I had the opposite problem. I was always the (or ONE of the) only females - not for play dates, but at the other stuff: scouts, baseball, basketball, Lego robotics team, etc. I was welcomed, but not necessarily welcome. Does that make sense? They accepted my presence, but I got the feeling they'd have preferred I not be present. And I kind of get that. But only kind of. It was particularly noticeable at the sports. I was a competitive, multi-sport athlete through young adulthood but they all assumed I knew nothing and couldn't play. That's what bothered me most - not that they weren't thrilled with having "a girl" there, but that they made grossly inaccurate assumptions about The Girl. But it all works out. After 7 years, most of the dads now consider me "one of the guys" and don't see my gender as an issue. I guess that's the better alternative? LOL More importantly, this is how I met my best friend Will. He's 67 and has a daughter my age. He also has a son the same age as my boy. As the two fringe folks (a woman and an old man on his second family) we gravitated towards each other. We've been best friends for almost a decade. We do couples night every few months with his wife and my ex-husband, and we're all very friendly. But mostly it's me and Will. We live in a small town, and I don't know about gossip but other parents do comment on the oddity of our friendship! But it works for us. After all, we were on the fringe to begin with - right?

I'm so sorry :grouphug:.

I love Reese's! We'll have to try this soon. :) ETA: You have a few other yummies on there, too! I definitely want to try the blueberry crumb bars also!

I don't typically get refunds. I'm in the "no interest-free loans to Uncle Sam" camp. My ex-husband files my taxes for me. I retired last year, and my company just released the tax information on the 1st. I imagine this week he'll let me know how much I need to write a check for. :)

That's a very real possibility. Where I'm from, we're not really tied to the clock and things are much more relaxed. I was always grateful for that, given my own issues with time management. When we moved to the mainland, and particularly to Texas, we found people here are incredibly married to the clock! It's been an adjustment on many levels. But as you say - time is currency. And I suppose my friends show they value me because they continue to spend their time with me, despite my imperfections and habitually being 15 minutes late. If they found it too rude to deal with, I imagine they wouldn't have to say anything; they'd simply drop the relationship or confront me (as are the suggestions here). As it is, they know it's something I struggle with and is in no way a reflection of how I feel about our friendships. I like what KungFuPanda said: we all have an annoying habit, it's a matter of deciding what we find worth tolerating. This is clearly my annoying habit - some find it tolerable, others (including many on this thread :001_smile:) wouldn't. And that's ... definitely okay. LOL

The misunderstanding was in what causes the tardiness. But apology accepted. ;)

I also said that life doesn't always give me the option of planning as far ahead to be on time, as work days did. And I also said that when it does, I take those same steps to be on time to "real life" events. On days I worked, nothing else was going on. It was a travel day, a day dedicated ONLY to getting to work OR already being AT work in a hotel. My non-working days were the days everything else got done, because those were the only days I was in my hometown. It was squeezing a seven day week into 3 days as far as things that couldn't be done on the road - such as play dates, shopping, and other errands. Fortunately for me, people have decided that I'm worth more than the 15 minutes they lose when I'm late. Fortunate, too, I suppose, that they don't make the same tiresome leaps that others may make in the same situation.

I retired last year, but I have been the (divorced) breadwinner - and yes, I really liked my job. I miss it and would go back if I weren't homeschooling. My ex-husband was the breadwinner before that, and he has always loved his jobs; both as soldier and civilian (in an unrelated field). Our friends were all engineers and lawyers, who always out-earned us; but they came to envy US because we both always loved our jobs. There is something to be said for being paid to do what you enjoy and are good at. I don't think you have to enjoy your job, but it's worked out for us. :) I'll say that I miss my job, and don't love being a SAHP and full-time homeschooler. It's boring and tedious for me. I like having more time with my kids, but I don't care for the day to day staying home bit at all. I loved having them travel with me, and they miss is also.

