blessedmom3 Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 (edited) My husband wants me to homeschool . He just hates public school . I come from Europe where homeschooling is unheard of (moved in the US 7 yrs ago) and this idea it's kind of hard for me. Beside my children don't have friends or neighbors close to their age ( 5 , 4 , 3 and a newborn) .We went to a homeschool coop and took a few classes but it is so expensive , especially with 4 children. We also go to church where they can meet other children . However , I still think it is not enough . My children need to have friends to play with and share every day. Sometimes they say they are bored at home. With a newborn and a toddler I don't go much out. So is homeschooling still a good choice in my situation? The point is I want my children to have a good education and good socialization skills and I am not sure I can provide that at home . Not to mention how busy I am with 4 children under 5 , when do I have time to homeschool? That said , I know that being at home with me , knowing their strengths and weakness , we have an advantage . My oldest son can read chapter books now , does 1st grade Math (Horizons in fact is considered 2nd grade in PS) and knows more history and science than most schooled kids his age. I am sure you all have the same kids that are ahead . But it's not all about academics , it's also about socialization and learn how to live in a community not only in a family. Edited May 12, 2009 by blessedmom3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 My husband wants me to homeschool . He just hates public school . I come from Europe where homeschooling is unheard of (moved in the US 7 yrs ago) and this idea it's kind of hard for me. Beside my children don't have friends or neighbors close to their age ( 5 , 4 , 3 and a newborn) .We went to a homeschool coop and took a few classes but it is so expensive , especially with 4 children. We also go to church where they can meet other children . However , I still think it is not enough . My children need to have friends to play with and share every day. Sometimes they say they are bored at home. With a newborn and a toddler I don't go much out. So is homeschooling still a good choice in my situation? The point is I want my children to have a good education and good socialization skills and I am not sure I can provide that at home . Not to mention how busy I am with 4 children under 5 , when do I have time to homeschool? I can understand your questions. Here are some different perspectives: 1. I believe that the modern thinking on children and socialization is a very new idea. It hasn't been that long ago that the term wasn't even thought of. My two don't have a lot of interaction with their peers but they know how to and enjoy it when they do. They are each others BEST FRIENDS though. They know how to interact with not only children of their own age but adults, teens and small/toddler/babies. This is because of family gatherings and being exposed to all ages when they are exposed. 2. You have the say as to who they become friends by arranging occasional play times with families that have like mind as you. We really don't do this often but maybe once every couple of months, more in the summer. 3. Your dc are all very young at this point. I would just do read alouds to them and possibly start the 5 yr old on some reading if you think ready. It doesn't need to be much. There are many really good programs out there for you to follow if you want that. I don't know if you are a Christian or not but if you are the biggest thing is to pray about it alone and with your husband. Let him know your questions about it and how he would possibly help you deal with some of these. I am sure you will get plenty of responses. I hope you get some answers that will help you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pooh bear Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I'm from the UK and live in FL When dh and I first started to talk about homeschooling, I thought that there is no way I can do this. Teachers go through all that training and get paid to do it. How could I, a person who spent her two years of college down the pub most of the time, teach my son? We sent ds to pre-k and that was enough for me to see that even though I do not have have professional training, I can teach my son. At the age of 4, the school was putting a lot of emphasis on reading and writing and test taking. What ever happened to playing at the age of 4? We have recently moved, and there are no neighbors with any kids. Yes my son does get bored, but at least he can run around out side when ever he wants to. He is not couped up inside a building all day. Your kids a still so little. Take them outside and explore nature. See how many differnent types of bugs you can find. Get loads of picture books from the library. Hang around in your PJs for a day. Don't worry about formal lessons yet. There is plenty of time later when the kids are older. Just let them be kids. Just take it a month at a time. Read the boards here and ask questions. You can do this, it is just setting your mind into doing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pooh bear Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Regards socialization Do your kids talk to people at the grocery store, the mail person, people at church? Just because they are 4 or 5, does not mean that they have to socialize with people their own age. Do you talk to only people who are the same age as you? No, you have a wide group of ages you talk to. The same should happen to kids. Even if they are in school, most of the time they are not allowed to talk. Being forced into groups of the same age is not how humans in the past have socialized. