A Fight with my Doctor. Now what?

[Jean in Newcastle]

Short story - relapse of chronic illness after 8 months of fairly good health. A few abnormalities on the blood tests. E-mail to the Dr. to ask if we could pursue a couple of possibilities followed by her ok.

 

Longer story - http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=140608&highlight=advocating

 

So I called today to ask for the paperwork for the lab for the lab tests that the Dr. had approved of via e-mail. Doctor called me back and told me that she thought it was an "over reaction and unnecessary". She also told me that even if the results were positive for mono or for hepatitis, there wasn't much that could be done, so "why bother". She crossed the line, in my opinion, when she told me that "I had lived with illness for over 20 years so why did I think I would get some answers now?" And then she really crossed the line when she said that she didn't think I was all that sick anyway!

 

This is really, really, unlike this Dr. We have always had a very good "health partnership". My dh did point out that I tend to underplay my illness. For one thing, when I say I had a 'good day' I tend to forget that my good days of health aren't necessarily what someone bursting with health would count as a good day. But I have kept a health diary for her that tells her exactly what my good and bad days are like. So I have tried to have full disclosure.

 

I'm a bit unsure what to do. I had noticed a change in her in the last few months. She's been more wishy-washy - telling me one thing one time, a contradictory thing the next. But she's been a really good doctor over all. I could find another naturopathic doctor. But there is no guarantee that I would find one that I like right away. I could go ahead and pick up these forms for the tests and have them done and go from there. If she's right and I am negative to them all, then that's fine. If I do show a positive for one of the tests (and I sincerely hope that I don't) then we could deal with whether she could treat me or not at that point. But I feel wary of her now in a way that I didn't feel before. Any advice?

[sunshine]

Change doctors. Today.

[Joanne]

Please forgive me, as I've forgotten your specific issues and symptoms. But they really don't matter when it comes to what I am about to say.

 

She might have been a good health professional to you up until recently. But she's not *now*.

 

I, reading your post as well as the linked on, feel dismissed FOR you in her responses.

 

You are deserving of the best health possible for you; you are smart enough to research, and advocate for yourself. If she's not responding to your needs (and she's not), you can either talk to her about it, offering what you've told us about your feelings on her past history and changes......

 

Or you can (prayerfully, if that's part of your style) find a new situation.

 

In any case, I do not recommend status quo for you - I think you have reason to find additional answers and perhaps not suffer as much.

 

{{many tender hugs}}

[joannqn]

I'm sorry to hear that you are having trouble with a doctor. I had a similar experience. Had a doctor that treated me great at first but then I think he lost respect for me over time due to ongoing mental health and medical issues. My guess is that he started thinking that I was looking for attention or something. I don't know. But it became harder and harder to get adequate care from him. I finally had to find a new doctor.

 

Now I explain to new doctors that I'm not seeking attention or making things up, I'm just trying to slowly get care for chronic health issues I've ignored for one reason or another for many years.

[Peela]

What comes to my mind is that it could well be a blessing and that somehow life is moving you on. I would never give up on healing yourself of your chronic conditions, and perhaps you have gone as far with that doctor as you can go. Time to see what new doors will open for you next.

[MamaT]

Jean :grouphug: You have to do whatever it takes to get the answers you need. If this doctor is no longer willing to help you get those answers, then go find one who will.

[ChristusG]

I think it is time to find a new doctor. You deserve to be treated nicely. You deserve to have a doctor do everything they can to improve your health. And the doctor is working for YOU. You are paying them, you decide if they are being a good enough "employee." If not, they need to be let go. In this case, it sounds like they need to be let go. Your health cannot suffer due to their lack of concern.

[newbie]

Jean :grouphug: You have to do whatever it takes to get the answers you need. If this doctor is no longer willing to help you get those answers, then go find one who will.

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Garga]

Maybe I'll sound silly, but this reminds me of another thread about changing music instructors. Someone on the other thread said that usually a music instructor lasts about 5 years, and then you've learned everything you can from them, and if you want to learn more you need to change instructors.

 

Maybe doctors are the same way? After a certain amount of time, you need to move on? Maybe she's given you all she's got and you need a new doctor.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am confused. Is your doctor a medical doctor with a medical degree or not? If she is not, then I would see a doctor who who has a medical degree. I am sorry if this is a not so bright question on my part;) It does seem to me that you need to find a new doctor IMHO.

:grouphug:

[OnTheBrink]

Change doctors. Today.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[Stacie]

It's enough that you are battling a chronic illness, but to throw in a medical professional displaying a lack of compassion seems too much. I hope you can find another doctor who fits your needs better.

