NEED CHILD PSYCH REFERRAL and encouragement!

[MistyJ]

Today our child psychiatrist (whom my son has only seen about 3 times) said that homeschooling children cannot handle college and rarely succeed in life because they do not know how to interact in work situations/with difficult people.

 

Okay, I'm rarely offended by people who disagree with me, but the man said it IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!!!

 

If you live in the Phoenix are, I need a referral to someone who is amenable to homeschooling.

 

If you have raised a child to adulthood, please reassure me.

[blessed2fosteradopt]

You should have asked him if he had ever heard of Tim Tebow.

[Jenileigh]

Oh my. I can't give a referral but I can tell you that I homeschooled my oldest daughter 6th-12th (and would have sooner had I known that I COULD do it) and she is just fine. She tested into Community College with flying colors, she took one semester through dual enrollment while still homeschooling and then went on to take her CNA (certified nursing assistant). She is married and expecting her first child in July. She is not taking classes this semester but plans to return in the fall. She is going for her RN. She is a beautiful, bright young woman. Homeschooling benefited her in every way.

 

That statement could NOT be further from the truth. It's an opinion. A stereotype. True it is not. Hang in there. Find a referral and don't give up.

[Tap]

I don't have a rec for you but a thought to maybe help you with his comment.

 

First, a story of why I have this perspective. DD3 is a foster/adopt child. When we were signing papers and making some guardianship decisions, I talked to a lot of my friends about our options. One friend, who is a family court judge told me that I needed to do X,Y,Z because she saw so many problems with A,B,C. Another friend, a caseworker (and our two caseworkers), said absolutely do A,B,C as it was much easier on the family, quicker, easier and just as permanent as X,Y,Z. A lawyer didn't even really understand how X,Y,Z worked legally, and they could foresee loopholes, so they only recommended and pursued A,B,C for their clients.

 

The two people who see and personally deal with the cases that imploded on the adoptive families....only recommended A,B,C.

 

The caseworkers, who wanted things to happen fast, and didn't deal with the implosions....recommended X,Y,Z. They never saw the problem cases, so they thought X,Y,Z was absolutely fine!

 

 

I find that this is true for most homeschooling comments too. The psychiatrist is probably going by his personal experiences with some kids he has worked with, that didn't succeed. So, his opinion is now biased due to that. Many kids who don't excel in traditional school are home schooled because they can't handle traditional school settings...the family didn't plan that path. So, in these instances, the homeschooling wasn't the culprit, the child's personality was.

 

I don't mean this to excuse his behavior, but rather give some perspective to why he may have this ill gotten opinion. I would look for another psychiatrist that doesn't let one patient's experiences taint his other patients, but if you find he is insightful and therapeutic for your son, have a frank discussion with him about his bias.

[Orthodox6]

We live in Texas, so referrals won't help.

 

That "professional" is full of crock, however. (a lack of tact being but one flaw !) One of my college sons, currently applying as a transfer student after completing his CC years, is inundated with scholarship offers because of his membership in the honor society for community college students and because of his grade point average. These are guaranteed scholarships, even though he has not even applied to these schools ! We homeschooled him for grades 1-12. No co-op classes.

 

As for not being able to interact with "difficult people", that also is speculative. One does not extrapolate from a tiny sample size and blanket-stereotype an entire population. Being a "special person" himself (ADHD/anxiety spectrum) made this same 20-1/2 year old son of mine extraordinarily compassionate toward other people and extremely gifted in interacting with all kinds of people, including unbearably "difficult" individuals !

 

Dump this "psych" person ASAP. I understand the recommendation (posted above) to try, gently, to educate the man. Don't waste your time. Attitudes such as his are implanted deeper than the most severely impacted wisdom tooth.

Edited February 20, 2010 by Orthodox6

[Moxie]

My sister was homeschooled all the way through high school, graduated from college with no student loans, joined the Peace Corp., lived in Bangladesh (talk about dealing with difficult people!!), got married and is now a teacher.

 

:grouphug::grouphug:

[Vicki]

I have graduated 3 of my children. My oldest ds son in currently at UTSA Health Science Center working on a triple doctorate. He hopes to be a maxillofacial oncologist. He hopes to do a fellowship in oncology and EENT. My oldest dd is working on an elementary ed degree. She is a office manager of Men's Warehouse. My middle ds has attended college, but isn't going right now. He does work full time. He still doesn't have a clue about what he wants to do with his life. They all lead full lives, are very busy, and have many friends.

God bless,

Vicki

[Joanne]

How very unprofessional and ignorant of him.

 

I still have contact in the Phoenix area. What are the reasons you are seeking mental health help?

[Joanne]

I emailed my AZ homeschooling contacts for you.

[freetobeme]

no actual help but my hs'ing friend's husband is a psychiatrist. . .

[Joanne]

no actual help but my hs'ing friend's husband is a psychiatrist. . .