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 My husband wants me to homeschool . He just hates public school . I come from Europe where homeschooling is unheard of (moved in the US 7 yrs ago) and this idea it's kind of hard for me. Honestly, I'm not sure if homeschooling is for you. I'm sure you could do it very well if you wanted to, but it seems like you don't really want to do it, and that's the most important thing. Your husband can ask you to homeschool your children, but you will be the one with all of the work, so I think it's your decision to make. Your children are still young, so you could try it for a while and see how you like it, but if you feel strongly that public school is the best place for them, homeschooling may not be the best choice. I only have one child and we have always homeschooled because I really wanted to do it, but I have to be honest with you -- it's not always easy and it's not always fun, and I do worry about the socialization issues. If I weren't completely committed to homeschooling, I would be miserable. If I only did it because it was what my husband wanted, I think we would end up in a very stressful relationship because I would resent what I was doing. In our case, homeschooling is a good choice, and if you give it a try, you might love it, too. I just don't want you to feel like a bad mother if you send your kids to school. Ultimately, you know what is best for your family. Is your oldest child scheduled to go to kindergarten in the fall? Is that why you're getting worried about all of this? If so, please try to relax. A year in public school kindergarten would probably be fine, and a year of homeschool kindergarten would be fine, too. Your children are still little, and there's plenty of time to start focusing on academics. Right now, I sense that it's more of a "wanting your kids to be normal" situation, and you feel that daily socialization (with children who aren't family members) is very important to you. Frankly, if that's what matters most to you, send your child to school. If, as a homeschooler, you try for daily interaction with lots of kids outside the family, you will be exhausted in no time. Personally, I think kids do just fine without constant interaction with same-age peers, and your children have each other for company, so I wouldn't worry.... but I'm not you, and I don't pretend to have all the answers. I just got the feeling from your post that you're being pressured into doing something you don't want to do, and that you feel is wrong for your children. Your husband can hate public schools, but unless he's going to be responsible for teaching the children, this decision really needs to be yours. Whatever you decide, good luck with it, and I'm sure you will make the best choice for your family. Of course, you are always welcome here, and we'll help you in any way we can. :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KJB Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 (edited) I believe it is a lot of work to provide socialization: more than most home schoolers admit to others or often themselves. I think educationally you can hands down, if you are up to the task and committed, provide an excellent education for your children. I only post to offer what I think is an often overlooked perspective. As an American (living in Europe at the moment, btw), I come from pioneer stock. Somewhere in my genetic makeup lingers the drive to travel, to meet new challenge, to seek out something better. I believe my choice to home school is in part an answer to the deep within me call to find a superior environment for my family. My grandparents immigrated from Europe to find opportunity. They had to be brave, hard working, independent, inspired.... They chose to go against the grain and take a huge risk. These qualities are also required to choose home schooling. As a result of my grandparents choice, their children and their children's children have benefited greatly. I can only hope that I have created such a worthy legacy. Home schooling isn't easy. The social thing only gets more complicated as your children age. Trying to school with a bunch of little kids under foot can make you nuts. Go in with your eyes open and your heart true. It won't be easy. No boat ride across the Atlantic ever was. Edited May 12, 2009 by KJB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 :grouphug: I think homeschooling is still a great choice in your situation. But I homeschool, and homeschooling is important to me. That's my bias right up front. Your children will get older. You've got your hands full with little ones. As the baby and toddler grow, they will need less intensive time and attention right about the time your oldest is ready for more intensive instruction. Homeschooling a 5 y.o. is all about following his interests and offering him enjoyable learning challenges. He really only needs an hour or so a day of instruction. You can individualize your son's, your family's, education to the point that it looks very little like sitting-at-a-desk-learning school. You can read books on the couch together, teach in the armchair while nursing the baby, do school at the park, go for nature walks to teach science (which also gets everyone out of the house, and gets you all some exercise and sun, which helps everyone feel better :) ). You can do learning activities that include the 3 & 4 y.o.'s as well. One of the keys to my success while my young guys were younger was letting them do "school" too. I gave them their own books (color books and letter tracing) and supplies (crayons and markers). The bonus: As they grow older, I gradually fold them in to the school and instruction routine. It's just a way of life for them. It's not a bad thing for the family to be the primary unit of socialization, especially for the little ones. Your children will learn appropriate behaviors from you without exposure to some of the less pleasant social behaviors you might find in school. The best way to teach our children to be involved in community is to become involved in community ourselves--volunteer work, getting to know and visit and help our neighbors, playing at the local park, attending community events. Children who participate in those kinds of community activities learn that community is made up of people of all ages, interests, abilities instead of single-age groups led by an adult in authority. But I'm probably getting