Okay, well I'm a little embarrassed to say that I asked my ex-husband to take the kids to their extra-curriculars tonight because I needed to work on a project at my new house. Um, ... I'm on the computer having downtime while my project is two feet away staring at me. :leaving: People like you make it easy for people like me (and your DH) to do that. You're so great about acknowledging that we need a break, too, and it's so reasonable that you just want a little of that favor back in return, right? Not even a fair trade back, you'd probably settle for just a partial! LOL And you should get that, without doubt. So, yoga clothes. He takes a shower right after yoga, correct? Can he just drop his already wet clothes in the shower with him? Or did you ever cloth diaper? Those wet-bag things would work here, too; he can drop them into a wet-bag thing and then on his way out to work he can take that wet-bag straight to the laundry room/washing machine. Gosh, even a plastic grocery bag would work in a real pinch! So rather than finish working out, dumping clothes on the bathroom floor, showering, picking up ALL the stinky and wet clothes while he's in his new fresh work clothes, trying to take stinky clothes to the laundry room without dripping everywhere and smelling it, ... all of this that he's NOT currently doing .... instead he strips, puts clothes straight into a wet-bag that's hanging on the doorknob that he has to turn to get out of the bathroom ;) and then since it's not a drippy, wet mess he's more likely to take it to the laundry room. Bonus points if he throws it right into the washing machine. But even if he doesn't take the wet-bag to the laundry room, at least the smell and wet are somewhat contained and we work on that next step of walking the wet-bag to the laundry room. I guess his other option would be to soak his gross workout clothes while he showers, squeeze dry and air-dry right in the bathroom. I'd leave a rack in there to make it happen. I'd even take the semi-dry clothes to the laundry room for him if he had made some effort to get the funky odor out! I don't think he'll like this idea, though, too much work. Present it first, and the one above present second :lol:. And good luck! LOL We are not an easy people to live with.

I'm a chronically late person. I'm very rarely more than 15 minutes late, but there were a few times I've been up to an hour late. With no really good or valid excuse other than I get overwhelmed getting out the door - part of that is personality, for sure, and part of it is (chronic ;)) time management issues. So instead of telling a friend, No, Suzie can't play today ... I'll commit to the play date and do my best to make it happen on time. But it may be that I'm running from the other side of town for Jim Bob's play date that the mom wouldn't shut up so I could get going, and oh- crud, I forgot the water bill has to be dropped off today so we have to stop by the house super quick to pick it up, then crap - gas light is on, great - and now I'm fielding phone calls from an upset friend, trying not to text while driving despite my mom's constant texts that she can't find the store I sent her to on an errand for me, etc. and gosh darn it - why do I keep forgetting to update my ioS because the GPS isn't taking into account the new construction and now I'm going the wrong direction and I'm going to REALLY be late ... And of course it appears to some as disrespect of their time (and really, I can't blame them for feeling such way), but that's an unfortunate indirect issue and not the intent. To some, that matters and they learn to work around people like me; to others, the frustration costs more than the friendship provides so the relationship fades. And it doesn't have to be personal for either side, it's simply not a good fit. My family is so surprised that I chose a job that required regular air travel. But I never missed a flight - ever. I had to give myself an extra two hours :lol: but I was always there for boarding! I had to leave hotels two hours before my co-workers, I had to leave home four hours before departure to ensure I was in the boarding lounge on time (everyone I worked with left two hours early if driving, one if being dropped off). When my regular life permits, I take the same steps to arrive on time (doctors, weddings, funerals, volunteering) but my life doesn't always permit. I'm sorry your friend was late, and even more sorry if it's a chronic issue with her. I'm mostly sorry for your daughter because I know that stinks for her. All I can suggest is that while it may feel personal and disrespectful, it isn't always meant to. And most people like me know they have a problem and will understand if invites get skipped or spaced out given a proven history of tardiness - it's par for the course, and reasonable enough.

