How to address this with PS teachers?

[HeatherLynn]

DD is still in PS, as she wanted to finish her year out. They have this thing where if they missed so many days, they have to come back for 10 days of summer school. Well, DD had Whooping cough and missed 9 days of school, so she has to go. DD is very upset about it, so I decided I would withdraw her the last official day of school. She let her teachers know she would not be there (I wish she had not, it is none of their concern). Her teachers kind of ganged up on her telling her "fine, we'll see you in the 5th grade again next year". DD told them she was going to be homeschooled until college. To that they replied with different remarks about her having to come back and do 5th grade again or she wouldn't get into college, about how homeschooling will make her be behind the other kids, and how she won't grow up to be what she wants to be if she is homeschooled. DD was not shaken so much, just wanted me to reassure her they were wrong.

 

Now, what do I say to them? Their principal is out so he is not an option. (He flaked out and disappeared Monday...to be found Tuesday wandering in a bookstore in Waco. So, there is NO principal or assistant. VERY small school.)

 

She wants to do the spring musical and field day or I'd just pull her out now.

 

I am so angry with these teachers who are obviously uneducated in HS.

[elegantlion]

I'd be tempted to pull her out now. If they are that ignorant about homeschooling and will gang up on a child I wouldn't leave her in that environment. (HUGS), how frustrating.

 

their comments, especially the one about not growing up to be what she wanted, would chap my hide (that's what I can type, really it's more).

 

:grouphug:

[PiCO]

Her teachers kind of ganged up on her telling her "fine, we'll see you in the 5th grade again next year"... different remarks about her having to come back and do 5th grade again or she wouldn't get into college, about how homeschooling will make her be behind the other kids, and how she won't grow up to be what she wants to be if she is homeschooled.

 

This is so not OK.

 

If I were in your place, I would leave a phone message in a very calm voice that you need to have a meeting with these teachers ASAP.

 

I would start the meeting by saying, "I'm sure my daughter misunderstood what you said to her, but she is very upset and I want to clear this up as quickly as possible." Go on to explain what your dd said, and see what they say. Chances are they will try to say that your dd misunderstood, or they were joking, or whatever. Then ask them to please explain this misunderstanding to your daughter, so she won't be so upset. After all, you want her to leave public school on a positive note...

 

If these teachers insist that your daughter will be permanently ruined by being homeschooled, there's probably no hope for them. Just say you don't believe that to be true, especially since top colleges now specifically recruit homeschoolers, so you will take your chances. ;) "However, I would appreciate it if you stopped harrassing my child, as the decision to homeschool is mine, not hers."

[HeatherLynn]

Yeah, but I WILL not break DD heart by not allowing her to be in the first musical she has a part in. It is Thursday night, Friday is the last day of official school. I guess I will pull her out friday. I feel like these teachers need an education in HS.

[Love2Smile]

I think a good "tire slashing" is in order! LOL

 

Well I'd be very upset...but consider the source and this is part of the reason you want to homeschool, because of the idiots in public school in charge of our kids...chalk it up to ignorant people and move on...

[Nicole M]

Oh! I hate bullying! It's astonishing to me how much bullying goes on in schools by the teachers! I have witnessed it time and again.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

I would march right in there and get in the face of the teachers and politely tell them they were wrong. Bullys always back down in the face of an adult.

[Peggy in Va]

I really dislike ignorant people. These teachers were sooo wrong in their approach. Perhaps they truly are concerned for your daughters well being; however, their delivery really stinks.

 

That said, if I were you, I would let dd do the show. Let her have her moment to shine.

 

However, I think I would be highly inclined to have a few very choice, hopefully calmly spoken, words with each of them. Something along the lines of, (this part said in a very sweet, sugar wouldn't melt in your mouth voice) Ms. ____, I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your concern about my daughters well being and education; however, (voice becomes more stern, looking straight in her eyes, with a single eyebrow raised for emphasis - picture Scarlett turning and looking at Rhett) I really think in the future it would be better for EVERYONE involved if you expressed your concerns directly to me. After all, we wouldn't want to create a situation where dd was completely opposed to the idea of ever returning to ps, would we.

 

Even if you don't say anything to them directly, you can always just run through the above lines a few times. Either you'll feel better, or you'll get so irritated with them you won't be able to stop yourself from confronting them.:)

[mom4him]

I have learned that many, not all, but many ps teachers are very threatened by homeschoolers. Job security?

I would not pull her until her program is over. That would be heartbreaking to most little girls. I would make a personal visit to the school on Monday with a letter for each of the teachers informing them of what you had been told about their uninformed information given to your dd by 'educated' teachers. I would let them to understand that if there are any more conversations of this nature before school is out you will go to the school board.