ahead of myself--the first community for which a young child should be responsible for and participate in is his or her family. And you've got that covered. :) When baby is older, and the other children as well, it will feel more do-able to get out and about. I wonder if you could call the co-op and find out if there is a homeschool park day or play group in your area, or put a poster on the bulletin board to start one. Babies are portable, sometimes more so than their older brothers or sisters, lol. Can you enroll your oldest child in soccer or gymnastics or some other outside group activity? It doesn't have to be a homeschool activity, even. Maybe a mom's group or daytime play group to which you could bring your 5 y.o. would fill some of that time and meet your childrens' and your social needs. If you sat down with your husband and made a list of the needs you feel aren't being met, would that help? If you're feeling lonely, how can you fill that need? (Mom's group, weekly coffee with a friend, tea with the neighbor....) If your children are feeling lonely, how can you meet that need? (Playgroups, go to the park, set up a weekly playdate with a friend from church....) If you're feeling overwhelmed, how can you meet that need? (Teen mother's helper from your church, take a night out by yourself once in a while....) Concerned about the ability to teach your children? (Take a class, read books on education and homeschooling, find community resources to fill in the areas where you feel you need support, dh takes on a particular subject....). I'm not sure what your biggest concerns might be, so I'm just throwing out ideas, but sometimes tackling one thing at a time with another person to help you brainstorm (this board is another great brainstorming tool!) can help things feel more manageable. You can do this and turn out happy well-adjusted children with good social skills and a good education. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scrapbookbuzz Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 (edited) I understand your reluctance. Granted, I was born in the US and you are from Europe but I think I can help you a little bit. *In Europe, schools are VERY different than here in the US. Not ALL public schools here in the States are lacking, but many of them are. *When my dh mentioned homeschooling when we were first married, I thought HE was nuts! But I thought that only because I knew I would be the one teaching, didn't think I'd be able to do so, and, mainly, just didn't know anything ABOUT homeschooling! *Since then, 14.5 years ago, I have had two children, both of whom I homeschooled for awhile. And, when are kid are 0-4/5 years old, we ALL homeschool to an extent. Who teaches them how to count? Say their ABC's? To recognize the color? MOMS do. I'm sure you've already done all that. So, see, you CAN do it! Pray about it. TALK about it with your husband (hard as this is sometimes, it IS important.) And listen to the moms here...especially the more experienced moms. At the ages of your kids, lots of read-alouds and short, fun activities are fine. Build block towers with specific amounts of blocks. Have them sort laundry by color. Let the older one get out ingredients for baking and watch you measure. You've just covered math, classification (science), and home economics! :0) And find out about the Homeschool Support Groups in your area. A support group is ESSENTIAL! We're here for you! Edited May 12, 2009 by scrapbookbuzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria/ME Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 Read, read, read on homeschooling. Gather information to assure yourself this is something you can do. If you want to. Homeschooling is parenting 24/7. Very different than sending your child off to school. Make sure you are happy with the reasons you are homeschooling. Make sure you and your husband are aware that you will need some of your own space and time to have your needs met. And you know, it's not forever. You can try it and see how it goes. Family's are not static. They change. Needs change, circumstances change. Or send your kids to school for awhile and still immerse yourself in a homeschooling mentality. Observe the school. Weight the pro's and con's... ...just my scattered thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLHCO Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 It's important to remember that public schooling (large building with 200-2,000 kids divided by age and rotated through teachers/subjects) was unheard of in Europe and the US prior to the last 150+ years. It's a contrived system and a recent experiment, historically speaking. Reading about the history of how it came to be and why is one step you should take regardless of whether you ultimately decide to homeschool or not. I do not fault people for feeling the school system is the best for their family, but I do not believe it is in anyone's best interest to hand their children over to a system without knowing the purpose. As for education, you've come to the right place. If you hang out here for a bit you may realize that it is possible to give your child a better education when you do it yourself, even if you aren't the perfect teacher. A perfect education doesn't exist at school or at home. Regarding socialization, that took place through most of human history where children met in smaller groups at church, neighborhoods, group activities, family outings, etc. I'm personally not one who feels the current model of schooling is a healthy way to learn to socialize in comparison. That said, we are more isolated today without the extended family and tighter communities so some deliberate attention is at times needed, where it may not have been in the past, but that's easier than dealing with the negative social aspects of the school system, imo. Whatever you choose, I do suggest you ask questions and read books from both ends and know what you're getting into so you can choose one or the other with confidence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dangermom Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I think you've gotten some great advice here; I agree that if you're not fully on board with homeschooling, then you shouldn't do it. It's a big job that needs commitment, and it's not easy for those of us who love it and can't stand to think about giving it up. Kindergarten isn't that big a deal either way, though! IMO part of the deal when you decide to homeschool is taking on a larger responsibility for social stuff than you'd otherwise do. I try to get my kids playtime with friends at least 2x/week. We also have a couple of group classes in the afternoons. We have many friends from the neighborhood, from church, and from our homeschooling park group and I put extra effort into calling people and arranging visits. I consider that to be part of my job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