 

If you really like this doctor, you may want to call her and have a frank discussion. She may be frustrated like you are with the inability to actually get to the bottom of what is making you suffer. I think of a doctor my parents used for a long while. He was wonderful, caring, attentive, and thorough. He had a great bedside manner. He's the local go-to doctor that other doctors use for difficult cases. When dh and I needed to change doctors we chose him. Our first "get to know you" visit was a nightmare. He was rude, rushed, and patronizing. He spoke to me like I was a stupid child, he told my infant son that his daddy (dh) had to "just get past the illnesses that are all in his head." Illnesses such as diagnosed diabetes and heart disease...in his head, really! We didn't go back to him. I don't think my parents really believed how he acted to us, and both went to see him shortly thereafter for annual checkups. They were astounded at his change in behavior, and immediately changed doctors as well. A few months later we learned through newspaper articles and the small town grapevine that his wife took her own life after years of mental illness, his mother (who lived with them) killed a father of five while drinking and driving less than a week out of her fourth rehab stay, and his only son was depolyed to Afghanistan.

 

We are all glad we changed doctors, feel we made the correct decision, and were uncomfortable continuing with him showing such disrespect to us. However, after talking with my mom recently we both talked about how we never know what outside burdens a person carries on their shoulders. In a perfect world he would be two different people at home and work, but he's human and can't be. We are now able to look on him with grace and forgiveness rather than wondering what happened to make the doctor/patient relationship sour. And we really like the new doctors we chose!

 

Maybe your doctor has a lot on her mind and just showed bad judgement in working with you. It doesn't change the fact that she acted this way. Whatever action you choose is justified, but a graceful and forgiving approach may be appreciated by both of you. She's served you well for years, and you've been a good patient for years. Move along cautiously and respectfully whether she acts the same or not. Best wishes to you for improving health!

[tdeveson]

Find a new doctor. This one is no longer in your corner.

[AuntieM]

Hi Jean,

 

Bummer. Last thing you need is to deal with this. You have been terrific in being an involved and educated patient, something your physician should appreciate.

 

If it was just this once, and she's previously been a good health care partner for you, consider calling and asking for a sit-down appointment where you can talk in her office, rather than an exam room. Tell the receptionist you will need more than a 10 minute appointment slot. If they are unwilling to carve out this time for you, that will tell you something. I think that she needs to explain to you why she has had this sudden change of opinion/method with regard to your care.

 

Just trying to say that, as we have relocated frequently, it is no fun to change doctors when you have managed to establish a history with one that seems to "get" you. So, I'd really try to see if this was just an abnormal glitch that won't happen again. If she truly is dismissing your concerns, I agree with the others that it is time to seek a new physician.

 

:grouphug: Sorry you have to deal with this on top of not feeling good.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Or you can (prayerfully, if that's part of your style) find a new situation.

 

In any case, I do not recommend status quo for you - I think you have reason to find additional answers and perhaps not suffer as much.

 

{{many tender hugs}}

:iagree::iagree:Dr. Jacob Teitelbaum worked with Dr. Stephen Pfeifer to restore the majority of my health. When we could not find anything else to do, I found a Natrual Doctor who used Electrodermal Scan. What a difference! A heart problem that had the Medical Doctors scratching their heads was finally treated. This doctor has helped you, now it is time to move on and get even better. :grouphug:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Thank you for the advice and support. Yeah - I'm thinking that I do need to change doctors. To search a new doctor and fill out new paperwork seems exhausting to me. . . sigh. But as many have said, it could help me by giving me a new perspective.

 

This particular doctor is a naturopathic doctor with an N.D. degree. I do have an M.D. as well but I do not consult him on my chronic problems. I've found that naturopathic doctors are more equipped to handle chronic problems because they try to look for underlying causes, to treat the whole person and they tend to listen more.

 

I have wondered about the personal life of this Dr. I had noticed some changes in her behavior last month. She gave me some new medicine but only gave me cursory information about it. She was rather dismissive when I asked some questions and I ended up going to the informational website for the pharmaceutical company to get my questions answered. Then she told me my iron levels were fine. But when I said (nicely and respectfully) that I was surprised because it looked a bit low to me - she said, "Of course, it's low - you're anemic". And then yesterday I felt blindsided because she had already agreed to the bloodtests as being an appropriate new avenue. My call yesterday was a simple one about having forms ready when I stopped by - I was shocked when the doctor herself called and was so defensive and combative. So I do wonder what's going on. But at the same time, I don't feel that as a patient I need to try and analyze my doctor. I need to be able to trust her judgment.

 

I am grateful to her though. She's the only doctor in 20 years who ever thought to test my vitamin D levels. Having that taken care of has done wonders for me.

[Happy]

Thank you for the advice and support. Yeah - I'm thinking that I do need to change doctors. To search a new doctor and fill out new paperwork seems exhausting to me. . . sigh. But as many have said, it could help me by giving me a new perspective.

