Girl Hair advice needed

[LibrarianMom]

Hello! My daughter (8) has hair that goes past her shoulders, about mid-way down her back. We struggle though as no matter how often we wash and condition it always has tangles and sometimes huge knots. I ask her to brush her hair and she gets the top part but it will still have huge tangles underneath. But then if I brush the tangles out, she yells like I'm torturing her. We've tried detangler but it tends to make her hair look greasy and doesn't really help. I'm tempted to get it all cut off! Suggestions?

[PiCO]

Hello! My daughter (8) has hair that goes past her shoulders, about mid-way down her back. We struggle though as no matter how often we wash and condition it always has tangles and sometimes huge knots. I ask her to brush her hair and she gets the top part but it will still have huge tangles underneath. But then if I brush the tangles out, she yells like I'm torturing her. We've tried detangler but it tends to make her hair look greasy and doesn't really help. I'm tempted to get it all cut off! Suggestions?

 

Ask her if she likes her hair long, or if she wants to chop it. If she wants to keep it, put it in braids most of the time.

[Caitilin]

Ask her if she likes her hair long, or if she wants to chop it. If she wants to keep it, put it in braids most of the time.

 

 

:iagree:However, if she's really tender-headed, then I think your best bet would be to cut it for now. She's young, it's only hair, and it will grow back. I had super-short hair as a kid, for that reason--I couldn't STAND to have my hair brushed. When I was willing and able to care for it myself, I was allowed to grow it the way I wanted. Some things aren't worth the trouble, and IMO long hair on little girls is one of them. :)

[dangermom]

When was the last time she had a trim? Take an inch or two off and see if that helps.

 

I'm still brushing my 9yo's long hair to get the tangles out. She just can't reach it well enough and doesn't realize how tangly it gets underneath. So I do the major morning brush, and she does the best she can the rest of the time. (When I was that age, I got a huge tangle/dread right behind my ear, where my glasses were. It had to be cut off. I had no idea it was there. I remember what it was like!)

 

Do you braid her hair at night? That is a big help to us.

 

If she doesn't want to put up with serious brushing, just chop it off. Those are the choices, really.

[LibrarianMom]

Thanks for the suggestion of braiding her hair at night. I don't think she's quite asleep yet, so I'm off to braid!

[usetoschool]

The cosmetologist daughter says short hair is not easier on little girls, it just gets in their face and has to be styled to look good. Just cut it shoulder length and keep it in a pony tail most of the time.

[Grace Academy]

I agree about the braiding....also if she has really thick hair, you can get it thinned out at the salon with thinning shears. I always get my hair thinned and a few layers put in because it's so thick.

[In The Great White North]

Dd's hair was like that for years. She started being able to take care of it herself around 11. In the meantime, we did:

 

1. Comb it with the conditioner still in to get out all the tangles (and don't retangle everything drying it off.)

 

2. Definitely braid it every night and undo the braid and brush in the morning.

 

3. Use the spray on and leave in conditioner.

 

It really took all three to manage the snarls and we did have to cut out mats when ever we let up on the braiding. Her brother is constantly complaining that she smells of conditioner because she doesn't rinse it out.

[sweetsouthern]

oh gosh my dd is 10 and has had these problems for years! lol! she has a head full of thick hair (like me) but hers tangles more easily then mine does.

 

couple things to try:

 

* comb in the conditioner in the bath or shower, its easy to work out the knots.

 

* get a detangler comb from a place like sallys beauty supply, it really helps on the bad knots.

 

* braids and ponys would still get knotty on her in bed, so she gathers it in a pony tail but then twists it up to the top of her head and uses a claw clip on the top of her head.

 

* and most recently she just got some layers cut into her hair from the bottom of her ears down to the length. thats helped ALOT!

[Mekanamom]

What helped my DD: The Generic Value Equivalent of Paul Mitchell Products. We get them from Sally's Beauty Supply.

 

She uses: GVP/Shampoo One; GVP/Detangler (washes out in the shower); and occasionally uses GVP/Super Skinny Relaxing Balm.

 

None of it weighs her hair down or makes it greasy. Once or twice a week she uses GVP/Special Tea Tree Shampoo.

 

Compared to the real Paul Mitchell products, these GVP products are really inexpensive!

[Starr]

My dd wore her hair in a long french braid almost always.

[rwjx2khsmj]

After YEARS of crying and brushing and crying, dd10 donated her hair to Locks of Love. She is beautiful in her chin-length, easy-to-maintain bob and another child is benefitting from her hair. I'm thrilled, she's thrilled, life is good and there are NO MORE TEARS at brushing time.

[crl]

We keep it at a chin length for this exact reason. When DD is willing to take care of it and comb out the tangles, then she can have it whatever length she wants.