[tex-mex]

Technically, you have the right to write a letter to the Superintendent of the School District -- describing what took place with your daughter (politely -- no emotions, just the facts) and how unprofessional the actions of the teachers were. In the letter, ask to have a copy of your letter placed in the teacher(s) employee file. If you want to push it via a lawyer, you can join HSLDA and get them to write a letter too.

 

http://www.hslda.org/Default.asp?bhcp=1

 

However, this may end up being a battle of words and nip you in the bud with homeschooling. Be careful and don't let ps officials harass your family.

[Erica in PA]

DD is still in PS, as she wanted to finish her year out. They have this thing where if they missed so many days, they have to come back for 10 days of summer school. Well, DD had Whooping cough and missed 9 days of school, so she has to go. DD is very upset about it, so I decided I would withdraw her the last official day of school. She let her teachers know she would not be there (I wish she had not, it is none of their concern). Her teachers kind of ganged up on her telling her "fine, we'll see you in the 5th grade again next year". DD told them she was going to be homeschooled until college. To that they replied with different remarks about her having to come back and do 5th grade again or she wouldn't get into college, about how homeschooling will make her be behind the other kids, and how she won't grow up to be what she wants to be if she is homeschooled. DD was not shaken so much, just wanted me to reassure her they were wrong.

 

Now, what do I say to them? Their principal is out so he is not an option. (He flaked out and disappeared Monday...to be found Tuesday wandering in a bookstore in Waco. So, there is NO principal or assistant. VERY small school.)

 

She wants to do the spring musical and field day or I'd just pull her out now.

 

I am so angry with these teachers who are obviously uneducated in HS.

 

Though I think the teachers are certainly wrong for their negative comments, and that their response was uncalled for, I think it probably didn't help things that, in a way, it might have appeared to them that you were using homeschooling as a way to get out of fulfilling school policy. If the policy is that if you miss a certain number of days, you have to do 10 days of summer school, it may have been better to fulfill that requirement, then begin homeschooling after that. And as you said, it would have been better if your dd had not mentioned all of this to the teachers. Though I'm sure your dd didn't mean it this way, it may have sounded to them like, "Well I don't care what the policy is, I am not coming for the extra 10 days because my mom is pulling me out to homeschool on the last official day of school!!" I can see how that could be irritating to the teachers, from their viewpoint. Now again, I think the teachers were totally wrong for being rude and critical of homeschooling, but I would be prepared for the principal or whoever else you talk to, to possibly have a problem with what you were doing, as well.

[tex-mex]

Though I think the teachers are certainly wrong for their negative comments, and that their response was uncalled for, I think it probably didn't help things that, in a way, it might have appeared to them that you were using homeschooling as a way to get out of fulfilling school policy. If the policy is that if you miss a certain number of days, you have to do 10 days of summer school, it may have been better to fulfill that requirement, then begin homeschooling after that. And as you said, it would have been better if your dd had not mentioned all of this to the teachers. Though I'm sure your dd didn't mean it this way, it may have sounded to them like, "Well I don't care what the policy is, I am not coming for the extra 10 days because my mom is pulling me out to homeschool on the last official day of school!!" I can see how that could be irritating to the teachers, from their viewpoint. Now again, I think the teachers were totally wrong for being rude and critical of homeschooling, but I would be prepared for the principal or whoever else you talk to, to possibly have a problem with what you were doing, as well.

 

:iagree: That was my concern too. Contact HSLDA or THSC for advice.

[Remudamom]

Dang, I wouldn't consider sending her to summer school. If she must be in the play, so be it, but then you need to Mama Bear up and tear into those teachers.

[Delighted3]

then I would give her a lesson in "Pass the bean dip, please." :001_smile: If you haven't been around these boards for long, it means don't engage or change the subject. She doesn't have to talk to teachers about the future or summer school or defend your choices. She can just do what is necessary to finish out the year. As a matter of fact, I would tell her to talk to her teachers about the future as little as possible and if questioned about the future just to give a vague answer like "You'll have to check with my Mom about that."

 

If you feel the need to address the comments from the teachers, I would wait until you go to withdraw, although I doubt it will do any good. If it were me, I would finish out the year and go withdraw my child happily and not look back while doing the best job homeschooling and enjoying a great relationship with dd. In the end, that would give me greater satisfaction than arguing with a self serving bureaucracy.

 

In the meantime, I would just reassure her that you are making the decision that you think is best for your family and not everyone will agree with it, but that's OK.

