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Ripley

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Everything posted by Ripley

  1. I am from a large family. We girls out numbered the boys, so we took the master. The boys, our parents, and our grandparents had secondary rooms. We didn't have bunk beds. We doubled up in full sized beds. Bedrooms were for sleeping or reading - all there was room to do. In your situation I'd move the three boys into the master. That closet becomes the family closet, holding clothes for all or most young kids. That bathroom becomes the central bathing station for all or most young kids. Your adult children stay in their rooms. You, your husband and the baby take the fourth bedroom (or usurp an adult child's if it's better!) The two girls take the converted office. Add a trundle bed for the fourth boy. The fifth boy sleeps with an adult child. These last two boys SLEEP in one room but their BEDROOM is the master; this is where their belongings are and where they retreat to during the day. I'd probably put in a daybed, trundle and a full size bed (maybe a second twin trundle under the full size bed). Trundle beds free up floor space during the day, and with those stowed the master truly feels like (all of) the BOYS' room for daytime activity. If the boys aren't particular, any boy can take any bed during the day for naps or reading. If the boys ARE particular, throw some bean bags in for daytime rest or reading. Or if people's personalities are better suited to it, two boys and a girl take the office, and the second girl sleeps with an adult child. But all of this is assuming I read correctly, and that you're using the foster system to accept kids from your family. Because if not, it's way easier and you stick all five boys in the master, the two girls in the office, and the adult kids keep their own spaces :).
  2. It seems excessive to me, too. I worry about the physical issues of it - carpal tunnel, etc. But mostly I think it feels excessive because it's not my preferred method. I want to dedicate a set amount of time to a conversation. I do not want it to take place every 2-3 minutes over an hour, interrupting whatever else I'm doing LOL.
  3. Well, no I don't ignore it and here's why - (hang on a sec while I put on my tinfoil hat LOL) Do you know who I think will use Google to research my son? Minimum wage employers. Interested girls. Potential future in-laws. Curious classmates. Do you know who I think has different channels to look into my son's online presence? Universities. Major companies. Government agencies. Insurance companies. I think Google turning up shared names of icky offenders is bad, but at the amateur level. Once my (adult) son is seeking entry or scholarship into a major university, or employment in the military or at a multi-national corporation, these groups will have a deeper access to my son that goes way beyond a name he shares with creeps. It will target his exact online presence, tracked from his email account, any social media accounts, internet searches, sites visited with cookies enabled, etc. There's a much higher search capability that won't confuse him with anyone else that shares his name.
  4. Our favorite picture books are by Maurice Sendak, Allan Say, and Miroslav Sasek. ETA: How did I forget Tomie de Paola? He reigns supreme around these parts :).
  5. PS - I have one attending a small private school where he's one of four new kids. The kids do most of their math during class, they bring very little home - if any. He's the go to kid for math help, surprisingly. We used MUS from K-8th, only ever supplementing with Lial's at the end. His way of explaining just make sense to the kids. It's all those years of MUS with it's different ways and words :) Good luck to your son as he prepares for this tech school!
  6. I did this. We spent a little over a semester on MUS Algebra 1. We did selected problems from all of the review pages (D-E-F). I picked about 10 problems he most needed to review or practice. We always did the first page of new material (A). If he scored 90+ we did selected problems on page B, and maybe C. So maybe only another 5-10 problems between B and C (same day or next). Less than a 90 and we did every problem on page B. 90+ on that and we'd do only selected problems on C. Etc. We followed that with Lial's Introductory Algebra. That took us the entire second semester and into summer. He took his placement test 2.5 months into Lial's, with no special prep on our part. He placed in the highest math class and is currently earning a 98%. He keeps getting marked down for not using pencil, which isn't something I required LOL. I got the idea from threads here, I think from reading threads with 8FilltheHeart and Sue in St. Pete. I'm grateful to both and to others who commented on those threads - very helpful, and worked for us!
  7. I'm not directly familiar with OCD. I do have nieces and nephews who are college aged. They text, they just do. It's immediate. It lets them multi-task. These make it very convenient. They can text between classes, during a lull in a lecture, discreetly under the table during a sorority meeting, waiting to cross the street at a red light, or between ordering and receiving lunch. It just feels like less of a hassle, is how they've explained it. And I've asked! I'll call, it'll go to voicemail, and a few minutes later I get a text response LOL. I think calling is easier, and apparently that's showing my age :seeya:.
