Finding Like Minded People?

[aready]

How hard is it for you all to find like minded people in your area? We are in the Indy area, and for whatever reason I am having a hard time. It seems as though there have GOT to be groups out there, but I haven't found them. Most here make you sign a form that says all of these things about religion, to which I just want to stay away from! Not that I'm not religious, but I don't want to have to sign a form when clearly you can either tell if people are like-minded after meeting them! I am glad there are so many groups, and it isn't that I'm necessarily looking for a secular group, but I can't find ANYTHING! I thought the hs thing would be harder for the kids because others turn their nose anyway, but I feel that within hsing people are turning their nose at classical too. What is with that? I don't want to isolate myself from an already isolated group! Ugh!

[Pongo]

We live close to Boston. It's been pretty easy. I tend to have geeky, brainiac friends. Most of my friends are long time ones, college gals. Some home-school, some don't. I haven't moved out of the area and my dh is what they call a townie (generations of families living in the same town still). It's been easy for us:)

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

I haven't had to look for groups because our church basically doubles as our like-minded homeschooling group and I forget that others, who go to church or not, don't always have that.

 

It is disappointing that there are so many condescending home schoolers out there. I'm kind of in a bubble so I wouldn't know if I stayed off the internet. :p I do hope you find some other classical educators or at least some people that respect your right and responsibility as a parent to make your own educational decisions.

[SoCal Sandra]

and that has provided us with the like minded associations we had been looking for. It is a welcome addition to our homeschooling. :001_smile:

[TKDmom]

I feel the same way. I tried to sign my dd up for art classes with a local co-op this year. But they required a statement of faith, which I could not, in good conscience, sign. Please tell me, what do my views on the Bible have to do with your ability to teach my daughter to draw? If anything , they should be welcoming the opportunity to try to convince us of the error of our ways. ;)

[Lovedtodeath]

There is a group on the west side (hendricks county) that is mostly social.

 

I have a hard time because I have a toddler. Museum trips and even park days are too hard for me. You want to hang out in my house or fenced in yard let me know!

[Jayne J]

If you figure out the secret let me know--are all the other classical hsers hiding?? Heck, I can hardly find other hsers of any stripe. The few I do know tend to be conservative Protestant "School-at-homers" (none of which, by they way, I am criticizing. I am just doing things differently.) But to say that I am a classical/Cm hser earns looks of vague suspicion.

 

It gets pretty darn lonely. Thank goodness for the Hive.:001_smile:

[tdeveson]

Chances are that you're not alone -- there are others out there who are looking for a group too.

 

I had the same problem here in my neck of the woods. All the existing groups are uber-religious. Even the "all-inclusive" group in our area takes its marching orders from the HSLDA. Our local co-ops require a statement of faith, and if you're not an evangelical Christian, or willing to pretend that you are, they won't allow your children to participate.

 

In the end, I hooked up with a friend who was in a similar situation and we started our own secular support and enrichment group two years ago. We thought it would be a group of two, but we were mistaken. As soon as the website was up and we'd registered our group with five or six large homeschool sites, we started getting emails. Most of them started with, "Oh, my God! I can't believe you people are here. I thought we were the only ones!"

 

We currently have 84 families registered. Only a fraction participate in our weekly activities, but that still adds up. And every year we meet one or two new families that turn into keeper friends. You can't beat that with a stick.

 

Sometimes, when you need something, the only solution is to make it yourself. :)

Edited October 2, 2009 by tdeveson

[kls126s]

and that has provided us with the like minded associations we had been looking for. It is a welcome addition to our homeschooling. :001_smile:

 

:iagree: - my answer exactly.

[forevergrace]

I couldn't agree more w/hs groups and field trips. I know of one mother who is constantly organizing, doing and going. I once asked her (three years ago) when did she do actual school work w/her children. Needless to say, she hates me.

 

I too have had great difficulty finding others who are teaching classical education, and are not in a direct religious organization requiring a statement of belief.

 

The hs group we belong to is free to all beliefs, however, the majority practice unschooling. I posted either on this site or another, about the time I mention that I was teaching classical ed. at hs park day. You would of thought I had leprosy after that. Which, irks me royally! The question I would like to know is that if I'm suppose to respect others and their choices how come some of these groups are so narrow minded?

 

We do have several friends that also teach the classical ed. Mostly we do things with them. Sometimes when we do visit park, really infrequent due to the fact that we have school work and other activities (ballet, etc.) I don't mention how I teach, and sadly keep conversation w/adults at a minimum. I mean, it sort of turns into a contest of who is doing better anyway. Less defensive attitudes for all and much happier children.

