Will you help me decide on bailing on baseball?? Please?

[Alicia64]

I signed my 7 year old up thinking, "this will be fun." Wasn't his idea. Sadly, he was happy when the practices were rained out.

 

The coach, whom I love (he's a real sweetheart), leads boring practices where the kids stand around in the field for 1 hour and 53 mins. and bat for maybe 7 minutes. (The practices total go for 2 hrs.)

 

The thing that really bothers me, though, is that I was NEVER told about all that's involved:

 

-- selling raffle tickets ($30 total)

-- working the concession stands at least two or three times during games.

-- attending a fundraising "carnival."

-- sometimes games are on a Thurs, Fri and Sat -- yes, in a row. (That only happens once though. Normally they're once or twice a week.)

-- purchasing pants, socks, cup, glove, bat, helmet, shirt, hat. (When I was a kid we bought hat, shirt and glove. Why do they need special pants and socks?! They're 7. I know the answer. . . it just seems over done.)

-- snacks at certain practices (that's no surprise, of course)

 

And who is the extra money going to for all of the fundraising? It sounds like it's going to the older teams so that the older kids can travel when they play far away teams. (In my day, the parents footed this bill.)

 

I had no idea I was buying into this kind of system.

 

Keep in mind that I paid $100 to sign my son up for baseball in the first place.

 

Again, if I'd known the situation, I wouldn't be complaining. It feels like the water is being turned up on me. A friend even told me that it's entirely common for the communication to be so bad -- like all the parents have older kids in the sport so they automatically know what's going on.

 

Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice? My son is reluctant to play now. He's still somewhat interested.

 

Also: he never asked to do this. I enrolled him thinking it would be fun. Now I don't know what to do! Also, dh is complaining about losing weekends to this sport (we can't go away or do other things.)

 

Thanks,

 

Alley

[Rebecca77]

Wanted to bump this for you. And IMHO say get out now!!! Especially if your son could take it or leave it. We did little league with our first ds. untill we couldn't take the coaches bad attitudes any longer. We couldn't believe the freedom we felt when we weren't running all the time to baseball. It was a huge commitment that was not worth it to us. I always resented it.

[Stacia]

Personally, our weekends together are more important to me than a 'baseball' experience for a 7yo. If it were me, there would be no question about dropping out.

 

If your ds were older, really committed to the sport, and really wanted to play, it would be something to consider. At 7, I consider free time & family time much more important & necessary.

 

Plus, I agree w/ you -- sports have changed a lot since we were kids. It's much more 'competitive' now, including costly team uniforms & equipment, fundraising, etc.... Blech. :tongue_smilie:

[HeidiKC]

I agree - take your son out. But I would strongly encourage you to write a letter to both the coach and (more importantly) the people who run this show, letting them know that there needs to be better communication and to make parents aware of the expectations up front.

 

The bringing snack thing - UGH!!!! I am going to post "boo on snax" in another post...

[Alicia64]

I. Love. You. Guys.

 

Thanks so much. You know when you're in the middle of something and you can't see the forest for the trees.

 

Crazy.

 

Alley

[lovemyboys]

I signed my 7 year old up thinking, "this will be fun." Wasn't his idea. Sadly, he was happy when the practices were rained out.

 

The coach, whom I love (he's a real sweetheart), leads boring practices where the kids stand around in the field for 1 hour and 53 mins. and bat for maybe 7 minutes. (The practices total go for 2 hrs.)

 

The thing that really bothers me, though, is that I was NEVER told about all that's involved:

 

-- selling raffle tickets ($30 total)

-- working the concession stands at least two or three times during games.

-- attending a fundraising "carnival."

-- sometimes games are on a Thurs, Fri and Sat -- yes, in a row. (That only happens once though. Normally they're once or twice a week.)

-- purchasing pants, socks, cup, glove, bat, helmet, shirt, hat. (When I was a kid we bought hat, shirt and glove. Why do they need special pants and socks?! They're 7. I know the answer. . . it just seems over done.)

-- snacks at certain practices (that's no surprise, of course)

 

And who is the extra money going to for all of the fundraising? It sounds like it's going to the older teams so that the older kids can travel when they play far away teams. (In my day, the parents footed this bill.)

 

I had no idea I was buying into this kind of system.

 

Keep in mind that I paid $100 to sign my son up for baseball in the first place.

