian, but my dad didn't attend church. As a child we attended a church with my mom and sister. It turned into a bad experience as my mother was gossiped about incessantly because she attended church without her husband. We also rode the church bus (my mom didn't drive). She put up with a lot of carp so we could attend. I HATED the Sunday school, it was loud, obnoxious, I wasn't a morning person (still aren't). Finally we left that church and I vowed never to attend another church of that denomination (which shall remain nameless).

 

My teens years I talked to God a lot. My mom, sister, and I tried a few other churches, but nothing ever felt right. I still talked to God.

 

Fast forward, got married, dh and I decided to start over with religion. We had a couple of good experiences in another denomination. We moved and found the "perfect" church. We stayed in that church for five years, had some good times, bad times, made friends. Then we moved and after that we found out some things about that church that stemmed from the leadership that were terrible. I had been super involved in that church, teaching, on the worship team, but the things I found out that went on behind the scenes made me ill. This has all been within the last few years. So another BAD experience with religion. Still lovin' God, working on loving other people. :glare:

 

So we're in a conundrum. I have a sour taste for organized christian religion and think God would be very disappointed at some of the attitudes and events I've witnessed in a "church" setting. We are gearing up to move again soon and I promised dh we would try to find another church once we moved. I have no idea what denomination.

 

As far as other religions, I have started on a quest to understand them for myself. I've sat in a congregation and listened to pastors denounce other religions using their own material. However, Christians can't even agree on interpretation of our own scriptures. I feel I can no longer take my religious education from someone who is not of that faith, too much information can get misrepresented.

[Peela]

The way I saw it from quite young (vaguley Christian mother, atheist father, Christian Girls School) and still see it is that the absolute Truth of reality doesn't need to be believed, because it is the Truth whether it is believed or not. 'Cos that's what truth is. It is what is, not what is believed. So I went on a search for the truth I didn't need to take on faith, but that I could see for myself.

Other religions such as Buddhism ask you to look for yourself. They dont ask you to believe, and then make you feel guilty if you just can't. I dont know much about Quakers but I have been reading a little about them lately...I like their approach too- it is about your own experience and connection, not external authorities and tkaing things on belief.

I personally feel that ALL religions are various flavours and ways of approaching the ultimate Truth of reality. So...I would follow your own intuition and find what RESONATES in your own heart- because in the end, our heart is our best guide (not necessarily our emotions). Because if your childhood religion doesnt resonate, it's not true for you, and until you find what truly resonates for you...you can't be at peace in your own spirituality.

And I don't believe you need a structured religion at all...but it can be a good place to open your mind and heart.

As for guilt about your family etc....well, on your deathbed, do you want to feel you never took the chance to find out what was true for you in your own experience, what resonates for you? Do you want to live on other peoples' beliefs till you die and never feel comfortable with them? Or, will you really regret not making your mother happy and sacrifice your own deepest core- your spirituality- for her?

I dont believe we were put here to then be punished for not "getting it right" and believing the wrong thing! Its not a test. It is a learning place but everyone who doesnt find their way to Christianity is not somehow mistaken and going somewhere bad when they die. That is just ludicrous. Life is full of mystery and so much variety because life is life- beautiful, infinite, creative....and it doesn't make mistakes.

[Geek]

I was raised by a very devout Christian mother and agnostic father. My father mostly kept things to himself until I was a bit older, but I already had a lot of questions all on my own that my mother couldn't answer. She told me that thinking too much would get me into trouble spiritually (in so many words!)

 

I began seriously doubting the Christian god at age 10 when I asked my mother, "Do you mean to tell me--seriously--that if a man in China doesn't accept Jesus before he dies, he'll wind up being tormented f-o-r-e-v-e-r?" When she said, "Yes", I decided right then and there that there were some justice and kindness issues in Christianity.

 

As an acquaintance on another forum said, "If you could be content to live in heaven knowing there were people in hell, you don't deserve to be in heaven in the first place."

 

BUT--I went through the born again experience and tried to believe, even convincing myself that I did believe. It felt real, you know? But I was still intellectually unsatisfied.

 

So I looked into other religions as a young adult and found a home in the Catholic church. I tried to be a good Catholic, and my mother eventually came to grips with my conversion and thought of me as a "real" Christian.

 

But my doubts and skepticism and unanswered questions didn't go anywhere. In fact, there were more questions. And more.

 

Three years ago I started down a path of actively seeking for answers, because I reached a point of where I wanted the truth no matter what it looked like. I was more afraid of living a lie than I was of discovering anything that might rock my world. I decided that if the belief I professed was worth its weight in salt, it would be able to withstand it. I wanted to see what was left, and that would be what I believed in.

 

Well, that pile of remaining beliefs steadily shrank until it was pretty much gone. I no longer believe in the Christian god at all and have a lot of reasons for that. I have found more peace in viewing my life through a godless lens than I ever did when viewing it through a religious lens.

 

As far as "coming out" to family and friends, I haven't. Those closest to me know or have figured it out, but my own dear mother -- well, it would break her heart and I don't have it in me to do that to her. I won't lie to her, but I am good at deflection and changing the subject. If she ever comes right out and asks me--which I doubt she'll do because she is really good at not seeing what she doesn't want to see--I'll tell her then.

 

My own kids have questioned for a long time despite still attending church, learning all the prayers, and even being taught bedtime prayers from my husband. The difference from my own upbringing, though, is that I don't deflect them. I prize critical thinking and my mantra for them has long been, "Ask yourself, 'Does that make sense? Why or why not? How do I know?'" (You know you're committed to that stance as a parent when they turn the tables on your parenting choices and ask those questions. I want them to do that. I don't want them to "just follow" anything arbitrarily. Why on earth would I want to train them to check their brain at the door?)

 

If you give your kids a wide berth for questioning religion and god's existence, sometimes they'll come up with a lot of excellent reasoning all by themselves. Here are some examples of things said at various ages:

 

10yo at mass: "How do we know that any of this is real and that we aren't just doing this because our ancestors did it?"

 

7yo when pondering the idea that most believe that God is "outside the universe": "Mommy, what does 'universe' mean?" <Receives my answer that it's simply everything that exists> "Well, then how can God be outside of everything? That's like saying infinity + 1 and that's just stupid."

 

5yo while looking at an Usborne science book: "If God really made the urf, then who made God? Another God? That's like a circle, Mommy."

[Geek]

 

I dont believe we were put here to then be punished for not "getting it right" and believing the wrong thing! Its not a test. It is a learning place but everyone who doesnt find their way to Christianity is not somehow mistaken and going somewhere bad when they die. That is just ludicrous.

It's not only ludicrous, it's hateful and manipulative.

[ourjourneys]

:iagree: manipulative