 

I have additional "homeschool" students. One sees a psychologist for (attention) meds. That psych homeschooled his dd for a while (she's now in private school). The Dr. was supportive not only of my client homeschooling, but of her hiring another mom to do it!

[newbie]

yellowpagesforkids.com is for kids with disabilities. But, you just plug in your area.

 

I know a great psychologist in San Diego, actually two.

[KidsHappen]

Totally uncalled for and incorrect. I would consider reporting him for this. It was unprofessional and borders on malpractice mentioning it in front of a child with psychiatric problems.

 

I have a psych doc which I see as does my bi-polar dd and one other dd. She strongly supports homeschooling and is very encouraging to both me and my children. She also makes recommendations based on the actual patient and what is best for them.

 

I am sorry that you had this experience. I can't help with a recommendation but I absolutely agree that you need a different doctor.

[Catherine]

He *really* pressed us hard about the socialization thing. It was very uncomfortable and if I had not already written the check I would have gotten up and walked out.

 

Find someone who is supportive of your choices and actually understands homeschooling. One poster suggested his comments were borne of experience with kids who did not do well-but that is far more generous than my thoughts, which were basically that he was a total ignoramous and knew no home educated kids.

 

Life's too short to waste it trying to work with someone like this. Cut your losses.

[TXMary2]

Today our child psychiatrist (whom my son has only seen about 3 times) said that homeschooling children cannot handle college and rarely succeed in life because they do not know how to interact in work situations/with difficult people.

 

Okay, I'm rarely offended by people who disagree with me, but the man said it IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!!!

 

If you live in the Phoenix are, I need a referral to someone who is amenable to homeschooling.

 

If you have raised a child to adulthood, please reassure me.

 

JMO of course, but that Dr. is talking out of his rear end. I have graduated my oldest and he is perfectly well adjusted. He started his very first job in May and since then he has had 3 raises and a promotion. They LOVE him because he gets along with everyone and is a hard worker. If anyone told me what that Dr. told you I would quickly tell them of my son. Not only is he great at his job he is also a skateboarder who has several sponsors and competes in competitions throughout Texas.

 

I can't say how annoyed I am by this Doctor!! It is scary to think he treats children when clearly he doesn't know his stuff. I think he should worry more about traditionally schooled children who graduate unprepared for life.....surely there are more of those than homeschooled kids. Sheesh!

Edited February 21, 2010 by TXMary2

[Happy2BaMom]

"The Journal of College Admission" (Journal of the National Association for College Admission Counseling), Number 185, Fall 2004, Special Homeschool Issue, "Homeschoolers on to College: What Research Shows us"

 

I recommend getting a copy to reassure yourself. To sum it up, there has never been a research study done which has shown that homeschoolers grow up deficient or unable to perform (in college or life) in any way.

 

I quote from the issue "In a recent study, Jones and Gloeckner (2004) revealed that homeschooled graduates performed as well as their traditional high school peers."

 

I also have reviewed a number of master's thesis (I'm currently finishing my M.Ed) that have been done on hsers...again, no one has been able to document anything negative (so far, anyway).

 

People can report anecdotes all day long. Just tell them the research clearly shows that the overall population is doing great.

[cathmom]

Tell him about Susan Wise Bauer. She seems to be handling TEACHING college just fine!

[Garga]

My dh works at a community college. His previously homeschooled students do well, and the other teachers say their previously hs-d students do well, too.

 

He does say that each set of students (public schooled vs homeschooled) come with their own set of weaknesses. But it's simple stuff. The hsers have a harder time realizing that a deadline is a deadline. But after missing a deadline or two, they learn to take them seriously.

 

Beyond the deadline thing, they are pretty much the same as everyone else. They're not cringing in the corner, scared of the 'difficult' students.

[coffeefreak]

Today our child psychiatrist (whom my son has only seen about 3 times) said that homeschooling children cannot handle college and rarely succeed in life because they do not know how to interact in work situations/with difficult people.

 

Okay, I'm rarely offended by people who disagree with me, but the man said it IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!!!

 

If you live in the Phoenix are, I need a referral to someone who is amenable to homeschooling.

 

If you have raised a child to adulthood, please reassure me.

 

:grouphug:

That's horrible. No advice, just :grouphug:

[MistyJ]

"The Journal of College Admission" (Journal of the National Association for College Admission Counseling), Number 185, Fall 2004, Special Homeschool Issue, "Homeschoolers on to College: What Research Shows us"

 

I recommend getting a copy to reassure yourself. To sum it up, there has never been a research study done which has shown that homeschoolers grow up deficient or unable to perform (in college or life) in any way.

 

I quote from the issue "In a recent study, Jones and Gloeckner (2004) revealed that homeschooled graduates performed as well as their traditional high school peers."

 

I also have reviewed a number of master's thesis (I'm currently finishing my M.Ed) that have been done on hsers...again, no one has been able to document anything negative (so far, anyway).

 

People can report anecdotes all day long. Just tell them the research clearly shows that the overall population is doing great.

