swellmomma Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Well a bed has opened up for dd. Monday morning at 9 am we drop her off and have a 1.5 hour intake in the children's mental health ward. I went through this 5 years ago this same week for my son, but now it is her turn. She goes in for 2-3 weeks coming home only on weekends to undergo full assessment, and testing and a chance to figure out meds in a controlled environment. It helped having my son there 5 years ago and I know it can help her but it still feels like I have failed her to have to admit her like this. One of the outcomes to this testing/assessment is the recommendation that she attends an intensive behaviour therapy program at the rehab hospital. That would means school there in the am with therapy all afternoon. I have mixed feelings about it as it would mean putting homeschooling for her on hold for at least 6 months BUT the end result could be life changing for her for the better. We want to help her before it is too late kwim. At this point she has been diagnosed with ADHD and conduct disorder. Conduct disorder has a grim prognosis, in adults it is labelled Antisocial personality disorder. She is a brilliant child and I want her to have the best chance at a good life, but this is still breaking my heart thinking about dropping her off there and driving away, unable to see her until Friday afternoon. I have a busy weekend ahead of me getting her laundry done, packing her stuff, finishing getting my house ready for my dayhome interviews I have next week and just spending time with her in preparation for Monday when all I really want to do is sit down and cry for being unable to help my daughter enough to keep her out of the mental health ward. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mabeline Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: You are doing what's best for her, you are getting her the help that she needs. You haven't failed her. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
3lilreds in NC Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: Brandy, Mabeline is right. The only way you'd be failing her would be to deny her the help she needs. You're doing the right thing, the best thing for her and your family. I'm sorry you're going through this, sweetie. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Etkids Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loupelou Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 My brother was diagnosed with Antisocial Personality Disorder, but it took 30+ years. You should feel really good that you are getting your daughter the help she needs now rather than later when perhaps she has not only made a mess of her own life but the lives of those she loves as well. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I went through this 15 years ago with my dd -- you are doing what is best for dd and yes, it hurts, and of course all you want to do is sit down and cry...:grouphug:...I have no advice...and I've btdt........try to be kind to yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillieBoy Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: I can not put myself in your shoes but I can offer you hugs from a mom, the toughest job in the world. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I am SO very sorry. I hope and pray the best outcome possible. It's a brave, strong, WARRIOR mom who steps out to do something so hard, yet necessary to do what's best for your daughter. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TulaneMama Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 many hugs mama. you ARE there for her by getting her the help she needs. you sound very strong to me and she is lucky to have a mama like you. HUGS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: Health is way more important than education. (And, I'm a big fan of education.) And, hopefully the way you're teaching her, she'll want to learn new things the rest of her life. It took me almost 10 years after being out of school to have the desire to read a history book. My love of learning remained intact for most other subjects, but dry history books did me in for quite a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: This may not sound right, but I want you to know that I'm happy for you. Doctors have refused to give my son's stepbrother a CD diagnosis because of his age, but he has it. Without the dx, he's getting very little help, and they are left to muddle through. Talk about failing a child! You, otoh, are obviously doing everything possible to help your daughter and give her the best possible outcome, with professionals who are ready to help. That's to be commended! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I am SO very sorry. I hope and pray the best outcome possible. It's a brave, strong, WARRIOR mom who steps out to do something so hard, yet necessary to do what's best for your daughter.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: :iagree::iagree: :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you. It is so wonderful that you dd is able to get the help she needs. You are doing the right thing for her. I am sending prayers your way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
camibami Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: I wish I had helpful advice, but I don't. Being a mom is so hard! Praying she gets the help she needs and you can be strong for her. I'm so sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: Love you, Brandy! I am sending you my strength! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 This is TOUGH. We have not had to do inpatient but my 13dd has bipolar along with many other delays, medical issues, etc. The mental health stuff is the hardest. As you know though, finding out what is really going on and getting the right meds can be life changing. Does your son have something similar? If so, they might want to run some genetic tests. My girls both have POLG-1 a mitochondrial disorder which causes some mental health issues. As hard as it is to put her education on hold for now, getting her the help she needs now is much more important. She can catch up later once she is more stable. Keep us posted. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 I'm so sorry! I hope her stay gives you answers. And I want to thank you for being a strong momma who does what's right for her girl. I've seen so many cases where the opposite is true. Hang in there, honey. This too in time shall pass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ruby Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Crying is okay. Just keep swimming!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheezie Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 strength and peace to you!:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Lots of hugs Brandy, :grouphug: it's never easy being a parent, and harder yet when there are issues. And i'd be apt to see if they can run some genetics test like Ottakee mentioned, you just never know. My DD's genetic condition surprises everyone since she has almost ZERO outward appearances of it (some if you know and are looking), but has all the issues in her wiring that go along with it. I know your hands are probably tied a bit on what you can suggest too - but it can't hurt. I'd probably also try to demand an Auditory Processing Testing (everything the doc said was why my middle child is ADHD, is a direct result of her APD & Sensory Integration issues. Seriously. Every. Single. One.) and full sensory evals by an OT. Hang in there though, you are a good mom for this. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessed2fosteradopt Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 Brandy, I will be praying for you and your dd. :grouphug: You're a wonderful mom, don't forget that! Blessings, Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elfgivas Posted August 8, 2009 Share Posted August 8, 2009 where is that tea and chocolate icon when you need it most??!! even doing the right thing (which this is) can be very, very hard, so here is you - a sad angel.... but an angel nevertheless. :angelsad2: :grouphug: ann Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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