  8. Oh. Showers are my downtime. I'm in there a good 20-30 minutes, sometimes longer. I can be in there that long without even beginning to wash up. It used to be baths but when we moved I never bonded with the bathtub at the new house. My boys shower every night after sports' practices. This is washing face, brushing teeth, then washing hair and body (same soap). Our hot water is pretty much instant so they spend about 6-10 minutes on this. The ones who go to brick and mortar school also shower in the morning. It's more of a wake up, wash off the night - brushing teeth, washing sweaty pertinent parts. This runs about 3-4 minutes, they're in and out. They all have short hair and we have a water pik in the shower.
  9. I have a garage, but I lock the door that leads from it into the house - day, night, home or away. It has a deadbolt and an eye hole. The airport parking lot I parked at every month had a series of car break-ins. They'd use GPS or insurance cards to find the address, use the clicker or in-car button to access the garage, and then enter the house through the unlocked door leading into it from the garage. A man on my team had his car and home broken into. That was too close for comfort, I had elderly grandparents and little kids living at my house. So now I lock the garage-to-house door, I don't program my car's button to open the garage on my insurance card (but I do program it to open the garage doors of my relatives), and I toss my clicker into my bag when I lock and leave my car parked.
  10. How hard to be so far separated during a time like this, especially as the only child :grouphug:. Prayers for your MIL - for her physical health, comfort, and emotional strength. Prayers for you, too - for wisdom, good counsel, and your own resiliency.
  11. My kids have their own house keys to the three homes they're at most often. I'd guess the youngest was about six when they got the first set? I don't see the harm in having a set made - be good to have on hand for any unforeseen need. We have keys to almost everyone's houses (in my family), so I'm guessing we were making extra copies of someone's keys and the kids saw the designer key blanks. They probably asked for and got them. There is no real reason for them to have keys otherwise, at least to my house - someone is always home. I lose keys pretty regularly, so I'm glad my 9 year old always has hers on her. If my car key didn't cost $400, I'd give her one of those, too LOL.
  12. I am anemic, too, but my vice drink is tea. I did eliminate it for awhile, but didn't notice a significant change; nor did my hematologist ;). So I added tea back in because I had emotional and social withdrawals. With his blessing :D. But I significantly reduced the amount I drank. Might you try to cut your 14-oz down to, say, 6-8 oz? Maybe less as time goes on, if you're able? I've been under the care of three different hematologists over the past 20 years. Each has attributed the anemia to my cycle. I'll have to look more carefully into the diet connection, beyond the usual iron-rich and meat stuff typically mentioned. Thank you Hikin' Mama for that suggestion.
  13. I believe the OP means rule of thumb or professional standard, as opposed to a set and established RULE (that only her doctor or her doctor's office would know or have established). I wish I knew. I hope you find out soon enough, OP, being in limbo is never easy or fun.
  14. I'm a great planner and list-maker, too. I love it. I find it cathartic. It's fun, even. What I don't like, or do well, is to follow through on all of that fun planning and list-making. For me, I need accountability. And frankly, to be pushed to the wire - up against a deadline of some sort. Some days that means inviting people over so the house will get a thorough clean. Or it means volunteering in the evenings so I'm motivated to stay on top of cooking. Even little deadlines, like adding my "wishes" to the to-do list, will help. So I list in order of priority, and I'll add a Starbucks run between items 4 and 6. Or a quick ride around the lake between home school teaching and grading. It keeps me moving down the list because there's some small reward in doing so (outside of finishing the list itself).
  15. I have the same issue. It bothers me that I'm more able to easily excuse a stranger than someone I know and supposedly care about. I started keeping baby pictures around. It reminds me that everyone is someone's baby. And it reminds me of a time when someone was my baby. I'm a visual gal so it's an instant calmer. I see sweetness, innocence, and a world before him/her - it's hard to stay mad at someone whose face shows all of that in a crooked smile, bad bowl haircut and some of the century's most god awful clothing. It reminds me of how far I've come myself, and how far I've yet to go myself. It humbles me and that's when I can see ... if not the best, then at least not the worst ... in someone. It feels less personal. And 99% of the time it's not personal, that's just how I've taken it.
  16. My family is like that. It's not considered rude in our family, it's just considered family. It'd actually be weird to ask. But my ex-husband's family worked way differently. Honestly it wasn't until I met him that I realized families have different boundaries. And that by common poll, my family apparently had zero whereas the rest of the world had SOME. :) I'm sorry your weekend is not going to go as you had hoped and planned. As more of my brothers and sisters got married, the light bulb went from dark to dim and eventually to bright. I hope your niece eventually figures it out. And for your sake I hope it's before your BIL's next conference LOL. Is there any way you can channel your inner assertive sister? Maybe say, "Oh, sounds great, but why don't we /insert plan to cut niece's visit in half/ because I had planned to do /insert something best done as a sister trio/ on /whatever day/" and see how that goes over? It might be scary, but it'd be a start - and a good way to activate your niece's light bulb!