I'm divorced, but when I was married my husband had your exact problem. YOUR problem. ;) Here's the thing. When we first met (the Neatnik Days), it was because I was very rigid about things. I wasn't just neat, I had a SYSTEM. And I needed a system because I'm actually very disorganized and it's SYSTEM or DIE. The problem with that is, once your system goes bust ... the whole neat thing goes with it. I can't speak for your husband, but in my case there are a few issues going on: 1. the system takes time to put into place (or get back to, if I've gone off-track) 2. as I've gotten older, my disorganization has become worse - thus starts the cycle of system - off-track 3. as work responsibility increases, time (and energy!) devoted to a system decreases 4. as time and energy to a system decreases, the system goes off-track and we're back at step 1. Add extra stressors (work, kids, housework, etc.) and different people react in their own ways. Some become adept jugglers, some juggle chaotically for as long as they're able, and some just stand there hoping the balls will juggle themselves (and continue to stand there, even once it's apparent the balls will not). LOL And it's not necessarily a character issue, or a personality flaw - it's just a reaction to what's going on around someone. The character issue and personality flaws come to light when that someone refuses to acknowledge that his/her current juggling technique isn't working as part of a bigger functional unit. So, for some helpful hints - can you give us more specifics? Where is he dumping his boots - by the door? bedroom? Where is he dumping his gross workout clothes, and where does he work out - home? gym? As for cooking, this is a tough one. I only just retired so I completely understand coming home late at night to a giant mess. But he's making the effort to cook for the kids, so ... that's a tough one. We need to enlist the kids in helping do kitchen clean-up, I think. Or bite the bullet and do paper plates those nights. Or get him a crockpot and recipe book for Valentine's Day! LOL He says he's too busy ... can he at least get the dishes soaking? Then maybe you can entice him into some couple time ... you wash, he dries ... he might be too busy to do the dishes alone, but sounds like you are, too. Who can turn down together time? The chore goes so much faster with company, and could be a good way to debrief or reconnect at the end of those nights when both of you are exhausted. My mom and dad still do dishes together. They put on music, have a bottle of wine, and talk about whatever they talk about. My ex-husband lived with them last year, and said they'd argue politics, religion, and gossip about us kids. LOL They're living with me now, and I only hear the politics and religion. ;) Guess that means a lot of that gossip was about me!

Knot-tying contests Whittling (bars of soap) Tie-dye (cheap bag of Hanes undershirts) I see you have younger kids - my son liked making forts for the younger kids. We could usually find a big box somewhere, mostly grocery stores, and he'd hack away at it with a pocketknife, paint it, and get it all set up for the little ones. With smaller boxes (banker boxes) they'd cut holes into the bottom and have tossing contests. We had beanbags already made, but those would be cheap and easy to make also. Sew with some scrap fabric, or stuff a pair of nylons and tie them off. LOL

I don't. Maybe I will later, I don't know. I don't think I will. My family is very close-knit, so maybe since we're not "leave and cleave" or "out of the pocket" type people it's just not as big a deal. I don't think too much will change between 16 and 26 other than geography. And we've overcome that plenty of times already. :) I think I'd struggle with them actually leaving (for college, military, work) and staying gone. But just getting older and more mature? I don't struggle with that. I can see how it's bittersweet to others, but my people aren't a very sentimental people; I'm no different.

I feel for you both; I imagine there's nothing here to suggest that you haven't already thought of - and that must feel incredibly frustrating. :grouphug: I know you mentioned the online gaming ... does he poke around YouTube at all? It might start with videos of the games he likes, or whatever, but in the course of that he may come to "know" some people well enough that he can start communicating with them. That might be through online gaming, or YouTube videos or emails or whatever, but it may give him some feeling of control over it - like he's getting to know these people before leaping into a potential friendship. It might be easier for him to "get to know" people through their past videos and/or comments to videos. I suppose any number of Yahoo groups or online forums may fit the bill also; he can lurk or post minimally while he gets a feel for things, and then have an idea of who he'd like to approach one-on-one, or small group-wise. It can be a group dedicated to whatever games he likes, but my nephew has the most fun in a debate group. He engages in discussions he wishes to, and scrolls past those he doesn't; he skypes and emails people he's met through there, too. You may even see if you can start one for the target group you're looking for - you have to know you're not alone in wanting something like that. I bet there are groups out there that will be online versions of what you used to have IRL. :) I know some are leery of these kind of social interactions, and surely there are precautions to take, but they sound like one way your son might be comfortable to start a friendship. That's all I have, though. I hope you're able to figure something out for the guy!

I retired last year; until then, yes - that is what "my weekends" looked like. I was on the road 3-4 days a week, and home 4-3 days a week depending on my current assignment. But since last year my weekends have really freed up! LOL It gets crazy during sports season, because naturally that coincides with spring and fall gardening weekends, but otherwise I now have an "extra" 3-4 days a week in which to spread out my workload. And like you, on one level you know you're busy but you just keep doing the next thing ... and then when you see it all written out, it's like WHAT??! I must be nuts?!?! :lol: Sounds like you had a productive weekend!