 

Thanks for this. I will find it and send it to him. Already my son, who is bipolar, is obsessing over the notion he will not graduate from college.

 

My husband, who was at the meeting, related his own childhood, which was crippled by shyness and awkwardness (that I think verges Aspergers), and that 12 years of public school did not help him. Dh also related that he volunteers with our junior high Church group, comprised mostly of public schoolers and Catholic private schoolers, and that dh does not want our son socialized by THEM.

 

My son went through 3 years of preschool and 5 years of public school, and he was extremely shy and awkward at the end of that. It is his nature. My daughter is cheerful and outgoing wherever you put her. Another dr. of ours shared that shyness has recently been shown to be genetic, and dh and I were both excruciatingly shy children. (I used to kick my parents' friends in the shins rather than interract with them.) And I was publically schooled.

 

Still hoping for a chance referral for a ped. psych. in AZ. My local hs group is also looking.

 

You're all awesome.

[Joanne]

Still hoping for a chance referral for a ped. psych. in AZ. My local hs group is also looking.

 

You're all awesome.

 

I PM'ed you. Will send more when I get them.

[MistyJ]

"The Journal of College Admission" (Journal of the National Association for College Admission Counseling), Number 185, Fall 2004, Special Homeschool Issue, "Homeschoolers on to College: What Research Shows us"

 

I recommend getting a copy to reassure yourself. To sum it up, there has never been a research study done which has shown that homeschoolers grow up deficient or unable to perform (in college or life) in any way.

 

I quote from the issue "In a recent study, Jones and Gloeckner (2004) revealed that homeschooled graduates performed as well as their traditional high school peers."

 

I also have reviewed a number of master's thesis (I'm currently finishing my M.Ed) that have been done on hsers...again, no one has been able to document anything negative (so far, anyway).

 

People can report anecdotes all day long. Just tell them the research clearly shows that the overall population is doing great.

 

I tried, unsuccessfully, to find this article. Do you have a link?

 

Thanks.

[Cindy in the NH Woods]

I frequently tell my children that if they can get along with their siblings, they can get along with anyone. ;);)

 

(We graduated our first K-12 homeschooled dd last year. By God's grace, she will be graduating from an accelerated program with her practical nursing degree this April after just turning eighteen. I believe she was the only student not to have received any midterm warnings. She is well-loved by her clinical patients, and has received good feedback about her growth from her instructors. She also started the program with some health issues which have been a challenge. I am not saying this year was a cake walk for her, but I do believe that homeschooling has enabled her to be socialized primarily by adults and has also allowed her the flexibility to take on leadership roles prior to college.)

 

I pray you find GOOD counsel. :grouphug:

 

Cindy

[forevergrace]

Hi Misty,

Sounds like you have great support, and Joanne has sent you some help. We live in Tucson, not to far from Phoenix. Let me know if you still need help finding referrals. Sending you positive thoughts.

Forevergrace;)

[Poke Salad Annie]

My dh just told me that Francis S. Collins, M.D, Ph.D., a former head of the Human Genome Project, was homeschooled. I'm not sure why he knows that, but I just looked that up, and indeed, he was homeschooled until the sixth grade. I know that's not an example of someone homeschooled all the way through high school, but golly, he seems like a fine example, and I bet he knows how to get along with others he works with. :D

[Laurie4b]

Today our child psychiatrist (whom my son has only seen about 3 times) said that homeschooling children cannot handle college and rarely succeed in life because they do not know how to interact in work situations/with difficult people.

 

Okay, I'm rarely offended by people who disagree with me, but the man said it IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN!!!

 

If you live in the Phoenix are, I need a referral to someone who is amenable to homeschooling.

 

If you have raised a child to adulthood, please reassure me.

 

I would also report him to the medical board for 1) allowing his personal biases (not consistent with research) to interfere with a client relationship and 2) for undermining you in front of your children. Send some research (such as listed in this thread) with your complaint. Convey in what ways you and your children were harmed. (If nothing else, your child has to start over with another therapist.) It won't be a big deal but someone might well speak to him.Do it for the next homeschooling parent.

[asta]

I tried, unsuccessfully, to find this article. Do you have a link?

 

Thanks.

 

Homeschoolers on to College

 

Just click the "ERIC full text" .pdf link in the upper left corner.

 

Whenever you're looking for a scholarly text, go to scholar.google.com (no www). Not all articles are available in full format - some are only precis.

 

 

a

[elegantlion]

Homeschoolers on to College

 

Just click the "ERIC full text" .pdf link in the upper left corner.

 

Whenever you're looking for a scholarly text, go to scholar.google.com (no www). Not all articles are available in full format - some are only precis.

 

 

a

 

Thank you! I'm filing that in my arsenal of articles.

 

 

Misty, I'm sorry you're having to deal with ignorance. My gut reaction would have been to stare at him and asked if he gets out of his office much. (HUGS) to you and your ds.