I talk to the trees Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 My children need to have friends to play with and share every day. . I read this and thought, "Wow! My dd would LOVE to have 3 siblings to play with every day!" I think siblings should be friends with each other first, then seek friends outside of the family. (I know that that is not always how it happens in real life, or in the adult world, but your children are so young that playing together should not be a problem!) It sounds as though you truly feel that public school officials could do a better job raising your kids than you can. Hogwash! You are their mother, the one who knows them best! And at such a young age, they are just learning the most basic of social skills. Having a chat with the postman or the grocery clerk provides them with more real-life information about interacting with others than sitting quietly in a classroom waiting their turn to speak ever could! Since today seems to be the day for posts about John Taylor Gatto, let me direct you to his website, where you can read- online, free of charge- An Underground History of American Education. It's http://www.johntaylorgatto.com If reading this book doesn't convince you that public school isn't the place for your kids, I don't know what will! Best of luck to you and your family, whatever you decide! -Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I love what Wendy said. You can do a great job, and I will add, BECAUSE YOU are their mother. And just the fact that you love them shows that you will do what is best. And another thing Wendy said, public school (especially the ones in THIS country) will not guarantee both an education or a well rounded social life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 I read this and thought, "Wow! My dd would LOVE to have 3 siblings to play with every day!" I think siblings should be friends with each other first, then seek friends outside of the family. :iagree:I'm teaching my girls to love each other. And I love it when they give each other a spontaneous hug--they close their eyes and have a look of bliss on their faces. I love it. I doubt that would happen or would continue if they go to public school where they're separated all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 You aren't alone. My adult dd just e-mailed me this morning with many of the same concerns that you have. Even though my first choice is homeschool, I can understand her perspective. BTW, my dd was homeschooled the last two years of high school. Even though she enjoyed homeschool, they plan to send their children to school due to their personalities and family goals. Good luck with your decision. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen sn Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 My husband wants me to homeschool . He just hates public school . I come from Europe where homeschooling is unheard of (moved in the US 7 yrs ago) and this idea it's kind of hard for me. Beside my children don't have friends or neighbors close to their age ( 5 , 4 , 3 and a newborn) .We went to a homeschool coop and took a few classes but it is so expensive , especially with 4 children. We also go to church where they can meet other children . However , I still think it is not enough . My children need to have friends to play with and share every day. Sometimes they say they are bored at home. With a newborn and a toddler I don't go much out. So is homeschooling still a good choice in my situation? The point is I want my children to have a good education and good socialization skills and I am not sure I can provide that at home . Not to mention how busy I am with 4 children under 5 , when do I have time to homeschool? That said , I know that being at home with me , knowing their strengths and weakness , we have an advantage . My oldest son can read chapter books now , does 1st grade Math (Horizons in fact is considered 2nd grade in PS) and knows more history and science than most schooled kids his age. I am sure you all have the same kids that are ahead . But it's not all about academics , it's also about socialization and learn how to live in a community not only in a family. They are young. But it sounds like you already are educating them quite well. I believe everyone home schools - just to different degrees. We were at a creek this weekend and my dd was catching salamanders. She had one and then added another one. My 8 month old son was looking at them in the bucket and I let him know that we had one salamander and his sister added another and now we have two. Because one and one is two. Does he really get it? Who knows? But I have always discussed life in math terms when able and my dd (11) seems to be pretty good at math in her head. I absolutely detest the whole "school/socialization" myth. Seriously.....when in your life have you ever been surrounded by 30 people all your own age? I'd rather my dd feel comfortable around old ladies and babies. I've never seen a kid who couldn't go on a play ground and make a new friend. All this same age hogwash is silly. It's nice when they have a special friend and spend time together - but you are not going to find that in school. Some cafeterias face the children all in the same direction. There are little single file tables. You face the back of the head of the person at the next table. How sociable is that? ANd how many times do teachers tell kids to be quiet, that they are not there for socialization? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted May 12, 2009 Share Posted May 12, 2009 First, I need to say that I only have one child, so may not be the absolute best for info on hsing multi-ages, but a few thoughts occurred to me. I will also preface this with the fact that I don't think hsing is the be-all and end-all and that everyone should do it. I don't know that we will do it all the way through or not, just that we will as long as it's working and seems a reasonable option for our family. 1) You said they "need to have friends to play with and share every day". You may want to evaluate why you believe this and what this actually means in terms of number of hours/types of interaction. It may well be true, but it may also not be as primary a need as you think at the moment, only you and your family can tell. Exactly how many hours each day/week would be "enough" at minimum? Is it enough simply being in the same room with other kids their age or does the type and quality of interaction matter? Would this be met with public schooling? Depends. I know in our area they spend most of the time trying to keep the kids from socializing during class, recess is cut way back if it still exists, lunch times are very short and many elementary schools have instituted rules that the kids can't talk for all or most of the time in order to get them to eat their lunch and get out so the next shift can come in (due to overcrowding). Then there is the issue of school holidays, summer break, Saturdays, etc in which they would not have automatic access to their friends. Certainly they could interact on the bus ride to and from school, but knowing that they feel the need to put security cameras on the bus does not lead me to think that it will be exactly the kind of interaction I would like to see. I have a very extroverted only child who does not have and never has had friends or siblings to play with every day. Would she like to? Probably. Does she say she's bored? Sure, I don't know of a kid who doesn't say that regardless of their situation--my daughter's been known to say this 10 minutes after having played with a friend for hours. Is it crucial that she have someone outside the family her own age to play with every single day in order to act like other kids her age (in a good way) in social situations? No. We have a weekly park play day with our homeschool group where she has several friends, we attend church on Sundays where she has friends, she goes to aikido once a week where she has friends. Other than that, we go to the library for activities 4 or so times a month (where she has connected with other kids) and have field trips, etc, and sometimes playdates, but not often. There are also group PE classes, and other opportunities. At the ages of your kids, look for a group which has park play days where the kids can free play, not co-op classes. It costs $12 a year per family to join our homeschool group, for instance, and that gives access to weekly park days, impromptu get togethers, field trips (though those may have an extra cost), ways to make connections for both you and your kids. No co-op, no classes, etc just a wonderful social network and support. She gets many, many opportunities to live in and interact with a community that is not segregated strictly on the basis of age. I do expect that we may have some additional concerns as she gets older (say high school age) when the number of homeschoolers in our area tends to drop off (particularly the secular ones), but we will address those when we get there. 2) When do you have time to homeschool? Personally, in your situation, I would first consider putting the 3 and 4 year old into a play-focused preschool program or mom's morning out (not an academic one) which will give you more time for the baby and the kindergartner while you get your feet under you in terms of homeschooling (if you decide to do it). Use that time to get out with just the newborn (quite portable) and older child for fun special field trips, etc. as well as to do some of the academics. That will also let them have the play time with other kids that sounds important to you. We put our daughter in half day preschool from ages 2.5 to 4 (2 half days at 2, 3 at 3, 4 at 4) and she loved it and benefited from it (as did I:)). It doesn't have to be all or nothing. I know that I had a just turned 5 yo who would have entered kindergarten reading on at least a 2nd grade level and doing age level or above math. I know that she would not have gotten the academic attention she needed in our local public school kindergarten programs and she is not one to suffer boredom gracefully ;). I'm afraid that would have led to lots of discipline issues at that age. Good luck with whatever decision you choose to make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blessedmom3 Posted May 13, 2009 Author Share Posted May 13, 2009 Wow!!! I got so many great , thought provoking answers. Give me time to "digest" everything:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iwka Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 (edited) I am from Poland, living in USA for 6 years. There are very few who can even fathom what I am talking about when I visit my family and friends back in Poland. I think there are less then 100 families in Poland who have chosen this way of education. Truthfully, if we ever go back, we are not sure what we would do in terms of educating our kids. Public schools are still not bad choice over there, although people start to complain more and more about the level of education. Going back to your dilemmas, some time ago I wrote this: http://majorchangeacademy.wordpress.com/2008/03/31/real-world/ I still struggle constantly with the same thoughts as yours...but every year it seems that the choice is still home education. It took me some time to change from thinking about "doing school at