Tanya in KS Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 My just turned 9 yo son lost his Nintendo DS system (last night) & one of his sister's games. We went back to where he dropped it and no avail. He was messing around with his sister and did not zip the bag where he kept his DS so it dropped out. Now it is gone.... (He is always losing track of things unless I remind him to check and last night I did not. Yes, I know helicopter mom. But truly it is his personality & not laziness - my sister was the same way and I think he is her clone =) Of course today in the mail, he just got a bunch of bday $ and now thinks he should be able to buy his sister's game and buy himself a new system. Would you let him spend his bday money on a new system?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 It wouldn't be so important to me HOW he paid for it but I wouldn't let him buy one right away. I'd make him wait and experience life without it first. Let him see what it feels like to lose something and not have it. Buying a new one the next day doesn't teach him much of anything, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Sure. It is his money and he is replacing his sisters game. If he spends the money on this, he won't have it to spend later, so the consequence is still there. I never limit what the kids can spend gift money on. That goes against why the person gave them money in the first place....they wanted them to buy a gift they wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I might go 50/50. He can use the money to buy sister's game, then earn 1/2 of the replacement money for his system. He gets a lesson in diligence but the blessing of the generosity of birthday money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I would let him but I would also require him to buy his sister an extra game (or some other gift to say "sorry") for being careless in the first place with someone else's property. So he replaces her original item that was lost and an apology gift for losing it. If he has enough left over, then he can do what he wants with his money. Hopefully, he WON'T have enough money :001_smile: and will have to work or wait for the rest of the money since the timing of the gift money was incredible. Make it a really good "I'm sorry" gift. I'm just mean that way.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 (edited) Sure. It is his money and he is replacing his sisters game. If he spends the money on this, he won't have it to spend later, so the consequence is still there. I never limit what the kids can spend gift money on. That goes against why the person gave them money in the first place....they wanted them to buy a gift they wanted. :iagree: The timing worked out well for him LOL. That's a great coincidence, and an 8-9 year old is typically old enough to recognize it as such (as opposed to thinking that every time he loses a DS there will be a check coming in the mail). ETA: Maybe he can also purchase a bag that secures differently. My kids never secure a zipbag, but they do better with drawstring bags that they can sling over their shoulders. It immediately registers in their minds if the bag is fully closed (or not). Edited October 13, 2009 by eternalknot Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 It's his money, and his DS that he lost. If he hadn't lost his DS, he'd have the money to spend on something else. And if his sister had not loaned him her game, her game would not have been lost. A lesson learned for her as well--both that she may want to reconsider loaning him things in the future, and that he is willing to pay replace her lost things. To me it seems artificial to make him earn the money another way if he's already got money to spend, as though the goal is for you to make your point rather than to impose a natural/logical consequence. Due to his carelessness, he will only be replacing something he lost, and buying a game for his sister, rather than buying something else that he wanted. That's real life. It's what I would do if I'd lost something important to me and received birthday money. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I answered on your other thread that asked the same question. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perry Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Yes, but I'd tell him that this is his last DS, and if he loses it, then he's not really ready for the responsibility and he'll have to wait another year or two. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 on his own, then, yes, I would just let him buy new. If you restrict his spending (requirering savings) then no. My dss are allowed to spend half their bd money and save half. Do what you usually do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 :iagree: The timing worked out well for him LOL. That's a great coincidence, and an 8-9 year old is typically old enough to recognize it as such (as opposed to thinking that every time he loses a DS there will be a check coming in the mail). ETA: Maybe he can also purchase a bag that secures differently. My kids never secure a zipbag, but they do better with drawstring bags that they can sling over their shoulders. It immediately registers in their minds if the bag is fully closed (or not). Mine carries his around in Crown bag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rockermom Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Mine carries his around in Crown bag. LOL, I don't drink, but I've used those to carry microphones and many other itmes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I would let him. Either way, he is experiencing a consequence of losing something. He will have to forfeit something else that he wanted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I did. My son's ds broke (his fault) a few months ago. With his birthday money, he bought himself a brand new DSi with the disclaimer that, if he lost or broke it, it was on him to fix it or buy another one. I do think it is sweet of your son to want to replace his sister's game as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in FL Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Nope, neither is my vote. In my house he would have just proved that he was not old enough to take care of something that expensive. I would have him spend his birthday money to replace dd's game and then tell him to save the money for another DS down the road. I would wait at least 6 months before I let him purchase another. By then he will hopefully show that he is more responsible. He would then use his money for the purchase and it would be an at home game ONLY. That new DS would not be allowed to leave the house for another 6 months. My kids aren't allowed to take their DS's further than the car. They can bring them and play them in the car for long rides only. If we stop for anything the system stays in the car. I just think DS's are to pricey to be carrying all over the place like I see a lot of kids do. I know it may seem harsh, but I really think if you let him replace it right away you will eventually be replacing his cell phone, ipod, and every other electric gadget he has for the next 11 years. BTW, My kids are 5, 8, and 13. 