 

This particular doctor is a naturopathic doctor with an N.D. degree. I do have an M.D. as well but I do not consult him on my chronic problems. I've found that naturopathic doctors are more equipped to handle chronic problems because they try to look for underlying causes, to treat the whole person and they tend to listen more.

 

I have wondered about the personal life of this Dr. I had noticed some changes in her behavior last month. She gave me some new medicine but only gave me cursory information about it. She was rather dismissive when I asked some questions and I ended up going to the informational website for the pharmaceutical company to get my questions answered. Then she told me my iron levels were fine. But when I said (nicely and respectfully) that I was surprised because it looked a bit low to me - she said, "Of course, it's low - you're anemic". And then yesterday I felt blindsided because she had already agreed to the bloodtests as being an appropriate new avenue. My call yesterday was a simple one about having forms ready when I stopped by - I was shocked when the doctor herself called and was so defensive and combative. So I do wonder what's going on. But at the same time, I don't feel that as a patient I need to try and analyze my doctor. I need to be able to trust her judgment.

 

I am grateful to her though. She's the only doctor in 20 years who ever thought to test my vitamin D levels. Having that taken care of has done wonders for me.

 

I do think you need to have a direct conversation about her behavior. I imagine she will be defensive, but hopefully it will open her eyes to her changes. Too late to help you, but it might help another patient down the road.

[Lovedtodeath]

This particular doctor is a naturopathic doctor with an N.D. degree.

It sounds like she is very much like the MD's who worked with me. She used fairly traditional methods and improved your health dramatically. I think you need alternative medicine now, to complete the process.

[melmichigan]

Just a curiosity... Do you take high levels of Vitamin B supplements? Also to consider, how high is abnormally high in view of any supplements you are taking, one or two points above normal that is something to watch and monitor or significantly above normal as in something that needs to be addressed further?

 

Regardless, I wouldn't hesitate to change doctors if you aren't getting satisfying answers to your questions. :) Personal life shouldn't impact professional,and all that too.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just a curiosity... Do you take high levels of Vitamin B supplements? Also to consider, how high is abnormally high in view of any supplements you are taking, one or two points above normal that is something to watch and monitor or significantly above normal as in something that needs to be addressed further?

 

Regardless, I wouldn't hesitate to change doctors if you aren't getting satisfying answers to your questions. :) Personal life shouldn't impact professional,and all that too.

 

I am taking 100 mg of a B Complex.

 

I am taking two supplements that need to be monitored - vitamin D (I'm taking 10,000 iu a day) and iron. I also take a natural thyroid that needs to be monitored. I take other supplements but they are not ones that have to be monitored with bloodtests.

 

Is your question about "how high is abnormally high" in regard to the liver function test? or in regard to my levels of supplements?

[Liz CA]

Jean, when you feel like you are not being heard and respected any longer, it's time to find a new doc IMHO. You - or your insurance co. to whom you pay a premium - are paying this doctor to help you to the best of her knowledge and if she is giving up on helping you, it's time for a new doctor and perhaps a change of treatment.

 

[melmichigan]

How high was referring to your blood test. 100mg of a B complex doesn't say how much of the idividual components, that is what makes a difference. Many B vitamins are hard on your liver and will raise certain points of your function tests and need monitoring. It could be as simple as dosing needs adjusting and the blood work rechecked in another month. However, that should be explained, if you are taking that much of it, hard to say with the info. and your blood retested. You should never be "blown off" by a medical professional and I hope you are searching for another doctor and have called you regualr MD with the results so that they can follow up in the mean time.

 

Sorry things got busy here and I lost track of my posts.

Edited December 5, 2009 by melmichigan

[Jean in Newcastle]

How high was referring to your blood test. 100mg of a B complex doesn't say how much of the idividual components, that is what makes a difference. Many B vitamins are hard on your liver and will raise certain points of your function tests and need monitoring. It could be as simple as dosing needs adjusting and the blood work rechecked in another month. However, that should be explained, if you are taking that much of it, hard to say with the info. and your blood retested. You should never be "blown off" by a medical professional and I hope you are searching for another doctor and have called you regualr MD with the results so that they can follow up in the mean time.

 

Sorry things got busy here and I lost track of my posts.

 

No problem! I got a great referral yesterday to a naturopathic doctor who is also a nurse practitioner. It's a 45 min. drive but I don't mind driving if the end result is worth it. I will give her all of my lab reports and records and will ask her for her take on all of this. I don't want to pursue tests if they aren't medically warranted but I don't want my questions dismissed either.

 

I have not picked up the lab forms for the two tests that my current doctor agreed to so grudgingly. I feel like there is an expectation that if she approved the tests that I would go to her for a consultation afterward with the results and I don't want to do that.