home" to educating, raising up and living a different life style. As for socializing - it is a much greater effort in USA for the kids to socialize then I thought. There is no public transportation, and moms have to be schauffers here forever. I would love to have public transportation and be able to send kids (over 12 years old that is...well, I did it when I was 9) to go visit their friend or to an art class by themselves... And even when we have so many friends in the church, 4-H, sport classes, PE classes...But still, these are "classes"...so an effort has to be made...I am specifically thinking every week whom we can invite over, so the kids can just play together. Sleepovers are great. By the way, I miss central European squares and cafe places....trams and buses...subways and just plain walking among OLD (over 300 years old) buildings... Edited May 14, 2009 by iwka Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I have seen park days mentioned so much! I must protest! Park days are no fun for mom when there is a toddler to chase around. It will provide socialization for the kids, but not for the mom. In addition, I don't think I could take that many children under 6 to the park and keep track of them. We have a group here that meets in a church on some days, the park on others. I have thought about asking if the members with toddlers would like to come to my fenced in yard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 It's not for everyone and that is ok. You'll know in your heart if it's right. In regard to socializing, we have a LOT of family time and my kids seem really content. They do play with other kids at least a couple times a week and it's enough (for them). My older son, who is 9, loves to be home, he's like me. He's content piddling around and is very comfortable just "be-ing". My other son is definitely more social, he loves interaction, but that does not mean that he needs it every day, for hours a day. We get him out, we are signing him up for some summer activities since we are in AZ and the park is out of the question (he usually plays with kids at the park). My kids are very social, they are very comfortable talking with anyone and I don't see them suffering in any way being home. In fact, I am not so keen on the idea of kids being around kids for so many hours a day. I think society has been a little bit warped about that idea and that "need". I also love that my kids play with each other. Homeschooling allows for great family bonding time and especially between siblings. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest janainaz Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 I have seen park days mentioned so much! I must protest! Park days are no fun for mom when there is a toddler to chase around. It will provide socialization for the kids, but not for the mom. In addition, I don't think I could take that many children under 6 to the park and keep track of them. We have a group here that meets in a church on some days, the park on others. I have thought about asking if the members with toddlers would like to come to my fenced in yard. This is SO true. When my second one was a toddler, I just gave up ever trying to have a conversation with anyone because he had to be my focus. The idea of a "park day" was really nice, but in reality, after 9 months, I left and no one noticed. That is a great point you made. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Recently at our park (every afternoon it is nice is "park day" here--mostly with a mix of public school/private school families, but there is another homeschool family in the neighborhood) I talked to a mom who is originally from France, but has lived in Germany and is now moving back to Germany for a while. She said the lower grades, especially K, are very different in Europe than here. She was looking forward to moving back to Europe. She does not like the way children do not go outside much at the young ages in school here. She "afterschools" French and German. I was telling her about the remedial reading classes I taught and how little the children learned on bad weather days--if it's too rainy, they don't get outdoor recess, then they really didn't much at all, especially the boys. This was especially true of the last class that we had right after school. This class we had from 5 to 6:30 was a bit better, but you could still tell the non-outdoor recess days. We talked about how people in Germany and Seattle (where I grew up) were more likely to just go for walks or do things when it was rainy (otherwise you'd never do anything outside!) (I talked to some people at the elementary school about this problem--they are bound by red tape. They have no gym and have to have a certain number of hours of time teaching each subject each day, and most recess is in conjunction with lunch, so there is no way to cycle indoor gym time at the cafeteria without breaking rules. It's crazy, though, they would be better off with 30 minutes of exercise and 10 minutes of math actually learned than sitting for 40 minutes of math and learning nothing.) Depending on where you lived in Europe and where you live here, the schools may be quite different from what you imagine, especially at the lower grade levels. I would talk to your husband about what his concerns are and visit the local schools yourself if you haven't already. I would also make sure for your 4 year old that if you do decide to put him in school that you make sure he doesn't get taught sight words, or if he is going to get sight words at school, teach them phonetically at home first. My last class we had a student with speech difficulties and the use of sight words was especially problematic for him. My sight word page explains how to teach them phonetically: http://www.thephonicspage.org/On%20Reading/sightwords.