[JillZ]

I second the pp who suggested getting a detangling comb. It works wonders on my hair.

 

Also, start combing out the tangles on the bottom few inches of hair first. Once those are detangled, move up to the next few inches of hair and comb those tangles out. Repeat until all the hair is detangled. Once you get the hang of it, it should only take a few minutes to have all the hair nice and combed out.

[hornblower]

-really good conditioner not only helps detangle but will also help prevent tangles; it keeps the hair slippery and smooth in between washing

 

-pony or braid it in the daytime. If you pony it, make sure you take the elastic out at night. My ds with long hair gets knots at the nape because he sometimes doesn't take it out at bed time :glare:

 

-satin or very high thread count cotton pillowcases

 

-braiding at night usually helps my ds though my dd (with even longer hair than ds) says it makes things worse for her & creates a mat at the back.

 

-a good detangling comb and as a pp said, start at the bottom, work your way up slowly, when you hit knots, hold the chunk of hair firmly at the scalp and work your comb through it gently, teasing it out starting from the bottom.

[Plucky]

We suffered with this for 12 years. Finally, we had her hair layered and haven't had a tangle issue since. She still gets the long hair she loves and can maintain it herself. She does use a conditioner, but it didn't help like layering. Go see a good hairdresser.

[zaichiki]

Try a spray in detangler. Spray it just on the knot/tangle as you comb it out. Works great and doesn't make a headful of greasy hair.

[Parrothead]

dd has a de-tangling comb in the shower to get the conditioner all over.

[OLCH]

Another vote for cutting. We are even a little longer than chin length & DDs 8.5 & 6 Love it!! They can do it themselves. Sometimes just behind the ears, sometimes side part, sometimes small braid on the side, etc. (Braids I do & it's still long enough for a little bun on top w/ a pretty headband for Christmas Eve mass)

 

Ever since we did it, I've said over & over "the secret to a happy mother is short hair." :001_smile: We truly get out of the house so much faster & our mother/daughter relationship is better as hair used to be a struggle every day.

 

Many Blessings ~ Christine

[Carrie12345]

My girls both have long hair, and we only recently learned (in the past year or so) to never brush from the top! It's made a huge difference in our hair struggles. Starting from the top just pulls all of the knots down into one big tangle and makes it 10x's worse.

 

Of course, I don't listen to my own advice on my hair, but I've worked up a tough scalp. :tongue_smilie:

[Carol in Cal.]

...but you can keep them out with regular care.

 

Here's how: To get them out, get a very wide toothed plastic comb with a handle. Start from the bottom of the hair. Holding the hair firmly above where you're combing, slowly work your way up the head. When you get close to the scalp, have your DD hold her head firmly with her hands so that she is holding the hair that you are combing down below her hands. That way you're not pulling the roots of the hair much at all.

 

Once the main knots are all out, brush the hair with a natural brush, down off the head. Then run the comb through the hair again.

 

Maintenance:

Every morning, brush the hair thoroughly (that gets out the primary knots that might form overnight) and then comb through with that wide comb. You want to do this every day, so the knots do not build up. Your DD likely will not be able to do this for herself until she is around 12 or more--I have known of kids who could not do it until they were 15. Their arms are just not long enough in proportion to their bodies.

 

To wash:

Wash only in the shower, combing out before and while wet afterwards. Do not brush wet hair, ever. It shouldn't matter very much whether or not you use conditioner. If you do, consider only using it on the ends rather than the scalp, to avoid a greasy look.

 

 

If you do all these things, her hair will be long and lovely.

 

Braiding at night is a mixed idea. It makes the hair curlier in the morning, so it can be more difficult to comb out. If you're planning to braid it during the day, though, it's not a bad idea.

 

Get that Klutz Press book about styling long hair, and have fun with it! There is so much you can do with long hair--it's really fun, actually.

 

My DD's hair is down past her hips now--never having been cut. She is 13 and takes care of it herself. It is so long that she can tie the ends into a knot that lies on her shoulder. It's really striking.

[LauraGB]

We suffered with this for 12 years. Finally, we had her hair layered and haven't had a tangle issue since. She still gets the long hair she loves and can maintain it herself. She does use a conditioner, but it didn't help like layering. Go see a good hairdresser.

 

The layers and thinning. Our hairdresser just started using a thinning shears on dd's thick hair and its been wonderful. (Dd won't wear pony tails, braids, barrettes, or anything at all in her hair, and for YEARS needed to be told repeatedly just to brush it, and it still looked snarled and unkempt).

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you for this thread! I was going to post a question much like the OPs. We tried a braid last night and while there were a few tangles this morning, it was a HUGE difference from before. Thank you!!!