 

Again, if I'd known the situation, I wouldn't be complaining. It feels like the water is being turned up on me. A friend even told me that it's entirely common for the communication to be so bad -- like all the parents have older kids in the sport so they automatically know what's going on.

 

Thanks for letting me vent. Any advice? My son is reluctant to play now. He's still somewhat interested.

 

Also: he never asked to do this. I enrolled him thinking it would be fun. Now I don't know what to do! Also, dh is complaining about losing weekends to this sport (we can't go away or do other things.)

 

Thanks,

 

Alley

 

Dc here love playing baseball. At that age, they don't much like practices. Have the games started? What does your ds think of them? Is Coach doing it all himself?

 

My comments here are based on your son's age:

Practices should have a little simulated game time near the end but the rest should be split up into small groups -- a few batting while a few are doing infield (throws to each base, getting ground balls, practicing tags), a few outfield (catching fly balls, longer throws).

 

I would step in and offer to help the coach to split up kids and do some drills, if you get it started, no doubt a couple other parents will participate. Look online, ask around, check books/videos out of the library if you want some different drills. I've seen some very creative stuff.

 

One that the kids always enjoy is running the bases -- can be done like relays or chases or timed or ....

 

Some leagues do have all the above expenses that you listed. If the fields aren't part of a county parks-and-rec or school network, then field upkeep and maintenance is part of all that fundraising. And yes, that first year is pretty alarming. We've been in leagues where it's built in to the price, and others where it's extra and you do the work.

 

Also, most coaches are somewhat flexible about pants and socks. Some of that depends on your child -- does he care? We've had teams with all different color pants (grey, white, black). The cheapest are the ones without belt loops. We've seen kids wear sweatpants and shorts (shorts was in fall league, more relaxed). Once you get the socks, they'll wear them for years. The pants usually go for a couple seasons.

 

Part of team sports is commitment to the team. If you and dh would like for your child to be a part of this, for the sport, the physical activity, the sportsmanship, the skills, etc., then you need to stick with it. Once games get started, some coaches don't hold regular weekly practice (again, at this age).

 

But you want to think twice about quitting once you've started -- at this point, part of your money is already spent too.

 

And if you and dh want to schedule a weekend off for a small trip, visit with relatives, family time, whatever, just let the coach know. Other kids will be taking off for scouts or things -- it's not like this is a high school team. I try not to be too rigid in the early years, we honor the commitment without letting it run our lives.

 

I'd vote for giving it a try. Maybe after one season, your son will decide it's not for him. But I'd let him get a chance to play some games to see what all that practicing is about before I'd agree to quit.

 

Hope that helps with your decision a little.

 

:grouphug:

[Stacy in NJ]

This is why we don't do team sports in my house. Get out while you can. It's not like this is a travel team and you son will be letting the team down or something. This way some other little kid will get to bat more.......

 

My dss both played little league until around 10. It only get's worse. It's a tremendous time suck and it only gets worse as the kids get older. Both Dh and I had good memories of playing baseball/softball as kids, but there was limited parent involvement and little cash investment involved.

 

Unless your ds is an enthusiastic player, find another less involved sport.

[lovemyboys]

Looks like you've already gotten a number of replies that support your desire to bow out.

 

It's not for everyone. And some kids do fine starting a bit later when they've got more coordination and drive. One ds here really didn't like practicing and wasn't that keen on team sports in the beginning (theoretically, yes, practically, no :tongue_smilie:).

 

And one ds has always wanted to play baseball, since he was wee. So if that's not really the case for your ds then it's best to figure that out early.

 

:001_smile:

[mrs.m]

I wouldn't drop it. Find out what is mandatory and do those things. You might find that the carnival is fun. I would say that it's against my religion to sell raffle tickets. LOL! Try to find used items for the uniform. I found pants for $6.99 each at Dick's Sporting Goods. I bought used cleats and helmet.

 

And why do you think you can't go out of town? Especially if you are thinking about quiting all together? We skip games and practices when they conflict with our family schedule and I let the coach know ahead of time so he can plan the players. Go to the games you want to go to and let him some experience playing. He might sense your disatifaction and that might be his reluctance. My DS loves baseball but he still like a break and is happy to not go to practice. I think that's being 7.

 

I would tell the coach that the practice is too long. My DS7's practice is for 1 hour. They have extra coaches helping and they rotate through practicing different things in groups.

