hornblower Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 Silly little news item but I think there's truth in it: "It doesn't always pay to be generous. A new survey out of Australia suggests that 825,000 gifts will be dumped straight into the garbage this Christmas. Another 6.5 million gifts will be given away or refunded. The survey also shows 55 per cent of women are guilty of re-gifting unwanted presents for their friends and one in five will return the gift directly to the store." http://www.news1130.com/news/local/more.jsp?content=20091204_110720_9080 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 My mom went through the Great Depression. I wouldn't think of tossing something that someone somewhere could use into the garbage. I have taken back a few items and exchanged them because they were the wrong size or in some cases were just totally inappropriate (like when MIL got dd7 a hooker costume). I have regifted a couple of extremely nice items that came from stores (overseas) where I could not exchange them. My main reason for this is that I already had too many of that item. One can only use so many lacquered chopsticks, and Japanese wallets. I have put into the charity bags some items given to us that were obvious used items (which I have no problem with in and of itself) but were not suitable for the age of the child. (Dd7 no longer plays with rattles. . .) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 And yet if you did not give that unwanted gift, the recipient would have felt slighted and upset with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yslek Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 I have taken back a few items and exchanged them because they were the wrong size or in some cases were just totally inappropriate (like when MIL got dd7 a hooker costume). :eek::blink::ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 4, 2009 Share Posted December 4, 2009 :eek::blink::ack2: Yes, dd7 opened it and said, "Mom, that's a naughty dress!":lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted December 5, 2009 Author Share Posted December 5, 2009 And yet if you did not give that unwanted gift, the recipient would have felt slighted and upset with you. I don't know. Our family stopped doing gifts for adults years ago. It's strictly kids only. I don't give gifts to anyone except my children & my nieces/nephews. Not to friends, not to newspaper boy, not to hairdressers, not to neighbours etc etc etc. It's possible there are people walking around really upset by me but I haven't noticed. Possibly 'cause I tick people off all the time anyway?:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I don't know. Our family stopped doing gifts for adults years ago. It's strictly kids only. I don't give gifts to anyone except my children & my nieces/nephews. Not to friends, not to newspaper boy, not to hairdressers, not to neighbours etc etc etc. My kids get 3 gifts each. Mil gets a gift card to Younkers. Neighbors get cookies. We asked all family to stop giving us (dh and me) gifts years ago, and everyone seems happier this way. We do make donations to Heifer Int'l and a few other charities in people's names every year. I'm sure I tick people off all the time too. Oh well, they're used to it. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in AUS Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Well i am an Aussie, a re-gifter and proud of it! TBH i am sick and tired if people close to me giving me thoughtless gifts. For the last two Christmases my Mum has given me a jewellery box of which i already have 3 and she purchased 2 of them, and i don't even wear jewellery! Then she gave me a tea cup and saucer and i never ever use a tea cup and i don't have a display cabinet or anywhere else to put it so it is waiting to be re-gifted, i never even took it out of the box. Both time she said, 'well i didn't know what to get you'. She bought the same things for all 3 of her daughters, no thought when into it at all. Honestly i put alot of thought into what i think the person might really like. Adults are hard to buy for but i would prefer to give a voucher for dinner out or for a bookstore/musicstore than a token, well i had to get something kind of gift. Rant over, who knows what i will end up with this year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Michelle T Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 My MIL sends lots of odd, unwanted gifts. I just take them all to the Goodwill for donation. I can't imagine throwing them in the actual trash. Michelle T Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 "It doesn't always pay to be generous. A new survey out of Australia suggests that 825,000 gifts will be dumped straight into the garbage this Christmas. The garbage? I often (more often than not, really) pass along (e.g. donate) gifts from the get-go, but I wouldn't intentionally add them to the landfill. And yet if you did not give that unwanted gift, the recipient would have felt slighted and upset with you. Not in my case. I think the same is true for many other people. But many of them get sucked into the "gift exchange among people who don't genuinely want gifts from one another" cycle.I don't know. Our family stopped doing gifts for adults years ago. It's strictly kids only. I don't give gifts to anyone except my children & my nieces/nephews. You've got me beat. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 (edited) Surely they mean the charity bin? And not the actual garbage bin? We don't really do Xmas presents much, so we only get given one or two things for the kids. But for people who get stuff they can't use, why not simply give the person some friendly suggestions? Edited December 5, 2009 by Hotdrink Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I don't know. Our family stopped doing gifts for adults years ago. It's strictly kids only. I don't give gifts to anyone except my children & my nieces/nephews. Not to friends, not to newspaper boy, not to hairdressers, not to neighbours etc etc etc. It's possible there are people walking around really upset by me but I haven't noticed. Possibly 'cause I tick people off all the time anyway?:lol: Well take comfort that you have company bc we are the same way. We buy for our kids and that's it. On a good year we might buy for godchildren and close friends, but only it something we know they will enjoy strikes us. And we truely do not care if anyone buys us anything. Most years dh and I don't even buy for each other and are just as happy. I do trash things. If I don't think a friend or charity can use it, then I trash it. Prime example is the useless often tacky white elephant stuff. Ug I really dislike those exchanges. I know. How bah hum bug of me. *sigh* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ekarl2 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I've never understood the big deal about re-gifting as long as the intended recipient of the re-gift doesn't know it's a re-gift and would really enjoy it. Now I was given a pair of somewhat plain-jane brass candlesticks as a wedding shower gift from a member of my dh's family. They had wax still in them. :confused: I mean, they are nice; I still have them. But couldn't the re-gifter have at least cleaned them up first?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Well, I never throw away anything that someone else could use. I also don't buy things just for the sake of buying. I really take time to find out what a person wants. I usually just ask or pick up on clues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StephanieZ Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 MIL got dd7 a hooker costume . . . Dd7 no longer plays with rattles. . . OMG!!! :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: That is just AMAZING. . . If both these things came from the same MIL, I would def. be thinking mental health problems. Sounds a lot like dementia of some sort, or a major mental illness. YIKES!!!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 OMG!!! :confused::confused::confused::confused::confused::confused: That is just AMAZING. . . If both these things came from the same MIL, I would def. be thinking mental health problems. Sounds a lot like dementia of some sort, or a major mental illness. YIKES!!!!!!!!! LOL! Yes, same MIL. But no dementia and not mental illness. Just majorly clueless about children. There was a reason I never let her babysit when the children were really young. Actually another major reason is that she is an immigrant and sometimes really does not understand the cultural significance of certain toys and items. (This is not a cut by the way, just a reality.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 We also buy only for our own children. I may pick up something for somebody special if I see and I know the person would love the item. I'm just not into obligatory gift exhanges. Nothing says, "I'm obligated to buy you a gift but I don't know you well enough to know what you'd really like..." that those pre-packaged baskets of shower gel & lotion that are spilling off of the Walmart shelves at this time of year. Or cheap candles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mazakaal Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 I don't know. Our family stopped doing gifts for adults years ago. It's strictly kids only. I don't give gifts to anyone except my children & my nieces/nephews. Not to friends, not to newspaper boy, not to hairdressers, not to neighbours etc etc etc. It's possible there are people walking around really upset by me but I haven't noticed. Possibly 'cause I tick people off all the time anyway?:lol: :iagree: I don't do a lot of adult gifts either. I give to my parents and dh's parents when they were still alive, a few other adult relatives, not to friends or aquaintances. Yesterday I got a book catalog in the post. They had a Barak and Michele paper doll book. http://www.thebookpeople.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=10001&mpe_id=31021&intv_id=125649&partNumber=RACK&evtype=CpgnClick&langId=100&catalogId=10051&ddkey=http:ClickInfo I thought to myself that the only possible reason anyone would buy that would be as a joke to a friend or co-worker. The book would then be promptly thrown in the bin. What a complete waste of paper. No-one is really going to use something like that. For all the crying over here about conservation, recycling, and global warming, I think it such a waste to see all the things that are produced to be given as gift and then binned. Getting off my soapbox now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 Hmm, that's a pretty big number, BUT I can believe it when I think of how many of those silly gift exchanges people get dragged into. I think gift-giving should be way more personal than it has become. People are giving something just to say that they did or to join in on an exchange. Or just to be able to say, "I made 50 of these (perfectly useless) homemade gifts out of totally recycled/reconstituted materials!" or "I only paid .25 for every gift I gave this year!" (nevermind that no one in their family or circle of friends really wants or needs a limited edition Jonas Brothers tire gauge--on closeout!) or "I've got to think of a $100 gift for this person who has *everything*!" I don't mean to belittle those who have to really work hard to make something special for those they love or to use their amazing frugal skills to find a "just right" gift that really fits the recipient. That's not what I'm talking about. But there is just way too much junk-shopping and yeah, I'd throw something like that away if it was so bad that I didn't feel right about donating it to Goodwill! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted December 5, 2009 Share Posted December 5, 2009 The past few Christmases we found ourselves buying just to check that person off the list. This included my own children. They didn't need anything and their closets were overflowing. This year we are donating to charity. And, we will also let the kids buy one thing they want because making a change to just charitable giving is admittedly hard. It's been a bit uncomfortable at times. Buying and choosing gifts can be fun. I'm feeling a bit left out of the Christmas consumer excitement BUT I still feel we are doing the right thing. Change can be hard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 We'll probably throw out whatever my aunt gets us, but that's ok because she works at the tip which is where it probably came from in the first place :lol: She comes out with all sorts of weird things that no one wants, and it's kind of fun to wait and see what it's going to be this year, heheh. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Im really rethinking Christmas this year. I certainly regift things I receive that are not in tune with who I am, such as FIL giving me cheap perfume. MIL has the sense to leave the lables on the clothes she often buys us, so we can exchange them if we don't like them. I was speaking to a girlfriend this afternoon and she said she doesnt want any more "things". She is somoeone who keeps her home clutter free and doesnt like mess, so "things" just mess her around. So we agreed not to give each other "things" this Christmas- maybe something edible instead. I think its crazy and I try not to buy into the whole obligatory gift thing. I keep it to my immediate family and my parents. Dh does his family. And then I do my friends, but I always find that uncomfortable because I never know how much to spend- what if they dont get you anything and you get them something fairly expensive? Or vice versa? I am trying to be up front about such things. I am thinking of just doing food for all friends this year. I don't like the consumerism of it and I think its about time we opted out of that as a culture. Its just silly. We dont need to consume more plastic junk. Yet gift giving has its beauty too. I love hearing how people make it more authentic for themselves. We have decided not to spend Christmas with family this year because we dont enjoy it- but we havent worked out what to do instead yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravin Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 Peela, you could always volunteer at the local soup kitchen. I've been known to regift things. This year I'm honestly not buying any gifts except for the kids, and some of that is secondhand things from Goodwill. We just don't have the money. I'm not even doing stockings for the adults in our household this year. I wish I could get more gifts; I could think of things to give, I'm usually good at coming up with that sort of thing, and I really enjoy it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgm Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 nah, it's getting returned. The game with my in-laws is to profit from the gift giving..they return everything and hope to come out with more than they put in. What is being given is clearance, flea market, dollar store, thrift store, yard sale items and regift items (very few of which are returnable). What is being asked for is new. All of these people don't work and have more income than we do and insist on a gift swap. I give the inappropriate toys to the school toy drive; the clothing to the school nurse and the one-step-up-from-junk to goodwill. For ex. the identical $5 coffee mug and thermos gifts that I rec'd several years in a row - someone gave one to every in-law and I rec'd them all as they regifted. A few years ago we agreed to have just kid and g'parent gifts. One of the kids spilled the beans that he wasn't allowed to open his gifts as they would be returned. So now, I give gift cards to the movies to kiddos. G'parents return everything..even compact fluorescent lightbulbs that would save them money. It's all pointless. It's really made the holidays less joyful, as I was raised with the thoughtful gift idea and to appreciate others time and effort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PineFarmMom Posted December 6, 2009 Share Posted December 6, 2009 :iagree: I don't do a lot of adult gifts either. I give to my parents and dh's parents when they were still alive, a few other adult relatives, not to friends or aquaintances. The only adult gifts we're doing this year is mutually purchasing farm animals, blankets & Bibles for people in poverty areas of the world. It just makes sense now. Too many people we are close to have everything they need. FWIW, the only adults we purchase for are my parents, dh's mom, and my adult niece & nephew. The rest are our children and younger nieces & nephews. I have never and would never throw away a gift, though. I've returned and regifted, but that's about it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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