 

Enough of ranting!!!!

Forevergrace

[momto2blessings]

I'm part of an Indy group that is very Christian. I do know there is a Classical Conversations group in Plainfield----but don't know if you have to sign anything. I also heard there is more of a secular, playdate type group around Plainfield. Hope you can find a good fit! Have you tried your IAHE regional reps for info.? :)Gina

[jazzyfizzle]

We are in your same shoes! Where is everyone? Our only choice that I know, also requires that statement of faith. I absolutely have faith, but not going to sign someone's paper, that just seems, somehow, weird to me.

A friend and I have talked over that idea of starting our own little group of 2, glad to hear it has worked out and flourished for others!

[Zebra]

We are in your same shoes! Where is everyone? Our only choice that I know, also requires that statement of faith. I absolutely have faith, but not going to sign someone's paper, that just seems, somehow, weird to me.

 

 

I completely agree with that sentiment! I will not sign something. Even if I totally agree with it!!! I dislike that whole mentality so much.

[Trixie]

Even the "all-inclusive" group in our area takes its marching orders from the HSLDA.

 

Wow, that's pretty scary.

 

Sometimes, when you need something, the only solution is to make it yourself. :)

 

I second this. It usually takes a while to develop a consistent group, but if you build it .... ;)

[Osaubi]

I belong to 2 different co-ops. They are in different parts of town, both are secular, and both are very different.

 

The one south of us is mostly unschoolers, and I got the feeling early on that you don't talk about any type of learning at home. I tend to talk about the weather or the things that are going on in class. I am currently co-teaching one class, and teaching another in that group. We did end up taking a pretty full day of classes at this co-op.

 

The one north of us is really open about all things including homeschooling. There is a good mix of people that do all sorts of things, and they are not afraid to talk about what kind of school they do at home. They will not judge you either way. It has been really nice to interact with this group.

 

It took me years to find these groups. I just kept my eyes and ears open for something secular.

 

I still have not any classical homeschoolers though.

[Renee in NC]

It seems to me that the classical schoolers I have met are too busy doing school to do too much together.

 

My group has a statement of faith - you *have* to acknowledge it, but not sign it. I cannot sign it, so I cannot teach or lead. I am okay with that at this time so that my dc can have the activities that they do.

[Crimson Wife]

The one classical ed group in my area has a Statement of Faith that I would gladly sign except for one single word. I've got friends who belong to the same denomination as me who've gone ahead and signed just to join the group. They keep telling me that there's no bias in the group against our church but why would the SoF have that word except as an attempt to keep us out? :confused:

 

I'm not going to sign something I don't believe in just to join a "support" group.

[Renee in NC]

The one classical ed group in my area has a Statement of Faith that I would gladly sign except for one single word. I've got friends who belong to the same denomination as me who've gone ahead and signed just to join the group. They keep telling me that there's no bias in the group against our church but why would the SoF have that word except as an attempt to keep us out? :confused:

 

I'm not going to sign something I don't believe in just to join a "support" group.

 

I have the one word issue, too. I don't know if we have the same issue or not, but I feel your pain. I don't know that they did it specifically to exclude my religion, so I will assume the best.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

Quote:

The hs group we belong to is free to all beliefs, however, the majority practice unschooling. I posted either on this site or another, about the time I mention that I was teaching classical ed. at hs park day. You would of thought I had leprosy after that. Which, irks me royally! The question I would like to know is that if I'm suppose to respect others and their choices how come some of these groups are so narrow minded?

 

Hah, funny. I have had similar experiences so now I say "a little of this or that" when asked what we do for school. I find that discussing homeschooling styles is worse than discussing personal religious beliefs.

This has been bugging me recently. I just. don't. get it.

 

We seem to have some decent unschoolers around these forums though, don't we? I've run across some downright snarky ones though. Are there snarky classical homeschoolers out there as well and I just don't know it because of my similar educational leanings?:confused:

[StartingOver]

I have found like minded group in Alaska, Montana and Nevada. But all the years that I have homeschooled in South Texas, I have never found one. This year a girl friend and I created an all inclusive secular group on yahoo. We don't care where you come from, how you teach, or what religion you are. As long as you respect that others have different beliefs from you and can respect that.

 

It has been wonderful. I have always felt isolated in my semi large town across the bridge. Little did we know that there were over 60 families just like us. We have only been around 2 months.

 

We have a wonderful group !!! I am still in shock. We only do 2 outings a month and one parents night out. Most of us are classical and just don't have time to do more.