 

It might be that it isn't for your family, but you are just getting started, so why not give it a try?

[mrs.m]

Looks like you've already gotten a number of replies that support your desire to bow out.

 

It's not for everyone. And some kids do fine starting a bit later when they've got more coordination and drive. One ds here really didn't like practicing and wasn't that keen on team sports in the beginning (theoretically, yes, practically, no :tongue_smilie:).

 

And one ds has always wanted to play baseball, since he was wee. So if that's not really the case for your ds then it's best to figure that out early.

 

:001_smile:

 

LOL! I was typing while you posted. I have similar thoughts...

[elegantlion]

My dh signed up ds thinking it would be "fun" too. Dh even volunteered to be assistant coach. Well it wasn't fun. The coach took all the "good" players and worked with them, ignoring all the inexperienced players, such as my son. They were 8 and 9 year olds. :glare:The coach never gave any direction to my husband, who really signed up for the experience with ds.

 

After a few practices with no direction and no interaction from the other coach and my ds getting hit in the head with the baseball he begged to quit. We let him. It was just too competitive too early and there were no rec leagues in our area. Ds now hates baseball and only remembers getting hit in the head with the ball.

 

We had much better experience with Upward Basketball. They worked to teach the boys how to play, not assume they knew it all before showing up to practice.

[chiguirre]

After the season's over, I wouldn't sign up again. I would finish out the season because you've already paid for it and it will inconvenience the rest of the team to be short a player. The raffle and concession stand duty are standard baseball/softball stuff. The equipment is expensive, but you can use it for a couple of years if you continue. I paid more for dd's glove, helmet, bat and ball than I did to register. If you decide to quit, I'd list it on Craig's List or your local hs group for sale to recoup some of the cost.

 

I hope you find a sport you all like better.

[lovemyboys]

LOL! I was typing while you posted. I have similar thoughts...

 

 

:lol: great minds!

[sassenach]

In our house, once we've committed to something we stick with it. I would finish the season. I also have a 7yo in Little League, and I do find the commitments to be a little over the top at times, but that is the case with ALL organized sports. I haven't found single sport that doesn't have the type of parent commitments that you are talking about (except maybe when the kids were doing t-ball at the Y). So I guess the real question is whether or not organized sports are for your family. I would see this season through and then make that decision. For our family, it's worth it. That said- we do not revolve around sports to an unhealthy level. We don't do Sunday practices (common here), we are not afraid to miss a practice if our family needs a night off. We do try to make all of the games (the best part!), but we're also not afraid to let a game drop if we need to.

 

Organized sports are an important part of our family life. For us, homeschooling allows us to make these types of commitments without sacrificing our home life. If we weren't homeschooling, I would feel much differently about it.

[Only me]

I can understand your frustration but I'm not sure I would take him out at this point. First of all, wouldn't you be out the $100? I would also want to make sure that it wouldn't leave the team in a bind. My dh has coached for many years and depending on the team it might be difficult if they were to lose a player. We have 12 kids on the team this year but some years have only had 11. You need 9 to play. The problem is that throughout the season kids miss games for various reasons: illness, vacations, etc. so if they are already short a player in the beginning and one or two players miss they are in a bind. My son's team actually had to forfeit a game last year because too many kids were missing and they hadn't told the coach ahead of time. If they did it would have been possible to reschedule. The problem is that because we forfeited that game it moved us down in the standings and was a real bummer for the rest of the kids.

 

For our league the teams were formed last month and now it is really too late to change so if one of our players were to quit we wouldn't be able to get another player. This may be different for other leagues so you many want to check with your league. It many not hurt for you to call the director of your league and see what they say. If your son's team is big enough that it won't hurt them if he quits then I think that would be a little different. You could also tell them about your concerns.

[Desert Rat]

How long is the season? If it's just a few months, I would stick it out and then not sign up again. Sometimes, when kids bow out it leaves the team short and they have to play without subs, play short, or forfeit. As far as the extra time requirements, just sign up for what you can do. If money is an issue for you buying all the gear, talk with some of the other parents. They may have extra gear at home that you can borrow for the season. Or, explain the situation to the coach. My dh coached my ds's soccer team and from time to time we would help out parents who were hurting. We would usually pick up equipment when we found it cheap at the end of the season specifically for this reason. Of course, soccer is sometimes, okay often, way cheaper than baseball.

Good luck with your decision!

