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Please tell me I'm a good mommy even though dd thinks I'm not


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We're sick. Dd was sent home halfway through gymnastics on Monday with a fever (we had no idea she was coming down with something). It is Friday and she still has a low fever in the afternoons. And is coughing and sniffling. It is getting much better. She had to miss gymnastics on Wed. I warned her that the way it was going she was probably going to miss today too. But she just did not want to believe me. She's dressed in her leo ready to go . . . with a temp. of 99.3. I gently told her "No" because I hate to disappoint her. I held her while she cried. Sent her to her room to cry when she wouldn't stop (and I had to prepare lunch). She's not crying anymore but she won't look at me. I'm correct in keeping her home, right? (My intellect tells me I am. Did I mention that despite being a rather 'mean' mom, that I hate to disappoint my kids?) Sigh. I need a hug but dh won't come near me because he's the only healthy one in the family!

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Is that 99.3 on an ear thermometer? If so, I probably wouldn't trust it. Mine regularly tells me I'm 99.x when I'm perfectly healthy (though I may have eaten recently). Regardless, though, you're a good mommy! If you truly believe she's still sick/contagious, of course you're right to keep her home. Better safe than sorry, always. And the parents of her gym mates will thank you for it.

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You're a good mom! And all the other mom's would think so as well b/c I'm sure they wouldn't be happy if their kids got sick! My ds (6) uses that on me more then I like, to get his way. Don't let it get to you, you know she loves you, she's just not getting her way right now.

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Is that 99.3 on an ear thermometer? If so, I probably wouldn't trust it. Mine regularly tells me I'm 99.x when I'm perfectly healthy (though I may have eaten recently). Regardless, though, you're a good mommy! If you truly believe she's still sick/contagious, of course you're right to keep her home. Better safe than sorry, always. And the parents of her gym mates will thank you for it.

 

Oral digital thermometer.

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You are a great mom, and mothers of medically fragile children thank you. :grouphug:

 

:iagree: I keep the kids home for stuff like that now. One of my medically fragile children has a fever today so we didn't go to the pool. They are all mad at me but I let them watch movies and have an ice cream instead, so we are all okay now. :D

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As another gymnastics mom, I think you made an excellent decision, although I can thoroughly sympathize with your daughter's disappointment and with your own feelings about having to make the decision. With so much close contact and sharing of equipment, it's easy to spread germs at gymnastics. I always appreciate it when other parents keep their sick children away until they're certain they are no longer contagious. Also, even though your dd may have felt that she could go, would she have had the stamina for a several-hours-long gymnastics practice after being sick all week? I know it's tough, though. I have a dd who loves to go, go, go. Anything that keeps her from doing an activity she loves or going somewhere is major to her.

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Of course you're a good mom!

And if your dd has been sick all week, she's just not going to be able to see the logic right now, but she will when she feels better (and when she hears her friends mom's thank you for keeping her home!)

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I have triplets who catch EVERYTHING due to some issues related to premature birth. If a sick person is within 50 yards of them, they are going to catch it, no question. I'm not going to keep them at home all the time just to prevent sickness, so we sign up for a lot of activities and miss A LOT. If more people would be considerate like you and stay home when they were sick, kids like mine would get to participate a lot more and be sick a lot less! Germs are one thing it's great to be selfish with!

 

I know the other gymnasts' parents are appreciative.

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It's not just how high her temp is but if she's feeling back to normal. I think it's always the hardest to stay home when you are almost well. I think you did the right thing. You wouldn't want her to pick up something new today!

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I think you are seeing now that a goodly portion of her being so upset likely has to do with still being sick, so that should also help you feel better. I'm the same way and get the same response from my daughter, but I don't want to be responsible for taking out the entire (swim team, aikido dojo, Sunday School class right before the holiday play, etc) when it isn't absolutely critical (and it rarely is).

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Well, the part that made her so very upset (and made me feel extra badly) is that this is the last month we can afford to have her in gymnastics. So here she is trying to get the most out of her last month and she gets sick. We'll be able to make up one of her sick days but I don't think we'll get to make up the others.

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You're a good mommy. :)

 

Another aspect of this--you're training her to do the right thing when she's making these decisions for herself. I was not taught this and for years refused to stay home if I really wanted to go somewhere or felt like I was needed. I infected a lot of people because of it--once an entire Christmas party of people were sick on Christmas because I "couldn't miss it". :P Much better for her to learn this lesson now.

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You are a good mom. When my older kids were young I used to tell them that I wasn't in mothering as a personality contest. I do what I feel is right not what is popular.

:grouphug: She will get past it and be in love with you again soon.:grouphug:

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Agreeing with the others that especially in gymnastics (where disease spreads quickly) it is always wise to be conservative. Aside from the obvious concern (I HATE when sick kids come to the gym and then entire squads of girls get sick like dominos..) I'm always concerned about injury. A gymnast not feeling up to par is a danger to herself. Balance, timing and general awareness of space are all altered when one is not feeling well. GOOD FOR YOU! It's hard to be the mean mom but GOOD CALL!!!!

PS Qualifying to say that being sick for a Meet invokes a different set of standards

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It's 15 min. after gymnastics started and she is so sick right now. She told me that she now understands why I kept her home. My poor baby. Off to find her some more medicine.

 

Sometimes it really stinks to be right.

 

Well, the part that made her so very upset (and made me feel extra badly) is that this is the last month we can afford to have her in gymnastics. So here she is trying to get the most out of her last month and she gets sick. We'll be able to make up one of her sick days but I don't think we'll get to make up the others.

 

:grouphug::grouphug: One for you and one for her.

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Hon, when my children tell me that they hate me or that I am mean, I tell them great, it just means I am doing my job correctly. They really will understand as they get older and some even come to appreciate all the things that you have done right while rarely remembering things like this. :grouphug:

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You are a wonderful, wise mom, not only to your dd but to all her teammates. None of them want to get sick.

 

In perhaps 20 years your dd will see things your way. In the meantime, movies and ice cream sound like a good idea.

 

:iagree: Exerting herself before she's 100 percent could also make her feel worse and take longer for her to get back to normal.

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