JMO,

Joy

[johnandtinagilbert]

Though I think the teachers are certainly wrong for their negative comments, and that their response was uncalled for, I think it probably didn't help things that, in a way, it might have appeared to them that you were using homeschooling as a way to get out of fulfilling school policy. If the policy is that if you miss a certain number of days, you have to do 10 days of summer school, it may have been better to fulfill that requirement, then begin homeschooling after that. And as you said, it would have been better if your dd had not mentioned all of this to the teachers. Though I'm sure your dd didn't mean it this way, it may have sounded to them like, "Well I don't care what the policy is, I am not coming for the extra 10 days because my mom is pulling me out to homeschool on the last official day of school!!" I can see how that could be irritating to the teachers, from their viewpoint. Now again, I think the teachers were totally wrong for being rude and critical of homeschooling, but I would be prepared for the principal or whoever else you talk to, to possibly have a problem with what you were doing, as well.

:iagree: The teachers are definitely off base, but I'd let her finish then not look back. It's doubtful you could change the opinion of someone who would respond that way in the first place, especially to a child. Having said that, if you decide to go farther, please contact HSLDA for advice on how to proceed.

[Ohdanigirl]

I have to say that I agree with most of what Erica in Pa said, but I wouldn't send her for the ten days. More than likely she will not be doing any tpe of learning, but instead will be sitting there all day, so that the school can get that tax oney they missed out on when she was sick. Think of it as your personal boycott...hit them where it hurts.

 

If you can calmly talk to them, go ahead....I would be through the roof.

 

Danielle

[Rosie_0801]

Address it with your daughter. "Have you ever heard the world 'ignoramus,' Dear?" And a little chat about how it can be ok to ignore people in authority sometimes, except for her parents of course.

 

Rosie

[joannqn]

I don't have any advise other than to seek legal advise about her not getting credit for 5th grade.

 

There are two things that bother me about your story. The worst is that, regardless of what your daughter told them or how she said it, they are adults who should know better than to treat a child that way. It was way out of line. The other thing is the attendance policy itself. To require a child who missed school for a legitimate reason to go to summer school or fail is not right. If I had a child in that school and she got whooping cough, I'd be strongly tempted to send her to school with it. When they called me to pick up my sick child, I'd tell them that their attendance policy doesn't allow an adequate number of sick days to accommodate whooping cough so I had to send her. Really, it's policies like these that spread illnesses and cause epidemics because people feel that they can't miss school, leading Sunday school, work, etc.

[AuntieM]

I'd just let it go. At this point, confrontation would only be self-satisfying, and not necessarily in your daughter's best interest. No doubt the teachers in question are ignorant, and bullies, and misinformed.... but that is not the point. I hope you let your dd revel in tonight's show. Pull her tomorrow.

 

Forget about the 10 days of summer school. If you really are going to home school her the rest of the way to college, all anyone will really be concerned about is her high school transcript. Even if she wants to return to ps at the high school level, she will be the right age for it and an acceptable standardized test score will be what she needs.

 

Spend time hugging on her and reassuring her, let her know that those school teachers are not true educators and nurturers at heart, then don't look back. Considering the environment she appears to be leaving behind, her home school journey is destined for success!

[PiCO]

I don't have any advise other than to seek legal advise about her not getting credit for 5th grade.

 

I don't think she needs to seek legal advise, depending on the state of course. She can just finish up 5th grade and complete 6th grade next year as a homeschooler.

 

 

There are two things that bother me about your story. The worst is that, regardless of what your daughter told them or how she said it, they are adults who should know better than to treat a child that way. It was way out of line.

 

This is true, but the child is 10. Sometimes 10-yr olds misconstrue what is said or how it was said. That's why I would go in and talk to the teachers, so I didn't stay mad about what dd told me.

 

The other thing is the attendance policy itself. To require a child who missed school for a legitimate reason to go to summer school or fail is not right. If I had a child in that school and she got whooping cough, I'd be strongly tempted to send her to school with it. When they called me to pick up my sick child, I'd tell them that their attendance policy doesn't allow an adequate number of sick days to accommodate whooping cough so I had to send her. Really, it's policies like these that spread illnesses and cause epidemics because people feel that they can't miss school, leading Sunday school, work, etc.

 

I agree that this attendance policy is preposterous. I think some school districts have a lot of "no-tolerance" type policies that defy reason. What concerns me is that they are so illogical. How are children going to learn to use discretion and logic if they have to follow unreasonable rules?

 

As an example, a student in a local school was expelled because she accidently took her mother's lunch to school. She told the teachers of the mistake because her mother had a knife in the lunch, that she planned to use to cut an apple. She was expelled for having a knife at school. So this child was punished for doing the right thing- turning the "weapon" over to a teacher as soon as she noticed her mistake. All the kids in that school learned a lesson that day- don't tell the teachers anything.