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted May 13, 2009 Share Posted May 13, 2009 Saying they're bored is normal, whether they're home or at school. I wouldn't worry too much about it. Set up some times for them to play with other kids from the co-op, or kids from the neighborhood. What we've done is to make our house the neighborhood hangout spot. We have a big swingset in the backyard, a foosball table and video games inside. I always have popsicles when it's warm out for all of the neighborhood kids. Our kids see other kids every day, because all the kids want to be here after school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 I have seen park days mentioned so much! I must protest! Park days are no fun for mom when there is a toddler to chase around. It will provide socialization for the kids, but not for the mom. In addition, I don't think I could take that many children under 6 to the park and keep track of them. I really don't know how anyone takes that many kids under 6 anywhere and keeps track of them, honestly ;). I understand that it's difficult, and have friends in our homeschool group who are facing this exact problem. I didn't have a lot of time to socialize while chasing after my one child when she was in that age range. However, the OP was specifically asking about social opportunities for *her children* not herself-----"My children need to have friends to play with and share every day." Sending them to public school is not going to provide her with tons of socialization for herself either. Sending the oldest to public school isn't going to change the fact that she still has a 3 and 4 yo who want friends everyday and need to be supervised. I'm not sure where other than the park she's going to find low cost ways of providing the kind of access to other kids she's describing. Going to a park day would provide that opportunity for her kids without having the cost of classes (and I don't know that classes will give the kind of interaction she seems to be seeking anyway). Any means of having that kind of playing with other kids each and every day is going to require a lot of supervision. It's not like she could send them all outside to roam the neighborhood on their own at those ages, even if there were other kids around. Once she hooks up with a homeschool group, she might well find some other moms with youngers who would welcome a playdate at a park that has perhaps a fenced in area or somewhere that the kids could be more closely supervised. Another option could be to see if some of the older kids in the group might be interested in being hired as "mother's helper" for at least part of the time at the park to play with the 3 and 4 yo while mom relaxes a bit. I know we have some young teen girls with babysitting experience or who want to goian who might welcome an opportunity to earn a little bit of money. You might find some other moms of kids about the same age willing to split expenses to hire a couple teens. The reality is that by choosing to have several children so close in age one is just flat going to create a period of time where one has to deal with that level of supervision until they get a bit older. It's a very stressful and hard season of life. That's why I suggested putting the three and four year old into a play-based preschool program and then taking the older child to homeschool events like park days while the youngers are in preschool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 The reality is that by choosing to have several children so close in age one is just flat going to create a period of time where one has to deal with that level of supervision until they get a bit older. It's a very stressful and hard season of life. That's why I suggested putting the three and four year old into a play-based preschool program and then taking the older child to homeschool events like park days while the youngers are in preschool. That is a great suggestion. Honestly, I find it strange that socialization would be needed with other kids very often, considering that there is a 3,4 and 5 year old. I would be glad if I was able to have my kids a little closer in age so that they would have each other to play with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SherryTX Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 We have 5 kids, but one finished High School in Dec (graduating public high school officially next month), and three are in public school, so I only home school my daughter. I am working on finding playgroups for her - I just discovered a Dallas area home school group for kids with Autism or Asperger's - we are going to our first play date this Friday. The other kids will be in school, so I only will have to deal with the one. I think socialization is important, to a point. However, I don't constantly worry about my 9 year old not being around other kids the same age all the time. She has her 7 and 11 year old sisters, and they play with her after school. Once in a while we will go to the park as a family on the weekend, and she plays with other kids. If your kids grow up being loved, and you can help foster their self esteem, and you set a good example when interacting with others yourself, than they probably will be just find learning how to socialize. And being bored from time to time is NOT a bad thing for a kid - it teaches him/her how to entertain them self. This is something most public schools are not able to do well because of the rigid requirements they have. I am more worried about socialization for MYSELF some days, haha, than I ever am for my daughter. One thing I would like to remind you is that if you do go ahead an give home schooling a try, make sure you figure out a way to have some time for YOURSELF in your schedule. Trust me, it makes all the difference in one's mental health, haha! Good luck - I hope whatever decision you make works out for you and your family. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
budeb Posted May 14, 2009 Share Posted May 14, 2009 YOU have to WANT to do this and be passionate about it. My dh has left this completely up to me because he KNOWS he wouldn't be able to homeschool. This has given me such freedom knowing it is year by year. As for now we are on for next year. I LOVE it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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