  17. Bleach irritates my skin, so I just stick everything out in the sun. It works on 90% of my stains, which is considerable. I'm a spaz, I spill on myself all day long. I actually buy lots of white because it's easiest for me to get stains out of. White shirts, white shorts, white tablecloths, white bedding ... I like white LOL.
  18. I have an age gap. I don't know what you want out of morning meeting, so I don't know if this is helpful but here's what we do: rosary - taking turns leading a decade (everyone is either learning or reviewing the prayers in one or another language), saint of the day - someone reads it aloud. if I've planned ahead, my youngest has a coloring page to accompany it, Catholic Mosaic + coloring book, when applicable - oldest reads (this is my tidy-the-kitchen time), and our general plan for the day is covered (school work, chores, extra activities, anticipated meals/snacks). We're not very civilized, though, so we do all of that while eating breakfast. Except for the rosary which we did before breakfast; we're not complete barbarians!
  19. If I were the mom-friend, I wouldn't take you at your (first) word that I didn't need to make it right in some way. It's not something minor like crayon on the wall, you know? Even if it wasn't financial, I'd be over there trying to fix it anyway I could - to show you that I was trying, if nothing else. And then I'd give you money whether I had it or not, and whether you needed it or not. It seems right to me. You could blame your husband. I'm sure he won't mind being the fall guy since his priority seems to be getting the table replaced - ask him! Say, you know I thought it was going to be okay but it's been a month and my husband wants to know when the table will be replaced. Is there some way we can figure out how to settle the issue, maybe figure out how to split the replacement? You seem sympathetic to her parenting struggles, so I'm sure she sees that in you. Hopefully she'll assume the best.
  20. I don't (very often). Mine is another one that tosses his socks off anywhere, then goes through his cousins' drawers to snag theirs. I used to buy them all one brand socks because it was easier. Now that we have a sock thief, I have to buy everyone different socks. Giant PITB. So my boy gets a new bag of socks for every holiday and the occasional pseudo-holiday. He no longer gets the good ones because he's just gonna lose them anyway. He gets the Target or Costco special, whatever is cheap when I happen to be at the store and remember. It ends up being every 2-3 months that he gets a new bag. In the interim he tries to steal socks or he goes without. And his feet stink something nasty, but what'cha gonna do ... My nephews aren't that hard on their socks. They only need replacing once a year, if that. I buy them new ones each year whether they need them or not, usually around their (fall) birthdays. My daughter likes to do indoor "snowball" fights so she takes their old socks for that. I'm not sure where my son's genetics went bad.
  21. Sometimes things get so thick that we lose sight of the joys we once had. I'm glad your view thinned out, and I hope to Grey Goose that mine does, too. Ideally sooner than later LOL. (That goes for either - the view thinning out OR the Grey Goose. I'm in no position to be picky.)
  22. Poor dear, and how nerve-wracking for the family, too. Prayers for all of you, and the medical staff caring for her.
  23. Something else you may want to try in addition to the longer cooking time - rinse the rice! Rinse it twice :). If you have the time to, it might also help the texture if you soak the rice before cooking it. Also, brown rice usually needs more water. I do about 1:1 for white and 1:2 for brown. Brown rice definitely tastes different. Not wildly so, depending on the type, but it does. I don't know how people live without rice cookers! Everybody had one when I was growing up. Everyone got one for housewarming gifts, wedding gifts, bigger ones for baby showers LOL ... I don't even have to find storage for mine, it sits on my counter and gets used every single day. My crock pot on the other hand ... seemed like a great idea at the time, collecting dust in the garage!
  24. I see two issues here: grade level and maturity level. Like the mom-in-question, I come from a culture that prizes education. It's a child's job, responsibility, duty, and a direct reflection upon the family. You work harder as a child to academically promote than you do a working adult! Many of you see this as a single issue. You likely grew up where the standard for grade promotion is academics + maturity. Admin tells the mom that the child has one but not the other, but concedes to her. She is coming at this from a totally different mindset, whether she realizes it or not. To me this is a sign of her native culture rearing its head in a new culture. And she may not even realize this is what's happening here. It may look like special snowflake syndrome, but I don't think that is her intent. We're from an area where academics is the sole determining factor for grade promotion - not maturity and certainly not academics PLUS maturity. She probably can't understand why admin doesn't understand her frustration, and it's clear they aren't understanding hers. But I think it's just a clash of cultures. I've BTDT and gotten more than enough tee-shirts LOL.
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