[Mrs Mungo]

After the season's over, I wouldn't sign up again. I would finish out the season because you've already paid for it and it will inconvenience the rest of the team to be short a player. The raffle and concession stand duty are standard baseball/softball stuff. The equipment is expensive, but you can use it for a couple of years if you continue. I paid more for dd's glove, helmet, bat and ball than I did to register. If you decide to quit, I'd list it on Craig's List or your local hs group for sale to recoup some of the cost.

 

I hope you find a sport you all like better.

 

:iagree:

 

In our house, once we've committed to something we stick with it. I would finish the season. I also have a 7yo in Little League, and I do find the commitments to be a little over the top at times, but that is the case with ALL organized sports. I haven't found single sport that doesn't have the type of parent commitments that you are talking about (except maybe when the kids were doing t-ball at the Y). So I guess the real question is whether or not organized sports are for your family. I would see this season through and then make that decision. For our family, it's worth it. That said- we do not revolve around sports to an unhealthy level. We don't do Sunday practices (common here), we are not afraid to miss a practice if our family needs a night off. We do try to make all of the games (the best part!), but we're also not afraid to let a game drop if we need to.

 

Organized sports are an important part of our family life. For us, homeschooling allows us to make these types of commitments without sacrificing our home life. If we weren't homeschooling, I would feel much differently about it.

 

:iagree:

[kalanamak]

 

The coach, whom I love (he's a real sweetheart), leads boring practices where the kids stand around in the field for 1 hour and 53 mins. and bat for maybe 7 minutes. (The practices total go for 2 hrs.)

 

 

This alone would make me bail. What a waste of time. And poor kiddo didn't even beg and plead for this.

 

"Studies have shown" that the sports that middle class males keep up into middle age and beyond are paddle and ball with a partner. Tennis, squash, etc. That's what we are stressing for kiddo. (And swimming and hiking and skiing and kayaking.)

[bookfiend]

Give yourself permission to do whatever is BEST for your family. That might mean upholding the "we never quit" standard, or an "I can admit my mistakes" lesson, or something else altogether. Only you can identify what core values are involved.

 

From a financial perspective is sounds like you are out $100 either way - $100 if you walk away or an extra $100 if you stay.

Edited April 17, 2010 by bookfiend

[mom4him]

I think the first big thing is your ds doesn't want to do it.

Tell them "WE QUIT!"

[lovemyboys]

"Studies have shown" that the sports that middle class males keep up into middle age and beyond are paddle and ball with a partner. Tennis, squash, etc. That's what we are stressing for kiddo. (And swimming and hiking and skiing and kayaking.)

 

I agree with taking a long view. Dh and I decided when kids were wee that we wanted to make sure they knew how to swim, golf and play tennis. Just the basic skills and rules of the game so if they had a date or a business outing or the urge to play, they would have something to work with. We see these three sports as ones that you can easily play into old age.

 

We've since added skiing to that.

 

Other sports were optional. When they've been interested, we've signed them up and they've tried "it" for a season, a lesson, whatever. So far, they've learned golf, swimming (including some competitive), ice skating, roller skating and rollerblading, skiing, basketball, baseball, and a little of volleyball, ultimate frisbee (!), hockey and flag football. But if it's a team sport, we sign up for the season -- it's only fair to the team.

 

Right now they're loving the team sports. They've gotten to the level that the trophies they get are earned and they are good players. They aren't the best on their teams and they may decide in the next few years that they've had enough but it's been cool to watch them work hard at something and see the results. It's been nice for them to be on a team that pulls together and achieves a shared goal. It's been interesting to see them develop self-discipline and self-control, to remain calm under pressure, shake off the errors or bad calls, console a disappointed teammate, become a team leader, celebrate with their mates, challenge themselves physically.

 

Alley, you asked for help in your decision -- those are some additional thoughts I've had about it. It didn't sound like your ds doesn't want to do any of it, just that he doesn't care for the boring practices. The above is some of what we've seen develop in the last few years with team sports. You and dh decide what's best for your family, but I don't think it has to be slavish devotion to an all-consuming team sport .... or nothing. You can find the middle ground.

 

Sometimes with homeschooling they don't have much competition in their lives so it's good for them to experience it.

 

But at 7 they aren't so keen on the practices, especially if they're boring.

 

Good luck. :001_smile:

Edited April 17, 2010 by lovemyboys