Edited October 3, 2009 by alatexan68

[aready]

Thanks to everyone for their responses! I had been thinking about the whole idea of starting a group myself, but wondered if others were out there. It has become clear to me that there are others and maybe they are waiting on someone else to start the group. Any ideas on what is the best way to start? Just a yahoo group? A website? Combo?

[StartingOver]

We just have a yahoo group, the key for us was to include all the names of the small towns surrounding out big town in the description. So others could find us easily. And of course including any other key words that are important to you. Our are all inclusive, secular, homeschool, field trips, support, etc.

[smrtmama]

How hard is it for you all to find like minded people in your area? We are in the Indy area, and for whatever reason I am having a hard time. It seems as though there have GOT to be groups out there, but I haven't found them. Most here make you sign a form that says all of these things about religion, to which I just want to stay away from! Not that I'm not religious, but I don't want to have to sign a form when clearly you can either tell if people are like-minded after meeting them! I am glad there are so many groups, and it isn't that I'm necessarily looking for a secular group, but I can't find ANYTHING! I thought the hs thing would be harder for the kids because others turn their nose anyway, but I feel that within hsing people are turning their nose at classical too. What is with that? I don't want to isolate myself from an already isolated group! Ugh!

 

 

Try http://www.secularhomeschool.com. They have groups for each state and a few international groups. You might find exactly what you're looking for!

[tdeveson]

It usually takes a while to develop a consistent group, but if you build it .... ;)

 

 

...The will come! ;)

[tdeveson]

My group has a statement of faith - you *have* to acknowledge it, but not sign it. I cannot sign it, so I cannot teach or lead. I am okay with that at this time so that my dc can have the activities that they do.

 

This always confuses me about Christians. Not judging, just wondering if Jesus would also have excluded people that didn't think like him. Just an opinion from an outsider.

Edited October 3, 2009 by tdeveson

[tdeveson]

Thanks to everyone for their responses! I had been thinking about the whole idea of starting a group myself, but wondered if others were out there. It has become clear to me that there are others and maybe they are waiting on someone else to start the group. Any ideas on what is the best way to start? Just a yahoo group? A website? Combo?

 

Build a website - I didn't do a Yahoo group, but the front page of a Yahoo Group would work just as well as a website initially.

 

Then, do a Google search on Homeschool Support Groups. The first couple of pages will include tons of websites where they keep local lists. Register your group and use keywords such as all the towns and neighborhoods near you, the words "secular," "homeschool," and "support group" or some combination of that.

 

Find your state's largest umbrella group and register your website there also.

 

Email all your local groups and ask them to mail your "new homeschool group" notice to their members. Some will refuse, many will forward it. I forward all such notices to my members. The more the merrier.

 

Once you have a few registrants, begin writing weekly. Try to email them something of value at least once a week. You know the kind of stuff you want to hear about -- B&N Educator week discounts, theater, etc.

 

As soon as you have your first member, start meeting at the park and start going on field trips. Email your field trip invitations to your other local groups. Ditto on some refusing and most forwarding them.

 

If you are participating in any activities with other groups, have free business cards printed at VistaPrint or wherever and give them out like candy. Make sure you include your phone number, email address and the url of your Yahoo group or website.

 

Eventually, the local groups will start emailing *you* and at that point, you know you've arrived.

 

To the extent that you want more information on how we did it, feel free to PM me. I'm always happy to help other secular groups form.

Edited October 3, 2009 by tdeveson

[StartingOver]

This always confuses me about Christians. Not judging, just wondering if Jesus would also have excluded people that didn't think like him. Just an opinion from an outsider.

 

 

I agree, this has always confused me too. A few of the groups here claim to be all inclusive, but the don't know the definition of the words.

[tdeveson]

The one classical ed group in my area has a Statement of Faith that I would gladly sign except for one single word. I've got friends who belong to the same denomination as me who've gone ahead and signed just to join the group. They keep telling me that there's no bias in the group against our church but why would the SoF have that word except as an attempt to keep us out? :confused:

 

 

 

What's the word?

[jec3113]

I''m lost on what "the word" is also????? I have never read anyone's statement of faith b/c I would never join a group that required one.

 

Also, I really don't understand the snarky stuff. We are all "different" b/c we homeschool so why turn on each other b/c we teach different ways?! Isn't that the point of homeschooling...to do what works for your family?!