What a thoughtful prayer for your mom; please know I've added mine to the chorus. Prayers, too, for a full recovery from dental surgery and promising news at the cardiologist.

I was taught diagramming as a child. I found it fun. :) I teach it to my kids, too. My kids are well-read and true bibliophiles, but one has the hardest time knowing how to FIX those awkward sentences. He can identify that something is off, but he's not always able to pinpoint it correctly so as to correct it. He doesn't love diagramming, and some days he actively resists it ... but he's also the first to begrudgingly admit that it's proven useful and has helped him correct his writing errors. So I fall into the camp that it's a great tool, and that most kids will benefit from some exposure to it - particularly kids whose writing (or public speaking!) could use a little tweak or tune-up.

One idea might be to snack on broth. Sipping on a mug of broth, or snacking on a small bowl, could be a great way to fill that salty craving without eating the things that affect your depression and kidneys. If self-control isn't an issue for you, broth could even be a vehicle to a restricted serving of crackers - break up one or two to soak in the broth, just enough to whet the craving without putting your body into a havoc.

I just fill the tub with baking soda and let it sit overnight; all it takes the next morning is a simple, easy swipe to remove the grime. I take a bath most nights, including a baking soda soak once a week - kills two birds with one stone. ;) Our new home had grout and tile in the showers. I replaced two bathrooms with granite slabs, and the other two bathrooms with cultured marble slabs - no grout, no problem! LOL Each shower/tub has a spray bottle filled with vinegar, and two of us are good about spraying down the walls after every shower. One of us isn't as good about this, and definitely spends more time on the back end wiping off water deposits from the slabs.

I only shave my legs a few times a year, so buying my own never made sense; I just always used my ex's razors. (Other than that I was the perfect wife, mind you :lol: :Angel_anim:.) They're GREAT. And I got my teenage sister started on them, and it's what I'll also use for my daughter when the time comes. She inherited her dad's gorilla gene, and will be shaving MUCH more frequently than I. Or maybe not, if it doesn't bother her! It bothers the women in ex's family, though.

Looks interesting! I've added it to my wishlist. I need the price to come down some and/or some informative reviews to get posted (hint, hint!) before I can make that leap. I'm always scared to try new foods and new authors. :blush:

Color me jealous. My feet dangle even from a standard toilet seat. :glare: And what's worse, is that apparently there are now a ton of ADA toilets on the market and I somehow missed the memo! I ordered some new toilets not realizing that the taller toilets are now as readily available as are the standard "old" traditional toilets. I didn't pay attention to what I ordered, and now I'm the gravity-challenged owner of four ridiculously tall toilets (and four handy dandy step stools). Because can I just say that dangling feet and gravity are not friends. :bored: Yes, you're missing TONS of fun here with the under 5' crowd! LOL

In the wallet/out of the wallet. I really read that much differently than otherwise voiced here. I took it as more of a(n) ... there's a word for this, and I'm drawing a blank but someone will know it ... not allegory, not example, ... but something like those LOL ... so, well, I took it more as a {whatever} to illustrate a bigger point. And that bigger point is: it's all well and good to have a great relationship with a teenager, but the poster would feel most successful as a parent when/if she had a great relationship with her adult child. It was a choice of phrase meant to highlight the difference between teen and adult child; not so much her parental investment pre- and post- "launch" as they say. And I do see that point. I agree that THAT is when I'll know I did well - when my adult children choose to be an important, regular part of my life. Where that poster and I part ways is that I feel a level of success at a close teenage relationship, too.

I have pernicious anemia; when I'm super low on B12 I get the itches. The constant scratching irritates my skin and that's when the bumps show up. Whatever it is, I hope you figure it out (and fix it!) soon. It's an icky feeling!

Before I lived in Texas, I would have brought a great bottle of wine or high-end scotch or something I know he'd like/use. That doesn't go over as well here in the Bible Belt though ... go figure, LOL ... So I'd do a $50 GC to a niche/boutique store or $100 GC to a restaurant, depending on how close the friendship is. Maybe a token gift if I knew what his interests were: golf, cooking, Coke, or whatever. Everyone loves Harry & David, you could have something delivered the day before or of the party?