[HeatherLynn]

So, what do you think about printing off a couple of articles on homeschooling and including them with their end of the year thank you card? LOL

[mrsrevmeg]

I would probably not talk to the teachers about it. I would contact the school board. The teachers would be likely to say things like how they DIDN'T say anything out of the way. Let the school officials know that the lack of professionalism in their teachers coupled with the fact that your child was being punished for being sick (not staying out for vacations or something, but a SICKNESS!!!) has led you to make the choice that your child/children will not be a part of that school system in the future. The school board may or may not actually do anything, but at least you could try.

Blessings'

Kelli

[chiguirre]

I wouldn't do anything until the end of the year. You really don't want to have this escalate with your dd still in school. I'd explain to her that her teachers feel very threatened by your decision to hs next year and that their reaction was due to their hurt feelings. Unless you have more issues, I wouldn't write a complaint. They probably feel bad enough because they know that your decision to hs reflects poorly on their performance.

 

I'd definitely ditch the summer school session. What a waste of time if your dd passed her TAKS. (And if she didn't, you'd be better off using that time to work on basic skills at home). Our ISD makes parents beg the school board for an exemption if their dc missed too much school, even with a medical excuse signed by a doctor, too! It must be a TX thing, but if I weren't already hsing it would make me want to start! It's such an absurd rule just so that they can scrape a bit more money out of the state.

[Ohdanigirl]

So, what do you think about printing off a couple of articles on homeschooling and including them with their end of the year thank you card? LOL

 

 

Great idea!

[tex-mex]

So, what do you think about printing off a couple of articles on homeschooling and including them with their end of the year thank you card? LOL

 

 

In my personal experience, as a former schoolteacher, you might be fanning the "flames" in this situation. Yes, you are correct to feel offended and the staff sounds unprofessional -- but you may be creating an invitation for upset officials to begin harassing you for homeschooling. (I've seen it happen...) Again, HSLDA or THSC would suggest for you to remain polite and steer clear of emotions for your rights to be upheld. Lowering yourself to their behavior will make things worse. And they may see the articles as reason to be more angry at your family -- their hearts may already be hardened? It is like throwing pearls before swine. Try to forgive and pray for them.

Edited May 16, 2009 by tex-mex

[tex-mex]

I'd just let it go. At this point, confrontation would only be self-satisfying, and not necessarily in your daughter's best interest. No doubt the teachers in question are ignorant, and bullies, and misinformed.... but that is not the point. I hope you let your dd revel in tonight's show. Pull her tomorrow.

 

Forget about the 10 days of summer school. If you really are going to home school her the rest of the way to college, all anyone will really be concerned about is her high school transcript. Even if she wants to return to ps at the high school level, she will be the right age for it and an acceptable standardized test score will be what she needs.

 

Spend time hugging on her and reassuring her, let her know that those school teachers are not true educators and nurturers at heart, then don't look back. Considering the environment she appears to be leaving behind, her home school journey is destined for success!

 

:iagree::iagree:

[ChristineMM]

In our school sytem we have a superintendent who is the boss of all the principals and all school staff. Do you have that? If so, go right to the superintendent with your issue.

 

No matter if the teachers hate homeschooling the issue is they, as professional adults, should not gang up on a child. They should have just heard what she said and then not said anything. It is not their place to talk her out of HSing. I would ask if they were told she would begin in a private school would such things have been said? I doubt it.

 

Yes they said false things but I would not concentrate on details of what they said and try to correct facts. Focus on the issue being adult teachers ganged up to verbally coerce a child. That in and of itself is wrong.

[HeatherLynn]

I wouldn't do anything until the end of the year. You really don't want to have this escalate with your dd still in school. I'd explain to her that her teachers feel very threatened by your decision to hs next year and that their reaction was due to their hurt feelings. Unless you have more issues, I wouldn't write a complaint. They probably feel bad enough because they know that your decision to hs reflects poorly on their performance.

 

I'd definitely ditch the summer school session. What a waste of time if your dd passed her TAKS. (And if she didn't, you'd be better off using that time to work on basic skills at home). Our ISD makes parents beg the school board for an exemption if their dc missed too much school, even with a medical excuse signed by a doctor, too! It must be a TX thing, but if I weren't already hsing it would make me want to start! It's such an absurd rule just so that they can scrape a bit more money out of the state.

 

Yes, I can appeal and plan on it. I have the letter written up and it has to be in by Tuesday. They will get me a decision on Wednesday. I don't care what they decide, she has camp and will be attending it instead. :D I guess iti s a Texas thing. So happy to be getting away from PS. I just regret not doing it sooner.