 

We are having a hard time with the friends issue as well. This is our first year and our "old" friends are slowly falling by the wayside. Who knows why...and the group we have found is an hour away. So, we are only doing the occasional field trip, not the weekly stuff. Makes it hard to really make friends with other homeschoolers. The local group requires one of those statements! LOL

[Lovedtodeath]

 

This always confuses me about Christians. Not judging, just wondering if Jesus would also have excluded people that didn't think like him. Just an opinion from an outsider.

Um, yes actually. One example: He told someone that if he wanted to be his follower and travel with him then he should give his belongings to the poor. The man refused, and Jesus left. He also told his disciples that he gave sermons with illustrations that were hard to understand because the majority listening to the sermons did not have the right motivation.

[Lovedtodeath]

 

Thanks to everyone for their responses! I had been thinking about the whole idea of starting a group myself, but wondered if others were out there. It has become clear to me that there are others and maybe they are waiting on someone else to start the group. Any ideas on what is the best way to start? Just a yahoo group? A website? Combo?

I am very interested! I am only up for easy things... and I won't attend if the group meets at a church. That is one reason why I don't have a group. The two inclusive, mostly social groups around here have their meetings at churches.:confused:

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

The one classical ed group in my area has a Statement of Faith that I would gladly sign except for one single word. I've got friends who belong to the same denomination as me who've gone ahead and signed just to join the group. They keep telling me that there's no bias in the group against our church but why would the SoF have that word except as an attempt to keep us out? :confused:

 

I'm not going to sign something I don't believe in just to join a "support" group.

 

I think it is sad and somewhat infuriating IMHO that groups find it necessary to have statements of faith. There are not many homeschoolers and I think we should be willing to stick together. I also think it is is bit un-Christian to try and exclude others with a statement of faith. Why not have a statement of rules and expectations instead? Why not keep activities neutral in co-op so as not to exclude and especially since most co-ops only meet 1-4 times a month in my experience.

 

SOF just make me sad and mad.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I am very interested! I am only up for easy things... and I won't attend if the group meets at a church. That is one reason why I don't have a group. The two inclusive, mostly social groups around here have their meetings at churches.:confused:

 

Churches are often willing to give space on the cheap.

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

I'm dumbfounded by this as well.

 

Unfortunately some of the people in these groups are the most narrow minded people I have ever come across. I once asked a woman why I would have to sign a statement of faith. She told me it is to keep people out who don't dress appropriately. And that those who aren't Christian swear a lot. Oh AND if it were up to her she wouldn't allow certain Christian groups in either.

 

Oh brother. That just stinks.

 

That does stink and a statement of rules and expectations could solve those problems of inappropriate dress and swearing;)

[Sara K]

We've found a couple families but nobody with any time!! We have not found a family that has time to get together.

[chiguirre]

I am very interested! I am only up for easy things... and I won't attend if the group meets at a church. That is one reason why I don't have a group. The two inclusive, mostly social groups around here have their meetings at churches.:confused:

 

:iagree: with Priscilla. Churches are a major source of free/very cheap meeting space. The only other choice is the library or community center if your town has these available. Park pavillions are a nice choice too, but only work when the temperature is moderate and there's no more than a drizzle. You get the idea...

 

Do you have to avoid the whole church complex or could you just avoid the actual place where members meet for services? For example, the parish my kids attend has a huge, separate hall for social events. It's next door to the church, but it is a separate building. I hope you can find something acceptable.

[Rebecca VA]

I don't see anything wrong with a very basic Statement of Faith for a basic Christian group. If groups want to get *more* specific than that, they should advertise themselves as "Dark Side Homeschool Moms" or "Megachurch Homeschoolers" to make it clear what kind of group they are. I wouldn't dream of trying to force my way into a homeschool group that clearly -- from its very title -- was intended for a specific subset.

 

And I do agree with Priscilla, that a statement of expectations will go a long way toward keeping friction and hurt feelings down.

 

However, the weeding-out process should be done as compassionately as possible, and with a view toward appreciating the good in other people, even if they're not exactly like you.

[elegantlion]

I've had trouble finding a group as well. We are Christians and I don't mind a simple statement of faith. I don't want to sign one that brings in politics or the creation/evolution debate. The ones in our area make that a part of their statement of faith :glare: and so I opted not to join.

[Crimson Wife]

I don't see anything wrong with a very basic Statement of Faith for a basic Christian group. If groups want to get *more* specific than that, they should advertise themselves as "Dark Side Homeschool Moms" or "Megachurch Homeschoolers" to make it clear what kind of group they are. I wouldn't dream of trying to force my way into a homeschool group that clearly -- from its very title -- was intended for a specific subset.