5yr old will get a DS this Christmas. 8 and 13 year old have never lost any of their gaming stuff, they are very careful with them. I don't have to helicopter them because they don't take them somewhere where they can get lost. DS 13 also has a cell phone. He is very careful with it and has never misplaced it. JMHO Melissa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 I would make sure he replaced his sister's game that he lost first and if he has the money for both, then yes I would let him buy it. I would make sure he understood he could have bought something else he really wanted if he hadn't lost his DS. IMO everyone should be allowed to spend birthday money however they please. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Nope, neither is my vote. In my house he would have just proved that he was not old enough to take care of something that expensive. I would have him spend his birthday money to replace dd's game and then tell him to save the money for another DS down the road. I would wait at least 6 months before I let him purchase another. By then he will hopefully show that he is more responsible. He would then use his money for the purchase and it would be an at home game ONLY. That new DS would not be allowed to leave the house for another 6 months. Ahh, a woman after my own heart. LOL. Exactly why I said to me it isn't a matter of whether he pays for it with his birthday money or money he saves up later. I wouldn't let him buy a new one the day after losing the old one. I lean more towards letting the natural consequence be that he doesn't have one for a good long time. Of course he still needs to replace his sister's game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 Yes, I would, unless you normally don't allow him to spend his birthday money. And I think it was pretty mature of him to think of replacing his sister's game on his own - - I'd certainly require that, but not anything beyond that. Honestly, I do think parents are sometimes too hard on kids when they lose or break something. Of course I would not replace a pricey luxury item, but why would you not allow him to do it with his own money? My (grown) sister lost her camera because she set it on the ice machine at the hotel when getting ice. My friend dropped her cell phone in a pond. It happens, y'know? And if you want to replace the item, you have to use money that you could have spent on something else, or wait till you have enough. Using his birthday money on this instead of 'new' stuff is a logical consequence, imo. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to brainstorm memory triggers for zipping up that bag! ((one thing I find helpful is to use DEEP bags for this kind of stuff; items are less likely to fall out that way)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom3tn Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 My DS is careless and irresponsible with his things. Because of this, I do not buy expensive gifts for him. The last "nice" gift I gave him was a digital camera, which used to be mine and I had gotten a new one. It actually lasted longer than I thought it would, almost a year, but now it's broken. He dropped it too many times. He has a DS and several games, but he saved up his own money and bought them himself. I find that he is a bit more careful with things that he has bought with his own money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bunnytracks Posted October 13, 2009 Share Posted October 13, 2009 My son lost his DS a few years back and I did not buy him a new one until he saved the money to pay for 1/2 of it. Once he saved the money then I bought him a new one and he was able to keep the money he saved too. I just wanted to see if he would work for it. He didnt get Bday money though in the mail. Whatever you do I would not make it super easy on him because eventually he is not going to have you there to remind him to zip things up and we need to make sure that our children learn the lessons when they are young and we are there to help soften the blow. I also think he should have to pay to get his sister a new game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scuff Posted October 14, 2009 Share Posted October 14, 2009 As someone who was always loosing or forgetting things and has an absentminded daughter, whether or not he gets a new DS, he needs help learning how to keep track of things. Either way, teach the poor kid how to do it. Consequences won't help completely. He knows it sucks to loose things and he probably tries hard at times to do better. His brain just can't quite make the connections. Routines, to-do lists, bags with straps, visually so we can see it and remember, are all things that help. And absolute consistancy and reminding for probably way too long. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 (edited) It wouldn't be so important to me HOW he paid for it but I wouldn't let him buy one right away. I'd make him wait and experience life without it first. Let him see what it feels like to lose something and not have it. Buying a new one the next day doesn't teach him much of anything, IMO. I like this idea....however, I'd require that he replace his sister's game immediately....she shouldn't have to wait because of his carelessness. It won't be much fun for him to spend HIS birthday money on a game for her that now he can't even borrow because he doesn't have a system to play it on. I think I'd probably go so far as to not allow him to borrow her system during his period of suffering either....that would also defeat the purpose. I'd probably also have to remind sister about lending to someone who is careless....she got lucky that he now has the money available to replace her game so quickly, instead of having to wait for him to earn the money. This is a lesson for both of them....she may not be so quick to lend to him in the future. Edited October 15, 2009 by ConnieB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted October 15, 2009 Share Posted October 15, 2009 I would require him to replace his sister's game (the way I understand it, he lost one of hers?). Then I would ask him to wait one week before making his own purchase. During that time, ask him to make a list of the other things he could do with that same amount of money. You could even start him off by calculating some interest on what he'd earn if he saved it. If, after considering the options, he still wants the DS, well, it is his money. It's hard to watch our kids make what we consider reckless purchases, but hopefully they will learn from their mistakes. At least he's not crying for *you* to buy him a new one! (copied over from my reply in your original thread) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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