 

:iagree:

If your SoF is anything more than what's in the Apostles' Creed, then don't call yourself a "non-denominational Christian" group.

[Trixie]

Are there snarky classical homeschoolers out there as well and I just don't know it because of my similar educational leanings?:confused:

 

There most definitely are. I've come across my share of classical homeschoolers who treat me as though I'm uneducated and naive because we don't "do school" quite like they do. The "Mine Is the Superior Educational/Parenting Philosophy" fairy sprinkles her dust pretty evenly throughout the hsing community.

[Seraphina71]

If groups want to get *more* specific than that, they should advertise themselves as "Dark Side Homeschool Moms" or "Megachurch Homeschoolers" to make it clear what kind of group they are.

 

 

I am totally lobbying to change the name of our homeschool group to "Dark Side Homeschool Moms". Ha!

[Rebecca VA]

You do know what we mean on this board by "Dark Side," don't you? It means over-enthusiastic Reformed Theology thinking.

[Lovedtodeath]

Churches are often willing to give space on the cheap.

Yes, I am aware of that. Our community center is closing this winter. :( The group I was in said that the library was not good because the group would often be too roudy or loud.

 

I will have to admit I only made it to 2 park days. I have health problems and simply can't chase my 2 year old around a huge park with no fence. I did request meeting somewhere other than the church to no avail.

 

Do you have to avoid the whole church complex or could you just avoid the actual place where members meet for services? For example, the parish my kids attend has a huge, separate hall for social events. It's next door to the church, but it is a separate building. I hope you can find something acceptable.

I wish it were that simple. I do not want to risk confusing my children by "going to" a church.

[carol]

Wow-things are so different here in Alabama.

 

In order to homeschool one must either be a certified teacher

or join a church covering. Like joining a curch you must state

you are a believer so most coverings require a statement of

Faith since your joining this ministry though you may not

be a part of the church. Most activities are done through

coverings. I'd find it odd not to sign a statement of faith,

it'd be like asking to join a church and not be a believer here.

[Matryoshka]

Wow-things are so different here in Alabama.

 

In order to homeschool one must either be a certified teacher

or join a church covering. Like joining a curch you must state

you are a believer so most coverings require a statement of

Faith since your joining this ministry though you may not

be a part of the church. Most activities are done through

coverings. I'd find it odd not to sign a statement of faith,

it'd be like asking to join a church and not be a believer here.

 

WOW.

 

I notice HSLDA has Alabama as a "low regulation" state? But I guess it would be totally illegal for me, or any other secular non-certified teacher to homeschool there (this would include almost all the hsers I know IRL). But I can homeschool in my "high-regulation" state without a whit of difficulty. huh. :001_huh: Apparently to the HSLDA, regulations are just fine as long as they only apply to people who have a problem signing narrowly defined statements of faith. :glare: Why in heavens name should anyone need a higher level of certification to teach their children just because they don't belong to a church?? That is flat-out religious discrimination.

[pageta]

This always confuses me about Christians. Not judging, just wondering if Jesus would also have excluded people that didn't think like him. Just an opinion from an outsider.

 

Well, take it in context of society today. We have the ACLU running around making public institutions take down the ten commandments and not have nativity scenes, etc. So I think it's sort of a knee-jerk reaction to being told to keep your faith to yourself and don't mention it to anybody all the time. The people who start these groups simply want a place where they can go and be Christian and believe in creation and not be given grief about it, so they create a group specifically for like-minded people.

 

Is homeschooling really about Christian faith and believing in creation? No. We all certainly could mix together and benefit from each others company, and 98% of the time, those topics probably wouldn't be a problem. So it does seem rather unChristian to have such rules. But I certainly understand where they come from.

[jujsky]

It took me 2 years to find a group that was decent. Even then, there were a lot more unschoolers/relaxed homeschoolers in our group than classical or school-at-homers. A like-minded friend of mine and I broke off from the group and started our own, small group. We advertised on some local homeschooling boards and were very specific about what we were looking for. We met a few other moms, and all experienced this huge sense of relief that there were others out there like us (not focused on religion, yet not unschoolers/relaxed homeschoolers). I'm not saying it's bad to be religious or an unschooler, but it is very difficult to NOT be in either of those camps when you're a homeschooler and those 2 groups make up the majority!

 

I'd think about what you want to gain out of a group and start your own. Like I said, ours is small (5 families) but it's the perfect size to do field-trips, group activities, and projects. We meet once/week and it's been wonderful!